Loneliness Trilogy Bundle Boxset

by Alison Cole

  Marcus wants all of us to meet at your house tomorrow night, so you should all have your computers there. It looks easy, but I think I'll trust him to be the one to set up your security. We'll do the same for his family's computers. And, I hope we can sleep now!

  Dad's response:

  To: JohannaH

  From: GWilliams

  Subject: Re: Re: Measures

  Thank him for us. Anything we can do to ease the stress on you. As long as you three are secure and safe, that's all we want for you. We'll see you tomorrow night. Go to bed.

  That night, we all sleep the sleep of the just. With no messages belting out into the silence of the slumbering house, Lizzie sleeps uninterrupted. This means my sleep is unbroken. I wake up feeling more refreshed than I have in days. This means I'm able to discuss Tim's idea with Marcus and understand everything.

  "...You do know that we're either going to have to reconnect the house phone or use a public phone, don't you?" I ask.

  "I knew that yesterday. Probably set up our phone just for the one call, then unplug it one more time and stash it back in the closet. I'll leave Lizzie with you today and go talk to the barrister about Tim's idea. All this relies on his eventual decision, you know."

  "Yes, I do." I look down at Lizzie as she feeds. She's alert and calm. Her eyes are deepening to the same emerald green as Marcus' eyes. Her small hand rests on my breast, patting and kneading it. "Talk to him, let him know this would be a one-time effort and that the press would be required to comply with the gag order once our interview is over."

  "Got that. I'll let you know when I get to the studio - ahh, that's another thing. I'm going to continue taking you to practices and home. No way in hell am I going to allow you to be vulnerable to those jackals," he growls.

  I stand slowly and move over to Marcus, giving him a slow, searching kiss.

  "I love you, you know?"

  "I love you," Marcus says, gazing solemnly into my eyes.

  "I am perfectly okay with you continuing to take us to practices. I don't know how I'd handle those 'jackals,' as you call them. One-on-one, I think I can handle them, but not in a horde as they've been rushing us!"

  At the studio that day, we tell Tim that we're in for his idea, depending upon the decision of the barrister.

  "I'm going to go visit him in a while and see what he says. Oh, before I forget, we have unplugged the house phone and voice mail. We're temporarily deactivating our cell phones as well - the hacking scandal - and communicating with everybody only through emails. I need to see everyone's computers so I can put security on them. I wouldn't put it past them to try and steal someone's computer and find out what's up with us regarding Cara," Marcus says.

  "Spooky! Boys? Bring your lappys here tomorrow and we'll have Marcus do his thing," Tim says. "So, until after the trial - and a sentencing decision - no phone calls. Only emails using our secured computers. Now. Onto the CD and planned European concert...the CD will be ready for release before year's end. Plan for some big CD release parties, here and in the U.S. After that, we'll go on the European concert tour, which should last roughly three months. That said, we will continue to practice and get ready for both events. Johanna, it's going to be very busy, so I hope you get the rest you need."

  "I slept better last night than I have in days," I say.

  Marcus leaves and we begin practicing. We focus on our newest songs and play sets today. Tim works with us on rough areas. As we practice, we take each song in the order in which we will play it in our concerts.

  Marcus returns close to lunch time, bearing lunch bags. We retreat to a room of the studio where the press cannot see in, and we discuss the barrister's and magistrate's decision.

  "Okay, he thought our idea was...unique, to say the least. I told him everything and, at first, he wanted to say "no," outright. Then, when I told him about the non-stop phone calls interrupting Lizzie's and our sleep, unplugging and chucking the phone and voice message machine into a closet, deactivating our cell phones and communicating with everyone only via email from security-protected computers, that's when he realized that the press are completely intruding on our lives. We talked about your idea, Tim, and how we could make it work - especially after we give them a big build up and then give them, basically, nothing. That's when we started to talk details. In the end, he called the magistrate and discussed your idea with him. Here's what we have. As long as we meet in a neutral spot; comply with the gag order post-interview and tell him if the press are violating the terms of the gag order, we can move ahead with our plan."

  I don't know what I had been hoping for, but when I hear Marcus' words, I freeze. This means we have to sit across a table from them and interact with them. "Oh, my God, Marcus! You mean we're going to sit across from a table and feed them something we've decided upon beforehand?"

  "Exactly. With protection from the court. The magistrate is going to call all of them into a hearing and enjoin them from contacting us in any way, shape or form. We are going to continue to communicate with others only via email. Until the case has been decided, we are going to be in the press at least once a week. Now, I think we need to set up a plan as to what exactly we're going to 'share' with those, erm, 'jackals.'"

  From there, we discuss what we would share with the reporters - of course, the barrister gave us a whole laundry list of things we couldn't touch upon or reply to. So, it would be limited to our thoughts and feelings about what had happened.

  "Etm, Marcus, I've been thinking about something. Give them a promise that you're going to tell them what you want to see to happen to Cara and Melanie. You know, what they're going to be hoping you'll say - that they should get the death penalty, or something like that. Let's talk about ideas for the 'big non-deliver' you'll be giving them. Any big ideas, guys?"

  I sit back and listen. My eyes move from person to person and I take in what they are saying. This plan is getting better and better.

  First, Tim speaks. "Play on their 'the public has a right to know' theme. Like, you were only going along with the magistrate and barrister after having your arm twisted. Think about those feelings and thoughts that you wouldn't mind having printed - not that this will be printed, but...think as if it will be."

  Linny sets his sandwich down. "Guys, here's what I think you need to say. Talk about you fear for Marcus, Johanna. Marcus, talk about how you wanted to protect Johanna. Under no circumstances do you mention Lizzie. Keep her name out of it at all costs. For the purpose of this interview, your little girl does not exist."

  "Good thought, Linny. Keep their attention focused on you and Johanna, Marc. Lizzie is just a little baby and can't protect herself. Now, what I've been thinking for the 'big reveal...' Marcus, you should hint at 'suddenly remembering' Cara from your school years. Hint that you want to talk about that - and that it won't be positive. Will you need to get approval from the barrister first?" Laslow asks.

  "Yes, yes we will, in fact," Marcus responds.

  "Oy, okay! Then, discuss this with them - I don't think you want to be accused of defamation or slander or any of that, so, in case they say no, we need to have an alternative 'big reveal' ready. Boys?"

  "Not necessarily, Laslow. He can talk about 'remembering', but his 'memories' can be limited to thoughts like, 'I remember seeing her, but not anything beyond that.' What I think the reveal could consist of is this...Imply that you're going to admit to past communications with her. They'll latch onto that, hoping that those communications would have been intimate or lurid," Tim suggests.

  "Ewww," I say, wrinkling my nose.

  "And use Johanna's reaction," Laslow suggests. "As you begin building up to that, drop little hints here and there into your conversation. Johanna, do just that expression - that wrinkled nose and downturned mouth. Perfect!"

  I think about their suggestion. Taking the recommendations each had made, I look at them from all sides. Looking at Marcus, I see he's doing the same thing. I look into his eyes after a few minutes and
give him a slight nod.

  "Okay, then, that's settled. Here's what I'll do. I'll talk to the barrister and let him know what we've talked about. We'll talk about this 'big reveal' being my 'sudden memories' of going to school with Cara and hinting that I'm going to admit to past communications. If he is okay with it, I'll come back here with that news. And Johanna and I will begin working on an interview we could plausibly have with them," Marcus says.

  "Good! You know, I think that, as long as the barrister knows we're not going to totally destroy Cara during an interview, he'll be all right with that," Tim says.

  "I think so, too, but I just don't want to end up hauled in front of him for something for which I'd end up behind bars," Marcus says with a shiver. "That's the last thing I would want. I can't stand to be away from my wife and little girl."

  At home that night, Marcus and I worked on dinner, then my parents' came over to eat with us. After a lovely meal, Marcus helped my parents' and sister set up security for all their computers. After completing this, we reiterate that we're only going to communicate with them via email.

  "Our phones are already deactivated. They can't get anything and, hopefully, everything we've texted is completely off-topic and nothing they'd be interested in," I say.

  After my family leaves, we spend a little time working on a probable interview script, then we go to bed...well, after making sweet love to each other, which we really needed after a stressful few days

  Marcus and I are sitting in a dingy, out-of-the-way diner as we talk to reporters from two rags - tabloids. They have set small recorders in front of us and I see the spindles rotating slowly as they record everything we say.

  "No, I remembered that I did have contact with Cara in secondary school. However, I was in the college group and she was in the vocational, I believe. What I remember, mainly, is that she would send me small smiles. I'd nod my head to her in passing, but that's the extent of it...except..."

  I turn my face to Marcus and the corners of my mouth edge down. I see the reporters watching my face very closely, so I carefully maintain that expression as I gaze at my blushing husband.

  "And...?" the tall, skinny reporter prompts.

  "Well..." Marcus looks at me, almost furtively. "I, um, I decided that I wanted to have some form of communication with her..." His voice falters as he sees my expression darkening.

  In agreement with what we had decided earlier, I shudder delicately and say, "Ewww. I don't know how..."

  Marcus looks at me and says, "But luv, I just wanted to let her know..."

  "Know what?" I ask.

  "That...that I'd always found her..."

  Chapter 15

  I gasp suddenly, waking myself up. As I sit up, Marcus wakes up, too.

  "Johanna, what is it?" he asks me quietly.

  "I was dreaming about having the interview. You were about to admit that you'd always found her to be pretty," I said, holding my hand over my pounding heart.

  "Come here. Lie down. Be calm and try to relax. I can't wait until we have this interview and it's all done and history!" Marcus says as he sighs heavily.

  I'm still exhausted from the lack of sleep. I cuddle into Marcus' warm side and try to fall asleep again.

  The next day, Linny is sick, so practice is canceled. I work on voice exercises at home so I keep my singing voice healthy. After a couple hours of practice, I take the baby and bundle her up, telling Marcus that we'll be outside, enjoying the sunlight. It's early autumn and she's already ten months old! Still, it's been cold lately and we haven't had very much sunlight. We're playing outside when I hear the sounds of reporters just beyond the tall wall. Swallowing my fear, I grab Lizzie and hightail it back into the house.

  "What? What happened?" Marcus asks in alarm. My face obviously gives me away.

  I get control of my breathing.

  "We were playing just outside and I heard some reporters saying, 'She's outside with the kid! Come on!'"

  Marcus smothers a swear word and peeks through the sheers. He runs to the closet in his room and pulls the house phone out and plugs it in.

  "Call the police. When you and my daughter can't even enjoy a sunny autumn day..."

  I call. Ten minutes later, the tall ladder comes down. The police ring us on our cell phone.

  "Hadley residence, Marcus speaking. Yes, officer. If you'll come to the rear gate, I'll let you in."

  Inside the house, the responding officers tell us that they've made the reporters leave. Still...my enjoyment of the sunny day is now ruined. After the police leave, we stay inside and make sure the sheers are securely shut.

  "I think we should leave just the phone connected for instances like this. I hadn't thought of events like this. No voice message machine. We all need our sleep. I'll turn the ringer off. We're only making outgoing calls, not receiving any calls," Marcus decides. I quickly agree and Marcus plugs back in all the phones.

  Our CD is now ready for release! Accordingly, Nigel, our business manager set up big CD release parties in the U.S. and here in the U.K. A press release goes out ahead of the big day, generating publicity and creating buzz so that music lovers would buy our newest release.

  We make plans to attend both release parties. Because the criminal trials for both Cara and Melanie are still a few months away, we are safe to travel. We hire a top-notch security firm to patrol inside and outside the wall of our house to keep snoopy reporters out. Before we leave, we give them instruction to call us if they catch anyone trying to get into the property or house. For this, we buy and activate international cell phones.

  In the U.S. several event planners have created a huge release party. We are set up to perform a few songs from the new CD. My mum goes with us so she can take care of our healthy little girl. Lizzie hasn't begun to walk, but she is definitely mobile!

  The U.S. CD release party is a huge success. Many celebrities, musicians, actors, actresses and film stars are present. We are an international sensation. Everyone who hears us play, love us. Our CD is a big hit, leading to huge sales in music stores and online all throughout the U.S.

  We return to the U.K. and rest for a few days before the U.K. CD release party. There we also have major celebrities and sports stars in attendance. Once both CD release parties are over, our business manager reports that our CD is selling very well - we are already in double-platinum numbers and well on our way to triple-platinum numbers! No doubt, we have arrived musically! I am thrilled! This is everything we have been working so hard toward.

  Now, we focus on our pending European tour, set to begin right after Christmas, when the baby will be one year old. Because of the continuing insistence of the tabloid reporters, the security stills tries to fend them off, both at our house and at the studio. Now we are so well protected, we are able to focus on the music and taking care of our baby.

  Finally, the criminal trials for Cara and Melanie are set to start. They will be held consecutively, so I hope this will speed things up. I don't want Lizzie exposed to the public, so mum and I arrange for her to take care of the baby while I'm in attendance at the trials.

  "Johanna, I will watch the baby like a hawk. She'll stay inside unless I know I can safely take her to the yard while you're out." Mum has offered to drive over here to our house in Saint Albans. She will have the protection of the security detail, which patrols 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

  On the first day of the trial, Cara's attorney alludes to a possible mental health diagnosis, saying that, because she is mentally ill, she should not be convicted of the crimes for which she is charged. Hearing this, I am forced to school my facial expression. Marcus and I know that, if we show any negative emotion, this will make it into the press. For this reason, I look down at my notepad, scribbling notes. Literally! I am drawing musical notes on my notepad! This will help me to present a positive face while in court, more than anything else could. I feel Marcus nudge my ribs. Looking at him, I see a question in his deep-green eyes.

  Do you w
ant to stay?

  Yes, Marcus. I want to be here every day. I need to know what's happening so I can protect you and our little girl.

  Okay. I'll be here with you, too. I'll work at night and on breaks here in court.

  We smile at each other, then face the front of the courtroom.

  During the trial, the barrister prosecuting the case presents evidence that shows how Cara worked to track Marcus down. He calls us both to the stand and takes, first, me through my testimony.

  I describe how I first spotted Cara and alerted Marcus to her presence.

  "What did your husband say about the defendant?"

  "He said he didn't remember her."

  "At what point was he able to remember her?"

  "After we found out that they had attended the same secondary school, he looked through the school's yearbooks. Once he saw her, he vaguely remembered who she was."

  "Did he tell you his impression of her?"

  "Only that he had no memory of who she was or of anything she did in school. He didn't even remember what she studied."

  A few days later, Marcus is on the stand, describing how Cara would find out where we lived at the time, what we drove and what our daily schedule was.

  "My wife was dumping our rubbish in the bin outside when she saw Cara across the street, just staring at our flat."

  I happen to glance over at Cara. The sight makes me go cold all over and shiver. She's staring vacantly at Marcus with her mouth wide open. Nothing else gets her attention, not even when someone drops a pad on the floor.

  "What did you do when she told you she had seen Cara outside?"

  "Made sure the sheers were closed and called my dad. We moved to a temporary place that same day. I was not going to expose my family to anything she might be capable of," Marcus says.

  I sigh in relief. He had promised not to mention the baby and he stuck to that.