BRUF

by Jessie Cooke

  Would he know if I lied? She never had orgasms, at least not when they had sex. Her orgasms were when she was alone, with her toys. That particular night, she’d gotten herself worked up by rubbing against him on the dance floor and in the car. It wasn’t about Bruf...at least she didn’t remember thinking about him that night.

  “Sabrina?”

  “I’m sorry...I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “I guess I should be thankful to you for not trying to lie anyway. Maybe you should spend this time while you’re there deciding if this is what you really want.”

  “What do you mean...this?”

  “This...us, me...marriage, being the wife of a surgeon and the mother of my children. It’s a world apart from being some biker’s old lady, I’m sure.”

  “Devin, are you saying you think we should break up?”

  “I’m saying that if you’re even a little bit unsure that this is what you want, I want you to decide that before we’re married. Maybe I rushed you into this. Maybe you did need this trip and some time to decide what you want. I suppose I shouldn’t have expected a twenty-year-old biker chick to mature in a year.”

  That made her angry. She thought they were having an adult conversation and he called her a biker chick in the same tone that he might spit out “whore.” “Maybe I’m not the one that needs to decide if this is what I want or not.”

  “I wanted you from the minute I saw you, Sabrina.”

  “I’m not sure why...Devin. I guess that’s my problem. You treat your sister better than you do me. Most of the time you don’t even act like you like me, and more and more you act like you don’t even want me in bed. I wonder sometimes if this whole pregnancy thing...you pushing me into this...was just so you’d have plenty of excuse not to fuck me.”

  “Wow, back in the hood for five minutes and the ghetto is coming out of your mouth.”

  “You’re deflecting from the issues here, Devin. I’ve given up everything for you and your family. I’ve been loyal and faithful. I attend all the fundraisers and galas on your arm and schmooze whoever you need me to schmooze. I put school off for another year so I can carry Melanie’s baby. None of that is how I imagined my life, but I do it all for you. This trip is the first thing I’ve done for myself in over a year, and it’s this huge issue.”

  “You have credit cards, drivers, housekeepers, cooks, vacations, fancy restaurants, two closets full of clothes. You have anything and everything that a twenty-year-old woman would or should want. But what do you want, Sabrina? A penniless biker. Have you ever heard that old saying, you can take the girl out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the girl?”

  “Oh wow...now you’re calling me trash?”

  “No, I’m just saying that I’m not sure if you know which world you want to live in. You almost seem to resent everything I do for you.”

  “What I resent is you not being able to see that I don’t need you to do everything for me, including making all of my decisions. My life is exactly what you want it to be and I’m bored out of my fucking mind!” She hadn’t meant to say that. She hadn’t meant to fight with him at all. That wasn’t why she’d called him. But maybe it was a good thing they were getting all of this out. Maybe they needed the distance to be able to tell each other how they really feel.

  “Okay, you let me know where you would like me to send your things.”

  Sabrina was shocked. “Just like that? We’re finished?”

  “That’s what you want, right? You just don’t want to say it.”

  “No, Devin, it wasn’t what I wanted. What I wanted was for us to share our life and make decisions as a couple, a team. But what you hear is that I don’t want to do things your way...so this just won’t work.”

  “You’re young, Sabrina, and you don’t understand the kind of pressure that comes from being a part of the world I grew up in. All I’ve ever tried to do is guide you through it all...gently.”

  “I’m young, Devin, but I’m not a child.”

  “Then you should stop acting like one. You obviously had all of this on your mind and instead of talking to me about it, you ran away. You ran to a place where everyone acts like a child...”

  “Wait. You can be mean to me and call me names if you feel it’s necessary, but leave my family out of it. You don’t know anything about them...”

  “I know enough about motorcycle gangs...”

  “Clubs. It’s a club.”

  He actually laughed and that just pissed her off more. “Club, then...what does your brother do for a living, Sabrina?”

  “He owns real estate,” she said, defiantly.

  “Where did he get the money to invest in real estate?”

  “I’m not doing this. You said we were finished...so fine, we’re done.”

  He sighed heavily. “Sabrina, I didn’t mean...”

  “No, Devin. You’re right. We come from two different worlds and even though I didn’t grow up in the MC, maybe it’s in my blood, because I feel a hell of a lot more comfortable here than I do in that big-ass house in Cocoa Beach. I’ll let you know where to send my things.”

  “I suggest you don’t forget that you signed a legal and binding contract with Melanie and Scott.”

  “I’m hanging up now.”

  “Sabrina...” She ended the call. How dare he “suggest” she remember her legal obligation to Melanie, not to mention the fact that they were friends...good friends. She’d never put an innocent child at risk, nor would she go back on a promise she made to her best friend. If Devin didn’t know that, he didn’t know her at all.

  “Hey, girl!” Wolf’s booming voice startled her. “You come all this way to see your brother and spend it in the corner on the phone?” His eyes were scanning the room. Sabrina was sure he’d come in to make sure she hadn’t sneaked off with Bruf. She sighed and inwardly rolled her eyes. If there wasn’t one man trying to control her life, there was another.

  7

  “Where were you? I didn’t see you all night once Wolf got here!” Blair was helping some of the club girls clean up and found Bruf, belly up to the bar. He knew hiding out for most of the party was the cowardly thing to do, but he’d come awfully close to doing something stupid and telling Sabrina how he felt about her. That one look from Wolf had told him otherwise. So, in order to keep from losing his entire lifestyle, he’d gone to his room, smoked a joint, listened to some music and finally, he’d taken a little nap. Of course, he woke up from the nap with a wooden cock and he had to take care of that before he went downstairs. When he got there, the party was winding down and he saw his big, hairy boss passed out on one of the couches in the great room. Sabrina wasn’t anywhere in sight, so he thought it was safe to have a beer.

  “I was around,” he said. “There were a lot of people here. Wolf looks like he had a good time.” Blair looked over at her man and smiled. Wolf rarely got drunk. He was big on control and he didn’t like anything that took that away from him. Bruf had known him for almost a decade and he could count on the fingers of one hand how many times he’d seen the boss drunk.

  “Yeah, I’m glad he cut loose and enjoyed his birthday. He deserved a night of fun. He was thrilled to see his sister too.”

  “Was he? He wasn’t pissed off that you brought her here?”

  “No...why should he be?”

  Bruf knew that Wolf told Blair everything. He wasn’t your typical biker when it came to relationships. Wolf was a one-woman man and even when he was single, there was only one club girl that he had fucked most of the time. Bruf wasn’t sure he agreed with his boss’s philosophy of sharing everything with his old lady, especially since his first one had tried to have him killed. But Bruf liked Blair and he trusted her a lot more than he did Amara, Wolf’s first wife. “Because he wants Sabrina three thousand miles away from me.”

  “Oh,” she said, wiping the bar in front of him. “I just thought since she was engaged...”

  “What?” Bruf said that too q
uickly and too sharply, and he could see the edges of Blair’s lips curl up.

  “She’s engaged,” she said. “Wolf didn’t tell you?”

  “He and I don’t talk about his sister.” Bruf’s thoughts were racing. Maybe he had misinterpreted the looks Sabrina was giving him. Maybe she really had no desire for him any longer and it was just his narcissism talking.

  “She’s engaged, but even Wolf has been able to hear in her voice on the phone lately that she’s not happy. He was planning a trip for us out there next month, but I thought it would be nice for her to get to come home. I like her, at least what I know about her. I think having a relationship with someone that’s blood related will be good for Wolf. This club is his family, but you know how it is with blood.” Unfortunately, Bruf did...but he didn’t want to think about his racist, guerrilla, practically claiming himself a prophet, brother. Instead he said:

  “Yeah, well, I hope things work out for them.”

  “And what about you, Bruf? Your whole demeanor changes when I mention Sabrina. Why not tell her how you feel, before she gets married and it’s too late?”

  “Blair, first of all, anything I feel for that girl is simple lust.” Blair rolled her eyes but Bruf went on. “And second, why are you trying so hard to put Sabrina and me together when you know your old man is against it?”

  “Wolf told me that he encouraged Sabrina to stay in Florida and marry that rich guy, but you seem awfully interested for a guy that’s only lusting after her.”

  It was his turn to roll his eyes and try for a look that said he didn’t give a shit even though he felt like he was falling apart inside. Somehow, even across the country, knowing she was single had gotten him through a lot of long nights. He didn’t realize it until now...but that feeling had been hope, and Blair had just taken it away. “Good for her,” he managed in a bored tone.

  “You think so? Because I don’t even know her, and I can see that girl is not happy. I can hear it in her voice when she calls Wolf and he puts her on speakerphone. She’s homesick...and Bruf, she’s in love with you.”

  “She told you that?” There it was again, hope, the little motherfucker.

  “No, Wolf told me.”

  “Wolf told you that his sister is in love with me?”

  “Why do you think he is trying so hard to keep you and her apart? I realized, when he finally told me how she felt about you, that he wouldn’t even be worried about it if you didn’t feel the same way.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” he said, still not admitting to anything. “Wolf has told me in no uncertain terms to stay away from her, and he’s told her...”

  “And who made Wolf God?”

  Bruf laughed at that. Blair was the only person in the world that could say things like that, to or about her man. Wolf was a good guy, but Bruf did sometimes think the boss had convinced himself he was some sort of supernatural entity...all-powerful and knowing. “He’s my president. He’s my friend,” Bruf finally said.

  “You know, I think my old man is pretty damned smart, and pretty damned cool. But he is your boss...not your keeper. He is Sabrina’s brother, not her keeper. You’re both adults and you have a right to be with whomever you want to be with. He might be a little pissed off if that happened, but trust me, he’d get over it. Is keeping him from being pissed off for a minute worth not being with the woman you love for the rest of your life?”

  “I never said I loved her. Hell, I barely know her.”

  “You feel something for her, Bruf. And I see you walk around here every day trying so hard not to feel anything. If she somehow broke through that concrete exterior of yours, I think it would be at least worth your while to give it a shot.”

  “Fucking psychobabble,” he said.

  Blair laughed. “Okay, I’ll give you that. It’s what I do...but keep this in mind, I’m damned good at what I do. I get paid a lot of money for the kind of advice I just gave you.”

  He laughed and said, “You do not. You work for the state.” Blair was still smiling as she flipped him off.

  “Suit your damn self,” she said, “but if you want to at least talk to her, she’s at my house alone right now.” Bruf finished what was left in his glass as he watched her walk back into the kitchen. He got up and went over to the pool table, where some of the guys were finishing a game.

  “You want to play?” Ash, one of the club’s enforcers, was getting ready to shoot for the eight ball. “I’ll go easy on you.”

  Bruf chuckled. “I could kick your ass with one hand tied behind my back. But no, I think I’m gonna take a ride. You got things here? I’m not sure when I’ll be back.” It was Bruf’s job to either look after the club or make sure it was looked after. While he had been sitting on watch duty in the hospital, Ash and Smoke had pretty much been handling things at the club. Bruf got the feeling that Smoke was too wasted to do anyone any good by then, though, judging by the way he’d been so chatty earlier.

  “I got it,” Ash said. “Raincheck on kicking my ass?”

  Bruf smiled. “You got it.” He walked outside. The air was still and hot, even in the late fall at nearly two a.m. He got on his bike and put on his helmet, and then he just sat there. What the hell was he doing? Sabrina was probably asleep...and if she wasn’t...what the hell did he think going to see her was going to accomplish? He wasn’t “in love” with her as Blair had said. He was just in serious lust. Maybe...just maybe, if he did fuck her, that would get her out of his system. Maybe the whole forbidden fruit thing was the problem. He started his bike and waved at the kid at the gate as he rolled out toward the highway. As the wind hit him in the face on the mostly deserted road, his thoughts raced. Maybe he’d fuck her and find out that he did have real feelings...then what? Hell, maybe she wouldn’t even let him touch her. She was engaged. He wished that didn’t make him sick to his stomach. If all he felt was lust...engaged wouldn’t even faze him.

  He rode along the highway until he came to the exit that would take him to Blair’s house. He hadn’t been there since the day Wolf killed a man who had tried to kill Blair and almost killed one of their club brothers. He’d thought about dropping in on Lana a few times when he heard she’d moved in there. He’d spent a hot couple of nights in Vegas with her a year ago and sometimes he thought about tapping that sweet pussy again. Lana was just his type. She was upper-class...and not looking for a relationship. She just liked slumming it up with the bad boys sometimes. He had ultimately decided that messing around with the best friend of the boss’s old lady was probably not a great idea. And he couldn’t help but see the irony in that as he rolled up in front of the house now, in the hopes of “messing around” with the boss’s little sister.

  He turned off the bike and sat there for a long time. He could see the blinds on the house on the west side of Blair’s move up and down a few times, and he figured he’d better either go up and knock, or leave before the neighbor called the cops. He almost started the bike up, but then he saw a light flicker behind the closed curtain in Blair’s house, like the television was on. That meant Sabrina was still up. Maybe that was a sign. Or maybe, he just wanted it to be. Fucking hope again. I hate that motherfucker.

  8

  Sabrina was sitting on Blair’s couch in front of the TV, eating ice cream straight out of the carton. It was Rocky Road, her favorite, and she’d told herself that she’d just eat a few bites. She was halfway through a Lifetime movie and she’d already eaten half of it. She was dressed in a cutoff pair of sweatpants and a pink, baggy t-shirt. She’d pulled on a pair of old wool socks, brushed her hair, and washed the makeup off her face. When she heard the sound of the motorcycle out front she’d gone from being worried that it was Bruf and he’d see her like this, to hoping it was Bruf and he was there to ravage her, to telling herself that she was an idiot for thinking about him at all. Her fiancé had just dumped her, over the phone from three thousand miles away. She was pregnant with a baby that wasn’t hers and her best friend had already left two messages, tear
ful and anxious that, because she and Devin were breaking up, Sabrina might not keep her end of the bargain. She almost called Melanie back to reassure her, but her emotions were already all over the place. So instead, she’d turned off the phone, taken out the ice cream, and turned on the TV.

  She was just about to pop another spoonful of the ice cream into her mouth when a knock on the front door nearly sent her through the roof. She looked at the clock. It was almost three a.m. Who the fuck knocks on someone’s door at three a.m.? It wasn’t whoever drove up on the bike...at least she didn’t think so. That was half an hour ago. Shit. A second knock propelled her up off the couch and she made her way cautiously over toward the door. Because of her history...a vicious man had assumed it was his right to have his way with her...she was a little leery of late-night knocks on the door. She stood to the side of it and holding the ice cream in one hand, she used the other to balance herself as she stretched across and looked through the peephole.

  “Sabrina, it’s Bruf.” She could see that. She was looking at him through the tiny little window and her heart was pounding.

  “What do you need?” she asked, stupidly. She saw the corners of his mouth twitch.

  “I was just wondering if we could talk.” Jesus. She could just imagine what she must look like. She even had ice cream dripped down the front of her shirt. “Are you still there?”

  Shit. “Yeah, just a second.” She put the ice cream carton down on the little table by the front door and tried to smooth down her hair. She might have wiped ice cream in it. Damn. Resigned, she unlocked the door and pulled it open. Her heart was beating so fast that she wasn’t sure it was even healthy. He looked so good, and here she was, looking like something the cat dragged through a pile of ice cream as it pulled her out of the dumpster. His green eyes traveled the length of her and then with that half smile still tugging at his lips he said:

  “You have a marshmallow in your hair.”