Mind and Flesh

by 8Loki

  Shit, without water it is painful I can’t manage it. After trying multiple times, I finally store enough saliva to get it down. Fuck and it still hurts. And that fucking noise! Stop it!

  I focus on the people in front of me to lead me out. I am in no shape to think. There is only pain.

  Once we reach the ground floor, we exit the building and assemble in the open area in front of the entrance. This is a huge relief, as the sound is not as deafening outside. And the pill is finally showing an effect, my head feels lighter.

  Suddenly, a lot of people shouting and pointing. There is smoke coming from the upper floors, probably the sixth floor. It is too dense to distinguish exactly from which window it is emanating. There are some biology and chemistry labs here. Shit, I hope it’s only a fuck up from the biologists. A fire or an explosion in a chemistry lab would be much more dangerous, and it could blow my machine up with the rest of the building. Shit shit shit!

  In about a few minutes, the firemen are already there. I see them talking with someone near the entrance, while a few of them are going inside. This seems serious. I get more and more anxious about what could happen to my machine. Then as the fire engine starts to deploy a ladder, the person from the entrance raises a megaphone and his voice rises over all the people outside commenting the scene, “There is a fire on the sixth floor, it is in the offices and the firemen should be able to contain it before it spreads to the labs. However, the building will be closed until further notice.”

  Someone nearby exclaims “What? So we can just go home? But my keys are still up there in my handbag!” Instinctively, I reach to my pockets and feel a relief that everything is in place.

  A fire in the office area should not reach the labs if the blast doors closed properly. I am still worrying about the machine, I hope that they will contain the fire like he said. What if the fire is not stopped… What if my machine burns… No… Fuck!

  Could I just go and pick the machine up? All the alternate exits do not open from the outside. I inspect the main entrance. Some employees from the institute and some firemen are there and will probably keep guard until the end of the operations. They will not let me in. Shit shit shit, how can I protect my machine?

  The only thing that I can do is to stand there and watch until I can make sure that the fire does not spread to my floor or cause a fucking explosion. Then if they reopen the building at some point, I will check if my machine is still intact. Fuck, this is annoying. Whoever is responsible should burn with it.

  Anxious, I wait. Every minute is a torture.

  ***

  I open the door of my apartment. I am exhausted, I have been lurking around the institute for almost a full day. I stopped being worried sick when they confirmed that the fire was put out and that it didn’t reach any lab. However, they closed the building off until tomorrow for cleaning and investigation. Being unable to access my machine is a terrible feeling. It has been my lifeline all along. I cannot wait to check on it and see that it nicely stayed in place.

  I wonder what the female me was up to for the whole day. I close the door and lock it, then look for her in the small apartment. She is not there. I glance at my watch. Perhaps she already went to grab some food. I am not hungry. Being worried about my machine took away my appetite.

  I settle on the chair in front of the laptop and turn it on. I check the news, maybe they say something about the fire. Apparently not. Or not yet. Well then, until she comes back I will just read new publications about neuronal mapping. I need to keep gathering knowledge about the brain areas responsible for some of our basic instincts. Then if I can make the algorithm detect and suppress the influence of lust, greed, power, violence and so on, I will hide the algorithm in the code of the machine for when it gets deployed on a large scale. This will prove complicated to achieve. Deleting the memory of the rape was much easier, because she just had to think of it and ask the machine to analyze which neurons talked together to recall the memory. Much easier than creating an algorithm that can simultaneously work with any human brain and make the decision alone on which area to single out as the one responsible for…

  BAM. A very loud cracking noise. Fuck, what is that?

  My entrance door is blasted open!

  Men dressed in black enter. Masks. Rifles. Shit!

  They quickly get around me, aiming at me with their weapons.

  Those guns are fucking scary! A pull on the trigger and I would die. My heart is beating insanely fast.

  One of them yells at me “Hands up! Hands up!”

  Shit shit shit… I execute his order and raise my shaking hands.

  What the fuck is going on? Is this for real?

  One of them grabs my arms and forcefully presses them against my back.

  I get handcuffed.

  If my heart keeps beating faster, it will die from exhaustion.

  Suddenly a black cloth covers my face

  Something tight is wrapped in front of where my mouth is.

  I can’t do anything… My heart is exploding…

  They are touching me… I lose balance!

  They are holding me horizontal and moving.

  I feel so powerless. Like a turtle on its back. Even worse, I am not struggling. And here I thought that I started to be back in power. I thought that I was able to kick life back. What now? Completely at the mercy of those men.

  They are throwing me in a car. I still feel hands holding me tight. The engine starts and we are on the move.

  Is this even real? My heart is beating too fast, I can feel its pressure thumping in my ears. My head is starting to hurt. This cannot be real. I am in a nightmare.

  What are they going to do, bring me to the king of the rabbits and have me sentenced? Or to the king of the pigs?

  There will be a huge trial. In the assembly, rabbits and pigs, all fornicating together. On the back, there will be geese with tubes in their throat, feeding them the semen of the other animals. The queen of the pigs will be consoling the king of the pigs in her arms. His throat slit, he will be dripping blood on her. The judge will be magnificent, above everyone else in the middle of the room. It will be my wife. She will be dressed in a rabbit costume. She will open her head and show that there is nothing left inside. She will say that I stole her brain. She will condemn me, the king of the rabbits, to death. For I am the one that fornicated and murdered.

  They are now driving me to my death. To the executioner, the only animal capable of more cruelty than me.

  My heart has calmed down. I am more peaceful now that I am resigned. After all, death is the end of all things. I will not have anything left to worry about. No reason to run. Nothing to hide, my mind will be naked and there will be no body to shackle it.

  The vehicle stopped. I feel carried and moved again. I will soon meet my executioner.

  The sound of the footsteps is different. We must have entered a building.

  I am pushed to sit on a chair. I comply and take position. They tie me to the chair.

  The cloth is taken off my head and I face him.

  The government guy.

  His face and smile have been haunting me. However, he is not smiling now.

  Neither are the two goons on each side of him. I think that they are the same ones that escorted me out of the hospital when I was my wife. The ones that saw me peeing myself. This time, I will not give them the pleasure of this sight.

  “I am not happy,” says the government guy. Neither am I, asshole. “I thought I could trust you this time.”

  “I don’t know what you mean. Why am I here?” I answer very calmly. I am not afraid of him anymore.

  “And you are playing dumb! You really think that you can fool me.”

  I have not done anything wrong, so I guess that this must not be real. Still having a nightmare.

  I look at the desk between him and me. Then I watch him in the eyes and say “Do you see this pen?”

  “Who cares about this pen?”

  “I want you t
o put it up your ass.”

  I smile as he takes a shocked expression and the two goons look at each other with concern.

  His features then go back to a smile. “You don’t want to cooperate. Actually, this is fine, because it leads to the part that I enjoy the most.”

  He laughs as he takes off the jacket part of his suit and neatly places it on a chair. He then removes his tie, and puts it on top of the suit. He moves behind me, swiftly puts his hand behind my head and…

  PAIN

  HE FUCKING SLAMMED MY HEAD AGAINST THE TABLE!

  Fuck fuck fuck this is definitively not a dream. It hurts for real.

  He pulls my hair and moves my head close to his.

  “See? We are going to have a lot of fun together.”

  I want to punch him and break his fucking teeth, then stick his tongue out until I can tear it off.

  “What have I ever done to you?” I ask.

  He reaches in his pocket and produces a small contraption. I have already seen that somewhere…

  “You removed our tracking device from the machine so you could take it away. Did you think that we are stupid and we wouldn’t notice? Our agent found the tracking device in the garbage bin. Where is the machine?”

  What the fuck? So this little thing that I threw away was tracking where the machine was all along? So he really does know everything that I have been doing… Still, I just threw this away, but I did not move the machine. “I did not move the machine. It’s in my fucking lab.”

  PAIN

  He slammed my head again! Fuck, fuck! What is wrong with that asshole!

  “You are a funny guy, aren’t you?” he says between his teeth.

  He knocks on the door. A man in a black uniform opens the door and salutes him.

  “Tie him up in the next room,” he orders him.

  Two black masked men enter the room and untie me from the chair.

  This is my chance! I get up and rush to the door.

  A knee violently hits me in the stomach. Can’t breathe!

  They drag me to the next room. I am not running anymore. I let them drag me as I painfully try to fill my lungs with air.

  They remove my clothes. Fuck no!

  I struggle.

  I get hit in the stomach again. It hurts. I bend over. They forcefully remove everything. I am completely naked. No… I feel so vulnerable…

  They pull me upwards legs first. The government asshole straps me to some sort of inclined table.

  My head is down. I feel blood rushing down. Shit, this is not good. My penis is retracted and dangling against my skin, and my testicles are also pulled down by gravity.

  Shit I am so useless. Powerless.

  The rabbit is dressed. Naked without its fur. Gutted. A hanging carcass. Dogs are already eager to eat the rabbit, wetting their lips with their tongue. They are touching themselves, reveling in the view of their prey at their mercy. The king of the dogs howls with glee, for he is the wolf. No rabbit can escape the wolf.

  I shake my head to leave the state of daze I was in. The government guy signs the black masked men to leave the room. He is alone with his two goons.

  Now that he removed his suit and my head is lower, I see that he has a gun in a holster. I look at the two goons. I can also make out the shape of their guns below the suits. Shit. Shit.

  I can’t leave this place by force. I can only try to talk him out of this. “The fuck are you doing? Physically assaulting someone? Is it really worth it?”

  “You have no right to complain, you murderer,” he answers while bringing a table with equipment closer.

  “You know what I have been doing. You could have stopped me at any time. Is that legal not to stop me? And then to physically harm me?”

  “Who cares about what is legal or not as long as I have the power to make it happen.”

  “You should be ashamed of yourself. You are representing the government.”

  “And do you think that the government is a benevolent entity? Come on, don’t make me laugh. Now, tell me where the machine is.”

  “I already fucking told you, it’s in my lab!” I scream, desperately. Why does he keep asking the same question? I have not done anything!

  He laughs and puts a cloth on my face.

  FUCK! He punched me in the stomach, fucking asshole.

  Need to take my breath. What the fuck? Water is being poured on me! The cloth is taking it all in! Can’t breathe!

  Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I am drowning fuck fuck fuck TAKE THAT OFF ME

  I am drowning! My heart is pounding my chest, my mouth is opening like crazy to find some air but there is only water fucking shit I am drowning! AIR, I NEED AIR!

  Then suddenly, I can breathe again. I spit out water. Alive. Air filling my lungs. He removed the cloth and stopped the water.

  Fucking shit…

  I look at them. The asshole is grinning at me, while the two others are just looking with a serious face. Can’t they see that this is wrong? “Help me. Stop him.” I implore them.

  They exchange a brief glance, and then look away from me. What kind of monster stands still while someone is being tortured by a maniac?

  My head is being hammered! Fucking asshole! Wait no, he is not doing anything. Shit fucking headache, now at all times!

  It hurts! It fucking hurts!

  “Pill!” I shout. “Give me a pill for the pain! In my pocket! Please!”

  It hurts. Fuck!

  They are all just looking at me. The government asshole starts to laugh.

  Fuck!

  My head feels like it is being compressed in order to squeeze out my brain.

  “What is it that you want!” I scream. “Why can’t you live me alone?”

  It fucking hurts! It burns inside!

  “I already told you,” he answers. “I negotiated a juicy contract for mass production of the machine. The defense contractor I work for will richly reward me.”

  “Wait… Don’t you work for the government?” The pain is killing me. So hard to focus.

  “Technically, it is about the same. It depends what the official title is, of course. But at the end of the day, money and power are shared by the same people. Thanks to your machine, I will have a lion’s share of both. It is funny, because if you had been nice with me at the very beginning and cooperated fully, you would have had your own share. Look at you now. You are getting nothing. You are not very visionary, for a brilliant scientist. Now, tell me where the fuck did you hide the machine?”

  I need to focus. I need to calm down. Distract myself from the pain. The machine. “So you have looked in the lab? Is it not here anymore?”

  “I see that you are still trying to be funny,” he replies. “Well, it is fine, I can also be funny.”

  I feel him getting closer to me, but it is hard to make out exactly what he is doing. My eyes keep squinting as if I was trying to expunge the pain.

  Suddenly, I feel something touching my anus.

  Entering it.

  FUCK! “TAKE THAT AWAY!”

  “Wait,” he jubilates, “that was just the first step.”

  Then I hear the water running again. And I feel it filling my ass. Entering my bowels.

  “FUCKING ASSHOLE! STOP! STOP!”

  This feeling is disgusting me. My body is uncontrollably shaking. My head hurts! I can’t take it anymore!

  ***

  I am lying on a table.

  My hands are tied to the table.

  I look around.

  Monstrous faces. They are grinning.

  Neither animal nor human.

  Big round eyes.

  Big teeth of all shapes and sizes.

  Their mouths open and their tongue quickly moves right and left without stopping.

  They are disgusting.

  I ask them to go away.

  Their heads are getting bigger and bigger.

  I am getting scared. I try to leave the table but I can’t move.

  The faces are getti
ng closer to me.

  I struggle to escape.

  They are starting to lick me.

  No! Get away!

  They bite me.

  It hurts! Leave me alone!

  They are chewing on my flesh.

  I am panicking. My heart is beating faster and faster.

  One of them bites my dick off.

  I want to scream but I can’t move.

  His tongue transforms into a penis.

  He moves it left and right in his mouth.

  His penis tongue enters my ass.

  My heart wants to explode.

  He ejaculates in my ass.

  My cheek hurts. Someone is slapping them. I open my eyes. I am still upside down. Disgusting feeling near my butt cheeks. Water pouring down my asshole. My dick dangling and all wet. My bowels feel bloated. That fucking face that I hate in front of me.

  He ejaculated in my ass. I think. My ass is wet. I am not sure if it happened or not. What is going on?

  “You are very resilient,” he comments. “You know, I like doing that. Serving my country feels really good. But still, in the end, it can’t just be all fun and games. I also need to find out what I was looking for. So I will have to up my game next. I sent for your sister.”

  What? My sister? No!

  “FUCKING ASSHOLE DO NOT LAY A FINGER ON HER!”

  “See? I was right to think that she would be useful. She is already getting you riled up.”

  The two goons are looking at each other intently, and the government asshole is right up into my face, with a forced smile. I need to think. He wants the machine. He got the tracker, so they were in my lab, they would have seen the machine if it was there. I am not the one that moved it, so maybe my colleagues or…

  One of the two goons suddenly puts a hand up to his forehead as he squints. His other hand is looking for something in his pocket.

  The government guy turns towards his goon. I see him tensing up. His face is not smiling anymore. As the goon takes a pill out of his pocket, the government guy looks at me, then at his colleague again.

  Quick as a feline, he moves away from me and grabs his gun. The goon that did not move also lunches for his gun. He gets shot. Some blood sprays on the wall behind him, and he falls backwards.

  The second goon that was looking for his pill is now looking bemused. The government asshole shoots him multiple times. He drops down on his knees, and then face first against the floor.