Walking in Two Worlds

by Wab Kinew

  “Oh, she’s crying!” A bystander stated the obvious.

  “Shut up!” Bugz yelled back. The bystander looked more closely at his phone, as though it would protect him.

  “I understand.” Feng spoke again. “In the Floraverse, you were brave, but in the real world, you’re nothing. Now that you can’t magically respawn, that’s all you are—nothing.”

  Bugz brought her sleeve to her face to wipe her eyes. She sniffed and composed herself. She saw through Feng now; his pedestrian insult had somehow calmed her. “I’m sorry I brought you into my life,” she said softly. “Everything fell apart once you came along.” She studied his irises for a sign of compassion, for a glimpse of humanity, for something. Her search came up empty. “I thought you saw me for who I really am.”

  “What about me? All the abuse I’ve been putting up with for you. Now I’ve got to restart from scratch. And worse yet, no clan is going to want me now that I’ve been blacklisted by Clan:LESS.”

  “Who cares? They’re a bunch of losers.”

  “I gave up everything for Clan:LESS. I left my friggin’ country for them. And then what did I do? I betrayed them to help you. What a mistake. I’m the one who lost everything!”

  “There’s a million goons out there like you. You can just buy back every dumb gun and skin you lost.” Bugz shook her head. “I can’t do that. An entire way of life. A back-up of our civilization. It’s over.”

  “You can respawn!” Feng stretched his arms out as though egging Bugz on to fight him. “Build it again!”

  “Feng, just leave.”

  “No, you have to talk to me! You owe me that.”

  Bugz turned away. “Just leave,” she said, her voice low.

  “Fine, I’ll leave and go look at some more memes about what a traitor I am. And you can put your fake face and fake body back on and go hide behind your ’Versona.” Feng stormed off for a few steps, stopped, and turned. The chatter in the crowd died. Feng stared at Bugz, letting his gaze travel from her head to her toes. “I can’t stand how you look without my phone anyway.”

  CHAPTER 49

  Bugz processed the words with detachment as Feng disappeared further into the crowd. The crowd itself seemed to shift nervously, trading shocked expressions. Bugz felt as if she were buried under an avalanche of eyes studying her. She knew if she took her phone out now it would make her seem small and sad, and the action would be immortalized forever on the livestreams. So she chose something slightly more reasonable: she ran. She pushed through the crowd to a nearby accessible restroom and locked the door behind her. She sat in the tiled corner and, letting the tears flow, pulled out her phone and fumbled with it aimlessly.

  Bugz heard a knock at the door.

  “Go away!” she shouted.

  Three more knocks.

  “I said, GO AWAY!”

  After a pause, a feminine voice snuck through the door. “It’s me, Stormy.” Stormy waited another moment and spoke again, gently but firmly. “Open up.” She rapped softly on the door one final time before Bugz stood and opened it a crack. She knew Stormy could see her red, swollen eyes, but she didn’t care.

  “Can I come in?” the girl asked.

  “I’m not going to hurt myself.”

  “Well, that’s good.” Stormy smiled. “But I actually just wanted to ask how you’re feeling.”

  Bugz stepped back from the door and Stormy slid through the opening. Bugz noted Stormy’s skinniness.

  “That was harsh, bro,” Stormy said. “That’s why I hate guys our age…so immature. Like, you’re arguing and they just bring up random stuff to make you feel bad?”

  “Yeah…,” Bugz responded. She turned and stared into the mirror above the sink. She fiddled with her hair before running the water, splashing it on her face, and checking herself again. She looked like a mess.

  “He went crazy on you.” Stormy paused for a second and smiled. “Chalice was all ‘I told you so!’ ” Stormy’s laugh filled the room. “I’m sorry, but it was funny. Anyway, don’t let it get you down. He’s not thinking straight. I mean, how could he? Your brother’s in the hospital, and he pulls this?”

  Bugz nodded. Stormy stood behind her and smiled into the mirror. “Here, let me.” She took over from Bugz’s fiddling and started pulling Bugz’s hair into tight French braids. “Yeah, he went off on you. He must be really mad. Who knew games were so important?”

  “It’s more than just a game,” Bugz said emphatically. She searched Stormy’s eyes for understanding.

  “It’s the money, right?”

  “No. I still have everything I saved up.” Bugz paused. “You don’t understand. It’s not just a game. It’s my life.”

  Stormy scrunched her forehead.

  The wounded girl continued, “All the time I spent building myself up in the game, everything I created, everything I cared for in there—that’s the part you don’t understand.”

  “No, I do understand,” Stormy said, still deep in concentration over Bugz’s hair. She wet her finger under the faucet and corralled a few stray wisps along Bugz’s hairline. “I lost my beadwork in a fire two years ago. All of my fancy shawl regalia, actually.” She shook her head and went on. “But it was the beadwork that really got to me. I cried so hard!” Stormy smiled again. “Girl, I cried so hard I’d make your little meltdown here look like a pregame show!”

  Bugz grinned.

  Stormy picked up her train of thought again. “But yeah, losing that beadwork was really tough. It was like losing my first love or something.” Stormy focused intently on shaping Bugz’s braids perfectly. “No, really. That was the first set I beaded myself. I poured my heart into it. I worked on it all winter, and then I danced in it all summer, for two summers actually, and then, boom, it was gone.”

  Bugz thought of Waawaate. She swallowed.

  “My kookom taught me how to bead. She used to tell me, ‘Say a prayer with every bead you use.’ ” Stormy did her best grandma impression, even crouching and squinting slightly. “Kookom used to say, ‘Your beadwork is a sign of how much you are loved because someone took the time to sew every single bead, and to do it with a prayer, all for you.’ So I guess someone really must love you if you got beadwork, right? That’s why I bawled like crazy when it burned up, because of all the love that beadwork represented, and losing it meant I lost that love.” Stormy sighed. “My first love.”

  Bugz cried again, though for another reason now. Bugz thought of her relationship with Waawaate as beadwork. Each moment they spent together was a cut-glass bead stitched into the pattern of their lives. Every tear they’d shed together was another contour in a beautiful floral design. Every time she’d watched him working his magic on the pow-wow trail, at the traditional ceremonies, making people laugh, was another glimmering sphere woven into the fabric of her memory. Not only had they beaded regalia together, but it was the most beautiful regalia she’d ever seen—beautiful like the original shimmering jingle dress dancing its way into the dreams of her Ancestors. Now it was slipping away.

  “Waawaate is my best friend,” Bugz said. “Maybe my only friend.” She wiped tears from her eyes.

  “I’m your friend.” Stormy looped a hair tie around the end of the braid she’d finished.

  “Really?”

  “No, I’m just using you to get to Waawaate.” They both burst out laughing and Stormy set to work braiding the rest of Bugz’s hair.

  CHAPTER 50

  In the Floraverse, the rain fell sideways, forcing Mishi-pizhiw to squint. Bugz rode, blinded, on his back. A few times already, they’d narrowly avoided another encounter with Clan:LESS. Still, a final showdown with their mortal foes seemed inevitable.

  Worse yet, Bugz feared she wouldn’t see the attack coming.

  Bugz planned to rebuild her defenses. She envisioned creating an army of b
uffalo to storm across the prairies and join with a rebuilt fleet of Thunderbirds and an armada of sturgeon. But she didn’t have access to the nest at the bottom of Lake of the Torches to bring these visions to life. Without that, she needed time. And time was yet another thing she didn’t have.

  Bugz had been on the run ever since Feng led Clan:LESS to her, with never more than a few hours’ rest before she had to move again…barely enough time to turn on her bot and sleep, never mind rebuild a supernatural army. Exhaustion settled in. This is what my Ancestors must’ve felt like, Bugz thought to herself. She chuckled and shook her head as she realized she’d compared her pursuit through the Floraverse with the real-life genocide of the Americas. At least she could still laugh. Better than crying.

  The rain came down in sheets as Mishi-pizhiw approached a peninsula beyond which lay Castle Rock, a natural stone formation that rose several hundred feet into the sky. It looked almost like a proto-skyscraper shaped from massive columns of rock. Time for one last push forward. They passed the final corner, trees and rocks flying by on the shore.

  A massive flotilla of Clan:LESS warships, helicopters, and submarines waited for them in the bay. Scores of mega–Gatling guns lined the decks of aircraft carriers. All the way up Castle Rock stood countless tanks and turrets with guns trained on the water. Ever more helicopters continued to descend on the bay. Whatever firepower Clan:LESS had wielded at the last battle had increased a hundredfold. They’d armed themselves to the teeth.

  Mishi-pizhiw roared, partially to warn Bugz of the danger ahead and partially from pure exasperation. How did I miss this? Bugz wondered. The balance really has shifted. Bugz felt a tingling sensation orbit her spine, her paranoia manifest. She turned to look back over her shoulder. Dozens of choppers descended from the sky, boxing Bugz and Mishi-pizhiw in.

  “It’s going to take one helluva miracle for us to get out of here alive!” Bugz yelled to Mishi-pizhiw. He grunted in response. “Well, let’s not make it easy on them.” She gripped his head tightly and the giant horned serpent dove beneath the surface of the water. The submarines descended and fired torpedoes in Bugz’s direction.

  The battle began.

  CHAPTER 51

  Bugz steered Mishi-pizhiw away from the submarines and the barrage hit his long torso, inflicting little damage. He dove even deeper, a leviathan lurking beneath the submarine fleet, and began to pick up speed. With a quick turn, he rose and rammed the first sub into the second, into the third, and so on—until he had shattered them all like a tae kwon do master breaking planks of wood. He shook off the effects of the impact and swam toward the surface with Bugz still clinging to his back.

  On the waves above, aircraft carriers circled the area around which Mishi-pizhiw prepared to emerge. The helicopter gunners trained their weapons on the same spot. Alpha descended from one of the turrets on Castle Rock to watch the carnage up close. A hush fell over the Clan:LESS warriors. The calm before the storm. Even the rain stopped, and the sky began to clear.

  Mishi-pizhiw shot straight up from the water and climbed a hundred feet in the air. At this height, he paused, appeared to defy gravity for a moment, and turned sideways before starting his descent. He planned to crash-land onto the ships beneath. The mega–Gatling guns fired, as did the helicopter gunships. Instantly, Bugz could see something was wrong. The guns were doing serious damage to Mishi-pizhiw’s diamond plating. Clan:LESS had upgraded their weapons in a major way.

  Mishi-pizhiw writhed in pain. He landed heavily, destroying one of the aircraft carriers and a few smaller boats in the process, but he appeared badly hurt. As the craft sunk, Mishi-pizhiw slithered toward land. Bugz turned on his back and fired both of her guns at the wreckage behind her. A few moments later, hundreds of gamertags rose from the sunken vessels.

  “Mishi-pizhiw, you’re going to make it through this.” Bugz’s voice cracked. In desperation, and remembering the teachings of the Sweat Lodge, Bugz beseeched the stones that littered the shore: “Grandmother, Grandfather.” The rocks began to shake. They rose as Bugz conducted them into a swirling symphony above her head. With a gesture of her hands, she lobbed them toward the helicopters. They flew slowly and bounced off harmlessly as energy cannons fired back at her. “The rock thing is going to take me some time to master,” she said to her few remaining viewers as she and Mishi-pizhiw reached the shore.

  Bugz jumped down from Mishi-pizhiw and the pair tore off along the beach beneath Castle Rock. Helicopters flew over the treetops and fired on them. Bugz picked off the pilots one by one, but the gunners worked too fast. They pelted Mishi-pizhiw mercilessly. He shook furiously, transforming into his land form, and ran back along the beach and up the side of the mountain. He pounced on tanks along the way, throwing the wreckage down to the lake.

  Bugz froze for a second as she watched the beast’s awesome beauty. The sight of Alpha slowly training his energy cannon on Mishi-pizhiw snapped her out of it.

  “No!” She fired off several shots that knocked Alpha back. As Mishi-pizhiw turned to see what the commotion was about, helicopter gunfire crashed near Bugz and knocked her down.

  Mishi-pizhiw bounded down Castle Rock, taking fire and damage the whole way. Still, he snatched Bugz from the ground with his jaws and flung her onto his back. He ran through the shallows and leapt to the nearest aircraft carrier. He landed claws-first and tore up huge chunks of the tarmac. Then he leapt to the next carrier, leaving a similar trail of destruction before diving off into deeper waters.

  Mishi-pizhiw transformed into his water form and spirited Bugz away. Under the cover of a massive forest of seaweed, he swam her to the far side of the bay. There, amid the roots of the lily pads and bulrushes, Mishi-pizhiw locked eyes with Bugz. His giant catlike pupils pierced the center of her soul.

  Bugz thought of her mother. “I love you,” she whispered. The tears welled in Bugz’s eyes and dissolved in the virtual water of the lake. The giant beast motioned with his head for Bugz to stay.

  “I’m coming with you,” she protested. He simply shook his head no.

  Bugz and Mishi-pizhiw nuzzled their noses together as they breathed deeply and exhaled, sending bubbles upward. Bugz shuddered to the core of her being. The beast smiled a final time, turned, and sped toward the battle.

  From beneath the shallow waves, breathing through a water lily stalk so as not to send any more telltale bubbles to the surface, Bugz watched as Mishi-pizhiw launched a valiant assault on the Clan:LESS horde. The energy fire crashed into him as he roared to the heavens. He snatched a helicopter into his mouth and threw the chopper at another gunship, sending them both spiraling from the sky. He looped his serpentine body through the air over and over again, smashing dozens of boats and an aircraft carrier in the process. Through it all, his body was illuminated with gunfire and lasers. He coiled himself around his targets and dragged half a dozen tanks into the water with him. He surfaced and spun several times, taking more Clan:LESS machines with him as he corkscrewed through the air.

  From Bugz’s vantage point, the battle was all chaos: Mishi-pizhiw in motion, hundreds of gamertags flying to the sky, and the energy cannons raining fire down on her last remaining companion.

  Under a massive barrage of fire, and with a dramatic roar that shook the earth, the greatest beast the Floraverse had ever known fell to the beach with a thunderous blow, finally spent. Mishi-pizhiw’s eyes remained open, but they stared past Bugz as the energy cannons rained fire down on him for five minutes straight, interrupted only by the occasional rocket or torpedo. When the gunfire ended, Mishi-pizhiw’s dark form lay motionless, half ashore and half in the water, still smoldering. Tears flowed from Bugz’s eyes, turning the shallows in which she lay to salt water.

  Bugz remained submerged, breathing through the stalk as members of Clan:LESS took selfies with the body. She watched as the flotilla broke up and searched for her. She stayed hidden as they loaded the turrets, he
licopters, and submarines onto the aircraft carriers and sailed away. She watched the sun set. She saw the moon rise. Finally, after what felt like an eternity underwater, she swam across the bay.

  In the pale moonlight, Bugz walked slowly out of the water. The waves lapped gently against her legs as she approached her fallen friend. The reflection of the light above danced on the surf. She fell to her knees beside Mishi-pizhiw. She felt a sadness as old as life itself. She looked to the moon and felt only loneliness. Bugz looked back to the face of her old friend—one she’d created, and one who’d helped her rule this world. She caressed him softly.

  Bugz kissed Mishi-pizhiw goodbye.

  CHAPTER 52

  The young men of Clan:LESS marched through the forest near the Rez wearing their lumberjack shirts and ripped jeans. Though they were not in the ’Verse, most of them still wore Ø tattoos on their arms as a nod to their virtual identities. Their phones, completely illuminated, lit the night. They’d travelled from across the continent to cement their victory. Now they aimed to conquer the final half of the nexus.

  They alternated between chants of “She can never win! We must always win!” and “Clan! LESS! Clan! LESS!” Occasionally they’d break into boisterous yelling and laughter. Three dozen of them marched together. Though they represented only a small fraction of Clan:LESS’s rapidly growing membership, these were the highest-ranking officers of the clan that was not a clan.

  Finally, they pushed through the edge of the trees and came to the clearing the Behemoth had stumbled into only nights before. They roared in approval and hoisted their fists to the sky.

  One man, identifying himself as Gym—though considerably skinnier than his ’Versona—spoke up. “We’ve come here tonight to do one thing…finish the job!”

  The mob roared.

  “That’s right!” Gym jumped up onto the Thunderbird’s Nest and continued his speech. “We’ve already unlocked the power of unlimited resources in the ’Verse. And we’ve built up our skills. No one will ever catch up to us now.” He examined his troops and nodded his head. “So let’s destroy this monument to savagery! Let’s destroy it before it falls into the wrong hands. Let’s make our victory last forever!” He beat his chest.