Moore than a Feeling

by Julie A. Richman

  “Let me survey the damage.” He smiled and ruffled her hair as he got out of bed.

  “Nice ass,” she commented as he walked away.

  “Yours is pretty nice, too.” He surveyed the drawing. “Oh, this is easily fixable.”

  Sitting back down on the bed, he grabbed the eraser and began to work on the drawing.

  “Aiden, I’ve known you for years. We were together every day. How did I not know you have this insane artistic talent?”

  “I hadn’t picked up my pencils in years.” He smiled. “I started drawing again in the hospital after my third surgery. It was really therapeutic.” Putting the eraser down on the nightstand, he opened the tin and selected a pencil.

  “How many surgeries have you had?” The gap in her knowledge of his life over the past year and a half was sobering and painful. Suddenly she felt like they were strangers for the first time since he’d arrived back home.

  He looked up from the drawing. “Nine.”

  She just nodded. I don’t even know what happened to him. Was he alone? Was he with other members of his squad? Were they injured? Killed? What did he see out there? And can I ask him about it?

  “That was an easy fix. You didn’t do too much damage.” He looked up and smiled at her, holding the pad for her to see.

  I wish everything was such an easy fix, she thought.

  “Can’t even tell I cried on it.”

  Putting the pad in its rightful place on the nightstand, Aiden slipped back under the covers. “It’s almost two o’clock, but I am so jetlagged. I could definitely take another nap.”

  “That does sound like a good idea,” she agreed. “But first, can you hand me my phone? I need to text Billy and let him know you are home and okay, and I should let Mia know that I’m still alive.”

  Aiden is home. He was in LA doing a restaurant deal. We’ll come over later to see you. She knew Billy would be relieved to see the message.

  We? ☺

  We. ;-) See you later.

  And then to Mia, I have not been abducted by aliens. Aiden is back. He was in LA working on a restaurant deal.

  Breathing a sigh of relief. Glad he’s back and well.

  Taking the phone from her hand, he placed it back on the nightstand and pulled her into his chest.

  “This is so nice.” She settled her head into a comfortable spot.

  More than you will ever know, Angel.

  It was almost six o’clock by the time they’d showered and got dressed.

  “Where to first?” he asked.

  “Let’s save Billy for later so we can hang out. Are you up for dinner with Mia and the kids?”

  He was surprised by the warm feeling that spread over him from just the suggestion. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

  “Let me text Mia. See if they haven’t eaten yet.”

  Have you eaten? Want to do dinner with me and Aiden?

  Only if I don’t have to cook.

  “Mia doesn’t want to cook.” Holly looked up from her phone, smiling.

  “There’s comfort in knowing some things haven’t changed.” He laughed.

  “Should I tell her we’ll meet them at The ‘Tross?”

  The ‘Tross?

  A bay scallop salad. Say no more. Nathaniel is tying his shoes and then we’re out of here.

  LOL. Ok. Meet u there.

  “Okay, they’re leaving now and will meet us there.”

  “Hey, before we go.” He picked up the extra key from the counter and handed it to her. “Put this on your keychain.” And opened the door for her.

  As he turned away from locking the front door, he reached for her hand and led them down the slate path to the street. Seeing the emotional look on Holly’s face as she stepped onto the pavement, he asked, “What?”

  She looked down at their joined hands and he tightened his grip.

  “I’m still not totally convinced it’s not a mistake, that this is not the wrong thing to do to you.” He looked up to the sky and sighed. “But I’m happy when we’re together, and I’ve spent so much time not being happy that I don’t want to give this up again. I know that may be selfish, and if it is,” he looked her in the eyes, “I’m really sorry.”

  “Have you thought that maybe it’s not selfish, that maybe you’re happy because it’s right?”

  “Are you happy?” he asked.

  “Honestly?”

  “Yeah, honestly.” He stopped walking and faced her.

  “Honestly, I’m bouncing back and forth between ecstatically happy and scared shitless, without hitting any of the emotions in between. Just those two ends of the spectrum.”

  Pulling her to him for a hug, he whispered, “Angel, we’re on the same page.”

  “Please don’t let me go again.”

  “Not happening. I’m here for as long as you’ll put up with my shit.”

  Mia was out on the deck working when Holly got home the next morning.

  “Hey, there’s a fresh pot of coffee if you want some.”

  “You said the magic word. Do you want me to bring the pot out here to warm yours up?”

  “Yes, please,” Mia responded while looking at her computer screen and typing.

  Holly emerged with a mug for herself and the coffee pot, refreshing Mia’s cup before sitting down.

  “That was a nice dinner last night,” Mia commented, grabbing her coffee and sitting back in her chair.

  “It really felt like old times, didn’t it?”

  “It did, and it seemed seamless between the two of you. You both looked really happy.”

  Holly nodded, taking the first sip of her coffee and letting the caffeine dissipate the fog still hanging onto the edges of her mind. “I want to be with him more than anything,” she started. “But I also want to be realistic, because this whole thing might blow up in my face, so I think I have a healthy amount of skepticism, even though my heart wants nothing more than for us to be together.”

  “I think healthy skepticism is good.”

  “Me too. I worry… is this just a manic phase for him because some psychotropic drugs kicked in? How close is he capable of getting in a relationship, or will it end up being a fraction of what it was?”

  “I think those are all valid concerns.”

  “Or maybe I’m just being emotional?” she questioned.

  Shaking her head, Mia disagreed. “You’ve been deeply hurt. I don’t think it’s unusual to want to protect yourself.”

  “I really love him, Mia.”

  “I know, sweetie. And you know what? He really loves you, too. So, yes, there’s going to be bumps. Probably some bigger than average ones for you guys. But he is your love. And you are his. And nothing is ever going to change that.”

  Holly smiled at her stepmother. “He’s my Mia.”

  Flooded with the memory of meeting Mia for the first time, and seeing what her father looked like truly happy, was a moment in time Holly would never forget. That weekend was also her first time on Fire Island, she mused. Never did she ever think this beautiful sandbar would be more to her than a place where her father bought a beach house.

  “Yes, he is,” she agreed. “He’s your one.” Laughing at a memory, Mia added, “I remember the first time I realized he had a crush on you. But you were still seeing Jared back then, and I just remember Aiden looking at you like, I can’t get that girl off my mind.”

  Holly laughed, covering her face with her hands. “I totally didn’t see it and when I came out here that spring we got together, I asked him if I had a chance with him.”

  The sip of coffee Mia had just drank sprayed all over her keyboard as she began to laugh. “Oh, shit.” She grabbed a napkin and began mopping it up. “Did he laugh at you?”

  “I think he was too shocked to laugh.”

  “I bet he was, because I’m sure he never thought he’d have a chance with you and he was crazy about you from the start.”

  “I was always really intrigued by him. You know, he was a man, and I’d
only been with boys. And he was charming and flirtatious and had this kind of rough edge, but at the same time was so smooth. When he looked at me, I got this feeling that I’d never had before. I think I kind of got shy around him, because this man made me feel like I was the sexiest woman on the planet even though we weren’t having any provocative conversations or anything.”

  “He’s coming back, Holly. His journey may take a circuitous route, and it would be a mistake to put any kind of time limit on it, because his healing, and yours, for that matter, will come in their own time. But, mark my words, he is coming back to you. And honestly, as he heals, I don’t think anything could keep him away.”

  The front door to the place on Bayberry Walk was open when Schooner passed it on Thursday afternoon. He couldn’t remember ever seeing it open before and thought he’d check if anyone was inside. Slowly inching the wood door open created a sound that would have made a horror movie producer proud. Aiden was standing in the middle of the room and looked sharply at the door upon hearing the sound.

  “Aiden, so this is the place?” With the sun’s glare pouring in from the windows, Schooner wanted to make sure Aiden knew it was him if his face was in the shadows.

  “Schooner, hey. Yeah, this is the place.” He couldn’t contain his smile.

  Surveying the main room, Schooner took in the details. “I had no idea it had this vaulted ceiling. I just assumed there was an attic up there. It really opens the space. Wow. So, what are you thinking?”

  Uncrossing his arms, Aiden pointed to the long wall. “Bar the full length with a large, rectangular window centered that looks into the kitchen. That’s not a load-bearing wall, so I can do it. Kitchen and deep freeze taking up the entire length behind the wall. Restrooms and offices and storage back there. There’s a staircase at the back that leads to a small second floor. You know that second pitched roofline on the southeast corner, that’s where it is, and I’d put my private office up there.”

  “So, do you have everything in place to put this together?”

  “I’m working on it. I expect to get a draft of the contract within the next few days from the LA group.”

  “LA group?”

  It was clear from his response that Schooner didn’t know anything about his trip. “Did Mia or Holly mention that I was out in LA earlier this week with a restaurant group that has done this kind of concept?”

  When Schooner shook his head, Aiden realized he probably didn’t know about him and Holly either.

  “Cut a good deal?”

  “I think so.” Aiden felt pretty confident.

  “I’ve got great contract attorneys if you need someone to look over the paperwork.”

  “Oh, yeah, I’d really love to have your guys take a look at it.” It was for resources like that where he felt comfortable with Schooner’s offer. He knew at some point he would be asked the question, by someone, as to why he didn’t turn to Schooner for a partnership. But he knew the one person who would not be asking him the question was Schooner himself. He already knew the answer.

  “I’ll get you his number. Are you looking to be open for next summer?”

  Aiden nodded. “I can do a lot of the work myself, if I can get most of the materials out before late fall. It’s a totally enclosed structure. A lot of the guys who work out here, like Billy and Mikey and a couple of the other guys, all our families were in the trades, so electricians and plumbers and tile guys. I think the inspections will hold me up more than anything.”

  Schooner laughed, thinking of his own building and remodeling experience. “You’re probably right.”

  “I’ll show you some drawings I’ve put together. I’d love your feedback.”

  “Yeah, my pleasure. So, what are you calling the place?” Schooner asked, taking a last look around.

  “Acebo.” Aiden waited for a reaction.

  Schooner just nodded his head. “Acebo. Okay. Good name.”

  Aiden took a deep breath. Best he hear it from me, he thought. “And, Schooner, you kinda missed a watershed week here.”

  “Oh, yeah, what happened?”

  “Holly and I are back together.”

  Raising his eyebrows, he shook his head and waited a moment before speaking. “It appears I missed quite a bit this week. And I learn more from you than I do from either my wife or daughter.”

  “I’m sure Holly was just waiting for you to come out here to tell you everything in person. But I’m actually glad I had the opportunity to do it, and that you’re hearing it from me,” he paused. “I’m sure you have concerns. To be honest, I do, too. I’ve got a lot to deal with, but I love your daughter.”

  “Well, that’s something we certainly have in common.” And with a wave, Schooner turned and headed for the door.

  Walking out into the sunshine and onto Bayberry Walk, Schooner smiled and thought I like that guy, not even realizing he was thinking out loud.

  Stepping onto the deck where his wife and older daughter were stretched out on chaise lounges sunbathing, Schooner took a second to assess the waves and decided the surf was rough enough to be interesting, and after a chat with these two he was going to change into a bathing suit. The tide was coming in, the wind was stiff and steady, and the swells were calling to him.

  Lifting a wide-brimmed straw hat off Holly’s face, he looked down at his daughter. “I understand I missed a watershed week.”

  “Watershed week?” She was caught off guard and confused.

  “Yeah, watershed. That was Aiden’s word.”

  Snapping out of her fog, “You talked to Aiden?” Holly’s surprise was evident.

  “The front door to the Bayberry building was open, so I wandered in, and I found him there.”

  “So, what did he tell you?” she asked nervously.

  “Well, let’s see. That he met with people in LA who he’s going to partner with on the project. That the restaurant’s name is Acebo and that the two of you are back together. Did I miss anything?”

  “No. You’re pretty well caught up now.” She placed the hat back over her face.

  Shaking his head with a smirk, he lifted the hat. “We’ll talk more later.” And he put it back down covering her face.

  “I told him I’d put him in touch with my contracts people when he gets the paperwork in. I’ll rest easier knowing he’s protected in the deal.”

  “I wonder why he didn’t come to you to talk about a partnership,” Mia speculated.

  Schooner shook his head. “Not an option for him. And I respect that. He did the right thing and he’s going to do just fine. This is his deal. How he makes his mark.” There was respect in Schooner’s tone.

  Holly pulled the hat off her face.

  Looking over at his daughter, he added, “And he’s going to need to be a self-made man to take on this one. She’s pretty high maintenance.”

  “I am not,” protested Holly. “I think I’m pretty down to Earth.”

  “Yeah, for a rich girl you are,” Schooner agreed, with a smile. “But you’ve never been poor.” He gestured to the ocean right in their backyard. “Your family’s summer house is located on one of the most exclusive beaches in the United States, you have an Ivy League education. You grew up harborside in Newport Beach. The man’s going to need a lot of money to keep you.”

  Abruptly rising from the chaise lounge, she crushed the brim of the straw hat in her clenched hand. “Well, maybe if you’d sent me to Africa, I wouldn’t be so spoiled,” she screamed, storming off and slamming the french doors behind her with such force the glass panes rattled.

  “What the fuck?” Schooner looked at Mia in disbelief. “That was quite an overreaction.”

  “Wow.”

  “I’ll give her a few minutes to calm down and then I’ll go and talk to her.” Bending down to kiss his wife, “I didn’t even say hello to you, Baby Girl.”

  “It’s been quite a week.”

  Laughing, Schooner shook his head. “And just think, I come out here to relax.” He looked
at the ocean longingly, knowing he wouldn’t be getting in it soon enough.

  “And just think, this is the quiet time, before Natie and Po get home.”

  “Let me go change and talk to Holly because I want to get into that surf before those two bandits arrive.” As he walked toward the door, he stopped and turned to Mia. “And what is it with her and the Africa thing. This is the second time we’ve heard about it in the middle of a meltdown.”

  Mia shook her head. “I have no freaking idea.”

  Stopping off in the kitchen, Schooner grabbed two bottles of cold water and headed upstairs.

  “Hey, can I come in?” He knocked on Holly’s door. Entering he found her stretched out on the bed, pillow hugged to her chest.

  “Yeah.”

  Schooner sat down on the edge of his daughter’s bed. “You’ve had a pretty emotional week, huh?”

  She nodded, and he knew if she spoke, she would cry.

  “Are you happy about what happened this week?”

  “Very.” She nodded and took a deep breath before continuing. “I know we should be together. But I’m also scared. This is the guy who dumped me and broke my heart.”

  He loved that she was leading with a balanced combination of her head and her heart.

  “Building back trust takes time.”

  “Dad, I think I’m finally just starting to admit to myself what the last year and a half has done to me. I have been out of my mind, insane, crazy, and miserable.”

  “Come here.” He held open his arms and she sprang into them. Tightening his hug around his first born surfaced a thousand memories of comforting her throughout the years, from the loss of beloved pets to the antics of mean girls. He was the parent she ran to, and in whom she confided. “I know you feel like you’re on a rollercoaster that is speeding out of control.”

  “I do. I really do.” Her arms tightened around him. No one understood things like her father.

  “Okay, just remember, you have the ability to steer, brake, speed up, drive off the rails, if you want to. You have that control.”