Wild Roses

by Hannah Howell

  “You need Ella Carson.”

  “Yes, curse her. Even when I was working nearly every night and day, I still thought about my wild mountain rose. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise, Ella is what I want. And I find I must agree with my father when he says that I have to do all in my power to get her or I will regret it for the rest of my life. So, now I’m prepared to concede defeat. I’ll go to Wyoming and see if I can mend some fences.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Muttering a curse, Ella swatted at a fly. She had been banished to the shaded front porch to sit on the swing and sip cool lemonade like some frail parlor doll, she thought angrily. The news of her approaching motherhood had been announced within hours of her faint in the kitchen, nearly a month ago. She had not fainted again, but then no one let her lift anything heavier than a feather pillow or let one ray of the summer sun touch her skin. The only thing she got much pleasure out of any longer was a ride in the afternoon, but they had managed to make that tediously safe as well. She was only allowed to ride Muffin, an old mare who plodded along at a steady, very slow pace no matter what one did to her or what happened around her. The most daring thing they allowed was to sometimes, though rarely, let her ride alone, but only if she told them exactly where she was going and how long she intended to be gone. Although, she mused, the few times she had been out alone, she had always felt as if someone was watching her, but she had not yet caught them at it. This pregnancy, she decided, was going to be a very long one.

  The door creaked and Ella scowled at her aunt even though she knew she would be glad of a little company. Louise looked radiantly happy, almost skipping over to the swing to sit down beside her. Although Ella usually liked to see her aunt happy, in her current mood it only irritated her more. Since she was so miserable, she felt it only just that everyone else should be too. Louise’s euphoria was like rubbing salt in her wounds.

  “George is coming,” Louise announced, smoothing out the piece of paper she had inadvertently crumpled in her hand. “He sent me this message.”

  “Oh? When did that arrive?” asked Ella.

  “Joshua brought it back with him when he returned from buying supplies in town.”

  “So? When is the groom to arrive?” Ella pushed aside all thoughts of her own unwed state, as well as the lack of any word from Harrigan, and struggled to be happy for her aunt.

  “In about an hour. Probably less, as he said an hour when he wrote this, and Joshua delivered it about half an hour ago.” Louise laughed softly at Ella’s shock. He arrived too late to ride out here yesterday, so he took a room in town. ”

  It took Ella a moment to overcome her surprise, and then she asked, “So now you’ll start planning the wedding?”

  “Yes, if George is still of a mind to marry me.”

  “Auntie, I do not think he would travel all this way just to tell you he’s changed his mind.”

  “No, of course not. Then again, he is a very honorable man. He might just feel that he needs to say such things to my face, not with a letter or a telegram.” Louise lightly chewed on her bottom lip as she studied Ella.

  “Ah, I see,” Ella murmured after enduring her aunt’s stare for a moment. “You wish to be alone with George.”

  Louise grimaced. “Yes. I just didn’t know how to ask you to, well, go away for a while. The boys are all off doing their chores. I just had to ask them not to return unannounced or too soon.”

  “But I presented you with a rather large problem.” Ella leaned over to kiss her aunt on the cheek, then stood up. “Not to worry. I’ll just take my plod on Muffin a little early today. I’ll get my bonnet and be on my way.” As she started into the house, Louise right behind her, Ella added, “By the time I get myself ready I’ll have decided where I will be riding and tell you before I leave.”

  “Never mind, dear. I know,” Louise said, distracted as she hurried to the kitchen. “Muffin rides the same trail every time she leaves the stables.”

  Ella gaped after her aunt, torn between laughing and screaming. Louise’s unusual agitation was amusing, but the revelation that even the small freedom she thought she had was a lie angered her. Muffin had been sold to her aunt with the ranch and had probably been plodding along the same path for years. As soon as she returned from her ride, Ella intended to remind everyone that she was pregnant, not an invalid, and she would repeat it incessantly until someone listened to her.

  Louise blushed and pulled free of George’s passionate greeting to look at Harrigan. As she studied him while he grinned and slouched against the porch railing, she prayed she was not setting Ella up for more pain. George was sure that Harrigan loved Ella, and Harrigan had said so himself, but Louise was still uncertain. Harrigan had not treated Ella well, yet suddenly he walked away from his family and his work to offer the girl his heart. It seemed far too good to be true.

  “Decided yet?” Harrigan asked quietly, a little unsettled by Louise’s intense stare, but determined not to show it.

  “Not really,” she replied. “I just find it hard to understand how you could walk away from her in Philadelphia, then, a few months later, toss aside all you have back there to walk back to her. However, we don’t have the time to discuss this as thoroughly as I would like. We’ve stuck Ella on an old mare that walks the same path every time she’s saddled and does it in a pretty regular amount of time. You have to go now if you’re going to catch Ella alone.” Louise gave him the directions to a shady spot near the creek where Muffin always stopped for a drink. “Ella always dismounts to wash her face and hands. Just remember one thing, Harrigan Mahoney. If you hurt that child again, even George won’t be able to stop me from making you pay for it.”

  “Understood.”

  Harrigan hurried down the steps, mounted his horse, and immediately set out after Ella. He easily pushed aside a sense of insult caused by Louise’s mistrust. He knew he had earned it and that he would have to work hard to gain that trust now. Louise was wrong to worry about Ella being hurt, however. The only person whose heart was on the line was himself. He had handed his business over to his younger brother Patrick, said farewell to his entire family, and traveled hundreds of miles just to ask a little, green-eyed girl if she would take him. All Ella had to do was say yes or no.

  Ella sighed and dismounted after Muffin plodded up to the edge of the creek and began to have herself a long, leisurely drink. If she had not been so lost in thoughts of Harrigan every time she had gone riding, she would have noticed how Muffin had so faithfully gone to the same spot at the creek. She had been deluded enough to think that she had found the cool, tree-shaded spot all on her own.

  “I seem to have become as great a creature of habit as you, old girl,” she murmured as she knelt by the creek, wet her handkerchief in the water, and wiped the dust from her hands, face, and neck.

  Just as Ella proceeded to cup her hands together, intending to scoop up some of the clear water and take a drink, she tensed. She was sure she had just heard a horse snort. Muffin had not made the noise, she mused, as she looked at the horse who was placidly munching on some of the sweet grass at the creek’s edge. It took her a moment to realize that it was silly to look to Muffin for some sign of an intruder or danger. The horse probably would not blink an eye if a rabid bear was thundering through the brush.

  As she turned her head to look around, beginning to doubt that she had heard anything, for it had been quiet since that one abrupt sound, a pair of boots entered her line of vision. Her heart crept up into her throat even as her gaze crept up the tall lean body standing in those boots. She knew it was Harrigan even before she saw his face. That strong body was painfully familiar. Shock numbed her mind and the only word she could clearly form in her confused thoughts was why?

  “Speechless?” Harrigan asked, aching to yank her into his arms, but knowing that he had to go very slowly. “I must record this moment in my journal. Silence is something I have never inspired in you before.”

  As he ha
d hoped, his gentle sarcasm helped her recover from her shock. She abruptly snapped her mouth shut and the color returned to her cheeks. The look of mistrust and anger that flared in her beautiful eyes was something he had expected and was prepared to deal with. What troubled him as he sat down beside her was the hint of fear he could see in her expression. He was not sure what she feared and could not fathom why she would fear anything he could say or do.

  Ella’s first thought as her mind cleared was that someone had told Harrigan about the child. A small, calm voice which kept saying firmly that no one at the ranch would ever betray her was all that kept her from panicking, jumping up, and running away. The fear that somehow he knew her secret did not go away completely, however, for there was still the big question as to why he was sitting there, miles away from the family and the work in Philadelphia that he had been so determined to stay with.

  “Did you come to attend George and Louise’s wedding?” she finally asked, praying it was as simple as that, even though it could mean a lot of pain for her to endure. Harrigan would be close, renewing all the feelings she had for him, but would still be completely unattainable.

  “That was part of it,” he replied. “A small part. Actually, I came for you.”

  “For me?” She tensed, terrified that he was going make her repeat the agonizing parting of three months ago. “I cannot return to Philadelphia, Harrigan. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to, even though my family is buried there.”

  “I was thinking that I could find some way to earn a living here in Wyoming. It’s a growing place. There must be a great deal of work a man can do out here.”

  Ella heartily wished she had some warning of his arrival. She was still reeling from the shock of his abrupt appearance. Her emotions were running rampant and she needed time to get them back under control, time Harrigan clearly had no intention of giving her. She ached to throw herself in his arms and taste again the passion that had been haunting her in her dreams. She wanted to be cold to him, to shield herself from any further hurt. She was also angry with him, infuriated by the way he could so confuse her.

  “Harrigan, what are you talking about? Perhaps it’s the surprise of seeing you, not only in Wyoming, but right here, that is making it so difficult to understand you.”

  Tentatively, Harrigan gave into the urge to touch her, smoothing his hand over her hair, stirred by the way it hung in a loosely tied, silken mass down her slim back. Ella tensed and eyed him warily, but did not pull away. Harrigan decided that a reluctant, tense acceptance was better than a complete rejection.

  “I’m not sure how I can make myself any clearer,” he said. “I came here for you.” He gently grasped her by the shoulders and turned her until she faced him directly. “I beat the Templetons, brought them to their knees, and restored the livelihood they had stolen from my family. That’s why I had to stay in Philadelphia. When it was all over I realized that it was the only reason to stay there.”

  “No, there was your family and your work.” The intensity in his voice and in his expression made her heart beat so hard and fast she could hear the throbbing in her ears. Afraid to allow her reckless heart to lead her, however, she struggled to remain calm and listen closely to everything he had to say.

  “I can find work anywhere or start a business here. I have a great many skills. My father always believed that the wider your knowledge, the better your chances of succeeding. I’ll miss my family. It would be a lie and an easy one for you to see through if I tried to claim otherwise, but they’re not completely out of my reach. I love them all dearly, but even they could not fill the emptiness I was afflicted with.”

  “The emptiness?”

  “There’s no other word for it.” He sighed and touched his forehead to hers. “From the moment I saw you, Ella, I have fought you as hard as any man has ever fought a woman, but I couldn’t kill what I was feeling. I need you, Ella, and I don’t mean just in my bed, although I grow weary of waking in the middle of the night all asweat from a hunger no other woman can feed.”

  “No other woman?”

  Ella cast aside the last of her wariness and doubt. He had not spoken of love, but a deep, rich feeling weighted his every word and she knew she would be a fool to demand it all right now. A sense of emptiness without her and a strong need for her had brought him to her. Both were feelings she easily recognized. If he did not love her now, there was every chance that he soon would. There was also a very good chance that he already did, that he had simply not put the word love to what he felt.

  Harrigan smiled crookedly and began to smooth his hands up and down her arms. “No other woman, and it wasn’t just because I was busy. Hell, I hadn’t had any woman for months before I met you.”

  “Which probably provided a reasonable explanation for why you wanted me,” she murmured, a teasing tone to her quiet voice.

  “You know me too well. Ella, I have treated you poorly from the start. It was not only wrong of me, but unfair. I know that now. I knew it then, more or less, but could not seem to stop myself. You had me twisted in knots from the start and in my confusion it made perfect sense to not believe you simply because I wanted to so badly.”

  “You had good reasons for your suspicions. People of my class had deceived and betrayed you, people closely tied with my own family. Yes, I know it was unfair, but I also understand it.” Ella relaxed in his hold when he enfolded her in his arms and savored the feel of his body next to hers.

  “My prejudices nearly got you killed. It was cowardice too. You made me feel things I did not want to feel. I knew any betrayal by you would cost me far more than Eleanor’s ever did or would. I still find it hard to believe that I allowed that fear to make me hand you over to your killer. If Harold had succeeded, I would have been guilty of your murder.” When he felt her fingers against his mouth, he kissed them, then looked down at her.

  “Only Harold is guilty of his crimes,” she said. “I never thought of you as his cohort or sharing his guilt. Stupid and pigheaded, maybe.” She smiled when he laughed. “I never liked or trusted the man, but I was slow to believe he would try to kill me, and I never suspected him of murdering my parents. Why should you have believed it when you don’t know him or me very well?”

  Ella was finding the conversation exciting as well as a heady revelation, but she decided it was going to be very hard to keep listening if Harrigan did not stop brushing soft, warm kisses over her face and neck. For far too many nights she had been tormented by the memory of his touch only to find her arms empty. She had decided that, sometimes, memory could be a hollow, cold thing. Now that he was there and she was in his arms again, could touch him and hear the steady beat of his heart, talking was no longer a priority for her. She slipped her hands beneath his coat and began to move them over his broad back, resenting the vest and crisp shirt that barred her fingers from reaching his warm skin.

  She realized he was having the same difficulty when he gently pushed her down onto the soft grass. As he sprawled on top of her, she could feel the taut need in every inch of his lean form and her body responded to it with a dizzying greed. Although she did not yet know what plans he had for her, he had left everything that mattered to him to seek her out and he had both explained his actions and apologized for them. He had said enough for now.

  “No more to say?” she asked in a husky voice, shifting her body so that he could more easily tug off her gown.

  “Do you need to hear more?” Harrigan could not take his gaze off her slender form as he reluctantly left her arms just long enough to tug off his boots, coat, and vest.

  “Can you talk and make love at the same time?” She shuddered as she undid his shirt and greedily stroked his smooth skin.

  “Not this time.” He laughed shakily at the awkward way he tugged off her linen drawers. “I am not sure I can even wait to get all these damned frilly clothes off you.”

  “Then just try not to rip them too badly,” she whispered as she tugged his mouth down to hers,
kissing him in a way that revealed her need, and, she suspected, her love.

  His kisses and caresses were feverish, but Ella shared his greed and the need for haste. Her passion already possessed her so completely and so fiercely that his every touch was almost painful. When he finally cast aside all attempts at a sweet, leisurely lovemaking and almost roughly joined their bodies, he apologized. Ella laughed, giddy with the feel of their bodies united again after so long. She wrapped her body around his and held him as close and as tightly as she could, matching and equaling the desperation behind his every move. Her release swept over her with such force, her cry was almost a scream. Harrigan quickly joined her, calling her name in a way that only enhanced her ecstasy. He said something else, but, even as she heard those three little words and acknowledged the fact that they were vitally important to her, Ella lost all ability to think.

  Harrigan inwardly grimaced as he tossed aside the cloth he had used to refresh them both, then sprawled at Ella’s side and took her into his arms. He had been a coward again, telling her how he felt only when he knew there was a good chance she could not hear him. Neither had he intended to lose all control and make love to her before they had said all that needed to be said. His only consolation was that she had been in as great a fever as he had. That also told him that perhaps, he did not need to be so afraid of baring his heart and soul. Ella had to care about him in some manner to be as starved for the passion they could share as he was.

  “That was undignified,” he murmured as he nuzzled her thick, tousled hair. “Sorry.”