Losing Control

by McClung, Mila

  “I’m not sure I should say. I don’t like using four letter words.”

  “I can think of a five letter word that describes her perfectly. Has something to do with female dogs.”

  “Taury, who was she talking about?”

  “A girl I thought I loved a long time ago. I was only seventeen then, and so was she. Her name was Meg, and she came from the wrong part of the hill … the bottom. Elizabeth hated her at first sight, wound up secretly offering her … and her family … a fortune to go off to New York and forget me, which she did quite easily, I might add. Last I heard, she’d married some wealthy as sin Broadway producer and had triplets!”

  “Did that hurt you? I know it must have.”

  “For awhile, but I was young. Hell, I didn’t even sleep with her, you know? So I couldn’t have been too serious. And I’m glad I waited. It made being with you even more special.”

  “I’m glad, too. Your mother … oh, I shouldn’t call her that! What do you call her? To her face, I mean.”

  “I still call her Mother. She doesn’t know that I found out about Inger.”

  “Why didn’t you tell her?”

  “Didn’t see any point to it. Are you up for this fundraiser tonight? If not, we’ll head on home and pack then fly to the moon or wherever. You still want to get married, right?”

  “Yes, but we can stay, if you’d like. It’s up to you.”

  “Sure, it might be fun. It’s a Venetian ball, with fancy outfits and masks. I haven’t been to one in years.”

  “What is she raising funds for, anyway?”

  “Politicians, of course. Elizabeth doesn’t do causes. That’s too trendy for her.”

  Fawn nodded; as they finished their breakfast she imagined the dame sitting with perfect posture at a Rococo desk decorated with elaborately initialed stationary, writing out letters in cursive and slipping them into dainty envelopes, like an alive though older version of Rebecca de Winter.

  ELEVEN

  The true picture was slightly different. They entered the dark-paneled study to find Elizabeth Trahern sitting at a sleek Parsons desk with a laptop – but her posture was perfect.

  She closed the laptop, threw a scrutinizing glance towards Fawn. Was she disappointed that her mild revelation had failed to cause a lovers’ spat?

  “I just received an email from Libra. She says the weather in Europe is splendid and would love for us to come visit. Do you think we could manage it, Taurus?”

  “You can go if you like but I don’t think I could stand watching Libby play at being a duchess. Besides, I have other plans.”

  “She’ll be sad. She misses you terribly.” She returned her gaze to Fawn’s guarded expression. “Well, did you enjoy your meal, Ms. Hamilton?”

  “Yes, it was very nice.”

  “Nice is hardly a word I’d use to describe anything in my beautiful house … much too bland … but I’ll accept that as a compliment. Sit down. Taurus, why don’t you go to the factory, and leave us alone? I’d like to get to know your fiancée.”

  “I’ll bet you would, but no doing! I’d never leave her alone with you.”

  “Taurus, you wound me.”

  “No one can wound you, Mother. If you want to get to know Fawn, you can do so while I’m here.”

  “Fine, if you think she can’t handle my questions.”

  “Oh, I’m sure she can. I just don’t want to leave her. I’m kind of stuck on her, you know?”

  “I remember the unbridled passion of youth. It burns like a fire then vanishes once the spark wears off, which usually happens fairly quickly, unless the object of that passion is quite desirable. I’m afraid he’ll grow tired of you before the year ends, Ms. Hamilton.”

  Fawn shook her head, thinking if all the woman could offer were lame insults she’d have no trouble dealing with her. Her own mother had cornered the market on that stuff years ago.

  “I disagree, Taury still feels it quite strongly … at least he did this morning … in the shower, as a matter of fact.”

  The look on Elizabeth Trahern’s face did not change but her eyes watered at the humiliation of Fawn’s announcement.

  “TMI, as the kids say. Taurus, does Ms. Hamilton know how much you are worth?”

  “I doubt if she cares, Mother.”

  “Oh, I’m certain you’re wrong there, dearest. At last total, Taurus had a net worth of roughly one hundred million dollars. Didn’t think candy was such a lucrative venture, did you, Ms. Hamilton? Or perhaps you did.”

  “It never crossed my mind. Taury and I don’t waste our precious time together talking about money.”

  “But I should imagine you do think about it occasionally, like when you first met him, and decided to shall we say take him for a ride?”

  Taury stood up, fuming.

  “That’s it! I will not sit here and allow you to put her down! Fawn is the love of my life, Mother! The sooner you accept that the better off you’ll be! Come on, Fawn! I want to show you the town!”

  He grabbed her hand, pulled her out of the room. Her face was beaming with pride and joy – “the love of my life” he had said. And she felt the same way. There could never be anyone else for her but Taury Trahern!

  He raided the basement garage, found a sporty Porsche – a bright yellow one – to drive around in. They headed for his apartment in an old neighborhood near the candy factory. The building looked like a set from The Maltese Falcon – very 1940s, and his apartment reflected the same. It was rather small, with a foyer leading into a trim living room decorated in muted colors with Bogart movie posters framed and mounted on either side of a very modern flat screen TV. An adjoining dining area led to a minuscule but efficient kitchen, and a balcony overlooking the industrial part of the city. Off the living room, in the rear, was a comfortable bedroom and bath.

  “Isn’t what you were expecting, I know, but it’s really just a place to drop my drawers and sleep.”

  Fawn laughed. “I like the imagery of that! But I’m not disappointed. I love it! Especially the Marlowe bed! Where did you find that? I’ve always wanted one!”

  “It’s a reproduction. Most of the furnishings in here are. I wanted an apartment that Sam Spade would be proud of. I’m kind of a film noir freak.”

  “Another thing to love about you; I can’t get enough of films like that!”

  “Would you like to see the factory? It’s only a block from here.”

  “I do! I remember taking a tour of a candy factory in third grade. I can still smell the chocolate!”

  He laughed, gave her a sweet kiss. “Fawn,” he hesitated.

  “What is it?”

  “I think I’d better call my doctor now, before I lose my concentration.”

  “Oh, all right.”

  He flipped open his phone, punched out the number. While he talked to a receptionist, Fawn strolled about the apartment, admiring his taste in DVDs and old vinyl records, and trying not to think about having to visit a doctor’s office again.

  “Well, that was a waste!” he growled as she returned to him.

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “Doctor Morrow is out of town … for a golf tournament, of all things! He won’t be seeing anyone until next week.”

  “I can wait.”

  “Maybe I could call somebody else.”

  “No, Taury, really, I can wait. It hasn’t hurt since last night.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “All right, but if it starts again, you’ll tell me? Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  “Okay. Let’s head out to the factory … I have a request before we go … you might think it’s kind of strange.”

  “What?”

  “Could you not wear your panties for the rest of the day?”

  “What? Go without them, in public?”

  “Yeah, I’ve always wanted to know how sexy that would feel, being beside you for hours, with you bottomless, and me not being able to do anyt
hing.”

  “Wouldn’t it drive you crazy?”

  “Yeah, but in a good way. Will you do it?”

  “Oh, Taury, I don’t know … what if someone noticed?”

  “Take them off, and walk around a bit.”

  She shrugged, did as asked. It felt so sinful and bare but free, too.

  “I can’t tell, and I’m staring right at you. As long as you stay out of the wind you’ll be fine.”

  “Ha! I’m so sure! Do the paparazzi ever follow you around? I’d hate to climb out of the Porsche and get my picture taken then have my muffin revealed to the whole world!”

  He started laughing. “You don’t have to worry about that! I don’t have a reality show so they leave me alone. Let’s go!”

  They left the apartment, boarded the elevator and rode the six stories down with Taury’s hand itching to take advantage of Fawn’s situation but he forced himself to be a gentleman.

  The Trahern Candy Company had opened as a tiny store in Oakland in 1910. From there Amos Ambling Trahern, an Irish immigrant who’d been a railroad builder in his youth, created a sweet empire that stretched from San Francisco to New York, from London to Shanghai. Everyone from one to a hundred and one loved Amos’ candy, or so said the plaque that welcomed visitors to the factory.

  Taury led Fawn around the production line, introducing her as his fiancée. She smiled demurely and shook as many hands as possible, while keeping at least one arm free to batten down her sundress. She wasn’t as uninhibited as Taury would like to believe. This whole situation mortified her. The factory had several floor grates that blew cool air from somewhere down below. She avoided them like they were hungry mouths ready to devour her, fearful that one might catch the skirt of her dress at just the wrong instant and give everyone a full monty.

  “Well, it worked for Marilyn Monroe,” Taury grinned when she told him her fears. “Remember that scene in the movie, The Seven Year Itch when the subway passes underneath the grate she’s standing on and her skirt flies up?”

  “She had panties on in that scene!” Fawn whispered.

  He laughed and pointed her towards the cafeteria. “Want some lunch?”

  “I wouldn’t mind. Can we go back to your apartment now?”

  “No, I want to show you the diner!”

  “The what?”

  He held open the cafeteria doors. They entered an enormous white room with a black and white tile floor, chrome tables with banana-patterned Formica tops and a jukebox that was playing My Boy Lollipop. Curvy Neon signs announced that they were in Amos’ Diner.

  “Oh, Taury, it’s wonderful!” Fawn sighed, forgetting her worries. “Who came up with this idea?”

  He put a hand to his chest.

  “Really? I’ll bet the workers love it!”

  “Yeah, they do. It gives them a nice place to hang out and relax between shifts. And there’s a park just outside with picnic tables, and a walkway, to encourage them to stretch their legs. I wanted them to feel like this is more than some old workplace.”

  “I’d like to work here myself! What can I order?”

  “Anything on the menu.” He pointed to a chalkboard above the counter.

  “Um, a chocolate milkshake, and some French fries, maybe. I don’t want too much after that big breakfast!”

  “Well, you don’t have to worry about your panties getting too tight if you eat too much,” he goaded.

  She threw him a dark look. “I wish I hadn’t done this, Taury. I feel so wicked.”

  “That was the point of it.”

  They ordered their meals from a jolly bald guy with hairy arms and twinkling black eyes by the name of Joe. Then Taury led her to a table in a private corner, nodding and greeting other employees along the way.

  Taury munched on his Big Bad Burger, holding it steady with one hand. He slid his unbound fingers under the table and rested them provocatively between Fawn’s thighs.

  She gasped, almost choked on her fries.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Do you have to ask?”

  “What if someone sees?”

  “We’re sheltered here. Do you want me to get you going now?”

  His voice was inciting her as much as his fingers.

  “You already have, but Taury, I’m not into this. I guess I’m not as adventurous as you’d like me to be.”

  “I want you to be who you are. I just thought a little adventure might be fun. Maybe you just need a different kind of adventure. Let’s get through eating. Then I want to show you my office.”

  She noticed a mischievous gleam in his blue eyes, wondered what he was planning.

  TWELVE

  Taury’s office was way up on the top of the factory, in a penthouse kind of space that had killer views of the sea. Fawn could see Alcatraz sitting like a black shadow upon the brilliantly azure waters of the Bay. And the Golden Gate Bridge was near enough to tell what color the cars were as they whizzed by.

  “How do you get any work done up here? I’d be staring at the ocean all day!”

  “It isn’t easy.”

  She heard the heavy mahogany door open behind her.

  “Fawn, I’d like you to meet Harper Trigg, my secretary. Harper, this is Fawn Hamilton, my fiancée.”

  Fawn turned around, felt a blast of Arctic air blow in through the door. A tall, stunning redhead strode in; her all-business demeanor foiled by a low-cut teal-colored sweater and a tight, matching skirt. She handed Taury some folders, nodded slightly at Fawn.

  “Hi,” Fawn said quietly, a bit overwhelmed by the woman’s appearance.

  “Hello,” Harper responded in a curt, uninterested tone. “Mr. Ainsworth expects these back ASAP, Taury. He said your signature is needed on everything.”

  “I’ll look them over first; that Ainsworth is a wily old prick, always trying to slip something past me. He doesn’t quite see my point of view about work ethics and keeping our employees safe and happy.”

  “I highlighted a few things that I thought you’d be opposed to.”

  “Good! That’s my Harper, don’t know what I’d do without her!”

  Fawn pulled at her dress, noticed the woman’s stony green eyes glaring at her hips, as if she knew Fawn had nothing on underneath.

  “Will that be all, Taury?”

  “Yes, oh, and hold all calls, would you? We don’t want to be disturbed.”

  She looked Fawn up and down, raised and lowered her brows in a bold show of disapproval.

  “Of course. Nice to meet you, Ms. Hamilton.”

  “Same here,” Fawn lied.

  The woman strode out just as arrogantly as she had entered.

  “You certainly have some uppity women in your life.”

  “Jealous?”

  “Do I have a reason to be?”

  “Nope. Strictly business; Harper doesn’t go for guys, anyway.”

  “Taury, sometimes you are downright naïve.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She has it bad for you. I could see that plainly enough.”

  “Harper?”

  “Yes, Harper. If looks could kill I’d be lying on the floor in shreds!”

  “Oh, I don’t believe it. You’re imagining things.”

  “Would it change your feelings if you knew it was true?”

  She suddenly felt vulnerable and unsure.

  He swept her into his arms, raised her dress and playfully smacked her bare bottom.

  “No, it would not! All I’ve been thinking about since we left the apartment is how soon I could get my hands and other body parts onto your naked behind! Let me lock that door and I’ll prove to you just how unchangeable my feelings for you are!”

  He let her go, hurried to the outer, waiting room door and bolted it shut then did the same for the inner door.

  “I have to admit I had an ulterior motive in bringing you here.”

  “Sounds interesting,” she giggled. “What is it?”

  “I want to have a candy orgy.” />
  Fawn laughed out loud. “A candy orgy? And how do we do that? Wait,” she stopped, worried, “you don’t mean with lots of people, like in swingers’ clubs or Ancient Rome?”

  “Hell, no! I’d never get that kinky. I have some new candy samples, and I thought we could try them out, on each other.”

  She started to shiver all over at the suggestion.

  Taury opened a drawer in a cabinet by the window; brought out some cute little bottles.

  “These are our newest items – we call them Candy Quickies. They’re like those energy drinks only they’re made of good, wholesome stuff, and they taste great! No caffeine, or weird toxins. Want to try one?”

  “I guess so.” Fawn was a bit let down, didn’t understand his implications.

  Taury closed the blinds on all the windows then began to strip out of his gray suit. He motioned for Fawn to join him at the long beige sofa under the window sill. After she did he grabbed the hem of her dress and yanked it up and off of her.

  “Lie down,” he whispered.

  Once she was flat on her back, he opened a bottle of Strawberry Fascination and let the cool syrupy candy flow over her breasts. Then he massaged it slowly onto her skin, stirring her senses with his gentle but determined touch and the sweet smell of the strawberries. He knelt down, moved his lips over her breasts, lapping up the candy and biting at her nipples, working her up into a delicious frenzy.

  He poured more candy between her thighs, letting it stream down into her fleshy pink recesses, then he licked it back out with a tortuously slow and deepening motion that had her muffling her screams.

  “They’ll hear me, Taury.”

  “No, they won’t! This place is more sound-proof than a tomb! Let it all out! I want to hear you break glass!”

  She laughed and wiggled and screamed and cried as he brought her to a tumultuous climax. Of course, one was never enough but she wanted her turn on him.

  “Let me up,” she pleaded.

  He acquiesced and she pushed him down on the sofa. After examining the other bottles she chose Chocolate Insanity, and opened it. Taury could barely contain his anticipation as Fawn let the dark liquid melt all over him. Then she rubbed it in like a healing potion and watched with bated breath as he grew thicker and harder in her hands.