Emma's Secret

by A. P. Jensen

  She shoved him back. “Why don’t you just find someone else?”

  “Because I want you! We click and damn it, you love me!” When Emma looked away, he grasped her chin and forced her to meet his burning eyes. “Don’t you?”

  “Leave me alone.”

  “I can’t. Even when we’re done here, I’m going to be on your doorstep, pounding on your door until you let me in.”

  He was breathing hard and his hands shook. She stared at him and her heart skipped a beat.

  “What do you want?” she whispered.

  He cupped the back of her head and held her still as his lips covered hers. He wrapped her up against him and she felt the urgency, frustration and temper in him. Her lips softened as his lips moved over hers. She opened her mouth and clutched the edges of his robe. Peter pulled away and dropped his head on her shoulder. He stayed that way for several minutes.

  “I want you.”

  His hands smoothed over her sides, gripped her hips and brought her flush against him. They both groaned.

  “We both had our secrets,” he murmured against her neck. “Now they’re gone and we can start over.”

  “I don’t see how-”

  Peter pressed his finger to her lips and raised his head. His eyes were narrow and bright. “You trust me with your body, but nothing else.” He ran his finger over her bottom lip. “You don’t play games and you love me. I was so pissed when you broke up with me. I care, Emma.”

  He shushed her when she tried to speak. His finger left a trail of fire in its wake as he ran it down her throat and between her breasts.

  “You’re not willing to take the chance because of Ben, but I won’t walk away. You handled the accident and the death of your parents alone. I want to be here for you. Let me.”

  Her heart pounded into overdrive. She gripped his shoulders as emotion kicked through her with the force of a shot of tequila.

  “I don’t have much left,” she whispered. “If this doesn’t work I-”

  Peter cupped her face. “I won’t fail this time.”

  Tears stung her eyes as he laid her in front of the fire. His hands were reverent and they trembled as they moved over her skin. He kissed his way down her body until he reached the heart of her. She twisted the soft rug beneath her and screamed. He slid into her as she climaxed. The firelight played over his skin as he moved over her. He thrust in and out of her and she felt the claim he was staking. She gave herself to him and prayed she wasn’t heading for more heartbreak.

  Emma stared into the flames. Peter trapped her legs with a heavy thigh and his arm draped over her waist. She knew he was awake, but neither of them spoke. She must have dozed off after the second climax because when she came to, she lay on a comforter and pillows from the bedroom. Sex with Peter short-circuited her brain. She wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

  Peter let her nap, fed her and seduced her again. Night fell and the only light came from the fire. Peter touched and kissed her as if he were starved for her. She felt consumed by him. Her lips were swollen and her body felt pleasantly used, but her mind ricocheted with conflicting thoughts.

  “It’s going to be okay, Emma,” Peter murmured.

  She took a deep breath. “I was driving that night.”

  Peter’s hand tightened on her hip. He didn’t interrupt or force her to face him. She never talked about the accident, but she felt compelled to tell him.

  “My parents were in the back seat. This guy had car trouble and had nowhere to pull off the road. I came around the corner and slammed on the brakes. The car behind rear ended us and we plowed into the car in front.” Her eyes blurred with tears, but she forced herself to finish. “My dad died instantly. My mom got thrown from the car. She had bits of the car door stuck in her.” She took a shaky breath. “I held her against me and told Ben to help me stop the bleeding.” She closed her eyes because the pain shredded her insides. “He said he couldn’t deal with it and walked away from me. I rocked my mom in my arms until she died. I checked the other cars. No one else survived.”

  Peter held her tight when she trembled. “It’s not your fault, Emma.”

  “I don’t know why we survived and no one else did,” she whispered.

  “It’s meant to be.”

  Her nails dug into the rug. “I never forgave Ben. I needed him and he just walked away from me. I thought he loved me and…”

  He ran his hands over her suddenly chilled skin. “You survived, Emma.”

  A tear trickled down her cheek. “If it hadn’t been for Anna, I don’t know how I would’ve made it through. I tried to move on and when the anniversary came around, you showed up and you wouldn’t leave me alone. Thank you for that.”

  “I wish I’d known.”

  She turned in his arms and placed her hands over his heart. “If this doesn’t work out-”

  “It will.”

  “If you want out-”

  “Emma, shut up.”

  He pushed her onto her back and kissed her tears away. He worshipped her body and when she screamed his name, he slid into her and met her eyes.

  “Trust me this time,” he whispered.

  She kissed him and he took over the edge. Nightmares didn’t intrude when she fell asleep in his arms.

  For the next two weeks, they were inseparable. The tension in the cabin disappeared overnight. For the first time, Emma felt truly at ease with Peter. They fell into a routine. They woke up and took care of business in the morning before they walked along the cliff or down to the beach. Peter enjoyed feeding her and took advantage of the time to break the invisible barriers between them and learn how she liked her coffee and what her favorite flower was. Emma was cautiously beginning to hope that this could work.

  “Would you consider moving to the city?” Peter asked one night when they lay in bed.

  Emma stiffened in surprise. “What?”

  “You want to see more of me, right?”

  “I guess,” she said and yelped when he bit her. “Okay, yes.”

  “I want you to move in with me.”

  “I don’t think I want to move to the city,” she said warily.

  “Okay, then I’ll move in with you.” It was what he’d been hoping for anyway.

  “What?”

  “We’ve been together for over a year.”

  “Yes, but-”

  “This is the next step in our relationship. I have the penthouse downtown, but I like your house. I’m going to be there every weekend.”

  “You don’t know that,” she said, forcefully reminded of his broken promises from the past. “Shouldn’t we ease back into being a couple?”

  “No, we’re over a year into our relationship. It’s time for some kind of commitment, right?”

  “I don’t need-”

  “Fine, I need a commitment. I told you I was going to change my work schedule and work on my new goals.”

  “And what are your new goals?”

  “To have a life with you outside of the office. We should come here more often. I’ve never done this kind of stuff before. Derek and Tommy were the first people that believed in me, that expected me to go further than I thought possible. I built up an empire so I’d have something no one could take away from me. It’s built and now I can figure out what else I want.” He looked down at her body. “I definitely want you, so I’ll focus on you and see where we go from there.”

  “Peter, you’re so romantic.”

  “I’ll work on it.” He slapped her butt when she tried to muffle her giggles. “This time, you’ll tell me what you need, right?”

  Another butt slap before she said, “Yes, sir.”

  “I like the sound of that,” he growled and pounced on her.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “I can’t believe it’s over,” Emma said as she leaned back against Peter.

  He wrapped his arms around her and she saw Seattle rise out of the fog as the ferry approached. It felt as if they’d been gone for a year rat
her than a month. Being around all these people after being isolated for so long was overwhelming.

  “We’ll come back soon,” Peter said.

  She felt great. She felt rested and… content? She was ready to go back to work and she believed Peter changed. He spent a month with her at the cabin, which shocked the hell out of her. More stunning was the fact that he’d actually enjoyed himself, but they were both ready to go back to work. A tiny voice inside of her murmured, Now we’ll really see if anything’s changed.

  “Are you sure you can come this weekend? We both have a lot to catch up on,” she hedged.

  “I’ll be there Friday,” he said firmly.

  She was tempted to pursue the issue, but when he shot her a chiding look, she subsided. The ferry docked and Peter kept her hand twined in his when they disembarked. He reluctantly walked her to the hotel parking lot where she left her car. She leaned back against the driver’s door and he caged her in.

  “Do you have to go back right now?”

  “Yes.”

  He groaned. “You’re a hard ass.”

  She grinned, feeling more lighthearted than she had in years. She liked the new bantering between them. Before, they’d always been too busy trying to be cool with one another to laugh. The time they spent together in Victoria created this new intimacy between them that infected her with hope for their future together.

  Peter kissed and tucked her into the car. She honked and wove her way out of Seattle, mind sifting through her trip with Peter. He promised things would be different and she wanted to believe him. A niggle of doubt rose. Would their bond last in the real world with distance, distractions and business? Were they on the same page now or was this a temporary fix? Today was Saturday- they had six days away from each other before he was supposed to come back to Bellingham. That was six days for him to go back to his real life and put her in second place again.

  She pushed all of that to the side. There was nothing she could do about that. Only time would tell and she promised him she would try. By the time she reached Bellingham, she was ready to see her house and sleep in her own bed. Although she felt as if she’d gone through a life changing experience, everything looked the same, which was comforting. She carried her bags into the house, started a load of laundry and ordered a pizza.

  Her cell rang and she hesitated. “Hey, Anna.”

  “Are you home?” Anna’s voice was unnaturally high.

  “Yes. What’s-”

  “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

  The line went dead. She stared at the phone for a second, but decided that the sooner they talked, the better. She hadn’t talked to Anna since she confronted her friend about telling Peter her secret. She couldn’t be too mad at Anna since everything worked out with Peter, but what it if hadn’t? Emma accepted the steaming pizza from the delivery guy and headed into the kitchen. She heard Anna’s key in the lock a moment before the front door banged open. Emma walked into the living room with a frown on her face. Anna’s purse drooped from one shoulder and she held a grocery bag filled to the brim with rectangle boxes. She was milk pale and the shirt she wore gaped because she hadn’t buttoned it correctly.

  “What’s wrong?” Emma demanded.

  Anna looked as if she were fighting tears. “Do you hate me?”

  “No. You were right, I should have told him. Are you okay?”

  Anna burst into tears and threw herself into Emma’s arms.

  “I just wanted to help,” Anna sobbed.

  Emma patted her back. “You did. I have to thank you-”

  “No!” Anna jerked away and threw herself on the couch. “Don’t thank me. I shouldn’t be in anyone’s business, as Tommy likes to tell me.”

  Emma perched near Anna who clutched the grocery bag to her chest like a Bible. “Anna, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

  Anna turned tear-drenched eyes on her. “Do you forgive me?”

  “Of course. I just needed time. What’s going on? You look horrible.”

  “The day you left, Tommy and I got into a huge fight.”

  “You and Tommy?” Emma couldn’t believe it. They were the perfect couple. “What did you guys fight about?”

  “His socks,” Anna wailed.

  “Socks?”

  “He doesn’t fold them!” Anna snapped and began to pace, still clutching the grocery bag. “He said if he doesn’t fold his socks that’s his choice and I said, ‘Oh no it’s not! If you don’t fold your socks, you can move into a different bedroom.’”

  Emma blinked and cleared her throat. “I don’t understand.”

  Anna didn’t even hear Emma. Her eyes were wild as she stomped around the living room. This was so out of character for Anna that Emma stared in amazement.

  “I don’t know what came over me. I started ripping his socks out of the drawer and throwing them in the guest bedroom. He asked if I was having my period and I went berserk. I grabbed all his clothes and threw them in the guest room too. He left the house and didn’t come back for two days!”

  “Oh my God,” Emma said.

  “I came home from work and he’s sitting at the table drinking a beer as if he never left. I tried to apologize, but he didn’t want to hear it. He said I’m a controlling workaholic. Whenever I try to talk to him, he tells me to go back to the bakery. Tommy’s been living in the guest bedroom for over a month. He goes to work and stays out all night.”

  Anna shook uncontrollably. Emma wrapped an arm around her friend and felt like crap for not talking to her.

  “This was just a stupid fight,” Emma soothed. “You guys can work it out.”

  “No, we can’t,” Anna said in a muffled voice. “He said he wants a divorce.”

  “Over socks? He can’t do that. You guys are made for each other.”

  Anna let out a weary laugh. “Apparently not. I’ve been having this crazy mood swings and-”

  “Well, yeah! Oh my God, you should have told me to get my ass back!”

  Anna held up a hand. “No, you needed your time and I can handle this, but today I thought of something.”

  Anna took a deep breath and jiggled the grocery bag. A pregnancy test fell to the ground and Emma screamed.

  “You’re pregnant?” she shouted, overjoyed and scared to death.

  “I don’t know!” Anna screamed back.

  She dropped the bag. Pregnancy tests from every brand known to man streamed over Emma’s floor.

  “Have you taken one yet?” Emma demanded, grasping Anna’s shoulders.

  “No! I couldn’t do it alone. I need you here.”

  “I’m here. You can do this.”

  It took Emma thirty minutes to get Anna to take the test. She wrung her hands outside the bathroom door, trying to come to grips with everything. Anna and Tommy, the ideal couple, were on the verge of divorce and Anna could be pregnant. She could be an aunt. Emma had to sit on the bed because she was suddenly overwhelmed. Anna came out of the bathroom and they sat on Emma’s bed, hands clasped as they stared at the pregnancy test on the counter.

  “Everything’s going to be okay,” Emma whispered.

  “Is it?” Anna whispered.

  “It is! You know why? Because I’m here and Tommy loves you.”

  “You don’t see the way he looks at me,” Anna moaned.

  “You didn’t see the way Peter looked at me when I pushed him away. It gave me nightmares.”

  Hope lit Anna’s eyes. “Are you two…?”

  Emma couldn’t stop the smile, despite Anna’s despair. “We are.”

  Anna squeezed her hands. “I knew it. Peter’s so in love with you. He wasn’t going to let you go.”

  “He doesn’t love me,” Emma corrected. “He cares for me.”

  “Emma,” Anna gave her a reproachful look. “Would a guy who cares for you go this far?”

  “He’s an overachiever.”

  “He loves you,” Anna said firmly. “I can see it. That’s why I told him.”

  “It�
�s time,” Emma broke in. “Are you ready?”

  “No.”

  “Do you want to be pregnant?” Emma asked gently.

  Anna started to cry again. “No! He said he doesn’t want to be tied to me. Never once in our marriage has he mentioned kids! Never!”

  So it wasn’t just her and Peter that had their guards up. “And you’ve always wanted kids.”

  “Eventually,” Anna admitted. “But, I wasn’t going to ask him if I could go off birth control. If he wanted a kid with me, he would have brought it up, right? Right?”

  Emma held her hands up. “Maybe you aren’t pregnant. We have to look.”

  “Okay, you do it. I don’t think I can walk.”

  Emma’s heart pounded as if this were her own test. She stopped in the doorway of the bathroom for a long minute before she went over to the counter and read the tiny letters. She turned to Anna.

  “It’s positive.”

  Anna surged up from the bed and snatched the test. “This has to be a mistake!” Her eyes wide with fear. “This can’t happen. I’m not ready. I’m getting divorced.”

  “You’re not divorced yet. Your hormones were crazy because you’re pregnant. Tommy can’t hold that against you.”

  Anna grasped Emma by the shoulders and shook her. “I don’t want Tommy to stay with me just because of the baby! And I can’t be a mother, I’d turn into mine and I can’t stand her. I’m on the pill. You can’t get pregnant while you’re on the pill, right?”

  “I-” Emma twisted her hands together. “I’m not sure.”

  “I’m going to be the worst mother ever! I’m gonna be too controlling just like Tommy says.”

  Anna crumpled dramatically to the floor. Worried for the baby, Emma put her arms around her friend and led her to the bed.

  “Anna, pull yourself together. Maybe it’s wrong. Let’s take another one.”

  “Will you take one for me?” Anna pleaded. “If yours is negative, I’ll know I’m really pregnant.”

  “I don’t know,” Emma said uneasily.