First Sight

by Danielle Steel

  “I don’t know. I haven’t made plans yet,” he said in answer to her question. “Why? What did you have in mind?” He made it sound like he was open to the best offer, but she didn’t care how he viewed it. She had no intention of spending Christmas alone. Her whole purpose in being involved with him was to avoid solitude at crucial times, like Christmas and Thanksgiving. For the moment, her plan was not going well.

  “I always get sick in Mexico,” she said as she followed him into the kitchen, “and the Caribbean is a hell of a long way and hard to get to from the West Coast. The weather is unreliable in Florida this time of year, although South Beach is fun. What do you think of Hawaii?”

  “Is that an invitation?” He looked up at her, pleased, as he took three kinds of lettuce and a bag of tomatoes out of the fridge.

  “I think it is. How does that sound to you? We can leave on the twenty-third, and my office is closed till the third of January. That gives us eleven days. We could go to the Four Seasons on the Big Island, if I can get a room. Or maybe the Mauna Kea. The rooms aren’t as up-to-date, but they have a terrific beach. I actually like it better there. You’re never in the room anyway. It would be nice to get away.”

  “It sure would,” he said, leaning over to kiss her. “Are you sure you wouldn’t be missing something exciting here?”

  “Nothing I know of, or care about. What about you?”

  “I’m free as a bird.” He looked delighted, and she was pleased. Christmas was going to be a lot better than Thanksgiving. This was exactly why she was going out with him. He wasn’t the man of her dreams, but he was an antidote to solitude. And not being alone over the holidays was important to her, particularly given the painful memories she tried to dodge every year, which was challenging at best.

  “I’ll see what I can reserve this week.” She was planning to give the project to Jade.

  “You know, I just had an idea,” he said casually, as he put the lettuce in a colander to wash it. “What about St. Bart’s, in the Caribbean? So what if it takes us two days to get there. I hear it’s great, and we’ve got eleven days. What do you think?”

  “Too far to go,” she said practically. “I’ve been there. We’d have to spend a night in Miami each way, and I hate the little plane you have to take. It’s the only way to fly in to St. Bart’s, and it scares the shit out of me. The weather’s not that reliable in the Caribbean this time of year either. I vote Hawaii.” She didn’t point out to him that since she was paying, and inviting him, she had the only legal vote. She didn’t want to be rude to him. But in fact that was the deal. Her credit card, her choice.

  “Maybe you should check it out,” he persisted, as he spun the lettuce to dry it. “That’s where everybody who’s anybody goes.” He was still pushing for St. Bart’s.

  Timmie laughed at what he said, not sensing how serious he was about it. “That sounds like a great reason not to go. I don’t want to run into everyone I know from L.A., which is exactly what happened the last time I was there. St. Bart’s is actually a lot more fun if you’re on a boat, and can escape.” But there was no way she was going to charter a yacht, and spend exorbitant amounts of money for a brief vacation with him. For a honeymoon maybe, but not eleven days over the holidays with Zack, who hadn’t even bothered to call her on Thanksgiving. She hadn’t completely lost her mind. All she wanted was a nice, easy trip.

  “Are any of your friends going to be there on yachts?” He clearly had a serious interest in St. Bart’s, or whoever would be there. Timmie knew a lot of fancy movie people went to St. Bart’s. It was definitely one of the hot spots in the world.

  “Probably,” she said quietly. “But I have no desire to get trapped on a boat with a bunch of movie stars from L.A. I can’t think of anything worse.” Nor he of anything better. But he couldn’t figure out a way to convince her to fly in to St. Bart’s over the Christmas holidays, and he backed down gracefully when Timmie continued not to warm to the idea.

  “It’s going to be great,” he said to her, as they ate their salad. She was actually looking forward to the trip with him, and agreed. He was fun when you spoiled him a little and indulged him. And he was very nice about thanking her while they did the dishes together, and he made love to her that night. Clearly, he liked the plan, and was touched that she had suggested it to him.

  Timmie told Jade about it the next day, and asked her to see what she could do about a reservation at the Four Seasons on the Kona Coast. An hour later, Jade told her they had plane reservations on the twenty-third, direct to Kona, and a suite at the Four Seasons. It wasn’t their best one, but they had told her it was very nice, with a view of the ocean.

  “That was easy,” Timmie said, looking pleased, and she called Zack on his cell phone to tell him. “We’re all set. Four Seasons. Hawaii. Eleven days of sunshine, rest, and great weather. We leave on the twenty-third. I can’t wait.”

  “Me too,” he said, sounding delighted, and she was relieved he didn’t bring up St. Bart’s again. She had no desire to go all that way, nor to fly in on the tiny plane that scared her to death. Hawaii was perfect. Wonderful weather, and easy to get to. Nothing better. They were leaving in three weeks, and she could avoid Christmas entirely by being somewhere where she didn’t even have to look at Christmas trees, although she wanted to get Zack a gift, in addition to the trip.

  She bought him a good-looking rubber and stainless-steel diving watch at Cartier, which would be great for the trip and thereafter.

  “He’s a lucky guy,” Jade said drily when she saw the watch.

  “Don’t be such a sourball. It’s Christmas,” Timmie said, teasing her. “How was your date, by the way?” She hadn’t heard the latest bulletin since the week before. The coffee date at Starbucks with the architect had gone well, and so had lunch with two of the others. She had eliminated the fourth one because she thought he sounded weird on the phone, and the other two had dropped out of sight, or actually never appeared. David said the ratio was about right. He said you had to contact five or six, or sometimes even seven, to find one you liked. So far so good.

  “It was great,” Jade said, beaming, and she refrained from commenting that she didn’t think Zack deserved all that Timmie was doing for him. She was her boss after all. And at least Timmie wouldn’t be alone over the holidays, which Jade knew would have been hard for her. But she and David talked about it after Timmie left the office that night.

  “Look, it’s a tough dilemma for her,” David said compassionately. “It’s something we all deal with at some point. Do you sit home like the Virgin Mary, waiting for Prince Charming to come along? Or do you go out with Prince Not-So-Charming, and at least get out of the house and have some fun while you wait for the right guy to come along?”

  “And what if he never does?” Jade said, looking worried about their boss again.

  “That, my dear, is why God created Internet dating. It’ll improve your chances immeasurably. Ours anyway. Timmie’s in a tough spot. She just has to hope she gets lucky one day, and that the right guy will fall out of the sky into her lap.” But like Timmie, neither of them expected it to happen. Timmie had been alone for too long. And she had nearly convinced them both that Mr. Right would never come along.

  “It doesn’t happen like that,” Jade said sadly. She had been afraid for years now that Timmie would wind up alone. She worried about it more than Timmie, who said she had resigned herself years ago to ending her days alone. “I’m not even sure she cares anymore. She says she doesn’t. But I hate thinking of her like that. No one deserves a nice person in their life more than she does. She takes care of everyone else, all of us, all those orphans she supports. Why the hell can’t some intelligent guy see who she is and fall in love with her? He’d be one lucky man.”

  David looked pensive as he pondered the question. They were in complete agreement about the good luck Timmie deserved but hadn’t had, either in regard to her husband or her son. She was lucky in business and with money, but not much
else. “Maybe she needs to give up the guys like Zack in her life, to make room for the right one,” David said, looking thoughtful. “Maybe guys like him take up valuable real estate in her life. There’s no room for the right one to land.” They both believed that if the right guy turned up, she’d dump Zack in a hot second. But meanwhile, she continued to hang on, no matter how inadequate Zack continued to prove he was. The threat of solitude, particularly over the holidays, was still worse, in Timmie’s eyes. She knew that if she wound up alone over Christmas, she would be seriously depressed and she was willing to go to major lengths to avoid it, and even take Zack to Hawaii.

  Timmie and Zack left for Hawaii the morning of December 23. The flight was short and smooth. They arrived in Kona four and a half hours later, and Jade had arranged for a car and driver to take them to the hotel. The suite was beautiful. It had big open spaces, a view of the ocean, and a terrace called a lanai. She and Zack sat and watched the sunset on the first day, and the air was cool. It was chillier than Timmie had expected it to be, but it was comfortable and romantic and relaxed. She suggested they have room service that night, but Zack wanted to go to the restaurant, to see who was there. Timmie didn’t care. She hadn’t come to Hawaii to see people, only to relax and be with him. But she indulged him, and they went out for dinner.

  She wore a periwinkle-blue dress that was one of her own designs, with a matching cashmere shawl and gold sandals, long gold and diamond earrings, her hair down, and a gardenia behind her ear. She looked tropical and beautiful. Zack was wearing a red Hawaiian shirt, flip-flops, and white jeans, and looked sexier than ever. He was a striking-looking man, and would look even better in a day or two with a deep tan. It was an easy, pleasant evening, and they both went to bed early. Zack was disappointed he hadn’t seen anyone important in the restaurant, and she suggested that more people would probably come just after Christmas or for New Year’s.

  The next day was brilliantly sunny, and there was a surprisingly strong wind. The pool attendants couldn’t put the umbrellas up because of it, and Timmie braided her hair to keep it from flying all over the place. They had lunch at the golf restaurant, and Zack thought he recognized a well-known producer, but he disappeared again before they had finished lunch. And finally, they went back to their room to rest. It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve, and after dinner that night, Timmie gave him his gifts. She had given him a stack of their men’s sportswear, and two beautiful medium-weight suits that he could wear in L.A. all year. And the Cartier diving watch, which he was crazy about. He thanked her profusely for her generosity and then handed her a small box. It was a beautiful simple gold bangle he had gotten for her at Maxfield’s. It was the kind of thing she would wear constantly. They wished each other a Merry Christmas, and then sat on the lanai, looking at the moonlight on the ocean, and drinking champagne.

  “This is perfect,” Zack said happily. “Thanks for bringing me,” he said, and sounded as though he meant it.

  “It’s a nice Christmas for me this way too,” she said, smiling at him. He was easy to travel with, seemed grateful for the things she did for him, and she enjoyed his company. She knew she would have been miserable alone at home, engulfed in memories, solitary, and depressed for days. Coming to Hawaii had been the perfect idea.

  They spent Christmas Day at the pool, and went to Waimea, up the mountain, to dinner at Merriman’s that night. And they were talking about going to the beach at the Mauna Kea the next day, unless the surf was too rough. The wind had been strong for two days. And when they woke the next morning, they were disappointed to see that the sky was gray, and it started raining by late afternoon. It rained for the next three days. They stayed in their room, read, talked, watched TV, and ordered room service. Timmie didn’t feel like going to the restaurant. They were cozy in their room.

  The weather finally cleared the day before New Year’s Eve, the wind died down, and the ocean was finally smooth. They took a cab to the Mauna Kea hotel, and lay on the beach. And at the restaurant at lunchtime, Timmie saw three major movie stars she knew. She casually said hello to them, introduced Zack, and then walked back to their chairs on the beach. She noticed when they sat down again, he looked seriously annoyed. She had no idea why he was suddenly in a bad mood.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked innocently. He clearly had a problem.

  Smoke was nearly coming out of his ears. “Why didn’t you want to have lunch with them? They invited us to sit down,” Zack said, looking petulant and irritated.

  Timmie looked surprised both by his tone, and the look on his face. “We already ate. And I didn’t want to intrude. They were just being polite. And I don’t know them that well.”

  “They acted like you were old friends. They all kissed you, for chrissake. And one of them is producing a movie. He said so when you asked him what he’s been doing.”

  “I kiss a lot of people, and I know a lot of people producing movies. That doesn’t mean I want to have lunch with them. They’re on vacation, Zack. So are we. I’d rather be with you than sit around for two hours watching them drink mai tais when we could be lying on the beach.”

  “I’d rather have had lunch with them. It may be no big deal to you, but it is to me.” He looked furious, and as though she had robbed him of a golden opportunity. He didn’t speak to her for the rest of the afternoon, and he went swimming by himself without asking if she wanted to come in. And afterward, he went snorkeling alone. He was still cool with her that afternoon when they went back to their hotel. It was not the first time, but it was a revelation of what mattered most to him. Meeting important people, showing off, and being seen. None of which mattered to her. But she knew that about him.

  “Look, I’m sorry, Zack,” she finally broached the subject with him again. “I like staying to myself on vacation. I don’t need to see a lot of people, I just want to be with you.” He didn’t look impressed. It was in fact a compliment to him, that she preferred his company to that of other people she knew.

  “Is that why you didn’t want to go to St. Bart’s?” he asked angrily. “Because that’s where all the right people go. The people who want to see and be seen. This place is a dump,” he said angrily. “There’s no one here except fat suburbanites and their kids.” Timmie looked shocked at what he said, and seriously annoyed. He was pushing his luck. She was willing to accept the fact that they had separate lives and liked different things, but she was not willing to put up with his being flat-out rude.

  “Are you here for a vacation?” she asked him, “or are you looking to be discovered at the pool?” There was an edge to her voice as she said it, which he noticed and angered him even more.

  “Maybe both,” he said honestly. “What’s wrong with that? You have a lot of opportunities to meet people that I don’t. I have to use whatever chance I get. Networking is very important to me. Something major could have happened if we’d had lunch with those three guys today.” She didn’t tell him that if something major were going to happen to him, it would have happened a long time ago. He was already too old. At forty-one, he wasn’t going to be discovered, and she didn’t want him “networking” by using her to make connections on the beach. He was prying her eyes open to his motives, whether she wanted him to or not. What he was saying to her, and who he was showing himself to be, was impossible to ignore.

  “Zack, nothing would have happened,” she said quietly. “They’re on vacation. So are we. Half the universe tries to take advantage of people like that. They don’t want people working them, any more than I do. I hate it when people do that to me.”

  “Oh right, this is a special little club, isn’t it? How could I forget? A secret society of famous people who protect each other and keep out riff-raff like me. Well, pardon me.” He was shouting, and Timmie looked upset. She didn’t like any of what he had just said. None of it was respectful or even polite. She had brought him on vacation, and he was using her. That much was obvious even to her. He had done it on a smaller scale before, t
hough he had never been as blunt.

  “That’s a rotten thing to say, Zack. This isn’t a special club. Sometimes successful or famous people come here, and famous people don’t want to be used. No one does.” And then she added softly, “Neither do I.”

  His eyes blazed. “Is that what you think I’m doing here? Using you? Hell, if I’m using you, I’m sure not getting a lot out of it, am I? Except a suntan and a few days on the beach. For chrissake, if you weren’t such a fucking recluse, and so discreet all the time, and so afraid to be who you are, we could be in St. Bart’s, having a hell of a lot more fun.” She was shocked by everything he said. It was a major slap in her face, but maybe better to know what he thought of her. Apparently, not much.

  “What did you expect to get out of this vacation,” she asked him bluntly, “other than a suntan? Because frankly, that’s all I had in mind. I didn’t invite you here to be discovered, or network, or make contacts on the beach. I invited you to spend some time here with me, so we could relax and have some fun. Or is that too boring for you, since apparently you think I’m a recluse?” She was hurt by everything he had said. She knew he wasn’t in love with her, she had no illusions on that score, nor was she in love with him. But everything he had said to her showed a blatant lack of kindness, affection, or respect.

  “For chrissake, Timmie, you damn near are a recluse. You never go to anything you’re invited to. You turn down practically every premiere, unless you think you have to go because Timmie O did the clothes. You never go to parties. You think you’re too old to go to clubs and bars, which is utter crap. I’m practically your age, and I go all the time. All you do is hide in both your houses, and work your ass off. And now you want to sit in your room and hide here, instead of getting out, seeing who’s here, and working the crowd a bit.”