Secrets

by Steel, Danielle

  Gabby smiled bleakly. But everyone else won't. The crew will hate me if they ever hear about it. And I've been so careful in Hollywood, and now because of that stupid party, everyone will know. I tried to tell my mother that she had tears in her eyes as she remembered the futile exchanges she just doesn't understand. She thinks it's something to be proud of. But I'm not. It's been a pain in the ass all my life, and now it's going to ruin my career after two years of killing myself to make it on my own.

  And you have, so what's the big deal? Jane was both motherly and philosophical as she put an arm around her.

  Did you hear what Warwick said this morning? He asked me if I was slumming. And that's just the beginning.

  He's just being a kid, Gabby. He's impressed and he's probably jealous. He doesn't know how to react to it. And neither will anyone else, unless you show them. Just let them know that this is what's important to you and forget the rest. But I still think it's nice to have all that behind you. She thought of how dependent she had been on Jack Adams for twenty years, how frightened and browbeaten by the sadistic bastard. That would never happen to Gabby. Be grateful for it, and don't hide it. There's no shame in coming from a family like that. She laughed. Everyone's embarrassed about something, most people it's that their family isn't fancy enough. You, you think yours is too fancy. You can't win, can you? Gabrielle laughed and Jane gave her a squeeze, but it was no shield from the barbs that began to rain on her by lunchtime. By the time they came back from their break and moved to the offices at IBM, everyone had seen the photograph of Gabrielle with her father, and read the piece, and some of the remarks were funny, but most were unkind and Sabina's was the worst as they set up for a scene in the lobby.

  No wonder you got the job, Gabby, she beamed evilly. Talk about typecasting ' does Mel know your father? She moved away then to have the makeup people freshen her makeup and Gabby had to turn away to hide tears. She could have killed Bill Warwick for starting it by telling Zack, but they probably would have seen it anyway. And Sabina would have told them. She even mentioned it to Mel with a vicious little laugh that afternoon, and he felt sorry for the girl. He called her that night, when she got back to her hotel. And it was a long time before she answered the phone, and when she did, her voice was husky.

  Yes?

  Hi, Gabby, it's Mel. I'm sorry about what happened today. It was just rotten.

  She sighed as her lip trembled. Yeah ' no big deal' . But she could hardly talk through her tears. She had been through it so often before, but it hurt anyway. They spoiled all her fun. And now she knew she would be cast as Miss Rich Bitch forever. I'm used to it.

  It hurts anyway. And I'm sorry about Sabina. The trouble is, sweetheart, they're all jealous. They'd all love to come from a family like that and have that kind of money and background behind them. They can't even imagine it, and to them this is the only living they've got.

  I know. But I work just as hard as they do. She sniffed and he wished he could put his arms around her. She was just a little younger than his daughters would have been, had they lived. And she was a nice girl. It wasn't fair for all of them to torment her. By the end of the day, a hundred and thirty people had been talking about it, and probably a third of them, if not half, had made inappropriate comments. It was like a nightmare. And all because she'd gone to a party at her parents' house, and it had wound up in the papers.

  You probably work harder, Gabby. And that irks them even more. You don't have to, but you do. They fantasize that if they had parents like yours, they'd sit on their asses and eat chocolates, and hell, who knows, maybe they resent you because you don't. Maybe it annoys them that you don't fit their image of the fairy princess. Instead you want to work in the coal mines with the rest of them. And they want you up there on the throne in a pink tutu. The image made her laugh in spite of herself, and she felt better. In any case, they're like kids. In two weeks they'll forget about it and they'll be talking about somebody's new contract, or somebody else's affair, and they won't give a damn what your last name is. Believe me, they have the memory span of very small insects. Kind of like roaches. She laughed again and she was grateful to him. She had been so down. And Jane had gone to the airport to pick up her daughters, so she had no one to cheer her up. And that son of a bitch Bill ' she would have liked to kill him' . Can I interest you in some dinner by the way? We could go to Gino's for some pasta.

  That's okay. I just thought I'd go to bed early. It's been kind of a rough day.

  Have you eaten?

  No, but I'm not really hungry.

  Nonsense. You have to eat, otherwise you'll get sick in this miserable weather. I'll pick you up in half an hour.

  No, Mel, really '

  This is your producer speaking. Be downstairs. I'll be there at eight fifteen. He hung up the phone, and turned as Sabina came into the room in a green velvet dressing gown the color of her eyes, and gold high-heeled slippers trimmed with feathers.

  Who was that? She glanced at the diamond watch he had bought her the week before, and began wondering what they were going to do for dinner.

  It was Gabby. Mel sighed, and sat back on the couch, admiring the exquisite woman walking toward him. She was a pleasure to look at, night and day. Even at four in the morning, she was both beautiful and sexy. Poor kid. They gave her a rough time today. He didn't accuse Sabina, but they both knew she had been the worst offender.

  Sabina shrugged. She deserved it.

  How can you say a thing like that? Mel looked unhappy. She's a sweet girl, she's actually damn good at what she does, and she never gives anyone a bad time.

  She's taking work away from people who need it. He was surprised at how bitter Sabina sounded.

  Maybe she needs it too. For her soul, for her sense of self-worth. It isn't just a matter of money. You know that. She loves what she does, and she's good at it.

  Then let her do it for the Junior League. She doesn't belong in the business.

  You mean that, don't you? He was stunned, and wondered how many others felt like her. Probably too many.

  She nodded, without embarrassment. I do mean it. There are those of us who have fought long and hard to get where we are, we've hung on by our fingernails, we've starved, we've survived, we've done everything we have to. And we deserve to make it. She's been playing at it for two years, and two years from now, she'll marry some playboy with a name like Courtney or Funston and she'll get married and move to Park Avenue or Palm Beach and have babies. Meanwhile, she's taken a slice of our share, and I don't see why she should. Sabina walked to the bar and expertly mixed herself a martini, eyeing him over her drink, as he looked at her with disappointment and displeasure.

  That's not a very generous attitude, Sabina.

  I'm not always a very generous person. And she wasn't afraid to admit it to him or anyone. And I don't like frauds. And she is. She's masquerading as a church mouse, and the fact is she's a dizzy debutante gone Hollywood. I told you she was hiding something. She's a fraud.

  I wouldn't call her that. He stood up as Sabina watched. And she's a damn fine actress.

  Where are you going? She wondered if she had really offended him, but if she had, it was too bad. She was who she was, and she never made excuses for it.

  I'm taking the dizzy debutante to dinner, because when I called her she was crying in her hotel room.

  Send her a box of tissues, she'll get over it.

  Stop pretending to be so heartless. She's no threat to you. She's a kid. You're a star. And a great one. He knew how to handle them both and Sabina smiled at him.

  Thank you. And what am I supposed to do while you play Red Cross to little Miss Boo-Hoo?

  Whatever you like, my love. He kissed her neck, and looked into the green eyes that entranced him. You said you didn't want to go out anyway, that you were too tired. That's why I asked her. Sabina shrugged. He was right. But she wasn't crazy about his having dinner with Gabby. She was twenty years younger after all, and not entirely bad-looking. N
ot only that, apparently she had a handsome fortune. But so did Mel, although it was of his own making and that was never quite the same.

  Just see that you behave, she teased, but she wasn't worried. They had something pretty fantastic going between them.

  By the way. He glanced over his shoulder at her, as he went to get his coat. I forgot to tell you I chartered a boat for us in the Bahamas, over Christmas. But he was startled by the look in her eyes. She didn't look pleased, and he couldn't understand it. Something wrong?

  She hesitated, and carefully set down her martini. I have to go back to California.

  For four days?

  I've already made plans.

  I see. He couldn't resist turning to her as he stood in the doorway. I would have thought that the last few weeks would have superseded that, Sabina. I seem to be mistaken.

  I'm sorry, Mel. There was something sad in her eyes, but she offered no explanation.

  So am I. He was quiet as he rode uptown in the limousine, to pick Gabby up for dinner.

  Chapter 18

  Jane's daughters rode downtown with her in the limousine the next morning, with Gabrielle, complaining about the hour. For them it was even earlier, as they hadn't adjusted to New York time yet. And Gabby was shocked by how unpleasant they were to their mother. After all her delight at seeing them again, they were barely civil to her. And they talked constantly about their father, as though he were some kind of god.

  They appeared to be both rude and spoiled, and they had obviously been heavily programmed by their father. It began to seriously annoy Gabrielle by the time they got downtown. She had never seen two girls be so unpleasant to their mother, but she had very little contact with teen-age girls in her daily life, she herself was an only child, most of her friends had no children at all, and the only one who did had a two-year-old boy.

  But Alexandra and Alyssa were something else. The only thing that shut them up finally was when Zack Taylor gave them his autograph, and then they spent the rest of the morning staring at Bill, and whispering to each other and giggling. But even that didn't endear them to Gabrielle. She thought they were brats, and was almost tempted to say so, but she didn't want to hurt Jane's feelings.

  But Bill annoyed Gabby even more than the girls when he made another crack at her when they broke for lunch. He asked her if she was going to La Grenouille or La C+te Basque, or perhaps it was going to be the Colony Club or Quo Vadis. And for some reason, she decided she had had it. She turned to him with blazing eyes and grabbed his arm so hard it surprised him as he stepped back.

  Listen, you weak son of a bitch, I'm surprised you've stopped feeling sorry for yourself long enough to even notice anyone else, let alone worry about where I eat. And when I need advice from you, about my acting, or my social life, I'll ask for it. In the meantime, just shove it, mister, or I'm going to let you have it. She stood barely more than five feet two inches tall, and he was so startled he grinned, and so did Zack and Mel standing nearby. Mel was pleased. His pep talk had obviously worked the night before. She stalked off to her trailer, but he could see by her walk that she was feeling better. He had stayed with her until almost midnight, and taken her to hear Bobby Short after their pasta dinner. And when he got back to his own hotel, Sabina had been sound asleep. And they had made no mention of their respective Christmas plans that morning. He had decided to keep the chartered boat anyway, and to hell with her. If she wanted to see someone else, let her. They had made no promises to each other, but somehow he had expected her to be more loyal to him than that. It was as though she was trying to prove a point, that he didn't own her. He still wanted her to go with him, but he wasn't going to beg, and she hadn't offered to change her plans.

  The rest of the shooting went smoothly, and two days later, they all disbanded for Christmas. Mel flew to Nassau to meet the boat he had chartered for the week, and Zack and Sabina took separate limousines to the airport. They met at the gate to the flight to L.A., and they chatted for a moment, but they took separate seats in first class, and neither seemed anxious for the companionship of the other. They each had plenty to think about, and Sabina noticed with interest that he was met in Los Angeles by a man of approximately Zack's own age, and they drove away in Zack's Rolls-Royce, which the other man had brought to meet him, as Sabina stood wondering what their relationship was. She still had her suspicions about Zack Taylor.

  She herself went home for the night. The next morning she took a plane to San Francisco.

  The crew stayed in New York for Christmas. It would have been too expensive and complicated to fly them all home, and they had made plenty of plans. Before he left, Mel had organized a party for them at Maxwell's Plum, and Gabby ran into Bill there, despite all her efforts to avoid him.

  Slumming again? He was slightly drunk, and he looked pale. But Gabrielle had no idea what was really bothering him as he sneered at her, and she was sick to death of him as their eyes met and hers blazed into his.

  Why don't you get off my back? she muttered as she disappeared into the crowd. He had tried to track Sandy down by phone all afternoon, but to no avail. Nobody knew where she was and he had given up.

  Merry Christmas to you too, princess. She was beginning to dread working with him. And if the show was a success, that would be even worse. She'd have to put up with him for another season. But her evening with Mel had done her good. She had decided not to take any guff from Bill or anyone, and she had a feisty look about her as she made her way through the crowd at the bar to Jane, standing with the girls. Alexandra was clearly impressed by the decor, although she wouldn't admit it to Jane, and Alyssa was finally warming up. Gabby found herself wondering how Jane put up with them at all. They talked constantly about their dad, as though he were perfect. He was skiing with their brother in Sun Valley, they said, and Alex actually had the gall to say she was sorry she hadn't gone with him.

  Really? Gabby opened her eyes wide. I'm surprised you think so. Sun Valley is so dull. Kind of tacky too. She smiled. To hell with them, she thought to herself. Jane was too good for them. Do you come to New York a lot? She was turning the knife a little bit, and Alex squirmed, admitting it was the first time with embarrassment. I guess your mom will be coming here a lot, now that she's such a big star. We'll probably be shooting on location in Europe next year. There had been talk about it for a while, but it was just talk, and Alyssa's eyes grew wide with excitement.

  Really? Mom, can we come? She sounded like a little girl, and Jane smiled at her. It was obvious that she adored them.

  We'll see, sweetheart. It depends if it's when you're in school or not.

  And then suddenly, Gabby had an idea. She looked at Jane, past the girls. Would you like to come to my family's for Christmas Eve? She had just given in to her mother that afternoon. There was no point fighting them now, and she knew it would please her dad if she was there, and she had nothing else to do, She hadn't been home for Christmas for three years. And her mother had been thrilled. They were just having a few friends, as they always did. And this time Gabby knew a few meant no more than ten. And there was plenty of room for three more. If they wanted her, they had to accept her friends. She would have invited Bill too, if he hadn't been such a jerk. But he was, so she didn't.

  Jane looked touched that she asked. Are you sure we wouldn't be imposing on a family affair?

  Not at all. And I could use a few people on my team. She lowered her voice. I hate going home. It's always such a strain. Jane envied her as she thought of it, her own parents had been dead for years, and this year she didn't even have Jack ' or their son ' but at least she had the girls.

  We'd love to come, if you're sure your parents wouldn't mind.

  They'd be thrilled. It was bending the truth a little bit, but Gabby felt better going home on Christmas Eve, with Jane and the girls. They went to the apartment on Fifth Avenue in a limousine, and a light snow had just begun to fall. Jane started singing White Christmas on the way, and the spirit was contagious as Ga
bby and the girls started to sing with her.

  One of the maids was stationed at the door, taking coats, and Gabby cringed a little inside, as she saw Jane's eyes widen at the opulent decor. It was one thing reading about the Thornton-Smiths, and another visiting them. There was the usual overdecorated tree, perfectly done in silver and green, with antique German angels hanging on it and little knots of fruit, stretching up to the second floor, and the enormous living room filled with Louis XV furniture looked sumptuous and elegant as Gabrielle's mother walked quickly toward her and gave her a kiss, shook Jane's hand, and introduced her to everyone as one of the actresses in Gabby's show. Gabby blushed, but she was pleased when her father made a fuss over them, and there were even little gifts for them, when they went into the dining room. The table was set for fourteen, and their closest friends were there, the Armstrongs, the Marshalls, old Mrs. Hampton, the Proctors, and William Squire Hunt. They were people Jane had read about and it was all a little bit like a dream, being there with them. Charlotte was wearing a heavily beaded red satin evening gown, and Gabby had worn dark green, a dress her mother had sent her from Bendel's after all, and not one of her evening gowns from the show. Jane had worn an exquisite taupe chiffon Brac, and she looked magnificent, and the girls looked innocent and sweet. It was a storybook night, and they sang carols afterwards and sat by the fire, and Gabby was actually glad she had come. Her father read from A Christmas Carol, as he did every year, and there was brandy and buttered rum and eggnog. The entire evening was a feast, and Jane was actually sad to leave when they finally did. She and Charlotte had gotten along extremely well. They chatted about Hollywood, and Charlotte was fascinated, as were the other guests.

  You'll have to come and see us on the set while we're here, Jane urged, and for once, Gabrielle didn't even cringe.

  I'd love to. Charlotte was thrilled, and promised to come down the following week. The two women kissed, and Gabrielle kissed her parents good night, and yawned as they got into the car waiting downstairs. She sat back against the seat next to Jane, and looked like one of the girls.