Losing Control

by McClung, Mila

  Back outside, she handed Taury the bottle and shyly slipped off her bikini top and bottom, watching him rise to attention at the sight of her.

  “Lie down.” he said softly. “I’ll oil you up.”

  She couldn’t help but giggle as he slathered the oil on her from face to toe. Then he gave her the bottle, and she did the same to him. Afterwards they both rolled over and oiled each other’s backsides. Taury got carried away, began to massage Fawn’s buttocks. Then he pulled them apart, and entered her from behind. She gasped in delight. For once the pain kept quiet, allowed her to enjoy the new experience. She came without him even manipulating her, just from the sheer power of his movements. He held off until he was certain she was ready then he exploded within her. Fawn squirmed beneath him, jutting her hips up to increase the wonderful, oily friction till she could take no more.

  Once they were spent they sprawled next to each other on the giant towel and let the warm breezes wash over their slick, rippling skin. The sky above was perfectly blue, not a cloud anywhere. The sun was lazy and gentle. They became still, listening to each other breathe. The rhythmic swoosh of the ocean filled the air, accompanied by the chatter of birds and the laughter of children far down the beach. Fawn closed her eyes, tried to capture the moment and file it away in her mind. It was something she wanted to be able to bring out and relive over and over.

  “A fifty for your thoughts,” Taury said, his voice so unexpected, it snapped her out of her reverie.

  “A fifty? Is inflation that bad?”

  “Probably, but really, your thoughts are worth more … to me, anyway.”

  “You’re sweet. I was thinking about how good we are, and how I never want to take you or the time we have together for granted.”

  “I was thinking the same thing! Fawn,” he paused, rose up to face her, “let’s get married, right away! We could drive down to Mexico, or fly to some exotic place. Wherever you want to go … just let’s do it today!”

  She was overwhelmed. “Today? But that’s impossible. There are all sorts of plans that would have to be made. I mean, I don’t care about a fancy wedding. I had that; the church, the big reception, the whole, expensive ritual. I honestly hated every second of it! I’d settle for the two of us on a beach somewhere with three or four close friends and a preacher! But aren’t there rules to be followed? Or at least a license to be bought?”

  “We can work that out on the way.”

  “But why the sudden rush? Has something happened?”

  “I keep getting this feeling that if we don’t get married now we might never have the chance again.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. But let’s do this right! I’ll go down and shower and you get all dolled up. Maybe wear that red dress you bought. We’ll hit the town; have a real, romantic date. Then I’ll … well, I won’t give it away. I want you to be surprised. See you in awhile!”

  He pulled on his shorts, headed down the hill. Fawn tried to catch her breath but Taury was like some sort of benevolent tornado, snatching up everything in his path.

  She shook her head, smiled and rushed into the bungalow.

  Dinner was a five star affair in one of the best - and costliest – restaurants in Malibu. Fawn wore the red sundress and matching heels, as he had requested. Taury, dressed in a wickedly handsome gray suit, ordered everything, and his taste far exceeded his years. Caviar, champagne, quail, asparagus – all things decadent and rich were on their gold-rimmed plates and in their crystal goblets. For dessert the uppity waiter brought a sinful dark chocolate mousse. Fawn tasted it and moaned with pleasure.

  “Is it as good as me?” Taury asked, playing.

  “Oh, no, nothing is as good as you, Candyman.”

  He laughed, kissed her hand.

  “It’s time for my surprise. Ready?”

  “Here? I don’t think I’m that adventurous!”

  He laughed again. “There’s a thought! But it hadn’t occurred to me, I’m sorry to say. I was talking about this.”

  He stood, bent down on one knee, pulled a tiny black suede box out of his pocket.

  “Fawn, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

  She could see the earnestness in his eyes. This was no longer the time for joking or being coy. Fawn felt a single tear roll down her powdered cheek.

  “How could I say no?”

  “I think you’re supposed to say yes.”

  “Then yes, yes, yes!”

  He removed a ring from the box, fitted it carefully on her finger. It caught the dim restaurant light, sent it out in a prism of colors. Fawn fell in love with it immediately. It wasn’t too gaudy, or small – but just right.

  “Oh, Taury, it’s lovely! Did you pick it out yourself?”

  “Of course, I did. I’d never let anyone else do that. Do you like it?”

  “Yes, darling! It’s beautiful!”

  She threw her arms about his neck. The usually reserved restaurant crowd burst into applause.

  “We’re making a spectacle of ourselves, Taury.”

  “No, we’re not. We’re being an inspiration. These people will be talking about us all week!”

  “Well, they are certainly staring. I’ve noticed a couple of rough characters watching us all evening.”

  Taury lost his smile. “Where are they?”

  “Back there, near the kitchen door.”

  He turned solemnly, his gaze landed on two brutish men in black suits. They nodded, as if they recognized him.

  “Of course that’s where they’d be.”

  “Who are they? Do you know them?”

  “Yeah. Well, I guess it’s time for you to meet the Queen.”

  “I don’t understand, Taury. Please tell me what’s going on. You’re frightening me.”

  “I’ll explain on the way.”

  He motioned to the men; they stood, came over to the table.

  “Greg, Henry, how’re you doing?” Taury questioned.

  “Fine, sir,” one of them answered.

  “Is the plane waiting?”

  “As always, sir; your mother has been hoping you’d ask. She’d like for you and your new lady friend to attend the fundraiser tomorrow night.”

  “I’m sure she would. Let’s get this over with then.”

  “The car is outside. Greg can take your truck back to the beach house, and catch up with us later.”

  “Whatever. Come on, Fawn. You’ve been wanting to see where I live in San Francisco. Well, I guess tonight is the night!”

  He took her elbow, led her out the doors, the two men following. Once in the parking area, Henry pointed to the confused valet. He hurried off, returned in a sleek black limo. Greg retrieved Taury’s truck and left without speaking.

  “Please tell me what’s going on, Taury?” Fawn begged as they climbed into the long car. “Who exactly are these men?”

  “They’re my babysitters,” he sighed. “Or my watchers, my keepers … hired by my mother so she will know where I am and what I’m doing at all times. I foolishly thought she’d leave me alone once I moved to the beach house.”

  “But you are of age. What can she say about anything you do?”

  “Oh, plenty, I’m sure. Are you up for it, Fawn? Can you handle meeting the queen of all mothers?”

  She thought he was kidding, but the look on his face was stone serious. Fawn didn’t answer, but wrapped his hand in hers and settled back into the plush leather seat.

  TEN

  They had arrived in San Francisco by plane quite late and were rushed into what Fawn imagined was one of those ritzy Nob Hill mansions but she couldn’t see much of it by streetlights. She could tell that it was about four stories high, with a couple of bay windows, and it was perched on top of a hill at the end of a row of similar houses.

  A stiff, slick-haired butler with heavy-lidded eyes who seemed to have stepped straight out of a 1930s screwball comedy met them at the grand entrance.

  “Good Evening, Mr. Trahern,”
he said rather coldly.

  “Hello, Jardin. How’s it hanging?”

  Fawn suppressed a nervous giggle as the butler ignored the rude greeting and cleared his throat.

  He led Taury and Fawn up an elegant, gilded staircase to separate bedrooms “as per the Madame’s wishes, sir”. Then he bade them an abrupt goodnight and disappeared down a darkened hallway.

  Taury slipped into Fawn’s room before she’d even had time to take it all in.

  “Quaint, isn’t it?”

  “Well, no, really,” she sighed as she glanced round at the ornate wooden trim, brocaded walls and Victorian furnishings. “Am I dreaming, Taury? Is this really where you live?”

  He put his arms about her, kissed her forehead.

  “This is the family mausoleum. I keep a small apartment near the factory. My mother lives here.”

  “You say the word ‘mother’ as if it’s a curse.”

  “It is, when you’re describing Queen Elizabeth Fielding Trahern.”

  “You don’t love your mother, Taury?”

  “I never knew my mother.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Take me to bed, and I’ll explain.”

  “Oh, I don’t know if I could in a place like this.”

  “Well, we can lie together and talk, at least.”

  She nodded; they shed their fabric trappings and snuggled under the finest linen sheets and hand-woven blankets. Fawn felt like she was in some time travel scheme – there weren’t any signs of technology in the room, not even a digital clock.

  “All right, what did you mean by all those cryptic statements?”

  He blew out a hard breath. “I guess I should start from the beginning, when my dad died. I was eighteen, fresh from a boarding school in Europe. That’s where I’d spent most of my childhood. My summer vacations were taken up by camp and visiting Grandpa Leo at the beach house. I never lived here more than a week at a time, over Christmas, or for my birthday. Anyway, I came back here for the funeral. No one else seemed interested in running the company. They all wanted to sell it to a competitor. But my mother, Elizabeth, was determined to keep it, and make it more profitable. She talked me into taking over, said she’d hire the best experts to help me.”

  “I was so upset at losing my dad; I guess I let her convince me that he would have wanted it that way. I dug in, became some kind of workaholic machine. The company was the only thing on my mind, night and day. Then, a couple of years later I took a rest at his weekend retreat and found a personal note from him hidden in a clothes drawer. The note said that Elizabeth was not my mother. He had been having an affair with a Swedish maid who gave birth to me. Shortly after, the maid, Inger, disappeared and Elizabeth took over, raising me as her own.”

  “So where is your real mom?”

  “I don’t know. In the letter Dad said she just left one day. He tried to find her but the trail ran dry.”

  “Did you look for her after you found out?”

  “No, I figured if she hadn’t come forth by then, she didn’t care.”

  “Maybe she died.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  “But it wasn’t Elizabeth’s fault that you weren’t her son. Why do you hate her? Don’t deny it. I can hear it in your voice every time you say her name.”

  “It’s true. I do hate her. She drove my father to seek out love somewhere else. She certainly never gave him any of hers. She doesn’t have any.”

  “Like my mom. Was she excluded from her parents’ love, too?”

  “No, it isn’t that simple with Elizabeth. She’s one of those takers. They want control over everybody and everything. But instead of handling things herself, she’d rather sit up here in this creepy old house like some matriarch of old, and command people to do her dirty work.”

  “Well, you don’t have to do what she wants. Can’t you refuse?”

  “No one refuses Elizabeth. It isn’t done. My poor sister, Libby, actually allowed herself to be married off to some royal brat in Europe, just because Elizabeth wanted to be able to say we had royalty in the family. She’s been trying to hook me up with a minor princess but I avoid the subject by avoiding her.”

  “Are you afraid of Elizabeth, Taury?”

  “I always was as a kid. But I’ve learned to ignore her as best I can these days.”

  “So why did you bring me up here?”

  “I thought I might as well. I didn’t want her coming down to the beach house. She has a way of belittling anything worthwhile. I guess I didn’t want her saying something cruel about my renovations.”

  “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Remember that old childhood phrase? It’s so untrue.”

  “I think words hurt worse than anything, if you let them.”

  She wrapped him up tight in her warm, naked limbs.

  “You don’t have to worry about me, Taury. I won’t let her words hurt me. That’s what you’re really afraid of, isn’t it? She’s going to say something ugly about me, or where I come from.”

  “Knowing her; she will, yes.”

  “I meant to ask you before … why did you pick someone like me when you could have a minor princess?”

  “Because you are beautiful, inside and out! Besides, the princess has a voice that could break glass!”

  “So do I, at certain times, if you know what I mean?”

  “True, but when we’re making love I’m too preoccupied to notice.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah, want to find out?”

  She grinned; the warmth of him under the covers had relaxed her enough that she was ripe for another go-round. It didn’t matter whose house she was in – though she did wonder if the old broad had installed secret cameras in the bedrooms.

  Morning found them snoozing peacefully together in the serene sunlight that poured through the open curtains - until Jardin banged on the door.

  “Madame requests your presence at breakfast, Mr. Trahern,” he forcefully uttered. “It is served promptly at seven, as you recall.”

  Fawn was awake, listened to the clip clop of the man’s shoes as he walked away.

  “Taury?”

  “I heard him. Want a quick shower?”

  “Um, yes, I could certainly use one after last night.”

  “You had the pain again, didn’t you?”

  “I hoped you hadn’t noticed.”

  “I’m taking you to my doctor this afternoon…”

  “But Taury…”

  “No excuses. I want to know what’s wrong.”

  She nodded; she wanted to know what was wrong with her, too. And she was tired of conjuring up all sorts of horrible scenarios to explain the pain. Still, she was sure it was only a kinked muscle or some such annoyance. Her love-hungry body wasn’t used to carrying on like a newlywed in Tahiti.

  After a quick but fun shower they threw on their clothes from the night before and headed down the hallway to the open staircase. Fawn craned her neck, admiring the beauty of its curves and adornments, thinking this must be the way the robber barons and gold-rush millionaires lived back in the early days. She remembered reading somewhere that most of the original Nob Hill mansions were destroyed by the earthquake in 1906. This one was built after that, probably. And though it was smaller than those bastions of greed and inequity it was no less imposing.

  Taury held her hand, ushered her into a bright dining room papered in a gold Chinoiserie mural embellished with white parrots and vines. A rather aristocratic woman sat at the dark-stained Chinese Chippendale table. She was wearing a simple but elegant cream-colored dress, her black hair pulled back in a Sixties French twist, which made her seem older than she was. Fawn was taken aback by the woman’s beauty – her prominent cheekbones and perfectly pale skin were worthy of a Renaissance painting. But her black eyes, though pretty, harbored an untrusting glare.

  “Come in, Taurus, and introduce me to your companion.”

  She stood as they neared the table.
Taury pulled out a chair for Fawn; she waited until Elizabeth sat down before taking her seat. She noticed that the woman had not offered her a handshake, as most courteous souls would.

  “This is my fiancée,” Taury announced.

  Elizabeth Trahern turned to Fawn without blinking an eye. Fawn had thought Taury’s words would register some emotion across her face, but she was coolly detached, on the surface, anyway.

  “Your name is Fawn Hamilton, I believe?”

  “Yes, that’s her name.”

  “I was speaking to her, Taurus.”

  “Yes, it is,” Fawn replied.

  “And you are twenty two years old? And divorced?”

  “Apparently, you’ve done your homework, Mrs. Trahern.”

  “You’re right, I have. Jardin, serve us please.”

  The butler entered and began doling out fancy bits of quiche and fruit tarts and slices of bacon and ham. Fawn looked at Taury, he winked at her; she smiled.

  Once Jardin had left the room, Elizabeth delicately nibbled at her food, her eyes never glancing at the plate. They remained locked on Fawn’s face, in an effort to intimidate her or what, Fawn wasn’t sure but she was determined not to falter in front of this strange, ominous woman.

  “You’ve given her a ring, I see.”

  “I have.”

  “Did you set a date?”

  “Not yet, but it will be as soon as possible.”

  “Why the hurry? Are you expecting, Ms. Hamilton?”

  “If you’ve looked into my life as thoroughly as I imagine you have, Mrs. Trahern, I suspect you already know I haven’t been able to conceive a child.”

  “Taurus, your taste is improving. She’s much smarter than the last one you brought here.”

  Fawn pointed her gaze at Taury; he lowered his head.

  “Ah, I see I’ve opened a can of worms this morning. I’ll retire to my study while you explain yourself. Join me when you’ve finished eating.”

  She rose, walked out of the room with all the regal pomposity of a true queen.

  “That wasn’t so bad,” Fawn sighed with a bit of relief.

  “Just wait, the day isn’t over yet. What do you think of her?”