Forever

by Wanda Boyd

- I did not want you to suffer. How not remember anything, we decided not to tell about the girl.

  - What happened to her?

  - She died - screams. - Happy? That's what I wanted to know? She was born dead. The doctors could not do anything to save the girl.

  Caio sitting on the couch and let the tears fall down my face. I had imagined that my daughter had not survived, but now, listening with all the letters, it was completely different. It seemed to make real her death.

  - Where is she buried?

  - Do not know. We left the hospital caring for the body.

  - You did not give a decent burial to own granddaughter?

  - Grand daugther? - She laughs. - I never wanted that child to grandchild. She was ruining his life. He tied to a pawn with no future. God has delivered you from a horrible future to take that child you.

  - I hate you - cry on the phone and throw it against the wall and shatters into thousands of pieces.

  As she had the courage to say that God had killed my daughter?

  I go to my room and throw myself on the bed, crying desperately. My daughter was dead and buried somewhere, probably as a pauper, that if the hospital is not using her little body to study.

  I hear the door close and Mari laugh accompanied by a male voice, after her door closes, leave the room and grab the car keys.

  I drive late at night with only one destination, the home of Anthony at that time the only thing I wanted and needed was his arms. He was the only one who could feel my pain at that time.

  When I park in front of your house, I see it all off, but as his car is there, it can only be at home. I go down running of the car and start to knock on the door, I'm practically pounding on the door, when I hear someone cursing inside, the door opens with everything.

  - Ceci? What's it? - Question concerned to look at me.

  - She actually died - and talk me play in his arms. - My mother confirmed.

  He pushes me in his arms and pulls me into the house. Your arms almost suffocate me with the pressure he does, but I do not mind, I need this to keep me sane or I go mad.

  When I find myself, I am sitting on his lap on the couch, his eyes are red from crying, her hand rubs my back light.

  - Where was she buried?

  - She said she does not know that the hospital was in charge of taking care of it.

  - I'll find out where our daughter is, and we will make a beautiful funeral for our little angel.

  - It hurts Antonio - speak, rubbing his chest, and he sighs.

  - I know. My heart broke with the confirmation as well. - He returns to embrace me and supports his chin on my head. - I wanted to make this pain go away, but do not how to do it, honey.

  I do not know how long we embraced wordlessly, when I realized the day had dawned, I got up from his lap, which also had not slept at all.

  - I'd better go home, Mari must be worried, ran without warning.

  He gets up from the couch and came with me to the door when it opens, one of the ranch hands is approaching.

  - Boss, the veterinarian could not come to examine the horse.

  - Some problem? - I ask.

  - I bought a horse and asked to call a veterinarian to examine. - He shrugs.

  - If you want, I can take a look at it before you go. - I'm going to the stables accompanied by Antonio, who guide me to a stall. As I approached, I see the horse that was being sold in the auction, lying. - You bought the horse? - I ask softly and he shrugs.

  - You were so upset with the bad treatment he received from the former owner, who did not resist and ended up buying the horse.

  I look at Antonio with arm resting on the wall of the bay, black hat on his head and his hand into the front pocket, I feel a pang in the head and an image invades my mind.

  I was in a stall with him at night, the only sound came from the crickets, he was leaning, looking at me with a smile bastard in the face, we made love here in this bay, in the hay, it was that night that I got pregnant .

  Another strong pang hits me, everything quickly darkens and my legs give way, knocking me down.

  Chapter 26 - Ignatius

  I enter the room where the Luzi is being treated, but she is sleeping. I sit on a chair beside him and caught in his hand. I'm rambling about life, when I notice that there is a person standing in the doorway, watching me.

  - She'll be fine. It seems to be a strong woman - says the nurse, with his impeccable blue uniform, large, curious eyes the color of honey and red hair in a high ponytail. She looks at me curiously, as if studying me, but oddly enough, it does not make me uncomfortable, just curious.

  - It seems that you like to look people - say.

  - And you say that based on what? - She asks with a mysterious smile.

  - When I saw you, you looked like you was already a stop time, in silence. He was watching me and continues until now. Because?

  - I like to watch people - she replied, shrugging.

  - And why not majored in psychology instead of nursing? - She further widen his eyes, surprised by my answer.

  - You'd be amazed at the similarities of the two professions. The difference is that psychologists only take care of mental health, while nurses, and care for injuries and perform the procedures applicable in every situation, have to hear the outburst of most patients, day after day, just knowing family members of each one and, with them, their stories in common with the patient. Nurses should also advise them about their lifestyle so they do not make the sick should say things to raise the self esteem of each, so that they have the will to fight against the evils that afflict them, among many other things.

  - Okay, you've convinced me about it. But I still think that would make a great psychologist.

  - You say that because you never got sick and was about my care - she says, and I feel a stirring in my private parts. I was starting to get interested in this woman I just met, and this could be something very good for me.

  - Do not be so, I will seek the emergency room with someone who is virus and will ask to take a spit in my water. - I joke, she laughs and finally approaches. She was breathtakingly beautiful.

  - Maybe I do not think that such a bad idea after all. - She flirts with me and stayed a few seconds watching us.

  Suddenly Alana enters and asks:

  - Am I interrupting something? - The nurse ignores the question of Alana and replies with another question.

  - You are relatives of Luzia lady?

  - My brother was three years old when she started working in our house, so it's like family. I've known her since I was born.

  - Well, I'm ending my shift, but if it is still hospitalized in my next call, I promise to take care of her with love and great care needed to improve it soon.

  Alana staring at her and when I think that she will do something stupid, she just replies:

  - Yes, I believe you go. Thank you so much for this.

  - Well, I advise you to go home to rest so they can come back tomorrow refreshed.

  No, I'll stay here with her - I say.

  - No way. The farm needs you more than me. I'll stay here with her.

  - You can not be a chaperone, is minor.

  - Well, none of you will accompany her. She will do a battery of tests, so will not be in that room. Tomorrow, yes, it's a good day for company. You must go and rest.

  Me and Alana Luzi look and feel the same agony of leaving her there alone, but it was the right thing to do. She would need all possible help going forward, so we needed to be rested.

  - Well, I'm going now - the nurse says.

  - We also - I say. Alana takes her bag and we followed toward the exit, just behind the nurse whose name I did not know. This thought makes me call her.

  - Hey, nurse. You have not told me your name.

  She turns to look at me and answer.

  - Neither you tell me his.

  - Mine is Antonio Ignatius, but you can call me Antonio.

  - Your name suits you. - It's all she said, before
turning and continue to follow the parking lot behind your car. It drives me crazy.

  - So you will not tell me your name?

  She stops, but this time do not look at me. Just says:

  - Rua Andorinhas, 756. Be there in an hour and a half I promise you'll find my name.

  She gets into his car and drives away, and only then I realize I'm standing like an asshole looking at her.

  - See, it is the first time that my brother is delighted with a girl who is not Cecilia. And you know the most? I liked her, it is an attitude of woman.

  - Mind your own business, little princess.

  An hour and a half later I was entering a bar that was the address that the redheaded nurse had given me. I had just left the farm and Alana took a quick shower, to allow time to pack up and get me at the bar without delay.

  The atmosphere was pleasant. The bar was full, but I could wander through it without problems. It did not take long to catch sight of it, but I confess that when I saw her, I was a bit airless. She was even more stunning with her hair loose.

  I sat in the chair beside her that, of course, was not empty at random.

  - Glad booked my place - I said, turning to look at her.

  - I hope you reward me well as tried to get this chair thirty times. I was almost writing to a recorder the phrase, "No, this chair is not available" and putting to play every time someone approached.

  - For the last thing I would ask you, if I saw you here alone in this bar, it would be if the chair was empty. In fact, I probably will not even ask. I already sit at once and ready, gambling who were not there at the time.

  She laughed and looked at each other for a few seconds before I heard a very familiar voice started singing.

  Damn it!

  There are times I'm not so interested in a girl, and just when I feel that I may have the chance to get involved with someone cool, meeting exactly Cecilia during my meeting.

  - Do you know her? - The stunning redhead question and only then realized I was staring at Cecilia for a few seconds longer than it should.

  - Yes, I know. But it does not matter, I have a serious question to ask you.

  - And what is your question, cowboy?

  - When will you finally reveal your name?

  - Well, it starts with C. It's a clue.

  Than Cecilia. Than Cecilia. Than Cecilia.

  I look at Cecilia in the same second. She sings like a goddess. I swallow hard and around the focus on the "C".

  - Cristina? - She does not answer.

  - Cristiane? - Anything.

  - Clotilde? Cintia?

  Anything.

  - Celina? Carolina? Camila?

  Anything.

  - There is Cecilia, right?

  - Chances exhausted. Zero hits. You failed, pal. - She calls for a "Fri on The Beach" and I am watching her. I said almost all the names with the letter C that I remembered, but still had one in my arsenal.

  - Cybele, I have not failed. I refuse to fail in anything whatsoever. I'm not a quitter.

  The waiter brings the drinks, and she watches me, while taking a sip of his drink.

  - All right, I accept that extra chance. You're right!

  She smiled and caught me staring at the stage, just to make sure that Cecilia is no longer there. When she finished the song without his melodic voice, my heart started to beat a few beats more per second.

  The rest of the evening was very pleasant. Cybele is a mulherão, those that look like a tornado as they go. All eyes are for her, she always seems to be filling the whole room with his sympathy.

  I accompany walk to her home because she lives close to where we were. Along the way, she tells me a little more about their life, their stories, their plans.

  When we arrived at the door of his house, I thought she would invite me in, but when she just gave me a peck and said he would need more than a half dozen bullshit on a date for me to take her to bed, I hope that at last I had found a woman who could regulate the beating of my heart, who were uncertain since Cecilia had left me.

  Once you get home, I take off my boots and my clothes. I put only a black shorts over the underwear and when I open the toothpaste cap, I hear the bell ring. I go to the door and am surprised to find Cecilia standing in the doorway, hugging, tears streaming down her face.

  - She actually died. - She throws herself into my arms and I get a few seconds without reaction. - My mother confirmed.

  Reliving all the pain of the loss is very difficult. Every fight, every endless sadness comes up and we need each other to survive this.

  She enters the house, and talked some more. I lay on my lap on the couch. His eyes are swollen, and I believe that my too. Sadness ends up leaving us exhausted, and soon dozed right there in the same position. Shortly after sunrise, we wake up. Cecilia tells me that Mari should be worried, so she had to go. I do not I said. If there is one thing I learned is that Cecilia always end up doing what he wants.

  I accompany to the door when Caetano approaches and tells the vet can not come to observe the horse arrematei at auction.

  Cecilia then asks what happened, and just say I bought a horse and I called the veterinarian to examine. She offers to take a look at it before you go, and I accept your help.

  When she enters the barn and look at the horse that needs care, it opens a smile that makes my legs loose.

  - You bought the horse?

  - You were so upset with the bad treatment he received from the former owner could not resist and I bought the horse - say, and she looks a few seconds for me until your eyes are glazed and then she passes out on the floor.

  I run to her and try to wake her at all costs. I go to the trough of the bay and with my hands to collect some water, so I go to her and play on his face what's left.

  She wakes up slowly and I stand by your side all the time, holding his hand.

  - I remembered you - she says, and for a few seconds, I had the hope that she had remembered everything.

  - I remembered both of us here in this bay. You and I ... we ... are ... well we did. - So I understand what she meant. She remembered having sex with me here. That should make me happy, or even excited, but no. Just remember a night of sex would not return to fall in love with me. Would not remember the reasons why she loved me. I would not change anything between us.

  - Glad you remembered. - It's all I say about it. - Listen, I need to sort some things out while you examine the horse. If you need anything, let Caetano, please. And do not forget to charge for this query, you must pay. - Then I turn around and get out of there as fast as I can.

  I can not get carried away by my love for her. I need to forget it, let suffocate her with this my feeling unrequited. I need to change my life, and now I knew exactly what I needed to get this change in my life. Or better, than not. From who.

  Chapter 27 - Cecilia

  I see Antonio rushed out of the bay and leave me alone with Caetano, could not understand his reaction. I remembered it, it was a good thing, no?

  - Need help?

  - No need, thank you. - Levanto floor and decide to work was the only thing I could do at the time, the one I remembered how.

  After a quick examination, I find that the horse was malnourished, their wounds were not as serious as well. Indicate the necessary treatment for Caetano and out of the barn, had no idea what time it was and my stomach was beginning to shake from hunger.

  - Ceci! - I hear a scream before being grabbed and practically thrown on the ground.

  - Hi, Alana, how are you? - I ask returning the embrace.

  - Okay, I'm going to train, I want to go with me?

  - Do not know! - Indecisive answer, the Antonio was angry with me and I did not stay long there.

  - Please feel more confident when you are with me.

  Just not resisting her request and accompany to the corral where she would train. Once the Princess was already better, she was training with it. As the two were friends, it was clear the interaction between the two
.

  I'm sitting on the fence while like an apple that Fatima brought to me. Every workout, Alana was better, and I knew I would win in its category.

  - Alana must go - talk down the fence, and it stops with the mare on my side.

  - You promise to come back later?

  - Promise.

  I take leave of it and go to the car. My desire was to lie down and curl up in a ball, the last hours had not been good for me.

  Upon arriving at the office, go to Mari room.

  - Where were you? I was really worried.

  - I talked to my mom yesterday, she confirmed the death of my daughter. - I sit in the chair across from her desk, coming to sit beside me.

  - How are you?

  - Rubbish. Have confirmation that killed me. So when you arrived and got the car and went to the only place I knew I would feel the same pain as me.

  - You sought Antonio?

  - I was just putting out on his lap and in the morning I had a memory, and he seemed to irritate. For the first time I remember him and he gets angry.

  - I'm sorry, friend. - She takes my hand and gives a comforting squeeze. - Can I do anything to help?

  - I think not. I do not know, I need to get used to the idea that I have a husband who can not remember a confused past and a missing lover.

  - And a nice doctor who is to you.

  - Yeah, that too. - I give a weak smile, and she laughs.

  - My friend, if I were you, care for the tasty, marked something and would have fun.

  - I'll think about it. What we have for today?

  - We have a farm to visit, the client said it is having problems with a bull.

  - Okay, I'll just change clothes and we can go.

  We arrived at the farm at the scheduled time and accompany the owner into an enclosure where some cows and a bull were. He starts to explain that lately the bull presents some problems.

  I'm distracted looking at a cow who appeared to be pregnant, when I hear a scream. I look toward the cry and see that Mari is running to the fence, along with the owner, I look at the other side and see the bull running.

  Without thinking twice, I run to the fence, he seems to notice me and makes a turn toward me, I try to run faster, but this seems to encourage.