Radio Gaga

by Nell Dixon

  Shelly followed me into the lounge. “Who was the yummy guy who passed me in the hall, on his way to the upstairs flat?”

  I carefully dried my eyes trying not to smear the remains of my mascara. “Ben, moved in today. That’s all I know.” I added the last bit before she could start interrogating me.

  “Nice.” She moved my empty wrappers and the Pringle tube from the sofa and took a seat. “It feels roomier in here without Darth Vader.”

  I perched myself on the edge of the armchair opposite my friend. Shelly looked as if she was dressed for a night on the town. Her generous form had been squeezed into her favourite black mini skirt and a cerise pink top.

  “Have you got a date?” She was wearing her fake Louboutin pulling shoes.

  “No, I thought I might go to Crush later and see who was there.”

  Crush was the new ‘in’ bar in the town centre. Neil had always been rather sniffy about it so I’d never been. If he’d ever taken me anywhere it was to some pseudo-posh restaurant to impress a client. I suspect we only went there because he could claim the cost back on expenses.

  “Go and get dolled up and come with me.”

  “I don’t know if I feel up to it tonight. Merv the Perv rang earlier and I’ve got a press call at nine tomorrow.”

  “You don’t want to stay in here all on your own brooding,” she wheedled, trying her best puppy dog eyes look on me.

  “I know, but I don’t want a picture of me looking like death on a stick all over tomorrow’s paper either.” I wouldn’t have minded going somewhere, but maybe more for a quiet drink at the pub rather than a trendy pulling bar.

  “What’s Merv signed you up for now anyway?” Shelly asked.

  “Charity abseil down the castle walls.” I mumbled my reply knowing what her response would be.

  “A what?” She stared at me, her eyes round with disbelief.

  “An abseil, for charity at the castle.”

  “But you don’t like heights. You went all peculiar when we went to the pantomime with the school when we were in year nine and they gave us seats up in the Gods at the theatre.”

  “I know. I didn’t have much choice, thanks to dear Steph, they’ve already publicised it and started taking donations.”

  Shelly’s expression became even more sympathetic. “I might have known the heavy hand of Steph would be all over this idea.” She picked at a flaky bit of bright pink nail polish on the edge of her thumb. “Seriously though Chloe, what are you going to do? You have trouble standing on a chair to change a lightbulb.”

  “I’m not sure. I’ve got no choice but to go ahead.”

  “Oooh!” Shelley wriggled forward in her seat, her eyes shining. “I know, I’ve still got those tranquillisers the doctor prescribed for me last year to help me relax when I had to fly to the States. You could take one of those.”

  Shelley continued to beam at me.

  “I dunno, Shel, I’m pretty rubbish with tablets. Remember when I took that cold remedy stuff and didn’t wake up for two days.”

  She gave me a hard stare. “These things are mild, a baby could take them. It’ll make you relax a little bit and stop you from panicking.”

  I wasn’t one hundred per cent convinced but I had to do something. Every time I thought about Merv’s plan I broke into a cold sweat. “Okay, I’ll give them a go.”

  “I think they’re a tiny bit out of date so they probably aren’t as strong as it says on the pack anyway.” She delved inside her handbag.

  “You’re still carting them around with you?” I don’t know why I asked. Shelley’s bag was the size of a small suitcase. If she’d produced an aspidistra in a pot out of it like Mary Poppins I wouldn’t have been surprised.

  “Got them.” She produced a squashed and battered small white cardboard packet from her bag.

  “Are you sure these are okay for me to take?” I took the packet from her and tried to decipher the faint writing on the label.

  “Yes, you just take one about thirty minutes before you’re due to hop over the wall and you’ll be as right as rain.”

  Shelly made hopping over the wall sound like a casual stepping over a stile kind of thing. I hadn’t been to the castle for years but I vaguely recalled the keep being pretty high.

  “Anyway, now you’re sorted with the happy tabs what are we going to do tonight?”

  I’d hoped Shelly might have forgotten about going out. I was hardly in the mood to go painting the town red. “I don’t know Shel, I don’t feel much like hanging out at a bar tonight.”

  “How about a film instead then?” She picked up the local free paper which lay abandoned on the floor next to the sofa. She opened it up and started to read out the options.

  “Attack of the Deadly Spiders in 3D, ugh, no thanks. Romantic comedy with Jennifer Aniston, oh we saw that last week. Um, Tigger, Pooh and Roo, cartoon.” She sighed and threw the paper down in disgust. “There’s never a good film on when you want one.”

  “We could just stay in and get a takeaway,” I suggested.

  “It’s Friday night, we’re young, attractive, single,” Shelly protested.

  “If we’re so fabulous, then why are we still single?” I picked up the newspaper and went to straighten it out.

  “Woah, wait, what’s that?” Shelly snatched it back from me and jabbed a pink fingernail at the centre of the events page. “There: a psychic fayre with renowned medium Rosemary Stravers, it’s on tonight.”

  Sometimes I wondered why Shelly and I were still friends. “Why would we want to go to a psychic fayre? I mean, what do you do there?” A quick glance at the page told me the fayre – with a y - was at the Dog and Duck, a large pub a little over a mile from my flat.

  “My cousin Shannon went to one a few weeks ago, she said it was fab. People read your fortune and there are lots of cool things for sale like Tarot cards and crystals.” Shelly was virtually vibrating with excitement. “And the renowned medium, Rosemary whatsherface can tell us if we’re going to meet a bloke. A decent bloke.”

  I mentally weighed up my options, an evening in with Shelly sulking while we stared at a repeat of some crap film, or a night at the Dog and Duck with a bunch of lovelorn psychic whack-jobs. Neither option particularly appealed even if I had never heard of Rosemary Thingy.

  “Give me five minutes then to get changed.” I resigned myself to the inevitable.

  Shelly bounced out of her seat to give me another bone-crushing hug. “You won’t regret it. It’ll be fun.”

  Half an hour later we managed to snag the last free space on the car park of the Dog and Duck and I already regretted agreeing to come.

  “Blimey, it’s busy.” I hadn’t realised psychic fayres were so popular.

  Shelly hopped out of the car and closed the passenger door. “I told you, it’ll be fun. It’s got to be better than sitting at home like a couple of miserable old biddies.” She hoisted her over-sized handbag onto her shoulder and set off on her fake heels across the car park towards the entrance of the pub. I followed, somewhat more slowly, in her wake.

  As I parted with my twenty pounds entrance fee, which included a fifteen minute reading with one of the fayre’s psychic mediums, I had a momentary panic and wondered if I did want to know my future. After all, what if I was told I was destined to stay single playing second fiddle to Steph at the radio station for the rest of my life?

  The psychic fayre was being in held in one of the Dog and Duck’s function rooms. I’d been there once before to an eighteenth birthday party. All around the room were various stalls selling everything from Angel cards to incense sticks while the mediums appeared to be occupying a row of tables at the far end.

  “I’m not sure I want to do this. What if they tell me something bad?” I whispered, tugging at the sleeve of Shelly’s top to drag her attention away from a display of waving cat ornaments which promised to bring good fortune to their owners.

  “Oh don’t be daft. It’s just a bit of fun and anyway they might
tell us something great, like I’m going to marry Justin Timberlake and you’re going to win the lottery.”

  I couldn’t see either of those events being likely to figure in our future as we made our way to the tables where the mediums were working. We handed over our tickets to the woman in charge of allocating the appointments and took a seat on one of the empty chairs. I couldn’t see anyone who resembled the blurry gray picture of Rosemary Doo-dah that had been on the advert. Then I noticed a door with a sign bearing the legend;

  ‘Rosemary Stravers – appointments only £50’

  Rosemary was clearly in a different league to her compatriots.

  The other mediums didn’t look very scary or even very psychic. Most of them reminded me of my secondary school maths teacher. They shared the same taste in jewellery, flowing skirts and sensible footwear.

  Shelly got called to a table ahead of me and I sat and watched her expressive hands waving around as she chatted with the medium. I decided that once my reading was over I was definitely going into the lounge bar and getting a drink before I went home.

  After what felt like forever, a table was free and it was my turn. I took a seat opposite the middle-aged blonde-haired woman with the dangle crystal ear-rings and waited to learn my fate.

  I was surprised to discover my pulse racing and my palms were clammy with sweat.

  “Welcome, my name is Diana. Do you have a question you would like me to answer?” Her dark grey eyes looked steadily into mine as if she could see inside my mind.

  My mouth dried and I couldn’t frame a reply. What did I want to know?

  Diana nodded slowly. “Hold out your palm, and I’ll see what I can read for you.”

  Chapter Three

  Reluctantly I held out my hand, palm upwards, across the table. I wondered what Diane would say since I hadn’t asked her anything specific. In fact, I hadn’t managed to say anything at all.

  The medium adjusted the spotlight that was clipped to the side of the table so the light played onto my palm, revealing all the tiny folds and creases in the skin in harsh detail. I wanted to snatch my hand away and tuck it safely out of sight under the scarred wooden lip of the table so she wouldn’t be able to tell me things I might not want to know.

  “Now, let’s see…” She peered at my palm.

  I didn’t want her to see anything. I wished I’d stayed at home on the sofa stuffing my face with Pringles.

  “You have a nice long life line, and I see that you will only be married once, but you haven’t recognised that person yet.”

  The tension in my shoulders eased a little; maybe she was one of those general waffly-types of psychic like the ones they expose on TV. I couldn’t see anything exciting in my palm except the remains of a small blister where I’d tried to pick up a hot tray without my oven mitt.

  Without any warning, Diane took hold of the tips of my fingers and a strange tingly sensation ran across my hand and into my wrist.

  “I sense you are sad and holding in anger. A man has recently left your life, but don’t be sad for him, he wasn’t for you. There is someone else, someone who will turn your world upside down. If he hasn’t come into your life already then he will do soon. Look for him, he has a special smile and eyes that will make your heart sing.”

  Her grip on my fingertips tightened and the intent glint in her own eyes scared me. Her slightly motherly posture had changed into someone steelier. The hub-bub in the room seemed to fade and iciness crept through my bones as she spoke.

  “I see changes occurring all around you, in your work as well as your personal life. There is personal danger coming to you, great danger but you will overcome it. This will eventually be for the better.”

  I wanted to tug my hand free. I didn’t want my world turning upside down. I couldn’t say I was thrilled at the idea of danger either especially when I had to abseil down the side of a castle.

  “This new man will be the harbinger of change for you.” She released my fingers as suddenly as she had grasped them. My heart pounded in my chest and I wanted to bolt from the table.

  “Is there anything else you want to know?” She smiled at me, looking for the entire world like a harmless middle-aged housewife again.

  “No, nothing, thank you.” I stumbled up from my chair as the lady organising the appointments signalled to me that my time was up.

  Shelly was waiting for me next to the scented candle stall.

  “Well, what did she say? Oh my God, my woman was so awesome! She knew all sorts of things about me, it was so cool.” She looked at me expectantly, her eyes bright with excitement.

  “Oh, you know stuff about me having broken up with someone and that I’d meet someone new.” Thinking about it rationally she hadn’t actually said anything very definite. Apart from the danger warning and I could have done without that. It was more how she’d said it, that strange intense sensation when she’d grasped my hand. I needed a drink.

  “Oh, is that all?” Shelly pouted with disappointment.

  “Well, you know, she said something about everything in my life changing, general things. Come on, let’s go and get a drink. You can tell me what they said to you.”

  Her face brightened at the prospect of alcohol and the opportunity to relay word for word all the things the medium had told her.

  As soon as we’d escaped into the relative peace of the lounge bar I started to feel better.

  “Are you okay, Chloe? You look pale. Maybe I shouldn’t have made you come.” Shelly peered critically at me as she ordered our drinks.

  “Yeah, its okay, I’m fine. It’s not been a great day, that’s all.” I kept thinking about what Diane had said. Could she have been talking about Ben, my new neighbour?

  “Oh babe, I’m such a thoughtless cow, dragging you here and going on about finding a new bloke when you and Neil have only just split up.” Shelly bit her lip. “I’m sorry, Clo.”

  “Don’t be daft; you were right. It’s better to be out instead of being stuck in the flat on my own feeling sorry for myself.” I took a sip of my vodka and coke savouring the icy cool of the liquid as it slid down my throat.

  It was stupid to be so rattled by some fake fortune teller especially when she hadn’t actually told me anything specific. And, okay, so Ben had got amazing eyes but since he probably thought I was a self-obsessed fame-seeking nutter with delusions of grandeur he didn’t seem to be a likely candidate for turning my life upside down.

  Shelly took a little more convincing that I wasn’t dying of a broken heart before giving me a verbatim account of everything her fortune teller had said. Mainly it had consisted of her telling Shelly all about her personality before promising her a meeting with the man who would be her soul mate. Something which involved the colour blue and a cat apparently.

  “It makes you wonder if there’s anything in this medium fortune telling stuff.” She mused as she sipped her drink and flashed a flirtatious glance at the bar tender.

  “No, its all hokum isn’t it? There was a bloke on the telly that did that series showing you how they get clues from you to tell you things.” A small shiver ran up my spine as I rebuffed her suggestion. I didn’t want my fortune to come true. My life was chaotic enough without any more change. Okay, so a new man sounded nice but the danger and the idea of everything being predestined by some lines of my palm spooked me out.

  Shelly heaved a disappointed sigh. “Maybe, I suppose we’ll find out over the next few months if any of it comes true.” She flashed the bartender another flirty smile.

  “He’s not your usual type.” I whispered as he came closer to serve a man standing next to us. He appeared okay, if she was in the market for a toy boy. Normally she went for the older guy, preferably one that at least looked as if he was old enough to be serving alcohol.

  “I know but he’s wearing a blue top,” she murmured back.

  * * *

  I knew from my headache the next morning that coming home to the flat with Shelly and a bottle of wi
ne hadn’t been a good idea. Especially when a glance at my clock told me I had to be fully made-up, bright and perky at the foot of the castle keep in less than an hour.

  Two aspirin and a quick shower livened me up, and by the time I pulled onto the castle car park only the faint shadows peeking through the concealer under my eyes betrayed my late night.

  I jumped out of my car and hurried across the car park towards the small group of people standing at the foot of the keep. Merv hadn’t said which paper would be taking pictures but at a guess it would probably be old Tom from the Gazette. If it was Tom I’d be grumbled at for being five minutes late.

  “You must be Chloe.” A brisk looking woman in a bright yellow cagoule called out to me as I approached.

  “Yes, I’m sorry I’m a little bit late. I got caught up behind a bus.” The wind was keen as it gusted around the curve of the ancient grey stone wall. I wished I hadn’t given into vanity and had picked up my padded jacket rather than my more figure flattering cream knit cardigan.

  “Oh, that’s quite all right, we’re waiting for the man from the Gazette.” The brisk woman peered over my shoulder as if I might somehow be concealing him.

  I shivered and huddled into my cardi.

  “Well, we’re jolly pleased to have a representative from local radio on board, Chloe. We were sorry to hear that Steph wasn’t available but splendid of you to step into the breach.”

  I could only nod my head dumbly while I tried to prevent my teeth from chattering. Steph had stitched me up good and proper on this one. When I got chance I’d have to make sure I returned the favour.

  The rest of the group were chatting affably together. There were three men and two women, all wearing chunky shoes, waterproofs and thick jeans. Two of them had knitted hats. I wished the reporter would hurry up before I froze to death or had to listen to too many jokes about dropping to my doom over the precipice on Monday.

  “Ha, okay chaps, I think this must be the Gazette man now.” The woman in the yellow cagoule called us all to order and I looked around for old Tom.