First Comes Marriage

by Sophia Sasson

  “Actually, I won’t... I was going to...”

  “Oh, please, Dr. M., I can’t do this without you. I need at least one friendly face and someone to pull me out if they all turn on me. You know what this town is like. Please—I need you there.”

  Meera stared at her tear-streaked face. She could skip the trip to New York City, cancel her appointment...but her mother would go ballistic. It was one of the reasons her mother had finally relented and allowed Meera to come to the States before the wedding. So, she could cancel and face her mother’s wrath...

  ...Or she could go to New York with Jake as he’d suggested. Her heart hummed at the thought. She had three more weeks of freedom; she should take full advantage of it, explore the feelings she was having for Jake and figure out what it was about him that made her throw away reason and logic. If she didn’t, would she wonder about him when she was married to Raj? Maybe she owed it to all of them to get Jake out of her system.

  “Please, Dr. M.”

  She turned her attention back to Lily. No one had ever counted on her like this. Wasn’t this why she had become a doctor in the first place? To help those who were alone, who needed a helping hand? She finally had a chance to make a real difference. How could she abandon Lily now?

  Meera nodded and squeezed her hand. “I’ll be there.” I better make sure I can keep my word.

  She spent the next several minutes asking Lily about her health and doing a quick exam to make sure she and the baby were doing well. After extracting a promise that Lily would come to the clinic to get another ultrasound, Meera left.

  She couldn’t get Lily off her mind as she drove to the clinic. How could she believe so vehemently in Joe? All signs indicated that the boy had taken advantage of her. And yet Lily truly believed they were in love. How could she know that? How could she be connected to someone at such an emotional level? Meera shook her head. It didn’t make sense.

  She thought about the reasons she wanted to marry Raj. He was her best friend, her stabilizer, the calm waters that kept her boat steady. He shared her values and understood how important her parents were to her. She always felt normal with Raj, completely calm and in control. And utterly bored. The realization surprised her. Jake was anything but ordinary; she enjoyed talking to him, even disagreeing with him. He fired her up. Maybe that’s what her time in Hell’s Bells was about—to get the restlessness out of her system so she could go back to London content and live the life she wanted...the life she’d planned.

  What was that American saying? I need to blow off some steam.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “OH, NO NO NO, you’re not talking me into that.” Meera stepped backward, straight into Jake. He automatically reached out and grabbed her shoulders. She was standing so close that her hair touched his chest, and if he wanted, he could rest his chin on her head. He caught a whiff of her hair; she’d left it loose around her shoulders. It smelled of lavender and vanilla and something intoxicating, just like her.

  The sunny day had the town square bustling with excitement over the Bull Blazin’ Festival. The smell of fresh-popped corn and sugary cotton candy sweetened the air.

  Meera tensed as she came into contact with him. He kept his hands loosely around her arms, putting just enough pressure to let her know he wanted her there. She shifted on her feet. He longed to reach up and run his fingers through her hair, to pull her against him and fold her into his arms. Better take it easy, Jake. She’s not ready.

  Jake bent his head to talk in her ear so she could hear him over the noise. “Come on, now, I know you can do it. We can go together.” He kept his tone light and airy, willing her to let her guard down. He felt her relax just a fraction and his heart pulsed with excitement. Then he felt goose bumps on her arms and grinned. You feel it, too.

  “I just can’t!” Suddenly, she turned to face him, her big brown eyes sparkling. He looked at the mechanical bull behind her.

  “Okay, why don’t we work on gettin’ you some liquid courage.” He took her hand and led her through the rapidly growing crowd. She resisted, but he held on firmly. Her hand felt small and delicate in his, like it always did. He twined her fingers with his and it felt familiar, as if they’d been doing it forever.

  Jake couldn’t stop thinking about Meera lately. When he closed his eyes, he saw her standing in the sunshine and smiling at him, shoveling dirt, sitting in his kitchen drinking tea, rolling her eyes at a comment he’d made. And he was always on the lookout for her, even when she wasn’t at the ranch.

  This was not how it had been with Jolene. There was something going on here that he couldn’t explain. And, whatever it was, he had to figure it out and get it out of his system. Meera’s questions about why he raised cattle were thinly veiled. She would never accept him the way he was. Maybe she had more in common with Jolene than he realized. The sooner he got over whatever was between them, the better it would be for him. He couldn’t go around...what had Kelly said? Googly-eyed. And there was no better way to do that than convince her to go to New York with him. Two days alone, without the distraction of prying eyes, was just what they needed to get whatever...this...was out of their systems.

  He rolled his shoulders, easing the tension out of them. It had been a hard week on the ranch, cleaning the field in addition to the regular chores. Meera had done more than her fair share, spending every minute of her spare time helping out. He marveled at her stamina, fueled by sheer determination. Even Kelly grudgingly admired Meera’s efforts. Everything was taken care of, and he had put Kelly in charge of doing the weekend chores so he could go to New York. The letter from his mother was in his pocket. He’d put it off long enough.

  He just had to convince Meera to come with him; she was insisting on driving herself.

  They reached the drinks tent, and Mrs. Hayes greeted Jake. “Oh, now, it’s been a while since I’ve seen a smile that big on your face.”

  Jake grinned even wider. He had known Mrs. Hayes all his life; she ranched the land next to him and was as close to a mother to him as anyone could be. He hadn’t seen her much since Jolene left.

  She looked at Meera. “And you must be the new doctor that’s got this town all in a tizzy.”

  He turned to see Meera give her a wary smile, and he squeezed her hand.

  “You can thank Mrs. Hayes for taking in my cattle.” He reassured her with his eyes, and she smiled at the older woman with more genuine warmth.

  “Don’t worry, dear, I know the town’s been hard on you. But if you’re what put that smile back on this boy’s face, well...” She handed them each a red plastic cup. “The drinks are on me.” Meera thanked her and began to move away.

  Mrs. Hayes grabbed Jake’s arm. “Son, that look you got in your eye right now... I haven’t seen that since you were a little boy of twelve and ate the entire pie I had cooling on the window. Since before your momma left.” Jake choked on his drink. Mrs. Hayes hadn’t mentioned his mother in years. He saw Meera watching them from a little ways off, but it was noisy and he was pretty sure she couldn’t hear what Mrs. Hayes was saying. “I mean it. Jolene’s my baby girl, but I know she never put that gleam in your eye.”

  Jake picked up a water cup and took a long swig. She was still clutching his arm and now fixed him with a motherly look. He gulped. “Mrs. Hayes, I loved Jolene—you know that.”

  She shook her head at him. “You and Jolene... I told that girl it was all wrong. I told you the same thing, but you’re both too stubborn. Take it from me, son, when it’s the real thing, you know it.” Mrs. Hayes let him go. “I’ll pray you come to your senses,” she said loudly. She smiled warmly at Meera. “And you, too, darlin’ girl. Now both of you go have a good time.”

  Jake waved at Mrs. Hayes and bumped his red cup against Meera’s.

  “Bottoms up, Meera.”

  She looked at him. “What is this, anywa
y?”

  “Moonshine—it’s homemade liquor and no one does it better than Mrs. Hayes.” Meera smiled and took a small sip.

  “Sounds like you’ve known her a long time.” She tilted her head toward Mrs. Hayes.

  Jake nodded. “She lives on the ranch next door. We’re like family. She looked after me when my—” He stopped. Meera’s eyes bored into his, their brown warmth reaching into him. She held his hand and stepped closer to him. The smell of the raspberry drink mingled with the heady scent of her lavender and vanilla. She smiled encouragingly. “—when my mother left us.” There! He had said it out loud and the world hadn’t come to an end.

  “What happened?”

  He took a sip, swallowing slowly. He wanted to tell her, to have Meera understand this part of him. “She just packed up and left one day, didn’t tell anyone. Left a note saying she couldn’t take it anymore. Things were never the same after that—I don’t think my dad ever recovered from that betrayal. He just kept going downhill.”

  Meera inched over to him and rested her head on his chest. She broke her hand free of his and placed it next to her cheek.

  He put his arm around her shoulder, holding her tight, and she burrowed into his chest. His breaths slowed as his heart lightened. The entire town knew what happened with his mother—he never had to discuss it—and his own words surprised him. He had never connected his mother’s departure all those years ago to what ultimately happened to his father. At least not out loud.

  “Well, isn’t this cozy.”

  Jake felt Meera stiffen, and she pulled back immediately. He winced at Gloria’s high-pitched voice.

  “It is cozy, Gloria. Meera and I are good friends.” He narrowed his eyes at her. He found Meera’s hand and tugged her toward him.

  “Hmm, her fiancé must be missing her, don’t you think?”

  Jake glared at Gloria. Meera extracted her hand from his.

  “That is none of my business, just like what I do is none of your business.” He found Meera’s hand again. He needed to get away, go someplace where he could have her to himself. Gloria was saying something, but he didn’t care; all he could think about was that he needed to be close to Meera, to be alone with her, before she retreated again.

  He pulled Meera away from Gloria and led her back to the mechanical bull.

  “Let’s do this!”

  She shook her head. “No, there’s no way. I can’t...”

  He fixed her with a look. “You can’t, but we can.”

  “You’ll ride with me?”

  He nodded. A few people cheered as they stepped into the ring. An attendant helped her mount, then Jake swung his leg and settled in behind her. Townspeople were gravitating toward the ring, eager to see them on the bull. The midday sun was shining down on them, and his head felt hot underneath the cowboy hat. There were catcalls and shouts of encouragement. It should’ve made him run. Normally, he would be desperate to find a place to hide, somewhere far from prying eyes. Ever since Jolene left, he’d avoided the sympathetic expressions of the busybodies in town. The same pitying looks they’d given him when his mother left. But now, he didn’t care—he wanted them to see him. To see that he was okay. That he was happy.

  He snaked an arm around Meera and she grabbed the bull’s grip. He placed his hand on top of hers. Suddenly, nothing mattered—all that existed was Meera and the beautiful, sunshiny day.

  Her soft hair tickled his nose as he bent to whisper in her ear. “Ready?”

  He felt her shiver. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  A cheer went up from the crowd as the bull started. Meera screamed as it bucked underneath them. Jake felt her shift on the seat, and he tightened his hold on her hand, gripping her firmly at the waist to steady her.

  She shrieked in delight as they both jerked with the bull. The crowd roared. Suddenly, he felt the seat drop below them as the bull lurched forward, suspending them in midair. Meera screamed as they both slammed back onto their seats, slightly unbalanced. He was sure they were about to fall over, but he somehow managed to pull her back into the right position. He had ridden this bull a thousand times, but riding it with Meera was something else.

  His body was now molded against hers, and they rolled and moved in unison as the bull bucked. She was laughing so hard her head flopped sideways and she lost her balance. He reached out, desperate to save her, and found himself falling to the ground. They landed on soft rubber, Meera first, and he braced his arms so he wouldn’t crush her. The crowd went wild, cheering, whistling and screaming louder than ever. He was right on top of her, so he used his arm to prop himself up. He looked into her glittering eyes. He didn’t know if it was the moonshine, the adrenaline from the bull ride or just... Meera, but his heart was galloping like a prize-winning race horse. This girl is going to be the end of me.

  “Kiss! Kiss!” the crowd chanted giddily. Meera’s lips were slightly parted. Tempting. But this was not how he wanted to do it.

  He stood and held out his hand. Disappointment crossed her face, but she let him help her up. He picked up his hat and put it back on his head.

  They stepped out of the ring and someone handed her a straw cowboy hat. Jake placed it on her head.

  “It’s official now—once you’ve fallen off the bull, you’ve earned entry into this town.” The crowd was closing in on them, people wanting to chat with him, to meet the doctor everyone was talking about. He needed to get them out of here.

  “Jake, wait...where are we going?”

  Jake didn’t answer. He kept walking, pulling her with him. They crossed the town square, and he took her down a path that cut through the park. She protested, but he kept going. He was ablaze with an intensity he couldn’t explain. The only thing he could think about, the only thing he craved, was to hold her, and to do it away from the nosy townsfolk. He needed to be with Meera—just her. He wanted to tell her what he was feeling; he had to hear her say she felt the same way. Whatever had been set aflame inside him was her doing.

  He took her down the stone path to the stream and stopped when they got to the bubbling water’s edge.

  Her eyes were wide, her breath coming quickly. Her hair was wild and loose; wisps stuck to her cheeks. A rosy tint crept up her neck to her cheeks and ears. Their eyes connected. There were a million things Jake wanted to say, to blurt out, to ask her, to tell her. Her eyes were wide with wonder and anticipation. His heart drummed in his ears. She took a small step toward him.

  Here goes nothing. He closed the distance between them and put a hand on the back of her head, pulling her close. He had imagined what it would be like to kiss her, to feel her, to be connected to her. He planned to do it sweetly, lightly; he didn’t want to scare her away.

  As his lips touched hers, an unknown force took hold. She responded with an urgency that took his breath away. She tasted of raspberry moonshine and a buttery sweetness that could only be...Meera. He was coupled to her soul, and he felt her reach in and touch his heart.

  * * *

  THE NEED FOR air brought Meera back to her senses. She broke the kiss and stepped back, gasping. What had she done? How could she let Jake kiss her? And why had she kissed him back? She knew this was wrong. Then why does it feel so right? That kiss was like nothing she had ever known.

  She’d never kissed anyone other than Raj, and when they did, it was always pleasant. This was something else. She stared at Jake. For a moment, it felt as if their souls were entwined.

  She stepped back and turned around, desperate to break eye contact with him. This couldn’t be happening; not to her. It must be the moonshine or something else. There was no rational explanation for the way she felt right now, no words to describe it. Nothing in her plans accounted for this strange sensation overtaking her. She was leaving in a few weeks. Surely, this was nothing more than a summer flirtation?

 
And what would she tell Raj? Or her parents? How could she do this to him? She clutched her stomach. She had betrayed Raj in a horrible, selfish way, and she had no excuse for why she’d done it. Or why it felt so good. Jake was totally wrong for her.

  He put his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her around. His eyes were a sparkling green, mirroring the confusion, exhilaration and pure joy she felt.

  “I don’t know what this is, either, Meera. It’s not just you.”

  She took a sharp breath. “Jake, I can’t believe I just did that.”

  She collapsed against him, and he held her tight. She felt warmth and comfort flow into her, and it quieted the tempest in her heart.

  She looked up at Jake, his green eyes wild and wide. Her parents would never approve of Jake, even if Raj wasn’t in the picture. He was not the type of man they had set her up to marry. But part of doing this trip before the wedding was about feeding the wild side of her soul so she could return home grounded. Even Raj had encouraged her to explore, to be free from her usual rigidness. If I stomp on my feelings right now, how is that fair to Raj, or to me? I’ll go back discontent and wondering what might have been. Maybe it’s time I let loose a little and think with my heart. I won’t let myself get carried away.

  She smiled at him. “I need some more liquid courage.”

  He laughed. “Yes, I don’t think we should be alone right now, either.” He led her back to the town square. This time when he took her hand, she didn’t resist.

  The festival was in full swing when they got back. People from several towns over had come to celebrate, and Jake seemed to know all of them. There was good-natured ribbing about his holding her hand, but he navigated through the crowd completely unconcerned.

  She should care; the Meera she knew would worry about how she looked right now, fret over what her parents would say if they found out. But for once in her life, she couldn’t bring herself to give in to her usual anxieties. Her heart had never felt lighter, and until this moment, she hadn’t realized what a heavy load she always carried.