Walking in Two Worlds

by Wab Kinew

  This bravado seemed to mask the real reason they wanted to destroy the Thunderbird’s Nest. The leaders of Clan:LESS had probably calculated they could not defend the real-world nest since it was so close to the Rez. They’d probably also figured any sort of sustained occupation would invite attention from the authorities, which they always wanted to avoid. So rather than contend with those problems, or allow anyone else to access the power of this sacred site, they’d decided to destroy it. “Let’s go!”

  The horde yelled their approval and began demolishing the Thunderbird’s Nest. They produced crowbars and worked in large teams to flip the biggest rocks and roll them away. The remaining soldiers grabbed smaller stones and threw them into the forest. They screamed and yelled. It was exhausting work, even for such a large group. One stone, boulder, and rock at a time, they destroyed the monument built by the Anishinaabe Ancestors thousands of years before.

  Bugz, surprised to see anyone in her place of solace, ran into the clearing. In the moonlight, she saw the desecration up close. She froze with rage.

  Before she could speak, Gym put his arm around Bugz’s shoulder and faked a smile. He called to the crowd, “Well, well, well, look who we have here! You’ll never guess who’s come to protect their secret hideout.” He played up the theatrics for the crowd. “What an honor!”

  “It’s Bugz!” an unseen clan member yelled from the darkness.

  “What do you say we get some payback on our little Bugz here, shall we?” With his arm still around Bugz, he walked her to a large nearby rock. With dozens of Clan:LESS members surrounding her, Bugz trembled. She didn’t know what to do other than go along with her tormentors. Gym sat down with her on a stone as wide across as a park bench. “What do you think, boys? She doesn’t look so scary in real life, does she?”

  “No, she doesn’t!” a voice yelled.

  “She’s chubby,” said another.

  “Classic catfish.”

  Bugz held her breath as she struggled against Gym’s grip. Looking around, she couldn’t see a path to escape. The horde was circling her now. She shook her shoulders free from his arm.

  “Whoa! We’ve got a live one!” Gym yelled. As Bugz stood to run away, three other members of Clan:LESS stepped forward to box her in along with Gym. As they inched closer and closer, Bugz unleashed a primal yell. She trembled, terrified the goons would hurt her. More Clan:LESS soldiers stepped forward to tighten the trap. She screamed again until her body shook.

  “You’re done,” said a disembodied voice. The man scolding her stepped through the crowd. Two Clan:LESS soldiers parted to make way for him. “You’re done.” He repeated the phrase over and over until she stopped yelling. Her voice felt hoarse. Bugz feared for her life. The man brought his bearded face to within inches of her own. They locked eyes. One green, one brown, Bugz thought. She ran through her memories of the Floraverse. Alpha.

  “You’re done,” Alpha said again, nodding his head. “We’ve got it all. We’ve destroyed this side of the nexus. We control the other side. We’ve killed your creatures.”

  “Help!” Bugz yelled.

  “No one can hear you,” Alpha continued, his mouth just inches from her face.

  The horde egged him on.

  “Get away from me,” Bugz fumed.

  Alpha grabbed her phone from her hands. He thrust it in her face. The phone scanned her features and, recognizing Bugz, unlocked itself. Alpha pulled the phone back and, with a few taps, deleted her Floraverse account. Everything she’d accomplished was gone. She lunged forward, but he sidestepped her and swiped through her messages.

  “There, that wasn’t so difficult now, was it?” Alpha grinned. “I don’t want to hear you complain about starting over. We’ve all had to do it. Fair is fair.”

  The mob snickered.

  “Screw you!” Bugz cried.

  “Keep yelling,” Alpha responded. “I want to see if anyone comes.” He turned to examine his supporters. “Fellas, what do you think? Is anyone coming for her?” With a self-satisfied expression, he scanned the crowd. “I don’t know what’s sadder—the way she looks now or the fact the traitor ain’t coming to save her.”

  The members of Clan:LESS laughed and turned to leave, high-fiving each other. Alpha tossed her phone into the dirt. The horde picked up their tools and marched back into the forest.

  Bugz dove forward to grab her phone and collapsed against the largest boulder remaining in the clearing. She could still hear the clan whooping and chanting her name as the voices and phone flashlights disappeared into the darkness. Through tears, she raised her phone. She already knew her ’Versona and everything it unlocked was erased, but she held out hope that some part of the nest’s power remained. She set up a new account, launched AR mode, and examined the ruins that littered the clearing.

  Her screen showed nothing. Not even a spark. The magic was gone.

  CHAPTER 53

  Feng stared at the basic ’Versona on the screen of his phone. No muscles, no guns, no Clan:LESS tattoo. This is what Bugz had reduced him to. He checked his messages and saw they were still full of hate mail. He sighed in frustration and tossed the phone on the couch beside him.

  Liumei stood up from the table where she’d been reviewing digital medical forms. “Everything alright?”

  “It’s fine.” Feng leaned back with a scowl.

  “Teenage heartbreak got you down?” Liumei said with a smile. She sat down on the far end of the couch.

  “I don’t love her. Not after what she did to me.”

  “Bugz has a lot going on, Feng. Her brother is sick.”

  “So you’re taking her side?”

  “No, I’m not taking sides, Feng. I’m just pointing it out.” Liumei shifted to face Feng more fully. “So what happened?”

  “She killed me.” Feng paused to make sure Liumei understood he meant in the ’Verse. “It’s messed up. It’s the second time she’s eliminated me. And like I told you before, it takes forever to get back to the Spirit World once you respawn. I’m basically a noob.”

  “Why’d she ‘kill’ you?” Liumei asked using air quotes.

  “Clan:LESS destroyed everything she created online, and she claims I led them to her. But I didn’t know they put a tracking device on me. She cut my head off!” Feng felt Liumei studying him. Self-consciously, he tried to relax his face to appear less angry.

  Liumei spoke. “I don’t know what most of that means, but I do know how much Bugz’s creations meant to her.” She brushed a few stray hairs from her eyes. “That must’ve really hurt her.”

  Feng sat silently.

  “I just got a text. I’ve got to run to the hospital.” Liumei stood and gathered her bag. Halfway out the door, she stopped and turned back to Feng. “Feng, I don’t think she should’ve cut your head off. God, that sounds weird to say. But if you really care about her, you’ve got to work this out, together.”

  Feng huffed. With this, Liumei granted his wish and left him alone. He stewed in his thoughts a moment before reaching for his phone. Examining his pathetic ’Versona, he hatched a plan to accelerate his return to the Spirit World.

  CHAPTER 54

  Waawaate inhaled slowly, his body working hard to expand and contract his lungs. His brow furrowed above closed eyes. His chest paused at the height of his aspiration as though he strained to hear a message, some secret communication that might make his path easier. His body relaxed and slowly his torso sank back toward the hospital bed. A short pause and the cycle started again. He shifted in place and grunted with the effort.

  A nurse pressed buttons and checked the readings on the various machines that pumped, whizzed, and whirred around Waawaate’s body. She quickly scanned a chart and continued with her work.

  “What happened?” Bugz asked, seated on the bed beside her brother’s feet.

  “It
’s one of the chemo drugs they gave him.” Bugz’s mom spoke up, appearing not to see anything except for the patch of hospital blanket immediately in front of her. “A really bad side effect. They switched the drug, but who knows at this point.” She teared up and inhaled deeply. “Sing, Bugz. Sing that healing song you know.”

  Bugz looked to her feet and searched her memory. After a breath, her sharp, melodic voice cut through the stale, tense air in the hospital room. “Eniwek igo kiga’onji-pimaadiz ndiwe’igan…,” she began. Through my drum you will live just that much more. Bugz belted out the prayer song, absolutely shredding the air with a voice as clear and beautiful as it was pristine in its intention to make her brother well again. “Hey ya wey, ya eh, ya ho, we yo ho wey…” She punctuated each vocable with a burning desperation. Perhaps if she nailed this song, the Creator would have mercy on her brother. She sang the song four times through, more loudly and soulfully with each repetition.

  When Bugz finished, the song’s melody seemed to reverberate in the air for a second. Soon enough, though, it dissipated, leaving those assembled, including Waawaate, in silence. He did not move. His EKG pulsed. Finally, he stirred and woke slowly. Tears flowed to the brim of Bugz’s eyes but did not fall down her cheek. Her eyes reddened. Through my drum, you will live just a little bit longer.

  Bugz’s father smiled. “Waawaate, you’re a heck of a warrior, my boy.”

  “I could hear Bugz singing.” Waawaate stretched with some effort. “Off-key.” He laughed, and everyone else smiled.

  “I’d tell you to shut up if you weren’t so weak,” Bugz replied, a genuine look of happiness spreading across her face.

  “Still strong enough to take you out, even in the ’Verse.” Suddenly, Waawaate grimaced.

  “What’s the matter, son?” Bugz’s mother asked.

  “Nothing, I just have no energy. Just talking and moving around, I feel totally—” He started to wheeze, and lost himself to a fit of dry coughs.

  The nurse rubbed his back. “I’m going to see if we can give you something else to help with the pain.” Waawaate nodded with his eyes closed as she exited the room, leaving the Holiday clan in silence.

  Bugz’s dad finally spoke. “You gotta watch that stuff. It can take you out. Too many painkillers.”

  “I tell you what, I never thought I’d say this, but that doesn’t sound so bad right now,” Waawaate responded. The smile disappeared from Bugz’s face.

  Her mother sighed and brushed the hair from Waawaate’s forehead. “Don’t talk like that, baby. You’re fighting this and we’re going to help you. But you’ve got to have hope.”

  “I do have hope, but it’s tough. The medicine they gave me only made me sicker. The Anishinaabe medicine didn’t help either. I don’t want to give up, but I don’t want to just fade away into nothing either.”

  Bugz’s tears now found their way down her cheeks. One crept into her mouth. She registered the salty taste. It was easier to process that sensation than what her brother spoke of. Waawaate’d always been her hero, her protector, her source of laughs during a tough time. And now here he is about to…she refused to complete the thought.

  “It’s okay to feel like that, son,” Bugz’s dad said. “Back in the day, they actually had a traditional medicine for what you’re talking about. The old ones would allow it in cert—”

  “What?!” Bugz stood, fresh tears tracing a path on her cheeks. “How can you talk like that?”

  “Relax, Buggy, I’m just trying to reassure him. You and your mom are always telling me to validate people’s feelings first…”

  Bugz turned and stormed out of the room.

  “Of course I’m gonna tell him not to do it. He has to fight…” Frank’s words trailed off as Bugz rounded the corner into the hospital hallway. She pulled out her phone. It reflected the neon lights overhead as she launched a messaging app.

  “Can you meet me at the hospital?” Bugz texted Stormy.

  “Yeah what’s up?”

  “I’ll tell you when you get here ”

  “Aww ”

  CHAPTER 55

  Feng walked into the clearing, stunned by what he saw. The Thunderbird’s Nest was no more. One large rock lay near a tree, another at the edge of the woods. Smaller stones were strewn everywhere. He wondered for a moment whether he was lost, but he pulled out his phone and confirmed this was where the nest should’ve been. He couldn’t believe it.

  Feng scanned the entirety of the clearing through his phone to confirm the damage. Where once this place had pulsed with ribbons of energy so intense they lit up his phone’s entire screen, now he could see nothing. The respawn point was no more. Feng realized, with some disappointment, he’d have to find another way to accelerate his ’Versona’s return to the Spirit World.

  As he lowered his phone, another thought entered his head. He pictured himself working tirelessly for the rest of the day to reassemble the stone circle.

  Quickly, and with seemingly divine inspiration, Feng jogged to the large stone near the tree and tried to lift it. Nothing. He crouched beside it and tried to push it. His feet slid away from the stone and he nearly fell forward. He chastised himself for lacking Herculean strength. He found a large stick nearby and tried to use it as a lever to roll the rock over. He grunted. Just as he felt he might move the stone, the stick snapped and nearly impaled him. Hopping to the side of the splintering wood, Feng sighed at the truth. He would not assemble the Thunderbird’s Nest on this day. He gained a new respect for Bugz’s Ancestors.

  Feng wiped his brow and looked to the sky. A cloud cast a long shadow over him. Suddenly, the rays of the sun burst through the cloud and shone brilliantly. For a fraction of a second, he could not see. But when his vision returned, he was moved.

  A feeling formed in the pit of Feng’s stomach as he examined the cloud ensnaring the sun. In its center, as though pierced, was a hole through which the light shone. A moment later, the wind carried the cloud forward. It obscured the sun and covered the land in shadow again. Nonetheless, Feng knew what it meant.

  A hole in the day.

  As the wind picked up, Feng decided to make things right with Bugz. He turned and ran back toward the Rez.

  CHAPTER 56

  As Bugz approached the hospital exit, she pictured Waawaate smiling. She pictured them dancing at a pow-wow together. She pictured beadwork. She pictured flames consuming her happy memories, leaving only ash and pain behind. The doors slid apart and the cool damp air wrapped itself around her. Stormy arrived a short time later.

  “How’s it going?” she asked.

  Bugz shook her head in response. The corners of her mouth became too heavy to lift. She didn’t want to speak. She just kept shaking her head.

  “Aww, you poor thing.” Stormy pulled her in for a hug. Tears welled in Stormy’s eyes too. As they walked across the street to the picnic table, Stormy reached for Bugz’s hand. Bugz felt the warmth of her touch and thought of Feng. She shook her head as Stormy led her to the table and sat down.

  They reminisced about Waawaate. They repeated the cheap joke Chalice had made at the pow-wow about whistling at the northern lights. They laughed at Stormy’s genuine fear of someone calling the aurora down to earth.

  “ ’Member? You were so scared,” Bugz said through smiling eyes.

  “Don’t even start!”

  Their laughter trailed off. Bugz felt a looming dread creeping up behind her.

  “It’s so messed up that he wants to leave us…,” Bugz observed herself saying. “I mean, of anyone on the Rez, Waawaate is the one out of all of us who is actually living. He should live forever.”

  “You’re right about that,” Stormy murmured. She sighed.

  “What?” Bugz noticed something in the other girl’s demeanor.

  “Nothing.”

  “No, you look l
ike you’re thinking of something.”

  Stormy paused for too long to be able to dismiss the idea. The dread crept closer.

  “What is it?” Bugz asked.

  “Do you believe what the old people say about onjine? About patai’itiwin?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Like onjine means karma, right? And patai’itiwin is karma too, except what goes around comes back around to your kid instead of you?”

  “What are you getting at, Stormy?”

  “Just…I heard my grandma and some others talking about Waawaate being sick. They were saying it’s because your dad used to be pretty bad when he was younger. Fights and stuff. Drinking. Do you ever wonder if…” Stormy slowed as a scowl settled on Bugz’s face. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

  Bugz thought for a moment. “That’s messed up, Stormy. My dad would never do anything to hurt Waawaate.” In spite of the defense she mounted, a seed of doubt had been planted in Bugz’s mind. “I’m gonna go for a walk. Sorry to waste your time.”

  “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Stormy scanned Bugz’s expression. “I’ll wait here for a bit in case you want to talk some more.”

  Bugz walked across a gravel parking lot opposite the picnic table. She noticed her father’s empty truck parked with the windows rolled down. Her memory of how he’d counseled her brother about making his final journey played on the raw wound Stormy had just inflicted.

  “Hey, Buggy,” her father’s voice called out behind her.