by Lena North
"Do we have a healer around here somewhere?"
Josteinn peeked into the Jarl's longhouse, and I smiled at him. We'd met more than usual, and if it was because he sought out my company specifically or since many avoided him during the ongoing investigation I did not know, but I liked him so I was happy. My dreams about him slowly changed into something else, that I didn't quite know what it was. All I knew was that my lips automatically turned into a smile when I saw him. I could see how my parents watched us, how my mother's lips thinned into a straight line and Father's eyes narrowed, but I didn't care.
"Half a healer maybe," I replied. "Why?"
"Good enough for me. This only needs parts of a healer anyway," he replied as he walked into the house. Even in the dim light, I could see that there was blood on his arm and chest.
"Joss," I gasped, quickly leaving the hearth where I'd been preparing food with some of the other women.
"Sissa, no need to worry. A few stitches and I'll be as good as new," he replied calmly and smiled when I pushed him down on one of the benches.
The wounds were shallow which meant they'd be easy to treat, but I scolded him anyway.
"Why didn't you go to your mother? Astrid should look at these, and she can clean them up better than me."
"Nah. Like your stitches better and my mother has hard hands," he replied with a wink.
"Don't be silly, Joss," I said. Then I gave in. "Come with me and we'll get my things. I can take care of these outside, there's better light there."
We were moving toward the door when it opened, and Freyja walked in. She gasped as she rushed over to us.
"What happened, Josteinn? Did your father punish you? Did they find out what you did?"
We stopped to stare at her. The women by the hearth who had snickered and giggled a little were suddenly silent.
"What are you talking about, Freyja?" Josteinn asked calmly.
"Oh. No, nothing. I mean... Oh, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, I know Einarr doesn't want to talk about the investigations, and I shouldn't talk," she said, breathlessly. She moved on toward the women, calling out over her shoulder as she walked, "I'm sure I got it all wrong. Don't mind me, I am not at all sure why I said anything at all. I heard... but it was nothing."
Then she gave the women a sharp command to continue with the meal, and Josteinn pulled me out of the house with a hard grip on my upper arm.
"What was that?" I asked as we walked toward the back of the longhouse where my small home was located.
"I have absolutely no idea, and even less interest in any of the nonsense that girl spouts," he replied sourly.
"Joss, no. She can cause a lot of harm with her words, you need to talk to Einarr. He will shut her up, make her stop spreading rumors. She didn't mean anything with her words just now but she likes to gossip, and if she's bold enough to do it to your face, then she will spread even more when you are not around." I was worried, so my voice quivered a little, but I was also determined to make him understand. We'd walked around the corner of the house, and he stopped, smiling so sweetly that my heart suddenly started beating fast and hard.
"Sissa..." he whispered softly.
He raised his hand, and I thought he was going to put his arm around me. Then a door slammed in the distance, we both jerked, and the sweet smile was replaced with a tightening of his lips. The moment was over, and I didn't want to hear any excuses from him. Instead, I marched the few remaining steps to our door.
"Let's deal with your injuries, Joss," I said brusquely.
"Sissa," he said again. It sounded like he wanted to say more but then he saw that my mother was at home, and stopped talking.
"Sit down on the bench. I'll get my things," I said and walked inside.
My mother came out with me to look at the cuts. Since they really were quite shallow, she just sighed and told us calmly that she wasn't needed for those. I cleaned them up swiftly and threaded my needle.
"Hold on now, here we go," I said, and started working.
He flinched but made no sounds. I heard him breathing through his nose, but after a while, he started talking. His voice was a bit strained but other than that he appeared perfectly normal.
"My father still isn't getting anywhere in his investigation. They know that Heidrun was in the shed next to yours, but people have trampled around all over so there are no tracks that make any sense."
"But Joss... How could it be that the men went to the wrong shed?" I asked because that had bothered me for some time.
"Hjalvor and Sigurd won't talk about it, and Father won't either," he replied curtly and he sounded unhappy, so I didn't push.
"What about Heidrun, why didn't anyone find it strange that she wasn't at the ceremony?" I asked instead.
"It isn't so strange, Sissa. You know how it is, we don't stand in any lines or even together with our families. The thralls are mostly at the back, true, but it's really just a huge crowd. Stein asked for Heidrun, he says, and Father told me that he saw her so he pointed her out to Stein, but that was a mistake of course."
I thought for a while about the sacrifices in previous years, realizing that he was right. I could have been there, and if one of my brothers had been missing, I wouldn't have noticed.
"They will take her down tomorrow, finally. Father thinks that maybe someone hit her on the head and carried her into the shed, so they will look for injuries. She staggered when she was led up to the sacrifice and didn't fight as much as she should have, they think. Perhaps a hit to the head would explain that," Joss said.
I'd finished the first wound across his arm so I tied the ends of the thread together, and paused.
"They'll be looking for a man then. A strong man."
He nodded and murmured, "They'll think it's Torbi, Sissa, or maybe Ulf. Or me."
I looked into his eyes, and as our gazes held, I thought it all through.
"There are many strong men in this village, Joss, strong women too. Heidrun was not small, but she was slim. I think that even I could have carried her a short distance."
I began stitching up the gash on his chest.
"Has Einarr started to establish what everyone did? He will have a list of the ones he thinks it is so he'll need to determine where they all were that day," I said calmly, although it was all fake. Inside I was screaming with worry, for the man in front of me but even more for my brothers.
"I don't know, but it's a good idea so I'll ask, and tell him to star... ouch!"
I stopped stitching and without thinking I gave his cheek a small caress.
"Sorry."
He leaned his head slightly into my hand and when our eyes met I exhaled softly. His short beard tickled my palm. I moved my thumb slowly over his cheek at the same time as I felt his hand come up to my hip, and then slowly move as if to pull me closer. Then he smiled a little, and I thought he'd say something when suddenly a sharp sound came from inside the house. I jolted, and his mouth tightened, making him look unhappy, so I pulled my hand back quickly and took a small step away. Maybe I misinterpreted the whole thing, I thought. We were friends, and friends didn't touch each other like that.
"Sorry," I repeated, though for a different reason this time. Then I started stitching again.
The door closed behind us with a soft thud, and my mother passed us with her treatments in a basket on her arm.
"I'll be seeing to the sick." She turned to give me a piercing look. "You will want to go back to your chores soon, Sissa. They'll be unhappy if you procrastinate."
I recognized a command when I heard one, so I nodded and started to work faster.
Josteinn didn't walk back with me. He mumbled something about his father, disappeared the other way, and I was relieved but disappointed at the same time. I wasn't sure what he wanted from me, and when I'd thought about it, which was often, I wasn't quite sure of what I wanted from him either. I knew well that the best I could hope for was to be his mistress, and that if the offer came, it would be a hu
ge honor for a girl like me.
There would be a marriage for him, and they'd likely negotiate this at the Thing this summer, though I would not have to worry about that. As long as I stayed with him, I wouldn't have to worry about work or food either, and if I gave him children he would pay for their upbringing. For a thrall, this was a fantastic life. It would also be a life with Joss. The only problem was that if he changed his mind, he could stop supporting me anytime. Then I'd be back where I started, working in the fields or in the kitchen, so I'd be wholly dependent on his desire to keep me, which made it an uncertain life. I'd seen thralls moved in and out of the freemen's houses over the years, and I'd always thought that it seemed somehow demeaning. I didn't quite like the thought of Josteinn paying Jarl Ingolf money for me, but it was the way of life and I'd also seen thralls who stayed with their men all their lives.
I shrugged as I walked up to the hearth because I was speculating. He hadn't said anything, and I wasn't even convinced that he'd liked it when I touched his cheek.
"Oh, Joss," a teasing voice crooned from the group of women, "poor baby, you're hurt but come here, and I will take such good care of you..."
I scowled at them.
"Stop it. I didn't sound like that. I had to put eight stitches in him."
"Yes, Sissa, because your thrall hands are so soft... and his mother's free hands are so hard," Mags snickered, and I felt a blush creep up my neck.
"Don't give him any promises, Sissa," Nessa suddenly murmured silently, in their language.
"He has not asked for any," I whispered back.
"He will. I wish you'd come with us, but if you won't then, at least, don't promise him anything without talking to your brother first," she said. Then she turned abruptly and walked away. I stared at her back, wondering what she knew. I'd thought she and Torbi had just been warming each others' beds, but now it seemed as if they talked, and my brother shared things with her.
I never found out if Einarr had already started to list the men he suspected of being involved in Heidrun's death, and what they had done on her last day, or if he did it because Joss brought my suggestion to him. It didn't matter to me because the first thing Einarr discovered was that Jarl Ingolf had suddenly ordered a huge stone to be brought to where the sacrifices were held, to act as an altar of sorts. Many of the strongest thralls spent the entire day dragging it there, placing logs under the stone to roll it forward much like they did when they moved our longboat. It had still taken the full day, from before sun was up until just before the ceremony started.
Einarr immediately spread the word that the men moving the stone were all innocent of any crime. One of the several strong men that had been there was my brother Torbiorn. I laughed out loud and hugged Torbi, but then I realized that Ulf hadn't been mentioned.
"Ulf, were you there to help too? Did he forget to mention you?" I asked.
"No, Sissa. I was in the forest, getting branches of fir for the floors, and I was alone. There will be no one vouching for my innocence," he said solemnly, and my face fell.
"I know it wasn't you, Ulf. Einarr will find that out too, don't worry," I said confidently, hiding my worry.
I was close to Torbi, and had always found my oldest brother a bit distant and moody, but he was still my brother.
I'd thought a lot about what I'd seen in the grove that first night when I'd gone out to look at Heidrun, and I was convinced that they should look for someone strong enough to carry her, but also tall enough to pull the hood from her head. Torbiorn had told me she'd had the hood on her head when he'd run over to check, just after they let me out of the shed. That would have been been around midday, so someone had taken it after that but before I got there during the night. I'd thought about going back another night, but hadn't found the courage in me to do it again. Instead, I'd made a mark on a tree for how high up she would have been hanging, and then piled stones to stand on until I could reach high enough to reach for the hood. Based on that I guessed that the person would have to be at least a head taller than me. There were no women in the village that were that tall, so I assumed it was a man.
My brother Ulf was not even a hand's width taller than me so he couldn't have reached the hood. I would have to find a way to convince Einarr of this, I decided.
Chapter Seven
Secrets
They brought Heidrun down the next morning and carried her into the Jarl’s longhouse. Freyja was crying uncontrollably, Astrid quietly, and the Jarl's face was set in stone. My mother was calm, and her hands steady as she washed and dressed what I knew then wasn't just her owner's daughter, but also her cousin's.
I'd tried to find out where Torunn came from, and why her marriage had been so advantageous for Jarl Ingolf, but few seemed to know. I'd been born free, Joss said. I had no memories of this at all so I guessed I'd been less than two when whatever went down had indeed gone down. Torbi was just a year older than me so he wouldn't know. Ulf was another two years older, so he might remember, but I wasn't sure how much and I didn't want to ask in case he had no memories either. I would have to ask my mother or father, but I didn't want to. I knew from what Joss said that something had happened to put my parents in the situation they were, and since they didn't talk about it, it must have been bad.
"Let me look, Gudrun," Einarr murmured, and my mother stepped back.
He moved Heidrun's hair to the side and bent down as he probed with his fingers, looking for something that would indicate she'd gotten a blow to her head. Then he started to roll her to the side.
"You should look, Einarr, but you will find no injuries. I have washed her whole body, and she has some scrapes here and there, though they're not strange or unusual. She has some small bruises and marks from her shoes, but there's no harm done to her by someone else," my mother murmured, still in her usual calm manner. A slight hoarseness in her voice betrayed her, and I understood suddenly that her calmness was mostly pretense. I should have understood this sooner, I thought, angry at myself for not helping her more. She held it together well, but this wasn't easy for her.
"Let me help you, Einarr. I will turn her, and you can look," I said and nudged my mother away from the dead body as I stepped forward. She gave me a look of gratitude and her face relaxed.
They'd closed Heidrun's eyes, and her mouth was a little bit open, but it wasn't in the horrible grimace she'd had hanging in the grove. I bit my teeth together and lifted her to one side, and then the other. She was surprisingly easy to shift around, and I realized that her personality and the way she moved and talked had made her seem bigger than she was. Her arms were long but thin, and her legs were too. As I helped her uncle to look her over I realized that Josteinn had been right, we were not so different after all.
I'd always thought it was because of the hair, and that the Jarl ordered me to let my hair grow long because of this resemblance to his first wife. I'd had my hair cropped short like all the other thralls. Then some years ago, around the time Torunn had fallen ill, he suddenly asked me to not cut it anymore, and it grew quickly. I looked down at Heidrun, who was on her side at the table with hair covering her face, and shivered as I realized that it could very well have been me laying there.
"I'm almost done, Sissa, just one more look at her back," Einarr said, giving my shoulder a small pat.
"I'm okay, Einarr, really. I feel sad for her, for how she died, though. I know well that it should be me laying on this table today," I said. This was the truth, and I didn't see the need to tell him how glad I was that it wasn't me. He probably understood that anyway.
"Sissa, don't take the blame for it. The gods carved new runes into Yggdrasil, and you did nothing wrong in the situation. Of all the people involved, you are the only one entirely without blame," Astrid said from behind my shoulder.
The words were weirdly gentle, coming from her. She'd stopped crying and looked down at Heidrun with a strange look on her face. Then her eyes met her husband's and something passed between them, but it was ov
er before I could figure out what it was. A shiver went down my spine, and I knew they both mourned, but I couldn't help wondering if they were getting ready to step in and harvest the benefits from this situation.
Jarl Ingolf had pulled away from everyone since the sacrifice, and we all respected that he needed the time both to mourn his daughter and come to terms with the fact that his hand held the knife that killed her. The women told me that he had nightmares and that he woke up screaming so often that Freyja had taken to sleeping in another bed. He spent most days on his horse, roaming the forests around the village and he rode the poor animal until it was exhausted. We had learned quickly which paths he took, and everyone avoided them to not get trampled when he came crashing around a corner.
Einarr and Astrid had stepped in, and they managed most of the everyday life in the village. I wondered if they planned to continue doing that, and somehow slowly push the Jarl out of the picture, putting Joss firmly in the position to become the next Jarl.
"There. Done," Einarr concluded, pushed Heidrun to her back, and Astrid brushed the long blond tresses of hair away from the girls face. I stepped away quickly, glad that it was over.
Everyone attended Heidrun's burial, and this was only partially since she was our Jarl's daughter so we were obliged to. Mostly it was because she'd been highly respected even though most had thought her aloof and even a bit cold, she'd had few close friends in the village. Since her mother got sick and died, Heidrun had worked relentlessly for the benefit of us all, though. She'd just been a young girl but even as she was grieving Torunn herself, she'd done what was needed. It couldn't have been easy for her and even worse when her father was away on summer raids, but she'd kept working, and everyone admired her for that.
Stein was standing at the front with Jarl Ingolf, and he looked solemn but not in any way grief-stricken. It hadn't been a love match, which wasn't surprising since most marriages didn't start out like that, but they'd seemed to have a liking for one another. I'd never talked to him, and he seemed cold and distant, which perhaps would have made him a perfect match for Heidrun, but I didn't know what kind of man he really was. I still felt sorry for him because he'd picked Heidrun to be his wife for the purpose of becoming Jarl and as he stood there watching her being laid to rest, he would be disappointed. I wondered if he would stay or go back to his own village. It wasn't uncommon for an outsider to remain if a spouse died, although I had no idea what the protocol was for when they'd only been betrothed.
