Hidden Paradise

by A. M. Guilliams

  “All is good, Lil. I promise. Now get something to eat. I know how you are when you get hungry. Audrey and I are leaving so you can get settled. Let us know if you need anything,” Owen said as he and Audrey gave the baby kisses before they left.

  Hesitantly, I walked over to her and held out my arms for the baby. She didn’t look like she was in the mood to share, but I wanted some bonding time with my daughter as well.

  Reluctantly, she handed her over with a low sigh. I could tell this was hard on her, and I wanted to make this new transition in her life as easy as possible. I put my arm around her shoulder and led her over to the couch. Once we were seated, I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into me so we could both cuddle with our daughter. She kicked off her heels and curled her legs in beside her on the couch as she settled her head in the crook of my arm.

  “This is the best part of my day. Coming home to her,” she said as she placed her finger in our daughter’s hand. Her little fingers curled around Lily’s finger with what looked like a tight grip as she moved her little arms up and down.

  I still couldn’t believe I’d created something so beautiful with the woman nestled up beside me.

  I’d always wanted a family. Someday. I didn’t think it would be this soon but now that I’d seen her. Held her. I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.

  Lily’s stomach growled, causing us both to laugh and the baby to fuss at our sudden movement. I rocked her in my arms to soothe her, and Lily sat up beside me. Our moment broken for now.

  “Do you like Chinese?” It was too late to cook something, and I knew Lily probably would welcome the night off from making something for dinner.

  She nodded, and I dug my phone out of my pocket to look up a restaurant that delivered. I called and ordered our food after she told me what she liked.

  “It should be here in about forty minutes or so,” I told her as she stared off in the distance.

  I sat down my phone on the coffee table. The second I sat it down, it vibrated on the surface.

  I didn’t need the interruption, but I had to take the call in case it was something important. Checking the screen, I knew that I needed to answer.

  “Can I step into another room to take this call?” I asked Lily.

  “Sure, my office is the room next to Hali’s. I can take her if you need to. She’ll get fussy if you’re not paying any attention to her.”

  I shook my head, not ready to let her go as I walked down the hall with my phone in one hand and my daughter in the other. It still felt odd to say my daughter, but I was gladly getting used to having the new title of being someone’s dad.

  As soon as the door was shut, I sat down in the chair behind her desk and took the call. I made sure that while I was discussing business on the other end of the line, I had my finger in Hali’s grasp, something she seemed to like. I rubbed my thumb back and forth on her tiny hand as she shook my finger.

  I looked around the room and noticed a list of some type taped to the wall. All items but one were marked off. Get over Thorn still had yet to be crossed out. I wasn’t going to allow that to happen, but I was happy to see that she still wasn’t the workaholic type and that she’d set boundaries for her job and travel situation. With the little that I’d gotten to know about her, I knew she wouldn’t regret staying stateside once she got used to the idea.

  The call lasted a little longer than I’d anticipated, but I’d had my first successful business call while entertaining my three-month-old.

  “Let’s go do something nice for mommy while we wait for the food to arrive,” I whispered to Hali who was looking up at me with her bright green eyes. Her mother’s eyes.

  Quietly, I made my way from her office with a mental note to up my A game so that she wouldn’t have the chance to get over me. I looked down the hallway and entered her room making sure that the door didn’t creak giving us away. I shut her bedroom door behind me and went into the master bath.

  “Mommy looks like she needs to relax in a nice hot bath. Let’s see what we can find to make that happen, shall we?”

  It didn’t seem odd to me to have a conversation with her like I would with anyone else. She looked contently back into my eyes as I searched for some bubble bath. I found a bag of bath bombs under the bathroom sink. I turned the water on, making sure it was a little hotter than necessary since we still had to eat.

  Once the tub was filled, I sat the bath bomb on the side of the tub so she could place it in the water when she was ready. I saw the lighter on the side of the tub and lit the candles that were placed along the corner. Shutting off the lights as I left the room, I made sure the door was shut so it wouldn’t give our surprise away.

  I went back into the living room as Hali let out noises to make sure we didn’t forget about her. Like that would ever happen.

  A knock on the door sounded just as I entered the living room. I motioned Lily to stay seated on the couch as I went to the door to get the food. I paid the delivery guy and gave him a decent tip as I took the bags from him.

  With my foot, I shut the door behind me.

  “Let me help you with that,” Lily said as she stood up from the couch and reached for the baby. I handed her over because I sensed she needed to hold her.

  It took a few tries to find the plates, but after opening two different cabinets, I found them and plated our food.

  We both sat down at the table, and I placed the plates in front of us.

  With one hand, she dug into hers as she muttered a thank you.

  I complied with her need for silence as I started to eat. I was going to offer to hold the baby, but she seemed content with eating with one hand and having her in the other arm.

  Thirty silent minutes later, she pushed the plate away and said she was full. I stood and placed our dishes in the sink.

  “We have a surprise for mommy don’t we, sweet girl,” I said as I took the baby away from her.

  “And what surprise would that be?” she questioned as she cut her eyes at me.

  “Follow me and you’ll find out,” I replied as I walked down the hall in the direction of her room.

  I opened the door of the bathroom with her closely in tow and placed the bath bomb into the water, listening to it fizz behind me.

  Turning, I saw her gasp and her eyes fill with unshed tears as she entered the space.

  “What is this for?”

  “You looked like you’ve had one hell of a day, and I wanted you to be able to relax. So come, relax.” I motioned at the tub.

  “I love the gesture. But I can’t. It’s almost eight and she’ll be eating soon. She needs a bath, and I need to make bottles and get everything ready for tomorrow.”

  She sounded out of breath by the time she was done.

  “Hey. Let me help you. I’ll bathe her and get her ready for her feeding and bed. I’ll make the bottles and lay out her clothes for tomorrow. You just need a minute to yourself, and I want you to have it. So take it. Shave. Read a book. Do whatever it is you girls do when you relax in the tub,” I said as I placed a kiss on her forehead and walked away, giving her no other choice but to comply.

  I laid Hali in her crib for a moment as I went into the kitchen to see if there was a bottle of wine in the fridge. I found what I was looking for and poured her a glass. I knocked on the door and waited for her to tell me it was okay to enter.

  Walking in, I stopped in my tracks. I probably should’ve thought this through. The sight before me took my breath away. She had her hair clipped back and at the top of her head. Her body was covered in purple bubbles, hiding all the assets I remembered thoroughly enjoying in Bora Bora. I had to snap myself out of it, but it was hard with her like this in front of me. Literally.

  “I figured you could use this,” I finally managed to speak as I held up the glass of white wine.

  “Thank you for this. It means a lot. More than you’ll know.”

  I could tell she was trying not to shed tears, so I didn’t
say anything else. I nodded and handed her the glass before I turned and left to tend to our daughter.

  Thirty minutes passed and the front of my shirt was soaked from bathing our daughter, but I managed to find what I needed and get the job done. She was in a sleeper like she was the night before, only this one was purple with little sea turtles on the front. I pulled out an outfit from her closet that seemed appropriate for the weather for tomorrow and hung it on the knob of her dresser.

  With Hali in my arms, I went to make the bottles that still needed to be made, including the one she was due to eat. I found the can of powdered formula on the counter. Luckily there was a note on the fridge with the number of ounces that she ate with each feeding because I didn’t want to interrupt Lily while she relaxed. The note said she ate every three to four hours so I made enough bottles to get her through the night and into tomorrow. There was still so much I didn’t know. That I hadn’t gotten the chance to know, but I had to remember it took time to learn it all. Lily had three months to learn, and I’d only had two nights. I’d get there in time, but even this little thing that I didn’t know made me regret all the time I’d missed.

  Lily came into the kitchen in a cotton nightgown, her hair pulled back in a towel and bare feet, looking more refreshed than she had when she went into the room.

  “Did you enjoy your bath?”

  “Very much. Thank you. I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a bath like that. Probably shortly after I found out I was pregnant,” she said with a laugh.

  I hated that she didn’t have time to pamper herself and take a simple bath, but I was glad that I could be here to give her that. She’d have more times like those even if I had to force her to go in there and do it. She didn’t have to be superwoman now that I was around to help.

  “You don’t have to thank me. I’m glad I could help. All of the bottles have the formula in them waiting for the water to be added. I made ten of them because I didn’t know if you’d need them tonight or not. And she’s been bathed and lotioned up and is in her pajamas.”

  Having a child was a lot of work, but I was glad I was here even if it was to help with prepping bottles and bathing Hali.

  “How did you...?” she started to ask, and I pointed to the note on the fridge that I was sure was there as a reminder to her mom or Owen when they watched the baby.

  She nodded and smiled. I wished I knew what she was thinking and that we’d had the time to talk tonight. But words not being spoken was a blessing in disguise. We’d said so much more tonight than words could’ve expressed.

  Hali started to fuss in my arms, and I looked up at Lily who I could tell wanted to reach for our daughter. I handed her over along with the bottle that was done heating. She placed the nipple at Hali’s lips who greedily began to suck and make the grunting noises like she did before. I grinned and shook my head as I followed her into Hali’s room. She sat in the rocking chair and placed her feet up on the footrest as she got comfortable and continued to feed the baby.

  She finished the bottle in record time, and Lily leaned down to kiss Hali’s now sleeping head. I walked over and reached down to grab her from her arms so I could give her love before I laid her in the crib for the night.

  I laid her head on my chest as I rocked her back and forth, just the way I’d learned she liked to be soothed.

  “Daddy loves you, sweet girl,” I whispered to her as I kissed the top of her head. Leaning down, I placed her in between the white triangles that laid in her crib. I was sure they were there to keep her in one position in the crib, but I’d ask just to make sure.

  Turning, I saw Lily wiping her eyes. We walked out into the hall after she turned on the monitor, and I stopped her by grabbing her elbow before she could get too far.

  “Why the tears, Lily?” I asked, genuinely concerned as I looked into her eyes and waited for an answer.

  “You probably think I’m a blubbering, broken mess,” she joked as she tried to regain her composure and stop the tears that weren’t ready to stop.

  “A beautiful, blubbering mess,” I joked back as I pulled her into my arms.

  She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest.

  I rubbed my hands up and down her back, enjoying the feeling of having her in my arms.

  She sniffled a few times, but I patiently waited for her to compose herself so she could respond.

  “It’s just that I never thought she’d have a dad in her life. And now you’re here, and I’m so happy that she’ll get to have that. Hearing you call yourself daddy to her just broke the dam of tears that were waiting to fall. Especially after the surprise that you gave me tonight. It just all became too much,” she said as she burrowed her head into my chest. More wetness seeped through my shirt, but I held her tighter. I leaned against the wall for support as I continued to hold her.

  “You’ll never have to worry about her not having a daddy in her life. I’m here. I’m here to stay. I’m not going anywhere,” I assured her. Something I was sure that she needed to hear now more than ever.

  She pulled away moments later, her eyes puffy from crying, but I’d never seen a more beautiful sight. Again, I wiped the tears away and held her face in my hands once they were all dry. One day, I’d hoped that she’d only cry happy tears that were caused by the moments we’d created.

  “These hormones will end up being the death of me, I swear. Even three months later, I still get emotional over the craziest things.”

  She tried to justify the crying, but what she didn’t know was that she didn’t have to. I’d gladly dry all the tears now if it meant it got me closer to calling her mine.

  She yawned, and I placed my hand on the small of her back and guided her the short distance to her room.

  “Tucking me in again two nights in a row. A girl could get used to this,” she tried to joke, but if she only knew that was the plan. I wanted her to get used to it. I wanted her to want me just as much as I wanted her.

  She reached the side of her bed and turned to face me. Her hand rubbed the back of her neck as she tried to massage away some sort of pain.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah, just a crick in my neck.”

  “May I?”

  She waited a moment before she nodded her approval.

  I climbed into her bed and rested against the headboard. Spreading my legs, I patted the spot in the middle for her to sit so I could massage out the spot that hurt her neck.

  She climbed onto the bed, careful to keep the back of the nightgown from riding up as she slid back toward me. I rubbed my hands together to make sure they were warm and then placed them on each side of her neck. She was tense as I began to lightly massage the tight muscles. Gradually, I applied more pressure, gauging just how much she could handle so I applied the perfect amount.

  Using my thumbs, I massaged them in circles up and down the center of her neck, working them outward. She groaned with each pass I made up and down her neck, causing my cock to stir in my pants. I didn’t want to move but if she kept making those noises, she’d notice just the effect she had on me.

  The more I rubbed the more she leaned back into me. I could get used to having her in my arms this way every night. I’d gladly rub her neck or any other part of her body on a daily basis if I could be so lucky as to have her the way I wanted to in my life.

  The towel that was still on her head started to come loose as she moved, and another thought entered my mind. Looking around the room, I noticed the brush that lay on the bedside table. I gently pulled the towel off her head and tossed it in the direction of her hamper.

  Picking up the brush, I started to brush the tangles out of her head. Once they were all free, I took the time to brush through each side of her head, earning me another moan from her lips.

  “This is heaven,” she whispered as her neck moved to the side and she fully leaned back against me. I needed to move. Needed to say goodnight and leave before I did something I’d regret.

&n
bsp; But she moved her head to the side, causing that spot on her neck that I knew turned her on to look so inviting, and I leaned in before giving it much thought. Gently, I sucked on the spot where her shoulder and her neck met, enticing another low moan. I was going to Hell. She’d hate me for it in the morning, I was sure of it. But I’d stop it before it got too far. I could do that.

  With the tip of my tongue, I traced the spot I’d just sucked and moved up and down her neck. Goose bumps rose on her skin and her hands gripped my thighs. Looking down at her, her eyes were closed and she looked like she was in a state between relaxation and bliss. I brought my hands to her shoulders and lightly rubbed up and down her arms with the tips of my fingers. She shivered from my touch, causing her to move just right in between my legs. The friction caused my dick to grow hard, and I knew that I’d gone too far.

  Groaning inwardly, I wrapped my arms around her middle and rested my chin on top of her head. I didn’t want to stop. My body screamed for me to continue. But I couldn’t. For both of our sakes, I had to walk away tonight and take the coldest shower known to man. I saw a lot of those in my future if this was how we ended up every night. But I’d gladly take them every day if she’d become mine.

  She broke out of the trance I’d put her in and moved her arms above her head to stretch. I slid from behind her and stood. After I adjusted my pants so my hardness was as hidden, I turned around to tell her goodnight.

  “I’ll see you in the morning, Lily. Sweet dreams,” I whispered as I bent down and pulled the covers over her body and placed a kiss on her cheek. Her cheeks turned a light shade of pick as she cuddled into the pillow and smiled with a sigh.

  I’d say tonight was more of a success even though we hadn’t discussed anything of importance. There was always tomorrow.

  I locked up her apartment and turned back to her door before I left the building. As I stared at the shut door, I thought to myself, hopefully, there weren’t too many more tomorrows that I’d have to wait until I was able to tell her goodnight and hold her in my arms as we both drifted off to dreamland.