Cole squeezed his hand and Rick looked at him. “N-n-now you know w-w-why we can’t be t-t-together.” God, it hurt just to say the words.
“No.”
Rick’s eyes widened. “N-n-no?”
“No. What I just heard is the terrible story of what happened to a young, sweet man who should have been sheltered instead of beaten up and abused. I see a man that should be helped so that he can have a better life. Gosh, pup, how old are you? You’ve lived through so much in such a short time.”
“N-n-nineteen.”
Cole cupped Rick’s cheek. “You’re not defective, and you’re not a monster, no matter what you think or what people tell you. You did what you had to do to survive, just like every other member of this pack.”
“B-b-but I can’t even t-t-talk!” Why wasn’t Cole seeing it? Why didn’t he understand?
“Have you ever seen a doctor for your stutter?” Rick shook his head. “Of course not. I’m ready to bet anything that you’ve never seen any doctor, period. I don’t know much about stuttering, but I heard you sing yesterday, and there was no sign of it then. Let us help you, Rick. Someone should have a long time ago.”
Rick was torn, and making a decision had never been so hard. On one hand, he wanted to be left alone now that he finally could decide what to do with his life, now that there was no one to stop him. On the other hand, he knew he needed help. He couldn’t talk and had no idea how he would earn enough money to fix the life he so desperately wanted to live. He didn’t know what to do with his mother, how to help her. He was used to being on his own, but he didn’t have to now. He could decide he wanted friends, and maybe... a mate?
“W-w-what can you d-d-do?” He whispered his words, his focus never leaving Cole’s eyes. Rick wanted to believe the man really wanted him—that he didn’t think of Rick as defective even if that was what he’d been told his entire life.
“We can talk to Jared for your stutter,” Zach said from the other side of the table.
Rick looked at him, and sure enough, the man was crying. It made Rick feel guilty, because he was glad to see the tears. It meant Zach cared, really cared.
“And we have to do something about Rick’s mother,” Cole added.
Rick’s eyes widened. “W-w-what do you know a-a-about my mother?”
“Not much, but I’m not blind. I saw the state of the house you live in and the bottles in the hamper. I really don’t think you’re the one drinking so much.”
“And we know enough to know you’ve been the one supporting both of you since Dean died. No one is blind here, Rick. We see her going into town and bringing men home, when she comes home at all.”
Rick remembered what he’d found on their coffee table that morning. “S-s-she’s bringing humans home now.”
“Humans?”
Rick nodded and looked at his alpha. “I f-f-found a used c-c-condom this morning. S-s-she never uses t-t-them with shifters.”
“I’m going to have to deal with her, Rick.”
“I k-k-know.”
“Let’s call Jared. We can ask him about your stutter and how to deal with your mother. She obviously has a problem with alcohol, and hopefully Jared knows how we can help her.”
Zach rose from his chair and tugged on Kameron’s hand to make him follow. “We’re going to the office to start making phone calls. You guys stay here for a while. Rick, come by before you go, though.”
“I can make the calls from here,” Kameron said.
“No, you can’t.” Zach tugged harder on Kameron’s hand and Kameron finally rose, but he still sported a perplexed expression.
“Why not?”
Zach pulled him along as he walked outside, but Rick heard him say before the door closed behind them, “Because that way those two can spend some time alone, you big oaf!”
Those words were enough to make Rick realize that yes, he was alone with the man who was his mate, and said man was still holding one of his hands while cupping his face with the other.
Rick blushed and leaned backward. To his surprise, Cole didn’t try to stop him and let his hand fall from his face, but he didn’t release Rick’s hand.
“They weren’t very subtle, but Zach’s right. I’d like to spend a bit of time to get to know you.”
Rick looked down. What could he say to the man who was looking at him as if he was a treasure he’d just discovered?
* * * *
Cole kept himself in check. It wouldn’t do for him to scare Rick away, even if he seemed to be less afraid than Cole had initially thought. “Do you want me to take you home?”
Rick shook his head.
“Okay. Is there something you want to do?”
Another shake. Cole sighed. “I know you don’t like to talk, but you’re going to have to if you want to get to know me.”
Rick shrugged and pressed his back into the back of his chair. Cole tilted his head to the side, wondering what he’d done to scare his mate. “You can tell me no. You can do whatever you want, I won’t hit you.”
Rick didn’t relax, but he still nodded, and Cole took it for the small victory it was. “Want to go for a ride?”
Rick’s eyes widened. “R-r-ride?”
“On my bike. I know the whole leather-tattoos-bike thing is kind of cliché, but I like it.”
Rick gave Cole a tiny smile. “M-m-me too.”
“Oh?”
“You 1-1-look nice.”
“Only nice?” Cole laughed. “That’s good, don’t worry. I guess I’ll have to work harder to get something more than nice.”
“N-n-no! You’re f-f-fine!”
“I was joking, Rick.” Cole rose from his crouch. He pulled Rick along with him until they were both standing. “You don’t have to check what you tell me. Just be honest.” Cole kissed his mate’s forehead. “Now, what do you think of that ride?”
“I’ve n-n-never been on a b-b-bike.”
Oh, the red flush on Rick’s cheeks was so inviting. Not that Cole could do anything about it at the moment, but he wished he could. “Don’t worry. You’ll just have to hold on tight to me. But that means you’re going to have to hug me.”
Cole waited to see what Rick would say. Would he be too scared of him to agree?
Rick didn’t answer with words. Instead, he hesitantly leaned forward and slid trembling arms around Cole’s waist. Cole inhaled sharply but didn’t move—too worried he’d scare Rick away.
Rick leaned his head over Cole’s heart and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, his lashes fluttering madly. Cole could see how nervous he was. He could feel Rick’s fingers twitch against his back and the way he kept the lower part of his body slightly away from Cole’s, as if ready to bolt if anything happened. It didn’t lessen the fact that this was an enormous step forward for Rick, and Cole was delighted.
He slowly raised both hands and skimmed them along Rick’s spine. Rick shuddered but didn’t move away, so Cole gently hugged him back. Rick was trembling and breathing fast, so Cole stroked what he hoped were soothing circles on his back, alternating them with long caresses up and down his back.
The trembling slowly subsided as Rick relaxed in Cole’s arms. He still wasn’t completely at ease, but it was better than before. That was the moment Cole’s cell phone chose to ring.
Rick jumped away as soon as it started ringing. His eyes were a little wild as he looked from left to right, but he quickly settled down. He sat back down and gestured at Cole, clearly telling him without words to answer the phone.
Cole wanted to throw the thing against the wall, but he settled on scowling at it, especially when he saw the name on the display.
“Carter. What do you want?”
“Hello to you too, brother.”
Cole gritted his teeth together. God, how he hated it when the man called him that. “What do you want?”
Carter tsked. “One would think you’d be happy to get a call from a family member. G
od knows you don’t have many of those.”
“I don’t have a family, Carter, so cut the shit, and tell me what you want.”
“I need money.”
Cole smiled wickedly. “Oh, really? How nice to hear from a family member when all he wants is money.”
“You have to help me.”
“I don’t have to do anything, Carter. It’s not my fault you burned through the money my mom left you so fast. You really should’ve been more careful.”
“She left me almost nothing!”
Cole rolled his eyes and smiled when he saw that Rick was frowning at the phone in Cole’s hand. “She left you way more than I’d have. What do you need it for anyway?”
Silence answered him. “Carter? You still there?”
“You don’t deserve all that money. You’re not even using it!”
“Oh, but I am. I’m about to buy a house and settle down.”
Rick’s head snapped toward Cole’s face. Cole smiled at him, but it didn’t seem to reassure him all that much. Damn Carter and his fucking habit of throwing money away and having such a high standard of living—one he clearly couldn’t afford.
“Why would you do that? You pride yourself on being a no strings attached man.”
“My mate has family and friends, and he’d rather stay close to his home.”
Silence again, but this time Cole was more than happy with Carter’s reaction.
“Your mate?”
“Yup.”
“You said he.”
“Yeah.” Oh, now Cole was having fun!
“Are you already mated?”
“Why? You want to send a gift?”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“Then I don’t see how it’s any of your business.”
“You’re my brother.”
“I’m not. You’re only a leech that ran out of money when my mother and your father died. You really should find yourself a job. I’m sure there’s at least one fast-food place close to your house that will hire you if you ask nicely.”
With that Cole hung up. He stared at his cell phone for a while, wondering what was next. Would Macy call him too? She was less obnoxious than her brother, but still not all that pleasant to deal with.
“I t-t-think you have something t-t-to tell me.”
Cole looked at Rick, but before he could explain anything Zach came into the kitchen again. “Sorry to interrupt, guys, but Jared wanted to talk to Rick. He’s on the phone right now. Are you up for it?”
Cole sighed. He couldn’t wait to get Rick alone. He knew he had to explain some stuff to his mate. Yet, while he was actually happy for the interruption, he knew that the sooner they talked the better it was.
Rick nodded, but his expression was wary. Cole knew why. He didn’t want to talk on the phone.
“Can he come here?”
Zach turned to face Cole. “Why?”
“I’d like to hear what he has to say, if Rick is okay with it, and I’d rather do things like this face to face.”
“I’ll ask him if someone can shimmer him here for lunch. Is that okay?”
Cole looked at Rick and Rick nodded. “Sure.”
Zach left them alone again and Cole sat next to Rick. “Is it okay with you if I’m there when you talk to Jared?”
Rick nodded.
“About what you heard when I was on the phone...”
“It’s o-o-okay. I just w-w-wasn’t expecting it. We don’t even know e-e-each other yet.”
“But you want us to?”
Rick flushed and looked down, but he nodded. Cole put his hand on the table, palm up, and waited.
Rick sneaked a peek through his hair, looked at Cole, then at his hand. Cole’s fingers twitched in anticipation and Rick slowly reached for it. He pressed his palm against Cole’s and Cole twined their fingers together. It was a show of Rick’s trust, albeit a tiny one, but it wasn’t the only one Rick had shown since the day before, and Cole cherished each and every one of them.
“I d-d-don’t understand why you w-w-want me.”
“Ah, pup. In part it’s because you’re my mate. I feel the need to protect and claim you. But it’s not the only reason why. You’re only nineteen, and you’ve already lived through too much. You deserve someone to love you, cherish you, and make you safe so you can decide what you want to do with your life.”
“A-a-and that’s you?”
“Not if you don’t want it to be. But I hope you will.”
Rick’s answer was whispered so low Cole almost didn’t hear it. “Me too.”
Chapter Three
Rick didn’t want to talk to Jared. He didn’t want to talk, period. But lately people were always trying to make him talk, telling him his stutter didn’t matter, that they didn’t care. It might even be true, but it didn’t mean Rick felt comfortable.
The fact that he’d better keep his mouth shut if he couldn’t talk normally had been beaten in him over the years, and getting over that was hard. Everything in Rick’s life was hard at the moment, or so it seemed. The only hopeful sparkle was Cole, even if Rick didn’t know how long the man would stay. He still thought that once how fucked up Rick’s life was finally sank in, Cole would run the other way without as much as one glance backward. Not that it would surprise Rick.
Still, he smiled at Jared when the man arrived with his mate. They settled around the kitchen table and Rick suddenly felt uncomfortable. He got up and joined Zach at the stove, but the alpha mate just looked at him and shook his head. “Go sit down. I’ll take care of this.”
“B-b-but—”
“Look, I’m not going to force you to do anything, but you know you have to talk with Jared. Why not now?”
Rick resisted the urge to scowl, or worse, stick his tongue out at Zach. He bowed his head and left Zach alone, but he heard him sigh deeply behind him. He sat back at the table and balled his hands together on his lap without looking up.
“Hello, Rick. I’m Jared, and this is Chogan, my mate.”
Rick peeked through his hair and nodded. “I’m R-R-Rick. This is C-C-Cole.”
Jared obviously didn’t expect Rick to shake his hand because he didn’t even reach out to him, but he did for Cole. “I know Cole. Nice to see you again.”
“Same here,” Cole answered.
“Can I ask why you’re here?”
“Can I tell him?” Cole asked Rick. Rick nodded and Cole smiled at him before turning back to Jared. “I’m Rick’s mate.”
“Congratulations to both of you.” Jared’s voice was soft, as if he were afraid of scaring Rick off. “Do you want to talk now, Rick?”
Rick shrugged, but Jared didn’t seem to mind his lack of response. “We can go in the living room if you’re more comfortable talking there.”
“Here’s f-f-fine.”
“Okay. So, Zach and Kameron told me about what happened to you. They didn’t give me details, don’t worry, but they did tell me you’ve stuttered all your life. Is that right?”
Rick nodded.
“Okay. It would have been easier to start when you were a child, but I’m pretty sure I can help you, if not to get rid of it completely, to at least help diminish it. We need to reduce the stress you’re under first. We obviously can’t use drugs, but there’s a therapy I’d like to use with you if you’re okay with it. It’s called fluency shaping. It consists of techniques that’ll help you improve your speech and breathing techniques. There’s even a device you can use that’ll help you with it, but you can’t use it on its own, not if you want lasting results.”
Rick nodded and tried to keep his hopes down.
“I also want you to talk with someone about what happened to you. It’s obvious a lot of your stress comes from your past, and the speech therapy won’t help much if you don’t work on that too. You’ll have to discuss the stutter and start talking more, even if you don’t like it. I’m trying to find a specialist to help you, but it�
��s not easy, not if we have to stick with shifters. If I don’t find anyone, we’ll have to go the human route, which should be fine unless you say something about shifters. That’s for the speech part. For the psychological one, I already found someone. He’ll get here sometime next week and will work with you and other members of the pack. Is that okay with you?”
Rick nodded and Cole cleared his throat next to him. Rick looked at him and Cole smiled. “Say it aloud, pup. You heard the doc, you’ll have to do it anyway sooner or later. No one here will make fun of you or hurt you for it.”
“Y-y-yes.”
Jared beamed at him. “Perfect.”
“Lunch is ready, guys. I hope you don’t have anything against sandwiches,” Zach said from behind them. Everyone got up to help set the table, and Zach disappeared to call Kameron.
Rick washed his hands and vaguely listened to the conversation the other three men were having. The fact that they were talking about him as if he wasn’t even there was more than a little annoying, but stopping them would mean talking. Rick wasn’t sure he was ready to do that, no matter what Jared said.
It was weird, really. He’d hoped for years that someone would finally help him get free from Erskine and from his stutter, and now that he had it, he wanted nothing more than to run away.
“You okay?”
Rick smiled tightly at Zach and nodded.
“It’s a bit overwhelming, huh?”
“Y-y-yes.”
“You found your mate and now you might even get rid of the stutter. Those are two huge things. Need a bit of alone time to digest it? I can keep Cole and Jared here if you want to.”
“O-o-okay. T-t-thank you.”
Zach smiled warmly and turned to the table. He gave Rick a small push with his ass and got everyone’s attention. “Guys, have you seen the pepper?”
Rick didn’t wait. He slipped out of the kitchen through the back door. He was pretty sure Cole had seen him, but the man didn’t acknowledge it, so Rick let it go. He quickly walked to the edge of the forest and disappeared between the trees. It didn’t take him long to get to his favorite hiding spot, but it was already occupied. “Hi, Arlen.”
Rick Page 4
