Fragged: A BWWM Military Romance

by Paige Notaro

  “I can make him think I’m a monster,” I said.

  “How?”

  “He knows who I used to ride with right?”

  “He read your entire file.”

  “Then that’s who’s going to be coming after him.”

  She paused. “You’re not still with them though.”

  The archway to the armory loomed below me, dark and full of the secrets I had built. I was tired of them though. Tired of serving the lies I no longer believed.

  “I’m not remotely with them anymore,” I said. “But he doesn’t have to know. Besides, it’s like you said. It’s not so easy to change who I am deep down. I remember all the ways to incite fear.”

  “Calix, I never said that.”

  “It’s fine. I’ll take care of this. Do you know his address?”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Give me his address.”

  She read off a place downtown. I wondered how she knew the information, then I shook the thought aside. If she had been with him, she wouldn’t have called me.

  “Thank you, Calix,” she said. “But be careful with him. His family is very rich.”

  “Mine isn’t. Which means he has everything to lose and I have nothing.”

  “You have-”

  She cut off. I waited for her to add the word I wanted to hear. But she didn’t say it.

  “I’ll let you know in a bit,” I said and hung up.

  So she hadn’t said this would fix us. It was better than a lie, at least. I wasn’t doing this for that anyway. I’d be little better than the doctor if I expected her as a prize.

  I checked my watch. It was only nine in the morning, but I had little time to waste. I had to stake out the building to catch Sygard alone. I started to hustle to my bunk, when I remembered what I’d come here to do.

  I clipped down the steps and swiped in to the armory. Raynor was waiting for me at the counter. He leaned in as I approached, wiping his sweaty palms on the metal bench.

  I walked right up to his eager face and said, “Plan’s off.”

  “What?” he nearly squealed.

  “Something came up.”

  “What?”

  I looked at his eager face. In truth, he was ready to handle the rest of this. There was nothing for me to do but run interference if there were any issues. Raynor would easily accept the risk of doing it alone though.

  But I didn’t see a reason to place him to risk. In fact, I didn’t want a thing to do with any of it. I went around to his computer, logged in and silently fixed the original shipment numbers with a few key strokes. It couldn’t undo everything, but the discrepancy would look like a computer glitch and not malicious.

  I logged out and stared down Raynor.

  “I gave you an order, private,” I said. “Fall in line.”

  “Ok, alright.” He plopped back into his chair with a relieved sigh. “I guess I’ll just chill then.”

  “Do that.” I turned and headed off. “Do that and think on why being white even matters.”

  “What?” he called out, right before the metal armory door shut behind me.

  I could not save him from his beliefs. That was his own path. All I could do was make him confront the question.

  Dennis ran up to me as I hustled back to my bunk, but I waved him away. He was only here to tell me that I was already late for my lessons. Now, I would have to miss them.

  It would be viewed as a dereliction of duty. It could be taken as seriously as if I’d run from combat. I would be severely penalized.

  It didn’t matter.

  I was not going to shirk my duty to Rosa, and I would not ask anyone here to cover for me. I had lied to enough good people. The only people who deserved that anymore were scum like Sygard.

  I changed into civilian clothes, then reached deep into my cloth cabinet and pulled out a plastic bag. It held something I hadn’t worn in some time, not even the day I was shot. Well, everyone seemed to think I belonged in this anyway.

  I left the base and went out to my bike, before I pulled the cloth out. It smelled like oil and leather and gasoline. On the front, the bright white stitching read ‘Storm’s Soldiers.’ The back held a giant white grim reaper.

  There were no symbols on it, no words to tell people what the club really stood for. Maybe we had been ashamed from the beginning.

  I slung it on and let the plastic bag flutter off with the hot breeze. I tore off towards Atlanta.

  My mind sharpened around my mission as the wind roared past my open face. The engine rumbled through me, bringing me to life.

  All I wanted to do was ram my bike into Sygard. The man deserved nothing less. It shouldn’t do any damage to him. He had no spine, after all.

  But while I didn’t fear for my fate, I didn’t want to bring Rosa bigger problems. I would have to make him go away of his own choosing.

  I would become the avatar of hate. I would show him the depths of my darkness. I would act out the role I now detested like it flowed in my blood.

  Like it had, once.

  Before Vaughn. Before the US Army. Before Dennis.

  Before Rosa.

  Sygard’s apartment was in a gleaming high-rise close to Centennial Park. Other towers rose nearby but his was above them all. His apartment looked to be the penthouse. At the ground levels, the stores were all modern vanities. Pet grooming, gourmet coffee, cupcakes.

  I parked a couple blocks away and sat with a coffee at one of the outdoor patios. The other customers kept far away. The ones nearby slowly inched their metal tables away. I’d enjoyed the effect once, even pitied them for it. I had imagined myself to be a secret warrior for their cause.

  Now that I had fought for them in reality - worn the US flag on my breast and picked up arms against an enemy that wasn’t imaginary - I saw my foolishness plainly. My life had been a self-imposed exile with no purpose.

  I waited an hour and saw very few people come in or out the front doors of Sygard’s apartment. But I also saw several expensive cars come out of a side alley.

  I called Rosa. She answered immediately, but didn’t say anything.

  “What car does he drive?” I asked.

  “Oh. An orange one. A, uh, Lamborghini? Ferrari? One of those. Why?”

  “Don’t worry.”

  I hung up, dropped the rest of my coffee in the trash and crossed into the alley. There was room enough for one way only. The street dead ended in a concrete wall, but before that a metal mesh door on the right showed a garage full of cars.

  I did a quick risk evaluation. The interior would be heavily monitored in a place like this. Even if I was dressed like a bellhop and not a biker, I wouldn’t be able to linger long without being approached.

  But this alley was not part of their domain. I saw no cameras, no mirrors even. It was recessed from the street until the very end. It was the best place to confront him unnoticed.

  I went back near the street and sat just past the corner, thumbing through my phone like everyone else in the damn city. Now and then the door would dislodge a car. I checked and went back to looking busy.

  It was a strange meditation, but army life had prepared me for it. Hours could pass before a mission would come through. Just a few seconds of action against a canyon of boredom. This wait, however, was strictly against army regulations. The longer I spent here, the worse my situation when I returned.

  I hardly noticed. This mattered. It could not be rushed.

  After an hour and twenty four minutes, my moment came. The garage door creaked open and an angular orange hood pressed through. The car that came out was ultra-modern, all smooth slopes and sharp cuts. It crawled up the alley, though.

  All that power didn’t matter without the right foot on the gas. I kept an eye on the driver window and saw a long, confused face squinting out at me.

  Yeah, I remembered him. I stepped out in front of the car. He squealed to a stop.

  “Come out, Sygard,” I said, kicking up as much drawl as I could. �
��I want to talk.”

  The passenger door did not budge. The good doctor was thumbing his phone behind the window’s glare. Calling the cops perhaps? They could be here fast, but not fast enough.

  Still, I need him to communicate.

  I slammed the heel of my palm into the hood. There was barely an abrasion. The car was built well. But Sygard jumped out of the car.

  “Hey, hey!” he said. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Good afternoon to you too, doctor.”

  Sygard stood huffing behind his passenger door. He had on an orange polo that matched his ride and sleek blue pants. He looked pissed, but more as a cover for his fear.

  “What do you want?” he said.

  “Simply a chat. Why are you hiding there? I’m not going to hurt you in front of your own house.”

  “Someone’s going to come out behind me,” he said. “I’m going to have to move my car.”

  “When that happens, you can move it.” I beckoned. “Come.”

  I had expected him to put up more resistance, but he came over.

  “You here to make some deal?” he said.

  “Nothing in particular. I’m just here to renegotiate terms for the arrangement.”

  He snorted. “Oh perfect. Are you her pimp, now?”

  Red flashed through my vision. My hand was rising for his throat before I made it drop. “No,” I said. “She has the right to decide who she wants to sleep with. That’s a right you’re infringing on.”

  “I’m doing no such thing. I gave her a choice. She simply has to own up to her crime.”

  “She committed no crime. I stole the bullet. I took the key card from her.”

  “Ok, even then, she lied for you.”

  “She didn’t do anything for me.”

  He rolled his eyes. “She lied and that lie kept you safe. I’ll let the hospital decide how they want to interpret her involvement.”

  “We will do no such thing,” I said. “Drop the damn matter. You’re not interested in justice and I just want the incident forgotten.”

  “What was the incident?”

  “I got shot.” There was no way he could know more than that. “That’s exactly what happened.”

  “Oh, but it matters why you got shot, doesn’t it?” He smiled horribly. “In fact, once this gets out the heat’s going to be even more on you. I bet that’s why you’re here.”

  “It may or it may not. Like I said. I did nothing but field a bullet. I’m only here to protect Rosa.”

  “Protect her from the damage you caused?”

  I shrugged. “I won’t deny my part in that. But the only one threatening her now is you.”

  “Just let it go.” Lem ran a hand along the elegant side of his hood. “She’s not going to risk her job. She’ll do what I ask and you’ll be safe.”

  I eyed the car. The hood was impregnable. But there were other parts where I could make a point.

  I sent a vicious knee into the right headlight. It shattered.

  “What the fuck!” Lem said, crouching next to it.

  “Huh,” I said. “You care about that car?”

  “Fuck yes, I care about it.” He looked up with glowing eyes. “You piece of shit-“

  “Most people in this world,” I said. “They reserve that level of care for people. Not objects. And not just their own narrow desires.”

  I thought of how my mother’s death had ravaged my father. I remembered the wetness in Rosa’s eyes as she talked about her own father.

  “People go mad when something happens to people they care about.” I set my knee right at his nose. “Just imagine the lengths they’ll go to prevent a thing from happening in the first place.”

  The rage left his eyes, as they grew wide. “You can’t threaten me. I figured she might pull something like this. I already set the file to auto release if I didn’t stop it tonight.”

  “I’m not going to hurt you now, Lem. She made me promise not to do that.” I crouched down next to him. “But I’m going to make you a different promise.”

  “What?”

  “Leave Atlanta or die.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  I patted my chest. “You see this cut? You know what it means.”

  He eyed it. “You’re in a biker club.”

  “Tell me what it means.”

  “You’re a Storm’s Soldier.”

  “I’m one of the Storm’s Soldiers. You might be able to get me in trouble. I don’t know. But there will be dozens of others around to get revenge. And they will find you. They will find you in some dark, quiet place, and you will never leave. I promise you that.”

  He started breathing hard. I hadn’t expected to enjoy this, but seeing him quake was kind of fun.

  But then, he started laughing.

  “Oh you son of a bitch,” he said. “I fucking got you.”

  I checked my back, but there was no one put pedestrians far away. I heard no sirens, no signs of security.

  He pulled the phone out of his polo pocket. On it, the screen said transmitting over an icon like a microphone.

  The breath left my lungs.

  “I had nothing,” Sygard said. “The security tape didn’t have a clear shot of Rosa. The hospital already saw it. I was just bluffing her cause I knew she was hiding something. But now? Now I have you on tape stealing the bullet, hanging with gangs, making threats. Everything.”

  All of it was circumspect. In a crime with no real victims, it wouldn’t hold up in any court except for the threat.

  But it was plenty of a violation from the UCMJ. Montego would have enough to lock me up. I would never wear a uniform again.

  “So, Mr. Black?” Lem said with a toothy grin. “Do you like being a Storm’s Soldier? Cause that’s all you’ll have left. Threatening a civilian? Continued involvement in an outlaw biker gang? I’ll make sure the army has you out on a rope. Or, you can back off and forget all this.”

  I stared silently at his pungent face. I didn’t trust it, but he wouldn’t risk his life to reveal me unless I forced his hand.

  I had joined the army to protect my club. But I had found more joy in protecting the innocent. I had been ready to take a bullet in service of that goal.

  This couldn’t even compare. In fact, shouldering my crime took Rosa off the hook for good.

  I shrugged. “You can release it if you want, but you’ll still be die.”

  His smile cracked on his lips. “What?”

  “I didn’t make an idle threat, boy. You were going to what? Use this now to blackmail me? To have me back off and let you do your thing with Rosa? No. I came for her alone. You have nothing that matters to me or her anymore.”

  “If you tell her the truth, I will release this tape.”

  I stood. “I’ll pay the price for my crimes. For yours, someone will find you and kill you. My offer remains. Leave the hospital. Leave the city. The sooner, the better your chances.”

  He tried to stare me down, unblinking, but his eyes were far too wide open. I had nothing else to say to him, so I turned and left.

  The street greeted me with life. A mom walked past, rolling a gargling baby. I smiled at it, feeling my heart float. Sygard could be a fine cardiologist at times, if accidentally.

  I called Rosa.

  “Is everything ok?” she asked.

  “Everything’s perfect,” I said. “He has no evidence. He never did.”

  “Oh god.” She whooshed with relief. “Calix, thank you. Thank you so much.”

  “It was nothing.” I smiled just hearing the freedom on her lips. “He gave the information quite easily.”

  “Really?” she said. “He didn’t ask for anything?”

  I thought of Dennis, of Homer. Of teaching recruits, of recruiting Raynor. Of my time overseas, of the times stealing weapons for my father.

  All of it might be gone soon. But this voice at the other end of the line flowed through free and clear as spun silk.

  What els
e mattered?

  “Nothing I hadn’t already lost,” I said. “Take care of yourself, Rosa.”

  I hung up and headed back to face my reward.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Rosa

  I came into work Monday, expecting the worst. I didn’t even know why. Lem had nothing. That’s all that should have mattered.

  But I needed to see that Calix was ok. I needed to know what had happened. I felt like I’d failed him in some way by having him save me.

  I’d tried calling him twice again yesterday, but it had gone to voicemail both times. First I’d been annoyed - now I was just a ball of worry.

  I went up to the second floor by the long route, specifically to avoid Lem’s office. When I got to the nurse’s station, I checked the rounds board to see what his schedule might be. His name was nowhere to be seen though.

  My palms went damp. What had Calix done for me?

  I sat jittery at the nurse’s station until I saw Lilly coming back from her rounds. I waved frantically, and she rushed around the ovular booth.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked, leaning over.

  “I don’t know,” I said, twirling my thumbs viciously. I’d wanted to play this more discreetly, but my nerves were frayed and the lack of sleep last night wasn’t helping.

  She cupped my hands. “Hey, it’s fine, just calm down and tell me.”

  “Is Lem not here?”

  She tilted her head like an owl. “I thought you guys went out. Did he not tell you?”

  My head cleared a tiny bit. Lem had to be alive to tell people anything.

  “Tell me what?” I said.

  “Really? It didn’t come up on the date?”

  “Lilly!”

  “Ok, fine. He resigned his position. He said he’s moving back to New York to be closer with family for some emergency or other.”

  “What? Are you sure?”

  “I mean, he didn’t tell me, but the doctor that’s covering for him was plenty pissed enough to share.”

  Another heap of worry sloughed off. There was still plenty of room for doubt though. “Did he mention a reason?” I asked. “Wait, are we sure it was him? Maybe he’s in trouble.”

  Lilly frowned. “What exactly happened on your date?”

  “Nothing, it just didn’t go well.”