The next morning, Ethan woke with a splitting headache. He hadn’t slept well but had to get to work. Mondays were his busiest day.
He took a long shower, hoping to invigorate himself but without much success. He still felt confused but decided to talk with Mia to get more answers. He needed to know where her head was at.
He missed Reagan and wanted to reach out to her and talk to her about the situation. She was pretty much his best friend lately, but he knew the news would be difficult for her. It also made him feel disloyal, both to her and to Mia at the same time.
He knew the right thing to do, at least for the moment, was to focus on Mia.
He grabbed his briefcase and keys and headed out the door. He was surprised to see paparazzi behind the gate as he pulled out of his driveway. There were six or seven of them, all vying for position to take his photograph.
He drove straight ahead, slowing down just enough for them to dive out of his way.
They were yelling questions at him but he kept his windows firmly shut. He had a bad feeling.
The sharks smelled blood in the water and they were already circling.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Reagan
“So you had a good time?” Penny asked.
Reagan nodded.
“Yes, it was a wonderful day,” she said. “I really like him Penny. I really do.”
Penny beamed from ear to ear. She was thrilled that Reagan was taking a chance with this mystery man.
“Sounds like it was the perfect date. I can’t imagine how romantic it would be to spend an entire date on a yacht. So, do you think you’ll introduce me to him soon?”
Reagan smiled and shrugged.
“If things move forward with him, then I’ll for sure introduce you. I don’t mean to be secretive. I just want to make sure that he’s ready for that,” she said, touching Penny’s arm.
“I understand. I’m just so happy for you. Any man who can make you feel safe enough to open up and share your story with him is okay in my books. I trust your judgement, Ray.”
Reagan gave her a hug, grateful for her support.
Ragnar pulled on his leash, trying to get a better view of the ducks in the pond. He looked back at Reagan, his tongue lolling from the side of his mouth. She clicked her tongue and he trotted back to her, sitting as soon as he reached her. She leaned over and kissed his head.
“His training is really coming along. It’s like he’s a different dog from a few months ago. Won’t be much longer before someone adopts him,” Penny said.
Reagan nodded, her smile fading. She wanted him to find a good home, but she had to admit, it would be bittersweet. She scratched him behind the ears while he panted happily.
“He’s done well. Is he behaving for other handlers?” Reagan asked.
Penny pursed her lips and shrugged, causing Reagan to chuckle.
“He’s not as bad, but still quite willful. He’ll need obedience classes when he’s adopted. That might be a deterrent for some families. You know how people can be. They want things to be easy peasy.”
Reagan nodded. A big dog was hard enough, but a “bad” big dog was almost impossible.
“Poor puppy,” Reagan sighed, giving him a hug. “Come on, let’s get him back. I need to be at the retirement home by one thirty.”
She stood up and Ragnar quickly rose, not wanting to be left behind. Penny stood up and straightened her skirt and the three friends walked on together, making their way down the path.
“Thanks for spending my lunch hour with me. We love it when you come visit,” Penny said.
“I have a lot on my mind and talking it through with you has been so helpful,” Reagan said. “I think that no matter what happens with Ethan, things are going to start shifting for me and I’m going to need your emotional support.”
Penny glanced sideways at her friend. Reagan smiled back.
“Holy cow, look at you growing and evolving!” Penny teased. “You’re asking for support instead of trying to work everything out on your own! Are you finally admitting that you need me?”
Reagan chuckled.
“Very funny. You know I’ve always depended on your friendship, Pen, even if I sucked at saying so. You’re my bestie,” she said putting her arm around Penny’s shoulder and pulling her close.
She planted a smooch on Penny’s forehead.
“What the heck has gotten into you, girl?” Penny said, giggling.
Reagan released her and regained control of the dog.
“Nothing yet,” she winked, “but hopefully soon.”
“You’re so different, Ray.”
Reagan shrugged.
“I guess I’m ready to start living, instead of just existing. I’m starting to see myself being open to sharing my life with someone. This will mean changing careers too. I’ve spent the past few years healing, Penny. I couldn’t really allow myself to fall in love, while I felt so broken. I feel like I may finally be whole again. I’m ready to trust again.”
Penny was smiling and wiping away tears.
Reagan gave her a pat on her back.
“Come on. Don’t get all sappy on me.”
“I can’t help it. I’m just happy for you. I’ve been wanting this for you for a long time.”
Reagan looked at her.
“Wanting what?” she asked.
Penny sighed.
“Love.”
Reagan inhaled slowly, letting the word sink in.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Ethan
Ethan drove up to the movie lot and noticed more paparazzi lingering on the sidewalks just outside the security gate. It wasn’t uncommon to see one or two photographers hanging around, but when there were more it usually meant a big story was developing.
That bad feeling he had was turning into dread. He saw their cameras pointing at his car and he sat back into his seat, vainly trying to hide himself in the leather. One photographer even stepped in front of the Porsche, causing him to slow down or else run him over. Ethan considered the latter for a split second.
The photographer took several shots and then stepped aside, continuing to flash shots as Ethan drove by.
Ethan did his best to not look at him.
He stopped at the security gate, opened his window and flipped his pass up for the guard to see. Just then, he heard the man who stepped in front of his car call out to him.
“Ethan, Ethan. Are the rumors true? Are you and Mia Miller having a baby? Is there a bun in the oven?” he yelled.
Ethan made eye contact with the security guard, silently pleading with him to move things along quickly. The guard shot him a sympathetic look and waved him through. Ethan quickly made his way through the gate, grateful he wouldn’t be followed.
When he got to his office, Kirk was waiting for him. He had an armful of newspapers, most likely the gossip rags. Ethan sighed.
“How bad is it?” he asked after they sat down.
Kirk laid the papers out in front of him. Ethan perused the headlines quickly, sighing loudly.
“How the fuck do they get this shit printed so fast?” he asked, irritated. “These pics are from Saturday at the restaurant.”
Kirk shrugged, his face set in a frown.
“It’s what they live for. This stuff sells a lot of papers. Have you been online? It’s all over social media too,” Kirk said.
Ethan shook his head.
“No, I didn’t want to see it,” he said. “I had enough on my mind this weekend.”
“So is it true?” Kirk asked, pointing to the paper closest to him.
Ethan nodded slowly, searching his friend’s face. Kirk sighed and gathered the papers.
“Wait, what do they say?” Ethan asked.
Kirk shook his head.
“Nothing definitive, mostly speculation. But you know that doesn’t matter. Facts are incidental to them. Is Mia okay?” he asked with mild concern.
Ethan sat back in his chair.
“I guess s
he is. She’s upset, of course. It wasn’t a great conversation. It all happened so fast. I met her for lunch to end things. When I told her it was over, she told me she was pregnant. Someone must have overheard. You know how the paparazzi are.”
Kirk nodded.
“What about the pics? You two look pretty cosy. She’s kissing you here, you’re holding her hand in this one, and again here she’s kissing you. Then this one, she’s holding her baby bump,” Kirk said, laying out one of the papers and pointing. “Paints a pretty convincing story.”
“Doesn’t it,” Ethan said flatly.
He slowly shook his head, allowing his stress to pass through his lips by way of a long, drawn out sigh. Well, it’s out there now, he thought wryly. He had to address it with the media sooner or later. First he needed to talk to Mia.
“What are you going to do?” Kirk asked.
Ethan frowned, searching for an answer. He didn’t know. He thought of how the publicity would force him into the limelight and pressure him to make his decisions quickly and publicly, only to be swiftly judged in a social media frenzy. He would either be lynched or applauded, depending on how the media decided to spin it. No matter what, he knew it was probably already trending.
Then, with complete dismay, he thought of Reagan.
She was going to see all of this and she wouldn’t know what to make of it. He had to talk to her and explain. He wasn’t sure how to see her without drawing attention to himself, and to her. Staying under the radar was no longer a possibility, at least not right now.
Ethan, a man who was almost always together under pressure, felt himself falling apart.
Kirk saw his distress.
“What is it, Ethan?”
Ethan massaged his forehead with his fingertips and ran his hands through his hair, trying to find the words. Finally he spoke.
“I need to see Reagan. I need to explain all this to her.”
Kirk looked troubled and shifted in his chair.
“No. The last thing you need to do is to draw attention to your ...”
Kirk paused, trying to find the words.
“Your Domme. You think the media is bad now, throw a love triangle into the mix. Jesus, Ethan, think this through!”
Ethan made a fist and brought it down on his desk with a crash, surprising Kirk. He looked at Kirk, his eyes tired and full of worry.
“I don’t want to upset her, Kirk. Imagine reading something like this without any context? It would be so disturbing. I don’t know what to do,” he said quietly.
Kirk nodded.
“I’ll tell you what you need to do, Ethan. You need to worry about Mia and your baby. You need to make all of that right. Make it okay. Play time is over,” he said, as though offering fatherly advice.
Ethan frowned.
“It’s not like that, Kirk. I know you have the opinion that Reagan is a phase or a play thing, but she’s not. She’s special to me. She’s someone I could see in my life. Fuck, this is a mess,” he said, his frustration getting the better of him.
Kirk frowned but said nothing.
Both men looked at one another in silence, as if waiting for the answer to reveal itself.
Finally, Ethan spoke, his voice soft and calm.
“I’ll figure something out. You’re right. I need to talk to Mia first. I have to do what’s right for the baby.”
Kirk nodded in agreement.
“I’m sure it will all work out okay, Ethan. In fact, I promise you it will.”
Ethan nodded but he didn’t share Kirk’s confidence. He picked up the phone on his desk and dialed through to his assistant.
“Jill, reschedule everything for me today, please,” he said quietly.
He hung up and picked up his cell to text Mia.
Hi Mia. We need to talk. Can we meet today at my place? I can be home by noon. Please come.
Ethan looked at Kirk and gave him a weak smile. Seconds later his phone chirped. It was Mia replying.
Yes, would love to talk. I’ll be there at twelve. Should I bring lunch? <3
Ethan tried to hide his cringe. She seemed so causal, like she didn’t have a care in the world. He quickly texted back.
No, I have food in the house. I can make something. See you soon.
He looked up at Kirk and shook his head.
“Okay, she’s coming over and we’re going to talk.”
Kirk nodded.
“Good. Makes sense to address this quickly. Mia won’t want the paparazzi or the media all over this either.”
Ethan wasn’t sure that was true but kept his feelings to himself.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Reagan
Reagan was in a good mood. She’d just left the retirement home, having spent much of the afternoon with Bill. She read to him and then they listened to music. She was excited to share the progress she’d made since the last time they spoke. She was grateful to him for encouraging her to open her heart and told him so.
She hadn’t heard from Ethan since Friday, two days after their date. He called her that evening. They flirted and teased each other until her panties were soaked. He shared some kinky fantasies that he had, cautiously at first until she encouraged him to be uninhibited, then he really opened up.
She was completely turned on by his imagination. So turned on that she began stripping on camera for him as he spoke. While he told her his fantasies, she let him watch her slide her finger in and out of her pussy until she came for him.
By that time he was so hard that he turned his camera on himself, and she got to watch him stroke his firm cock until it erupted with semen. The sight sent shudders through her, and she longed for the day he would do that inside her.
They talked for hours afterwards, about everything and nothing, neither of them wanting to hang up. He asked if they could see each other the following week and she said yes. She couldn’t wait to see him again.
Reagan turned into the parking lot of the grocery store two blocks from her house. She had to make a quick stop for coffee. Waking up the next day without caffeine was out of the question.
Once inside, she found her way to the coffee aisle, grabbed a bag of fair trade beans, and then picked up a pint of cream from the cooler. When she got to the checkout there was a bit of a line. Shopping right after work was never a good idea if you were in a hurry.
She flipped through her cell phone as she waited for the line to move forward and noticed an email, a request from her website. It was from someone completely new looking for details. He had filled out the client information form but she didn’t want to read it through. She tossed her phone in her purse and pushed the cart forward as the line slowly progressed.
She would reply to the client later and let him know she was unavailable indefinitely.
She smiled to herself, thinking of Ethan. Her thoughts drifted back to their conversation on Friday. Ethan had confessed that he was happy for the first time in a long time and that she was the reason. He told her he was grateful that he took a chance and reached out to her when he did, and that he’d been pleasantly surprised by how things had unfolded. He also said he thought she was the most amazing woman he’d ever met and that while she was obviously beautiful, he found himself attracted to her for so many other reasons, one of which was her honesty. He said he liked that she had so many facets to her.
No one had ever made Reagan feel so special or safe. Although she needed a little more time to figure everything out, she was starting to fall in love.
She moved forward as another customer checked out. The man in front of her was next. He had more items than the maximum twelve allowed in the express lane. He gave Reagan a little shrug when he noticed her looking at his groceries. She grinned, shrugged back and then looked away so he wouldn’t think she was judging him.
Her eyes landed on the magazines in the rack beside her. Oprah was looking good in a white pant suit. Reagan’s smile softened when she read one of the headlines.
Share Your Story
, Heal Your Soul.
How coincidental was that, Reagan thought curiously. The theme that month was, Time for a Makeover!
She chuckled quietly, picked up the magazine and added it to her items on the checkout belt. A new life would require a new look.
She looked at what else she might enjoy reading. She stopped short when she saw Ethan on the cover of several of the papers. Ethan and the actress Mia Miller.
She felt her stomach clench in knots as her smiled disappeared.
So many pictures.
They were kissing in what appeared to be some outdoor patio at a restaurant. In another he was holding her hand across the table. And the worst one, Mia resting her hands on her belly.
The headlines tore her in two.
Make way for Baby!
And another:
Hollywood’s “IT” Couple, Preggers!
She closed her eyes slowly and opened them again, somehow hoping the headlines would change.
They didn’t.
She inhaled slowly and deeply, trying to control her nausea. She wanted to get out of the store as fast as she could. She clumsily put Oprah back on the shelf before the salesclerk could ring it through, her hands shaking. She held back tears as she paid for her purchase, barely hearing the clerk ask if she wanted a bag.
“Miss, do you want a bag?” the clerk asked impatiently for the second time.
Reagan looked up and shook her head.
“Thank you, enjoy the rest of your day.”
Reagan was pretty sure that would be impossible.
When she got to her car, she tossed her purse and her purchases onto the seat beside her. She sat for a moment, trying to get her bearings.
She was numb.
Numb and confused.
What was going on?
Was Ethan in a relationship this whole time?
Why didn’t he tell her?
Why did he pretend to care so much about her?
Grace and Mercy Page 19
