Joy for Mourning

by Dorothy Clark

  Tears of happiness welled up. “I love you, Thad.”

  Joy flashed in his eyes the instant before his mouth descended, claiming her lips in a kiss that made her head whirl.

  Laina closed her eyes and grabbed the lapels of his jacket, holding on for dear life as she answered his love with her own.

  “Judge, thank you for coming, for making the journey to Philadelphia. Having you here made this day even more wonderful.” Laina hugged her portly surrogate father.

  The elderly man chuckled. “Did you doubt that I would come?” He leaned back and looked down at her, his gray eyebrows lowering as he gave her a mock frown. “Surely you didn’t think I’d let anyone else perform your wedding ceremony?”

  Laina tilted her head, slanting a look up him, and patted his jacket over the area of his heart. “Not really.” She stretched up and kissed his chin. “You love me too much to allow that.”

  Justin hooted. Laina was truly restored to health after these long weeks of her recovery. She was her teasing, saucy, forthright self again. Thank You, Lord.

  Laina turned and wrinkled her nose at him, then smiled and stepped into his arms, giving him a big hug. “I love you, dearheart. Thank you for letting us borrow your drawing room for the ceremony.” She whirled and hugged Elizabeth. “And thank you so much for the lovely wedding supper.” She took a deep breath and looked at Thad.

  He smiled at her. “Are you ready to go?”

  A wholly unaccustomed shyness struck her dumb at his question. She felt like a bride, not a thirty-year-old widow. She nodded and moved to his side, into the welcoming comfort of his outstretched arm. He drew her close and held out his free hand. “Thank you for coming, Judge Braden. You’ve made Laina very happy. And I’m honored to meet you.”

  The elderly man nodded. “And I’m honored to meet you, young man. Thank you again for taking such good care of Laina when she was so ill.” Tears misted his faded blue eyes. “I’ve no doubt the Lord used you to restore her to us, and it comforts me to know she’s in such loving, capable hands.” He cleared his throat. “God’s richest blessings on you both.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Thad turned and extended his hand to Justin. “And thank you, Justin, for standing with me and for allowing us the use of your home for our wedding.” A smile curved his lips. “It’s a little crowded at Twiggs Manor.”

  Justin grinned. “That’s an understatement if ever I’ve heard one.” He cleared his throat. “I echo the judge’s sentiments, Thad. It comforts me to know Laina is in your care. And I know God’s hand has been upon you both. May He continue to bless you through all your years together.”

  “And that is my wish for you both, as well.” Elizabeth stepped forward, kissed Laina, then went on tiptoe and laid her cheek against Thad’s as she squeezed his free hand. “Welcome to the family, Thad.” She stepped back and smiled up at him. “I’ve always wanted a brother.”

  “You’re sure you don’t want the use of the carriage?”

  “No, dearheart. It’s only a short distance. We’d rather walk.”

  “All right, then.” Justin gave her a last hug. “God bless, and good night.” He closed the door.

  Laina glanced up at Thad and promptly went tongue-tied at the look of love in his eyes. Her cheeks warmed.

  Thad raised his hands, brushed back her fur-trimmed hood, cupped her face, then leaned down and lightly brushed her lips with his. “Shall we go home, Mrs. Allen?” He pulled her hood back in place, tucked her gloved hand through his arm and started down the stairs.

  Big, soft, fluffy snowflakes started to fall as they strolled down the drive to the brick sidewalk. Thad smiled down at her. “I think God is showering us with His blessings.”

  “What a beautiful thought.” Laina snuggled closer to his warmth and returned his smile. “I didn’t know you had a whimsical side to your nature.”

  With his free hand Thad covered her hand resting on his arm. “It only sounded whimsical, Laina. I’m serious. I’m a thirty-two-year-old orphan bachelor who has suddenly acquired a beautiful, loving wife, children, a brother and sister, and nieces and a nephew. I’ve always wanted a family. How could I not be aware of God’s hand of blessing?”

  Laina stopped walking. Snowflakes caught on her eyelashes as she tipped her head back to look up at him. “Thaddeous John Allen, you’re the most wonderful man I know. I love you.” She lifted one gloved hand to the back of his neck and tugged his head down. Her lips met his in a brief kiss of promise.

  Thad sucked in his breath, tucked her hand back through his arm and continued walking.

  “How much farther is it?”

  “The middle of the block. Are you cold?”

  Laina shook her head and looked up at him. “No. Are you?”

  “Not after that kiss.”

  Heat rushed to her cheeks. Thad chuckled and guided her onto a stone walk. She looked up, seeing his house for the first time. “Oh, Thad, it’s lovely!” She swept her gaze over the small two-story brick home with a one-story clapboard addition on the right side. Warm candlelight glowed from the multipaned downstairs windows and formed golden pools of light on either side of the centered door. She glanced at him in surprise. “Who lit the candles?”

  “Mrs. Harding, my housekeeper. I asked her to come over at dusk and light the candles and start the fires.” He kissed her forehead. “I didn’t want you coming to a cold, unwelcoming house.”

  Tears welled in her eyes at his thoughtfulness.

  He squeezed her hand. “Shall we go inside?” He pushed open the door and stepped back for her to precede him.

  Laina walked through the door into the small entrance hall and the oddest feeling hit her. She stopped dead in her tracks, looking around, suddenly sure she was exactly where she was supposed to be. All doubt was gone. She had come home. She sighed, turned and stepped into her husband’s welcoming arms.

  “There you are, boy.” Thad poured the feed into the manger, gave Faithful a last pat and left the barn, hurrying along the path to the house. He climbed the steps to the shed, washed up, stepped out of his boots, then walked on stocking feet through the door into the kitchen. A thumping, scraping sound issuing from the front of the house greeted him.

  Heart pounding, Thad ran down the hall toward the parlor, stopping short as he spotted Laina standing in the middle of the room with her arms crossed over her ribs and her head tilted to one side as she studied the settee that now sat facing the fireplace. That explained the scraping noise—she’d dragged the piece of furniture from its place along the far wall.

  “Laina, what are you doing? You shouldn’t—”

  “Thad!” Laina spun toward him, brushing back a strand of hair that had fallen free. Her cheeks colored. “I wanted—” the color deepened “—that is, I thought it might be more cozy on these cool nights if the settee was closer to the fire.” She took a breath. “But if you don’t care for it here, we can put it back.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “I like the look of it there.”

  She beamed. “Do you truly?”

  “Yes.” He walked toward her. “But I want you to promise me you won’t move furniture by yourself. You’re too frail to do such things.”

  Laina waved away his objection. “I only look frail because I’ve always been pampered. I’m really very strong.” She gave him a beguiling smile. “But if you would care to pamper me, you could bring that green brocade chair over and set it here.” She indicated a spot at right angles to the settee and fireplace. “And then if you would place the two Windsors under the windows, and put the piecrust table between them.”

  She clasped her hands in front of her, tapping her forefingers together as she studied the room. “And I believe we should bring in the Chippendale desk that’s hidden away in that nook under the stairs. It will look wonderful on that far wall.” She gave a deep sigh.

  Thad’s heart sank. He sucked in a breath and stepped up behind her, circling her with his arms and kissing the warm, silky skin jus
t below her ear as she leaned back against him. “I’m sorry, Laina. I was thoughtless to bring you to a house so small and without amenities when I know you’re accustomed to so much more. I only did so because I thought perhaps you’d prefer to be alone these first few days. I was wrong, and I’m sorry. But I’ll make it up to you. You don’t have to try to make this house into something it’s not, and you don’t have to wait for the week to pass. We’ll go to your home immediately.”

  “Thaddeous Allen!” Laina twisted out of his arms and spun about, her eyes flashing angry sparks up at him. “How dare you say such a thing to me! I love this house.”

  Thad gaped at her. “But I thought—”

  “Well, you’re wrong! And Twiggs Manor is not my home. It’s Abigail’s, and it always will be. At least to me.” Laina squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. “Please sit down, Thad. We have to talk.” She sat on the edge of the settee and turned to face him, then promptly rose to her feet again and walked to the fireplace.

  Thad stood beside the chair, watching her, puzzled by her agitated state. “Laina, whatever is bothering you…”

  She lifted her chin. “Thad, I know we planned to live at Twiggs Manor, and I don’t want to disappoint you, but things have changed. Doreen and Beaumont have been running the orphanage since I was taken ill, and when they marry next week they’re going to need privacy. My rooms would be perfect for them.”

  She took a breath and fastened her gaze on his. “Twiggs Manor is only a short walk from here and…well, I was wondering…” She took another breath. “Would you be horribly disappointed if we bring Emma and Billy and Anne here to live with us? If we make this our home?”

  “If we— But I thought—” Thad blew out a breath and raked his hands through his hair, dislodging his cowlick. “Laina, you astound me.”

  She walked over and reached up, satisfying her long-held desire to smooth his stubborn lock of hair back in place. “Does that mean yes?”

  Thad pulled her into his arms. “That means nothing would please me more.” He lowered his head.

  “Wait! There’s more.”

  He stopped, his lips an inch above hers. “What is it?”

  She glanced around the room, sighed and looked into his eyes. “May we paint the walls? Everything’s so white!”

  Thad burst into laughter. “How could I say thee nay, my love?” He lifted her up until their mouths were level, then wrapped his arms around her and kissed her until they were both breathless.

  “And you’re really truly my papa?”

  Thad grinned at Emma. “I really truly am.”

  “Oh, goody!” Emma threw her little arms around his neck and squeezed so hard Thad had to put his hand down on the floor to keep his balance. The next instant she spun to face her brother. “Billy, we gots a papa! A real papa, not a pretend one!”

  “Yeah!” Billy flushed. “I mean, yes. And I’m gonna be a doctor like him!” He grinned from ear to ear as Thad reached out and tugged him into his arms for a hug.

  “And we gots a new sister!” Emma danced around Laina, who was holding Anne in her arms.

  “I know.” Billy leaned close to Thad’s ear. “Anne’s sorta little, but I’ll take good care of her, Papa.”

  Thad swallowed the lump in his throat and ruffled Billy’s hair. “We’ll take care of her together, son. We’ll all take care of each other—that’s what you do in a family.” He lifted his gaze to Laina and his chest ached with his love for her. She was so beautiful, standing there with Anne in her arms. Oh, Lord, please let me give Laina a child.

  He rose, dropped a kiss on Anne’s soft warm cheek and lifted her from Laina’s arms. “I’ll carry Anne down the stairs. She’s heavy for you.” He settled the toddler in one arm, wrapped his other arm around Laina and smiled. “Let’s take our children home.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Laina laid two thick chunks of wood on the pulsating red coals in the brick fireplace and turned to survey her daughters’ bedroom. The flickering light of the greedily feeding fire threw lacy shadows from the testers of the two small beds against the pumpkin-colored walls and warmed the bright colors in the matching quilts. There all resemblance stopped.

  Laina smiled. Anne’s bed was smooth, every cover in place. Even her small body, cradled as it was in the feather mattress, didn’t break the bed’s even plane. Only her russet curls, barely visible above the edge of the quilt, gave testimony to her occupancy. Emma, on the other hand…

  Laina’s smile widened. Emma’s blankets were askew. Her quilt hung over the edge of the bed, partially covering a small, dangling, flannel-clad arm and leg before ending in a thick puddle of folds on the floor—beside her pillow.

  Laina crossed to the bed and picked up the pillow, then gently rolled Emma into the center of the mattress and pulled the covers over her. She leaned down and kissed her soft warm cheek, then moved on to Anne, who was burrowed in so deep she contented herself with dropping a kiss on top of the silky russet curls. The little sweetheart didn’t even stir. But then, she never did. Trying to keep up with Emma’s boundless energy all day quite wore the toddler out.

  Laina’s heart swelled with thanksgiving. Thank You, Lord, for giving Thad and me these beautiful children. For making us a family. She stood watching her daughters sleep for a moment, then turned and left the room. Her long skirts whispered softly against the wide plank floor as she crossed the hall to Billy’s bedroom. She glanced in the direction of his bed, tiptoed to the fireplace and bent to pick up a piece of wood.

  “Will Papa come home soon?”

  Laina almost dropped the wood. She placed it on the fire and turned toward the bed. “I thought you were sleeping.”

  Billy shook his head against his pillow. “I want to tell Papa good night.”

  Sweet, sweet Billy, who adored Thad. He was fighting to keep his eyes open. Laina smiled. “I know you do, honey.” She tucked the deep blue woven coverlet under his chin and perched on the side of his bed. “But I think you’d better go to sleep now. Papa had to go see a patient and I don’t know when he’ll be home.” She reached out and smoothed back the soft blond curls that had fallen on his forehead. “When Papa comes home, I’ll have him come wake you and say good night.”

  Billy’s mouth gaped in a wide yawn. “Heart’s…prom…ise?” His eyelids slid closed.

  Laina smiled and leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Heart’s promise.”

  Bells jingled outside. Laina rose and hurried to the window, pulling aside the blue curtain and opening the louvers of one of the shutters to peer out into the night. Sidelamps from a sleigh flickered in the darkness on the street below. The bells grew louder. It was Thad. He was home safe. Thank You, Lord.

  Excited anticipation tightened Laina’s stomach as she watched the sleigh turn into the drive leading to the barn. He’d soon be coming in the door. She smiled and tiptoed from Billy’s room, then hurried down the stairs to poke up the kitchen fire and warm Thad some of the soup Mrs. Harding had made for their supper.

  “Hmm, something smells good.”

  Laina turned from stirring the soup. Thad stood by the door, the towel draped around his neck testifying that, as always, he had bathed and changed into the clothes he kept hanging in the shed dressing room before coming into the house. The hint of soap, herbs and spices that hovered around him tantalized her nostrils. Billy called it his doctor smell. She smiled. “Yes, it does, Doctor.”

  He caught her meaning, grinned and started toward her. “It is such a blessing not to have to pump pails of water for my bath. I believe having that water piped directly into the house is the smartest thing I’ve ever done—second to marrying you, of course.” He smiled down at her. “Hello, Mrs. Allen. Do you have any idea how wonderful you are to come home to?” He took her in his arms.

  Laina dropped the spoon and lifted her face to receive Thad’s kiss, letting out a started squeal as water dripped into her eye from the lock of hair hanging on his forehead. She grabbed the ends of the towel,
dabbed her eye and scrubbed at his hair. “That’s better.” She gave him a saucy smile. “Now, where were we?”

  Thad gave a low growl and claimed her lips.

  “How are things at Twiggs Manor?”

  “Wonderful! They placed three children in homes this week.” Laina glanced at Elizabeth and shook her head. “Whoever would have thought that staid, proper Beaumont would one day run an orphanage?” She turned her attention back to James, who was using the bodice of her dress for leverage to pull himself erect. She placed her hands under his pudgy little arms to steady him and kissed the tip of his tiny nose. “Aren’t you getting to be a big strong boy?” The baby bounced up and down, waving his arms and giving her a wide smile. “Elizabeth, he has a new tooth!”

  “Yes.” Elizabeth glanced with pride at her son. “It came in yesterday.”

  The familiar yearning ache—stronger and more painful than ever now that she was married to Thad—rose in Laina’s heart. Not only would she never have the joy of having a baby and watching him grow, but she had robbed Thad of that joy, also.

  “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.”

  The verse of Scripture she’d read a few weeks ago slid into her mind. Laina glanced over at Anne, who was seated on the floor rolling a ball with Mary, then shifted her gaze to Emma and Sarah, busy with their dolls. Billy was seated in the rocker on the hearth looking at a book. I do praise You, Lord! And I thank You for Thad and the children You have given us. Please forgive me the selfish desires of my heart and help me to be content with my barren condition. You know what is best for me, Lord. I yield to Your will.

  Laina sent the silent prayer winging heavenward from her heart. When she’d read that verse, she’d vowed to be thankful for the blessings the Lord had showered upon her and to stop longing for what could never be. She did quite well—until she held James. And that was another blessing. Thank You, Lord, that Elizabeth is unselfish and is willing to share James with me. I shall be content with holding my nephew.