Radio Gaga

by Nell Dixon

  Instead, striding across the grass towards us, and holding what seemed to be a very expensive camera, was Ben, my new neighbour.

  “Is this the abseiling for cancer research group?” He asked as he drew nearer.

  “Yes, we’re all here and ready to go,” Cagoule woman answered.

  Ben’s eyes met mine and my body heated.

  “Chloe, I didn’t expect to see you, are you reporting on this for the radio station?”

  It was silly, but I was absurdly thrilled that he’d remembered my name.

  “No, Chloe is one of our abseilers. Live it Up radio have already been promised hundreds of pounds in sponsorship.” Cagoule woman beamed fondly at me as if I were her prize student. My fellow abseilers didn’t look overly impressed.

  “Wow, well done.” Ben smiled at me and my heart did a crazy little flip.

  “Where do you want us for the pictures?” Cagoule woman interrupted.

  Ben looked around, studying our small group and the walls of the castle. “Um, I think if we head on up to the top of the battlements where you’re all going to descend on Monday.”

  Oh crap, I hadn’t given any thought to where we would have to pose for the pictures today. I’d assumed it would be at the castle entrance or somewhere else that was safe, and on the ground.

  There was a rumble of assent and we all followed cagoule woman into the castle and up the narrow twisty stone steps of the tower. My palms grew clammier and my pulse raced faster with every step. Maybe if I didn’t have to get too close to the edge I would be okay, maybe it wasn’t too late for me to take one of Shelly’s tablets.

  We emerged through a low archway on to the top of the battlements. The wind felt even icier as it whipped over the jagged stones marking the top of the low wall. I took a quick peep over the edge and immediately squeezed my eyes tight shut while I held onto the coping stones.

  “Right, if we assemble here. Ladies at the front and gentlemen at the back. I’ve got some gear so we can pose.” I could hear cagoule woman dishing out orders but I was too scared to open my eyes for a moment to see where we were supposed to go.

  “Chloe! You too, dear!”

  I forced my eyes open and squinted in the direction of cagoule woman’s voice. The rest of the group were all aligned along the battlements with Ben checking the composition of the grouping through his camera lens.

  Oh God, I would have to let go of the coping stone and walk across to the group to join the other women crouching down in front of the men to brandish some rope and metal things.

  “Come along, Chloe, don’t be shy.” Cagoule woman marched over and took hold of my arm forcing me to walk along with her to join the others.

  Shakily I knelt down in front of one of the woolly-hatted men and picked up a piece of rope.

  “Now everybody say 'sex'.” Ben instructed.

  There was a ripple of laughter and I forced myself to try and look cheerful.

  “Great. We’ll have a few more for luck.” Ben snapped away, tweaking our poses for the various shots. I prayed he wouldn’t ask me to move, I didn’t think my legs would support me. The best I could hope for was that the others would all leave me alone once the pictures were done and I’d be able to crawl across the stone flags and back down the tower steps unnoticed.

  “Okay, that’s it. I’ll just get details of everybody’s names and things.” Ben fixed the lens cap back on his camera and zipped it into a case.

  Everyone broke their pose, the other women stood and started to joke with the men. Embarrassingly, I couldn’t move. My heart was racing like an express train and my knees seemed to have locked in position.

  “Are you stuck, Chloe?” The man in the woolly hat tugged me to my feet.

  “Pins and needles. Leg had gone dead.” I rubbed at my knee, anything so I didn’t have to stand up and look over the edge of the wall.

  Ben had noted down names and details on everyone and some of the group had gone back to the tower to make their way down.

  “Better get your info too.” Ben came over to join me. “Is everything okay?” He frowned as I continued to rub at my leg.

  “I think I’ve got a cramp from the cold stones. Could I borrow your arm just to walk over to the tower?” I was quite proud of the evenness of my tone as I made my request. It was a perfectly legitimate question to ask wasn’t it? If I could get to the tower I’d be okay, with the wall at my back I’d feel safe and no-one would be any the wiser about my fear of heights. By Monday I’d be dosed up on Shelly’s pills and everything would be fine.

  At least, I hoped everything would be fine. If the tablets didn’t work, I was in big trouble.

  Chapter Four

  Ben obligingly loaned me his arm and I tried not to grip too hard as I hobbled across the narrow parapet to the relative safety of the tower wall. He had a very nice arm, muscled and firm.

  “Thank you.” I released him and leaned my back against the tower wall, positioning myself so that I couldn’t see the drop over the other side of the battlements.

  “No problem, cramp’s pretty painful.”

  Cagoule Woman marshalled the rest of the abseillers and ushered them into the tower.

  “We’ll see you on Monday then, Chloe; nine-thirty sharp. I understand you’ll be broadcasting live on Cereal with Steph – so exciting!” She gave me a farewell wiggle of her fingers and disappeared inside the tower, hard on the heels of the rest of the group.

  “It’s an amazing view from the top of here.” Ben gazed around in open admiration.

  “I think you can see clear across the county.” I didn’t let on that I’d managed to stand where the only view I had was of Ben and the tower wall.

  “I’ve got your details from the press release the radio station emailed across to me. The piece should be in tonight’s paper.” He stowed his notebook and pen inside a small back pack.

  “Great. I, um, was a bit surprised to see you. It’s normally Tom who covers the Gazette stuff.” Something about the way he looked at me made me go all hot and bothered.

  “Tom’s retired, I’m the new journalist now for the Gazette. As I can take pictures too it gave me the edge when they advertised the job.”

  “Well congratulations on the job. New job and new house – wow!” Oh hell, how lame did that sound? At least I’d managed to stop myself from adding the bit about new houses normally leading to new babies.

  To his credit he ignored my babbling, only the slight lifting of one dark eyebrow betrayed his thoughts.

  “Are you looking forward to the abseil?”

  “Um, well I haven’t had much time to think about it really.” It wasn’t a lie. I hadn’t had time to think much about it and I could hardly tell him I was shit scared could I?

  “Rather you than me, still, it should raise a lot of money for cancer research.”

  “I hope so. Um, will you be here on Monday?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to say yes or no. I wouldn’t mind seeing more of him – a lot more of him. On the other hand if all he saw of me was a woman having a complete breakdown as they lowered me over the edge of the castle then maybe it would be better if I just ran into him back at the house.

  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ll try and get a shot as you go over the wall.”

  “Great.” I forced a smile and hoped Shelly’s pills would be strong enough to get me through Monday’s ordeal.

  Ben followed me down the tower steps and out onto the grass outside the keep. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to be back on solid ground. If Ben hadn’t been there I probably would have knelt down and kissed the grass.

  “I expect I’ll see you around, then?” He gave me another smile that made my heart give a skip.

  “Absolutely, we’re neighbours aren’t we?” Oh why not kill me now, another totally lame reply.

  I watched him stride away after we’d said our goodbyes and I wondered if I’d left my brain at the top of the castle. Didn't matter. I wasn't going back up there to look for
it.

  * * *

  I didn’t see Ben at all on Sunday although I heard plenty of hammering and banging coming from the upstairs flat. The girl he’d said was his sister came back toting lots of bags which she hauled up the stairs to his flat. I toyed with the idea of finding a pretext to go outside so I could introduce myself but decided it might make me look nosy and stalkerish.

  Instead I spent the day catching up on my laundry and rearranging things in the flat to eradicate any trace of Neil ever having lived there. It made me quite sad. Even though Neil had been living in the flat, in reality it had been over between the two of us for a very long time. It had simply taken me a long while to realise it.

  Shelly rang to wish me good luck for Monday. I asked her again about the tablets she’d given me.

  “It’ll be fine, take one tablet thirty minutes before you’re due to do the abseil. The doctor told me I could take two if I wanted so if you’re really stressed out then take two.”

  “And you’re sure they’re safe?”

  “Chloe, I wouldn’t have given them to you if I didn’t think they were safe. The doctor said they were very mild. Honest, you’ll be fine.”

  I hoped she was right.

  “I’m going to try and sneak out of the office to come and watch you.” Shelly worked for a firm of solicitors near the centre of town.

  “Thanks, I think I’ll need some moral support. Ben will be there too, taking pictures for the Gazette.”

  “Who? Ben, the hunky new neighbour, Ben?” Shelly’s voice squeaked up a notch and I knew her interest was piqued. I’d filled her in on Ben when she’d called on Saturday to try to tempt me out for a night on the razzle. I’d declined and stayed home to fill my face with an Indian takeaway in the company of Mr Darcy courtesy of my Pride and Prejudice DVD.

  “I saw Neil, when I was in Crush last night.”

  “Neil was in Crush?” The miserable rat-bastard, every time I’d suggested going he’d turned his nose up at the idea. Probably because he’d have had to actually fork out some of his own money to get in.

  “Yeah, he was with her. I’m sorry, Clo, but I thought it was better that you knew.” Shelly sounded apologetic. She was right though, I would rather know, at least then I would be less likely to run into him.

  “She’s not a patch on you. She’s long and skinny with no boobs and bloody awful dress sense.”

  “Thanks, Shell.” I couldn’t help smiling to myself. Shelly was nothing if not loyal. She’d been my best friend from the day we’d first started playgroup together and even if Neil’s new woman had been Cheryl Cole’s twin sister, Shelly would still have found a fault.

  “You’re better off without him. Anyway maybe a fling with Ben upstairs might be just the tonic you need.”

  “I dunno Shell, he seems very nice but I think I need a break from men after Neil.” Ben did seem nice and he was well fit. When I’d been clinging on to his arm he’d seemed nicely muscled. And then there were the gorgeous blue eyes and killer smile.

  Shelly gave an unladylike snort. “Well, if you don’t want him, can I have a crack?”

  “I didn’t say I didn’t want him.”

  Shelly cackled making my eardrums ring. “That sounds better. I’ll see you at the castle tomorrow.”

  I rang off and went to bed praying that a violent storm or an outbreak of leprosy, anything in fact that might cause the abseil to be cancelled, would hit our small town the next day.

  My prayers went unheeded and I woke up to find bright April sunshine flooding into the flat. I felt too sick to eat any breakfast and barely managed to choke down half a mug of tea before it was time to head for the castle.

  After being frozen to death on my last excursion I decided to play safe and wear plenty of layers in case it was cold again today. It might also mean, if I were lucky, that I would be too fat for the safety harness.

  By the time I wombled out of the flat to my car, I’d swallowed two of Shelly’s tablets and had managed to don a tee shirt, a long sleeved tee shirt, a thick jumper, my padded jacket and a navy felt beret. I looked like an overweight member of the French Resistance.

  This time the car park nearest to the castle was already full and I had to leave my car in a side street before waddling along to where the rest of the victims were gathered. My layers of clothing were sticking to my back and by the time I joined the group I was quite heated and breathless.

  “Ah, Chloe, good, we’re all here now. This is Martin from Ropes and Ladders, he’s going to be your instructor for today along with his assistant, Jenny.” Cagoule Woman waved her hand towards a cheerful looking bloke wearing a green sweater with a Ropes and Ladders logo. He was accompanied by an equally cheery looking red-haired girl.

  As the Ropes and Ladders man began to run through the safety drill, explaining the equipment I started to feel quite woozy. I whipped off my beret and stuffed it in my jacket pocket. Running up the hill to the castle had made me a touch too warm.

  I tried to focus on what the instructor was saying. He made it all sound simple.

  “And you’re quite sure we’re not going to fall?” I asked as he finished demonstrating the equipment.

  The group laughed.

  “Absolutely, Chloe. We’ve never had anyone fall yet.” He smiled at me as everyone else laughed once more. His answer didn’t convince me that I wasn’t going to be the first.

  A large crowd had gathered around the foot of the keep and I glanced around hoping to spot Shelly. Everyone else appeared to have a large band of supporters there all waving hand painted placards with encouraging slogans like ‘Go Kevin’, and ‘You can do it, Janice’ on them. The only person I could see there to support me was Bob Singh in a yellow Live it Up Radio tee shirt. Bob did the Wednesday night Bhangra with Bob slot and I guessed Mervyn had dragooned him into showing up this morning.

  I gave him what I hoped was a confident wave and started to follow the others up the stairs of the tower. My pulse began to race as we made the ascent and my knees were knocking. Just before I stepped out onto the top of the battlements I slipped another couple of Shelly’s tablets into my mouth.

  So far they didn’t seem to be having any effect on me and it appeared she’d been right when she’d said they might have lost some of their strength now they were out of date.

  I put my hand out to feel for the coping stones on the top of the wall as I stepped into the sunshine. The parapet was crowded with people. The abseillers, Cagoule woman, the instructors, Ben and, to my horror, Mervyn, complete with recording equipment.

  “And here’s Chloe Lark, representing Live it Up, your favourite local radio station, about to join the brave volunteers in this fabulous charity abseil in aid of cancer research.” Mervyn turned off the equipment and hustled towards me. “You could have been wearing one of our tee shirts!”

  Ben snapped a picture.

  “Sorry, I didn’t think. I was too worried about possibly falling to my doom,” I hissed back at him.

  He glared at me and switched the recording equipment back on. “Give us a few words, Chloe. Tell the listeners at home, how excited are you to be taking part today?”

  Mervyn’s face seemed slightly fuzzy and out of focus as I tried to scramble my thoughts together to give him a broadcastable reply. “I’m very excited and I hope this will raise tons of money for an extremely good cause.”

  The sun must be stronger than I’d thought as I’d become quite warm. I slipped off my padded jacket and handed it to Merv. “Can you look after this?”

  I made my way cautiously along the parapet taking care not to look over the side while I held onto the battlements. The stone was cold and rough against my sweaty fingers but I was quite pleased that so far at least I had managed not to disgrace myself by passing out.

  The first two victims had gone over the wall to rapturous cheers from the crowd waiting below the keep. My sweater was still making me hot so I peeled it off. Mervyn was busy capturing sound bites from Cagoule Woman and
without thinking I passed it to Ben.

  “Can you give this to Mervyn in a minute to look after for me? It’s gone quite warm today.” For some strange reason I had trouble forcing the words to come out of my mouth properly. It’s amazing what fear does to you I suppose.

  “Chloe, are you okay?” Ben stared at me. At least I think he stared at me, all of a sudden I couldn’t seem to bring his features properly into focus.

  “Absolutely great.” I tried nodding but my head didn’t feel as if it was connected properly to my body anymore.

  “Couldn’t be smashinger.” And that was the last thing I remembered.

  Chapter Five

  There was someone crying in the distance. At least, I thought that was what I could hear. My eyelids seemed to have been weighted down with lead and the inside of my mouth tasted icky, as if I’d been sick. My head rested on something firm, I tried to raise myself up and failed. The fortune teller had been right about my life being in danger. This would teach me to pay more attention to my horoscope in future.

  Maybe I was dead. Was this what the afterlife was like? Had I been the first person to die on a Ropes and Ladders abseil?

  Oh crap! The abseil! Perhaps that had all been a dream and I hadn’t woken up yet. I tried once more to force my eyelids open.

  Green and white shapes swam in and out of focus. Dimly, I realised there was a sort of antiseptic smell tickling at my nostrils and adding to my general queasy feeling.

  “Am I dead?” My voice came out as a muffled mumble and I suspected I’d drooled onto whatever my head lay on.

  A blurry face came close to mine and something bright shone straight into my eyes searing the backs of my eyeballs.

  “What you doing?” If I wasn’t dead I must have been badly hurt. I tried to wriggle my toes in an attempt to feel my feet.

  “You’re in hospital.”

  I didn’t recognise the male voice. It appeared to belong to my torturer with the bright light.

  “What happened?” Relief, I could move my feet; I couldn’t have broken my neck.