Tidings of Love

by Alicia Hunter Pace

  She squinted her eyes as she thought, and her mouth turned a bit to the side. If he thought playing their game would help get his mind off of the way she’d look in a party dress, he was wrong. When she concentrated, he wanted to lean over and kiss those twisty lips. “Hmm. Look at his shifty eyes and the way he’s cradling that briefcase. He’s definitely hiding something.” She sipped her beer and tapped her fingertips on the table. “Oh! I’ve got it. He’s meeting her.” She pointed to a blonde sitting alone with a glass of wine. “He works for a cosmetics company, and he stole a new mascara formula to impress her. She’s just using him, but he doesn’t realize it yet. He thinks if he gets the formula for her, she’ll start to see him as a man of mystery. He’s in for a big disappointment.”

  “How sad for him.”

  By the time they’d polished off the pitcher of beer, Rebecca seemed happier and more relaxed. They bundled up and made their way back to their apartment building, trudging through the snow, weaving through the holiday shopping crowds, and laughing together.

  “Want to come up? We can order Chinese, play a little Scrabble?” Ben asked as he pressed the elevator button for the tenth floor.

  “Sure. That’s probably better than wallowing alone in my apartment with the pint of ice cream that’s waiting for me and worrying about work.”

  Ben unlocked his apartment and let Rebecca in, watching with amusement as she carelessly dropped her gloves, scarf, and coat in a heap on a chair. He hung his coat up in the front closet and handed her a takeout menu. “Your choice tonight.”

  She took the menu. “Hmm, free drinks, now dinner. I have to say, I am really enjoying this. I should have horrible weeks more often.” She grinned up at him and he found himself grinning back, certain there was a goofy look on his face.

  Ben pulled himself together and made his way through the apartment to his kitchen while she settled down on his couch with the menu. The truth was it was just an excuse for him to pamper her. If Ben had his way, he would treat her like this every day for the rest of her life. He had entertained crushes on Rebecca several times throughout their friendship, but nothing ever came of them. Any time he got close to confessing his feelings, she would say or do something to stop him, almost as though she knew it was coming and was afraid.

  If history was any indication, he could expect to suffer through unrequited love for a while, and when it passed, their friendship would become bearable again. He just had to wait it out. The thought of losing her altogether was enough to make him keep his romantic feelings secret, no matter how painful it became. Surely, it would pass.

  Rebecca sat curled up on his couch, her feet tucked under her, and she reached out as he approached. She took the diet soda he offered, but for a fleeting moment he imagined that she was holding out her arms for him. He sank into the couch next to her and passed the stereo remote control to her. “Find something good.”

  She took the remote and began flipping through the stations, finally settling on classic rock, and he set up the Scrabble board on the coffee table in front of them. She put her feet in Ben’s lap, and he rubbed them through her soft socks, falling into their routine without thinking.

  “It’s decided. From now on, I’m coming straight over whenever I have a bad day. I feel better already.” She flexed her feet and relaxed. A contented sigh escaped her lips and landed straight in his gut.

  They set up their racks of letter tiles in companionable silence, but Ben was acutely aware of Rebecca. He could hear her breath, smell her fragrance, and feel the heat from her body. It was torturous, and when the takeout delivery guy arrived, Ben welcomed him with more enthusiasm than was necessary. If she noticed that he was jumping at any chance to distract himself when they got close, she didn’t say anything. He served her at his coffee table so they could settle in and play while they ate dinner, and he excused himself to wash his hands. When he came back, she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, already tucked into her plate of noodles. She looked up at him as she slurped a noodle through her pursed lips and grinned.

  “Sorry, I couldn’t wait. Hope you don’t find my garlic breath too offensive tonight.”

  You’re perfect to me. If you only knew. Ben joined her on the floor and served himself. “I’m just glad you saved some for me.”

  “Hey!” She punched his shoulder lightly, and he thought to himself that he could very happily spend the rest of his life like this, sitting beside her, eating Chinese food. When they finished dinner, they each took a fortune cookie and cracked them open.

  Rebecca unfurled her fortune and read aloud. “’Someone is secretly in love with you.’ Hmm…maybe it’s Richard!”

  Ben rolled his eyes. “Probably. I’m sure he’s thinking of ways to let his fiancée down easy as we speak,” he teased. He read his own fortune and thought to himself how true the words were. “Good things take time.” He only wished it didn’t take so much time. Of course, he had no intention of sharing his developing feelings with her. Not yet anyway, not while he could still bear to keep his secret. Their friendship was everything to him, and if keeping her in his life as nothing more than a friend meant that he didn’t get everything he wanted, that’s how it had to be.

  Chapter Three

  Another crappy morning at the office topped off by minimal progress had Rebecca in a foul mood when she locked the door to her laboratory and trudged to the mailroom. She spied a beautifully wrapped package in her mail cubby and her spirits lifted a bit as she untied the ribbon and opened it. She pulled an impossibly soft scarf in her absolute favorite shade of robin’s egg blue out of the box and held it to her cheek. It would go perfectly with her grey wool coat, and with temperatures dropping every day, it was a much-appreciated gift. Her Secret Santa must know her well, or at least visit Ben’s office for hints fairly often.

  Her mood lightened, she headed out of her department and went to meet Ben for lunch. The beautiful bead bracelet from her Secret Santa clacked on her wrist as she left the office, and the new paperback she received the week before sat in her bag, waiting for a quiet moment when she could indulge. She had almost given up on trying to figure out who had her name, because she couldn’t think of anyone at work who knew her so well. It was as though every gift had been chosen by her best friend. Speaking of, maybe the gift giver had enlisted Ben’s help. And maybe she could wheedle the information out of him. He worked in a different department, but it would be just like him to help her Secret Santa choose just the right gifts for her.

  Rebecca paused by the front desk to say goodbye to a coworker when her supervisor, Jeff, came barreling down the hallway, his eyes trained on her and an interoffice envelope in his hand. She forgot all about her Secret Santa as he pushed the door open and called her into a last-minute meeting. Her latest lab test results were in, though she hadn’t expected them until the next morning. This could either be really good or really bad. Either way, it was probably going to be another late night. She texted Ben as she trudged back into the office, thinking to herself how much she’d rather be anywhere than at work.

  • • •

  Hours later, Rebecca perched on the barstool and drank in the sophisticated atmosphere, letting the twinkling lights from the chandelier and the soft murmur of the crowd wash over her. They’d foregone the sticky-floored charm of O’Reilly’s in favor of enjoying celebratory cocktails at her favorite restaurant. Ben’s eyes twinkled in the low light as he lifted his drink to her and offered a toast. “Here’s to my favorite chemist—Beauty and brains, all in one awesome package. Congratulations.”

  She took a sip and lowered her eyes. “Aw, thanks. I’m more relieved than anything, to tell you the truth. I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever get it right, and I could tell that Jeff was worried too.”

  Ben took a pull from his beer and patted her knee, sending a shot of warmth through her. If she was going to make it through the evening without climbing onto his lap, it was time to get her feelings under control.

  Feeling
attracted to Ben wasn’t new for Rebecca. Throughout their friendship, she had fallen in and out of love with him several times. Their friendship was sacred, the one thing in both of their lives that they would do anything to protect. Giving in to her attraction had always seemed too risky. As long as she didn’t admit her feelings to him, she had the comfort of the possibility of a future together. By not getting into an actual relationship, she didn’t have to worry about what would happen if it didn’t work out.

  He’d ordered their favorite appetizer to share, and she sat bolt upright when she realized that she was staring as she listened to him talk to the bartender, lulled by his gorgeous low voice. This was getting ridiculous. She shifted on her chair to avoid any incidental contact and sipped her drink.

  “So, of course I won’t understand all the scientific details, but tell me what happened at the lab.”

  He angled his body to face her, and she was struck by how much of himself Ben gave to her. Most of the guys she ended up going out with used their dates as little more than an opportunity to talk about themselves and try to get her into bed. Ben was different, always had been. She had his full attention, and he was genuinely happy for her. It was all the more reason to keep her silly attraction to him secret. Things were perfect, and changing their relationship meant that there was a chance that she could lose everything. “Okay, so you know they want something along the same lines as the effervescent champagne lollipops, only not lollipops. At first, I thought about trying out some new cocktail-inspired flavors for our existing candies, but then I got the idea to take it further and develop something new all together. With all the setbacks, I was beginning to think that I should have stuck with hard candies after all, but finally today it worked.”

  “I can’t believe you doubted yourself. You’re so talented.”

  She wished she could tell him to stop flattering her. He was always so sweet and complimentary to her, but the truth was she was more relieved than proud. She’d been lucky to figure out the problem with the new product before Jeff realized she wasn’t quite the superstar the company thought her to be.

  “Well, thank you. I had no idea it would turn out to be such a challenge, but now I’m glad I stuck with it. So what I came up with was these little orbs that burst when you bite into them, with the same fizzy quality as the lollipops. The trouble was with the casing; it was always either too chewy or too delicate. Today we finally got it right, and they’re testing two flavors.”

  Ben’s eyes twinkled mischievously in the candlelight as he spoke, “You totally stole that from Willy Wonka, didn’t you?”

  “I didn’t steal it! I just…maybe borrowed some inspiration. It was my favorite book when I was a kid, probably the reason I got into candy in the first place, not that it’s as fun as I thought it would be.” She laughed. “Besides they do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

  “Well, Sinclair original or not, it’s pretty cool.” Ben grinned; he raised his glass and held it out, tipping it to hers in salute.

  It was pretty cool, Rebecca realized suddenly. When she was in the lab day in and day out, slaving over formulas and lab tests, it was easy to forget what an amazing job she had, dreaming up candy concoctions.

  Their food arrived, and as they shared the dish, Rebecca watched Ben. Everything about him was so familiar to her, but suddenly the small details she rarely took note of seemed fascinating. Against her better judgment, she indulged herself in a long look, enjoying the way his smile was a little crooked, the way his hair was just long enough to soften his polished look. Had his shoulders always seemed so broad? When the rich baritone of his voice rumbled all the way through her, she knew she had to stop. Ben was her friend, and that was it. He pushed their empty plate away and signaled for the check.

  “I thought we could do fondue for dessert at my place. You in?”

  “You spoil me. Of course I’m in.” She grinned at him and tried to ignore the way his smile made her heart pound.

  • • •

  An hour later, Rebecca leaned back, resting against Ben’s couch, her head spinning slightly. Between the roaring fire he’d started, the bottle of champagne they’d nearly polished off, and the rich decadence of the melted chocolate and caramel fondue, she felt loose-limbed and languid, her body humming with satiation. She’d even kicked off her heels, and Ben had taken off his tie and jacket and undone the top few buttons of his shirt, revealing a swath of bronze skin that was proving harder to resist the longer they sat together.

  It was impossible not to focus on the curve of his mouth as Ben dipped a strawberry, and bit into it. A drop of chocolate clung stubbornly to the swell of his upper lip. Rebecca nearly reached out to brush it away with her fingertip, but his tongue darted out before she had the chance.

  Things were getting a little too cozy. She should probably flip on the television or do something to dissipate the romantic atmosphere. But she was too comfortable to move.

  Instead, she cleared her throat. “Thanks for tonight.”

  “You’re welcome. Thought we should celebrate.”

  She laid a tentative hand on his thigh, not sure if she was going too far, but unable to help herself. “I mean it, though. You do a lot for me, and I want you to know how much I appreciate it.”

  Her words were mild, but she heard the desire in her own voice. Suddenly, the air between them changed, thickening with possibility, and her heart pounded in her chest. For a moment, she could hear nothing but the sound of her own breath as they locked eyes and time stretched between them. Ben’s fingers in her hair brushed away the final strand of doubt, and he pulled her over into his arms, cradling her against his chest. He kissed the top of her head and inhaled deeply. His chest rumbled under her cheek as he murmured sweet words to her, and her pulse raced. He kissed her forehead, and she shivered at the warm press of his lips on her skin. His familiar scent, like soap and sunshine, surrounded her, and everything else seemed miles away as she became more aware of him.

  She tilted her head up until her lips brushed against his, gauging his reaction. She heard his breath catch, but he didn’t pull away. Forgetting all the reasons it was a bad idea, Rebecca inched closer, until her lips touched his, softly, tentatively. She pressed closer still, and with a wave of relief, felt him do the same. Pulling herself up until she was sitting in his lap, Rebecca snaked her arms around his neck. He put his forehead against hers, and she looked into his eyes for a moment, allowing herself to enjoy being close to him.

  Ben was strong, soft and warm, and big enough so that Rebecca always felt safe in his arms. She raked her fingers through his thick hair and pulled his head to hers until there was no mistaking her intentions. Now that she’d given in to her desire, all reason and thought went out the window. They’d have to sort through what, if anything, this meant, but in the meantime, she lost herself in the moment. She pressed a kiss to his lips, softly until she felt him respond, and flicked her tongue out over his lips. Ben’s lips moved insistently against hers until she opened her mouth to his and deepened the kiss. Their tongues tangled together, and she tasted fruit and chocolate mingled with desire. She luxuriated in the warmth of Ben’s mouth, the exotic familiarity of it, and felt her body respond to the kiss.

  His hands roamed over her body as he explored her curves. Rebecca swore there was magic in the way that he kissed her, deep and slow. Everything about him was just right. They even fit together well, as though they were perfectly matched. It would be so easy to take it further, to ease off his lap and guide Ben to his bedroom.

  Suddenly, a loud clattering and Ben’s sharp intake of breath snapped her out of the lusty haze. They’d knocked over the fondue set, sending hot melted chocolate and caramel all over Ben’s leg. Rebecca slipped off his lap, the realization of how far they’d let things go washing over her.

  “We have to stop, Ben.”

  He ran his hand over his face and through his hair. “You’re right. I need to get cleaned up, but damn, Rebecca.
What was that?”

  “I don’t know. I’m sorry. I think I got carried away and maybe took advantage of you.” She smiled weakly.

  He chuckled. “Um, you didn’t take advantage of me. I wasn’t exactly an unwilling participant. Let me get cleaned up, and we’ll talk about it.”

  “I think we should call it a night,” she said softly. “I don’t want things to get weird because of this.”

  Ben got up, still looking dazed, and headed for his bedroom. Her nerves were still tingling, and seeing his hair mussed nearly undid her resolve to let him leave her sight. She knew that going any further was a bad idea, that their friendship could suffer irreparable damage, but he had never looked so good to her. Ben was a handsome man, she had always thought so, but she’d never felt it so acutely and didn’t know what these new feelings meant. She wasn’t accustomed to finding herself so wildly turned on by him, and if she was smart, she’d put some distance between them so she could sort things out. It was best to leave. She could work out her emotions on her own time.

  “I’ll only be a minute,” Ben said as she stood and joined him.

  “All right.” She felt his lips on the top of her head where he pressed gently until he pulled back and kissed her forehead. Her body responded to his touch instantly, and she practically pushed him through the door so she wouldn’t do something they’d both regret. Where was this coming from? She’d slip away and go home while he was showering. They could talk about what happened in the morning. Unless…

  Chapter Four

  Ben stood in his shower, one arm bracing his body as he leaned against the tile, and let the warm water flow over the back of his head and down his back. After their encounter, he wasn’t sure that he could keep his feelings for Rebecca secret any longer. Getting so close to experiencing how things could be between them drove home the point that they were perfectly matched. She just didn’t know it, or wouldn’t admit it to herself. Either way, something had to change. He wasn’t crazy; tonight she had felt it too. Rebecca responded to his touch, and the emotions behind it were real. That wasn’t something he—