The Cartel 7--Illuminati--Roundtable of Bosses

by Ashley

  The sound of the ambulance’s sirens blared in her ear as they exited the prison and she was lifted into the back.

  A sense of hope filled Breeze as she saw the sky. She looked at the hues of blue and admired the dense white puff of clouds that floated high above her. She was outside the walls of the prison and she never truly understood how good it felt to be free until this moment. She drew in that free air and closed her eyes to enjoy it, briefly. Dread quickly came washing over her because she knew the escape was only temporary. She would return and when she did, she would be empty-handed.

  * * *

  It felt like she was floating. Those white, fluffy clouds surrounded her as she flew high, never wanting to come down. Breeze was semiconscious as she slowly awoke from the anesthesia. Her eyes were heavy, so heavy that it was easier to not try to open them at all. So, she stayed right there, between consciousness and unconsciousness, unshackled, unbothered, and completely unaware of the six-hour surgery she had just endured. Is this heaven? she thought. Her entire body felt soothed. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually, she was on one accord. It was almost orgasmic.

  Her entire life she had felt some type of pain. That’s what living was about. Pain reminded Breeze that she was still breathing, still living; no matter how small the pain was, she lived with something on her heart daily. Perhaps it was a physical ailment, or an emotional scar, or a spiritual wound, but pain always existed until now. In this peaceful, elevated space, all she felt was bliss. That let her know that this place couldn’t be real. Life never felt this good. The absence of pain meant the absence of life and the fear that came with that thought brought her crashing out of the clouds and down to reality where all the hurt awaited her.

  “Hmm,” she moaned as her eyelids fluttered. Hazy images came into view as Breeze blinked slowly, trying to force herself to awaken. The agony seemed to hit her all at once and she didn’t even have to summon the tears that leaked out of the sides of her eyes. They were effortless, like residual raindrops that fell on windowpanes after a storm.

  “Relax, relax.” A soothing voice could be heard in the distance but Breeze couldn’t come out of the fog long enough to see the face to whom it belonged. “You’re going to feel very heavy, very confused for a little bit. Just take your time and come out of it slowly.”

  Breeze took a deep breath, but that only seemed to lull her back to sleep.

  “Hey baby girl.”

  This voice she recognized. It was her father and she opened her eyes trying to find him. The heavy drugs pulled her eyes closed as if they were shutters.

  “Be strong, Breeze. You’re a Diamond.”

  She heard him again. This time she saw him and she wasn’t sure if this was heaven or if she were simply dreaming but she wanted to stay. Security filled her. There was nothing like the love of Big Carter. He was her father and since the day he had been callously taken from her world, no one had been able to fill his void. Not even her brothers had made her feel as safe as her papa.

  She wanted to speak back to him but she couldn’t. It was like her mouth was glued shut and the more she struggled to speak, the more it felt like she couldn’t breathe.

  “Be strong, Breeze.”

  It was her mother’s voice she heard next and torment filled her. Her sweet mother, her innocent mother. Slain in the crosshairs of a war. She was a victim to the game, murdered by Miamor before Miamor became a part of their family.

  Breeze was so emotional. Suddenly this dark place felt like hell. She hadn’t thought of the deaths of her parents in years. Now in this heightened state of emotion their memory was being dredged up against her will. She couldn’t even wake herself up to escape it so she just lay there, in darkness, listening to the ones she had buried as they urged her to be strong. It felt like a joke. She had always been the weakest link of the Diamond family. She was supposed to go away to college, to make a life outside of the streets for herself, but she had fallen for a gangster. She had fallen for a man like her father and from the moment she met Zyir, she knew that she had chosen the type of man that belonged to the streets.

  “Wake up, B.”

  It was Mecca. Her dear, live wire of a brother. Oh, how she missed him. She wanted to tell him, but still no words escaped her.

  “Breeze, get up.”

  The last voice was Monroe’s and Breeze’s eyes opened. She weakly reached for the remote that lay next to her and she pressed the Call button to summon a nurse. A part of her wanted to close her eyes and feel the closeness of her family. They hadn’t come to her in years, but she knew that being close to them meant being close to death. She could stay if she wanted and they would welcome her home, but she couldn’t leave her baby in the world alone. The door opened and the same soothing voice she had heard before entered.

  “Welcome back,” the woman said. She was a young nurse with a warming presence and a friendly smile. “Let’s check your incision,” she said as she adjusted Breeze’s bed and lifted her hospital gown. Breeze grimaced as she saw the long incision on her stomach.

  “Were you trying to hurt yourself?” the nurse asked.

  Breeze rolled her head lazily to the side, the anesthesia still making it hard to concentrate. “If that’s what it takes…”

  “Takes? What does this accomplish? We had to cut you open and suture organs that had been damaged by the blade you swallowed. Make me understand this, now?” the nurse asked.

  “My baby is in this hospital. I gave birth to her less than twenty-four hours ago and they stripped her from me,” Breeze whispered. The pain in her voice filled the air like humidity, making it hard to breathe through the thickness of her torment.

  “I’m sorry,” the nurse said as she redressed Breeze’s wound and then removed her rubber gloves.

  “She was so little and so beautiful. I just want to see her. I’m her mother. I had this life, this extra heartbeat inside me for nine months and I feel like I’m dying now that she’s gone,” Breeze said. “I’m not built for this. I’m locked up because of who I am, not what I’ve done.”

  Breeze pulled her gown over her face and sobbed. She was so embarrassed that she was crying in front of this stranger, exposing her weakness as her chest heaved uncontrollably. The decorum of professionalism was hard to maintain as Breeze’s sadness spread like an infection.

  The nurse cleared her throat and blinked away tears. “Would you like to see your daughter?”

  The nurse’s voice was so low that Breeze almost missed it. She looked up at the nurse in shock, almost hyperventilating as she tried to gulp in deep breaths to calm down.

  “I could lose my job for this, but if she’s in the nursery, I can take you there. There is a guard on the door,” the nurse said.

  Breeze’s sobs settled to sniffles as she gained composure. She didn’t know why this woman was willing to put her job on the line to help her, but she was more than grateful. “I don’t even know if I can walk right now. My legs feel a little numb,” Breeze said.

  “I can wheel you down there. It’ll look better. I’ll say I’m taking you for testing,” the nurse said.

  “Why are you helping me?” Breeze asked.

  The woman cleared the hair out of her face and wiped her nose with the back of her hand as she responded, “Six years ago, I gave birth to a baby boy. I was addicted to pills for the entire pregnancy. He came twelve weeks early and my mother petitioned the court for custody. She took him from me and I haven’t seen him since. I cleaned myself up and I finished school, got a job, but it’s never good enough for her. So, I can relate to someone taking your child away. No mother should ever have to go through that,” the nurse said passionately as she wiped a single tear from her cheek.

  Breeze reached and gave the nurse’s hand a weak squeeze.

  The nurse turned her back on Breeze and cleared her throat as she composed herself. When she turned back toward Breeze, it was like the moment had never happened.

  “I’ll be back with a wheelchair,” the nu
rse said.

  Anxiety filled Breeze as she tried to swing her legs over the edge of the bed. She could barely stand it as she gritted her teeth in excruciation. God, the razor felt better in than out, Breeze thought as she grimaced. She eased down off the bed, placing her weight onto her feet, only for gravity to pull her down to the floor. The nurse came rushing back in with a wheelchair.

  “Oh no! You should have waited for me. It will take a few hours before your legs feel normal again. Come on, let me help you.”

  Breeze held the nurse around her neck and together they managed to get her into the wheelchair.

  “There is a baby Jane Doe here that was transferred over yesterday. She’s under observation and a bit underweight, so she will be here for the next forty-eight hours before Social Services takes her,” the nurse said. “If those staples keep opening, they will probably keep you here too.”

  Breeze nodded. She didn’t care if she had to rip every staple out of her belly herself, she would make sure she had as much time with her daughter as possible. The nurse rolled Breeze out of the room and they were immediately stopped by the prison guard.

  “The prisoner cannot leave this room,” the guard said.

  “I have orders from the doctor to take her for testing. You can handcuff her to this wheelchair if you would like, but it is important that we get this taken care of.”

  “This prisoner is under state custody—”

  “Come on, she can’t even stand on her feet on her own. The test will take an hour at most. You can handcuff her to the chair and I will not let her out of my sight,” the nurse insisted.

  The officer reluctantly followed suit and cinched the bracelets tightly around one of Breeze’s wrists before connecting it to the arm of the wheelchair. The nurse moved on swiftly and Breeze breathed a sigh of relief as they stepped onto the elevator and made their way to the nursery. Breeze thought about running. She thought about having this woman wheel her right out of the hospital, but it made no sense. Her sentence was too short to do anything other than serve it.

  Breeze heard the cries coming from the nursery as they approached and her heartbeat sped up in anticipation. She sat up eagerly and the nurse stopped briefly, grabbing a blanket out of a supply closet.

  “Hide the handcuff,” the nurse instructed.

  Breeze did as she was told and when they arrived at the window that overlooked all the newborn babies her heart swelled. Butterflies formed in her stomach and nervous energy filled her. Her eyes scanned the babies, until finally they landed on one. It was like she could discern Aurora’s cries out of all the high-pitched wails. It was the sweetest sound she had ever heard.

  “Please get her,” Breeze whispered.

  Breeze watched the nurse through the window as she bargained with another woman in scrubs. Breeze clenched her fists nervously. God please, let her bring my daughter out here, Breeze thought. She watched the nurse come back out empty-handed and her chest caved in.

  “No, please…”

  “I’m going to move you to an empty room up the hall so we are inconspicuous. They are going to bring her down in a few minutes,” the nurse informed her.

  “Really?” Breeze asked in disbelief as her eyes welled with tears.

  “Really,” the nurse confirmed.

  Breeze waited impatiently as she was taken to a room and when she heard the knock at the door, her heart stopped. A woman came in holding a tiny bundle wrapped in pink receiving blankets.

  “You’ve got half an hour. I’ll be back then,” the woman warned.

  The nurse nodded. “Thanks, girl.”

  The woman handed Breeze her baby and tears flooded her eyes. She cried so much it was hard to see her baby’s beautiful face. “What’s her name?” the nurse asked.

  Breeze admired her daughter’s soft features. She looked so much like Zyir that it made Breeze’s heart skip a beat. “Aurora,” Breeze said.

  “That’s beautiful,” the nurse returned with a smile. “I’ll give you some privacy. I’ll be right outside.”

  Breeze shook so hard that even Aurora began to cry. “Aww, I’m sorry baby. Mommy’s just so happy to see you,” Breeze whispered. She kissed her daughter’s forehead and inhaled her scent. She smelled so brand new. It was like no fragrance Breeze had ever smelled. It was the scent of life and it was so refreshing to her weary soul. “I love you so much,” Breeze said. “And I’m so sorry that we can’t be together all the time right now. I love you, oh Mommy loves you.”

  Aurora’s lips curved up in a faint smile and Breeze knew that her daughter knew exactly who she was. They hadn’t spent all that time together for nothing. Her baby knew the sound of her voice. Breeze laughed. “I can’t believe you’re finally here. I don’t know if that was a real smile or not, but I’ll take it. I’ll think about that smile every day until I’m with you again,” she said. “I’m going to fight to get back to you; until then you have to stay strong. We’re Diamonds. We don’t break. Don’t forget me my love,” Breeze whispered.

  The tiny whine that escaped Aurora’s lips was all the reply Breeze needed. She rubbed her daughter’s tiny hand with her forefinger, sighing in complete bliss. Breeze had never felt something so soft or seen something so beautiful. Breeze forgot about all her troubles. In the presence of a love this grand she could only focus on her child. She couldn’t believe that she had brought something so special into the world and she instantly felt obligated to protect her. This love made her question every other love she had ever known. It couldn’t have been real before, because it had never felt like this. This was a level of intimacy she had never known and in that moment, she forgot about her anger toward Zyir. She just wished he was there to meet their little girl. This was a product of real love. Aurora was physical proof that a man and a woman together create miracles. Breeze savored every minute with her baby girl and when the nurse walked back in Breeze closed her eyes.

  She pulled her baby away from her chest so that she could stare into her darling face. She wanted to be able to remember every feature. “I have to give her back now, don’t I?” Breeze asked.

  “I’m sorry. If I could get you more time with her, I would,” the nurse said.

  Breeze’s lip quivered. She kissed Aurora’s cheek. “I love you,” she whispered. She held her out. “Take her. If you don’t take her now, I’m not going to give her back. So just take her,” Breeze said, struggling to keep herself from breaking down. When the nurse removed Aurora from her arms, it felt like someone was removing a part of her. Aurora was an extension of her—a vital one that Breeze needed to survive. She was choking on grief. Breeze’s soul screamed as the nurse wheeled her out of the room and away from the nursery. Her gut churned. Her heart twisted because a mother leaving her child was unnatural and it hurt deeply.

  As the nurse returned her to the hospital room, no one was the wiser that she had seen her child. The guard stood at her door and he removed the handcuffs before she entered the room.

  The nurse helped Breeze into her bed and turned to leave the room.

  “What’s your name?” Breeze asked.

  “Steph,” the nurse replied.

  “Steph, are you a better person since you lost your son?” Breeze asked.

  “I’m clean if that’s what you mean, but I won’t be better until he is home with me. I’m working my ass off to prove that I am fit to be his mom,” she said.

  “If I asked you to take her—”

  “I can’t.…”

  “Please. I’m not asking you to steal her from here or anything, but if you would foster her. Do it the right way. At least I would know who my baby is with while I’m away. I know it is crazy and it doesn’t make sense, but please. I will pay you, I can get some money to you every month for taking her in.” Breeze was speaking so fast, pleading her case. She had already thought of some of her father’s old associates who owed her favors—favors she would cash in on if it meant her daughter would be somewhere safe. “You don’t even know me, but—”r />
  “I’m sorry, but I can’t,” the nurse interrupted. Breeze knew it was too much to ask, but she had to try. Breeze watched the woman exit, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

  Breeze lifted her gown and looked at her incision. She dug her nails deep into it, pulling out each staple one by one. Anguish spread through her as sweat covered her body. She bit her bottom lip so hard that she drew blood, but it was the only way to stop herself from screaming. Breeze was determined to stay in the hospital. If Aurora was there, Breeze would be as well. It only gave her a couple days but if that’s all she could get, she would take it.

  CHAPTER 13

  Breeze was transferred back to the prison a week later, but after days of loving up her baby girl and then having to leave her, she was no longer the same. She had someone to fight for and she would be damned if anyone stopped her from getting back to Aurora.

  As soon as she entered her cell she noticed that another inmate now occupied the space. The guards had wasted no time stripping her of the special treatment that pregnancy had afforded her.

  “You’re on my bunk,” Breeze said as she looked at the woman in frustration. The woman made no effort to move. Breeze wasn’t in the mood for bitches and their attitudes. She had just lost the most important thing in her life—her motherhood—and she was looking for someone to take out her anger on. She walked over to her new cell mate and snatched the old-school Walkman she was listening to out of her hand.

  “Why you all in my shit? I put my shit where the guard told me to,” the woman said.

  “And now I’m telling you to put it somewhere else,” Breeze said. She wouldn’t normally make such a big deal out of things, but she was feeling like she needed to stand up for what belonged to her. People can’t just take things from you and act like there isn’t a consequence for it. They can’t just take. Who just takes … She felt the flutter of emotion making her heart leap painfully. They just took her from me.