His eyes turned to me briefly before returning to the road. “She has kids?”
“Two.” I nodded. “A boy, Max. He’s seven. And Emmie just turned four.”
“She not doing right by them?”
I looked out the window. “I hope she is.” Even as I said it I wasn’t sure I believed it.
“There a man in the picture?”
I shrugged, wishing I knew more about my sister. “Not the last time I was here.”
I craned my neck to check on Mason, relieved to discover he’d fallen asleep. I slumped back in my seat, eager to soak in a few much-needed moments to zone out. Cal seemed to sense I needed that so the rest of our drive passed in comfortable silence.
When we pulled into the trailer park, I sat up stiffly, watching with rapt attention as we wove our way toward Janelle’s last known address. No stranger to trailer parks, having lived in several before my parents had split and left us with Gran, I knew this wasn’t all that bad. There was some pride of ownership to be seen mixed in with a few dilapidated homes in desperate need of love. When we pulled up to what I hoped was still Janelle’s place, I was relieved to find the home in good condition.
“Mason really needs to sleep, do you mind waiting with him?” I asked Cal.
He studied the home in front of us, his expression tense. “Don’t like the idea of you walking in there alone.”
Not for the first time, I was baffled and touched in equal measure by how protective he was of me.
“I’ll be fine,” I assured him, opening the door. “I won’t be long.” I shut the door as quietly as I could behind me and made my way to the trailer.
My soft knock was met with the patter of feet. The door opened cautiously and a set of huge brown eyes peered up at me.
I kneeled down. “Max.” I grinned, relieved I’d found them.
The door swung open further. “Aunt Jilly!” he exclaimed. Despite not being close with my sister I’d done everything I could to stay in my niece and nephew’s lives. I wrapped him in an embrace, my gaze landing on Emmie, who sat watching television on the couch. “Hi, sweet girl.” I smiled at her as I held Max’s hand, stepping further into the small room. “Can I have a hug?” I asked, not wanting to assume.
After a moment she nodded once and stood up to wrap her thin arms around my neck.
Despite being from different fathers they shared many of the same characteristics, including dark hair and luminous dark eyes. Both kids had always been far too serious for my liking—as though the weight of the world rested on their shoulders. I longed to see the playful side I knew had to dwell just under the surface.
“Is your mom here?” I asked, looking around the small, dim space. The curtains were all pulled shut. It smelled a bit musty and like the garbage needed to be taken out, but was otherwise fairly well kept.
“She’s asleep,” Max replied.
At 1:00 p.m.?
I tried to hide my concern and nodded. “Okay, I’m going to go talk to her and then I was hoping maybe we could spend some time together.” I smiled.
They both nodded, watching with matching expressions of unease as I stepped down the short hall in search of my sister.
“Jan?” I whispered, peering into her dark bedroom.
“Hmm?” she mumbled. After a moment she stirred, sitting up and looking at me in sleepy confusion. “Jill?”
I nodded, stepping into the room and sitting on the edge of her bed.
“What are you doing here?”
Her question irritated me but I bit the feeling back, fighting for an even tone. “Did you know Gran died?”
She flopped back on the bed. “Yeah, the home called.”
With her dismissive tone, my patience began to unravel. “Why haven’t you called me back?” I demanded.
“I meant to.” She sighed. “I’ve been working nights and I’ve been so tired.”
That explained sleeping in the middle of the day. I felt a small measure of relief.
“You and the kids okay?” I asked.
She narrowed her eyes. “We’re fine.”
“I’m just asking, Jan.” I sighed. She was so quick to be defensive, as though I was attacking her with even the simplest question.
“Why don’t I take the kids out for a few hours? We’ll let you sleep?”
“Fine,” she muttered.
“Maybe we can talk when we get back?” I asked hopefully.
“Yeah, sure,” she replied noncommittally.
I fought back my disappointment at her dismissive tone. “I’m here with a friend from home,” I explained, surprised how easily the term home slipped from my lips with regard to Hawthorne. It was home. “We’ll grab the boosters out of your car.”
“Fine,” she repeated. “The car’s not locked.”
Clearly I wasn’t going to get much out of her; not now, maybe not later either. I gave up on further conversation and headed back out to the living room, where Max and Emmie sat zoned out in front of the TV.
How many hours did they spend like this?
“Come on, kiddos. Let’s get out of here for a few hours,” I said, clicking the TV off.
They looked up at me in surprise.
“Have you had lunch?” I asked.
“No,” Max replied, standing up and taking Emmie’s hand. He’d always been protective of her.
I smiled warmly at them. “Then that sounds like a good place to start. My friend Cal is in the car with Mason. He’s sleeping right now, but I’m sure he’ll be so excited to see you when he wakes up,” I told them as they followed me out into the sunshine.
They both squinted so dramatically that I wondered when they’d last been outside.
Cal stepped out of the car, his countenance as unintimidating as a man like him could manage. “Cal, this is Max and Emmie,” I introduced.
“Hey, bud.” Cal nodded toward Max. He kneeled down at eye level with them both. “Hi, darlin’.” He smiled at Emmie.
She smiled timidly back and my heart expanded almost to the point of pain in my chest.
“I thought we’d take these kids to lunch and then maybe to the park or something. Their mom’s sleeping. Is that okay?”
Cal shot me a concerned look but nodded. He helped me with the booster seats. Not once did he rub it in that without taking his SUV we wouldn’t have had enough room for all of us.
“Where to?” he asked as he fired up the engine.
I craned my neck to look back at Max. “What sounds good, Max?”
He contemplated my question seriously for a minute. Then looked at his sister. “Pizza, Em?” he asked.
Her eyes lit up with excitement. “Yeah, pizza!”
I laughed, unsurprised by their choice. “Pizza it is.”
I directed Cal to a pizza parlor I’d taken them to in the past. By the time we arrived, Mason had woken up. It had been a much shorter nap than he needed, but it would have to do.
Once the pizza arrived both kids dug in with an enthusiasm that concerned me. Cal shot me a look and I could tell he was thinking the same thing.
“Max, did you guys have breakfast this morning?” I asked gently.
He paused midbite and looked at me cautiously. “Yes,” he replied, but I couldn’t help but think he was lying.
“Max, bud. I just want to help,” I assured him.
“We ate,” he insisted.
Cal reached across the table and squeezed my hand briefly in a silent bid for me to drop the subject. He was right. It wouldn’t do any good to press Max. Not right now anyway. Instead I offered my nephew a smile, smoothing my hand over his thick head of dark hair.
I was amazed at how great Cal was with the kids. It had taken a little while for them to loosen up, but once we got to the park Cal pushed Emmie on the swings and played battle destroyer with Max. He was like a big kid. I’d never seen this side of him and I had to reluctantly admit that it made him all the more attractive. Honestly, I hadn’t thought it possible.
By the ti
me we arrived back at the trailer park, it was close to dinner time.
Cal’s eyes cut to me as he turned off the engine. “I’m coming in with you,” he stated.
“Yay, can we show you our room?” Max asked excitedly.
“Sure, bud,” Cal replied, his eyes still on me.
I wasn’t sure how Janelle would take it but I knew he wanted to check the situation out for himself. After a moment I nodded. There wouldn’t be any dissuading him, I could tell that much.
Janelle was sitting in the living room drinking a beer with an unfamiliar man when we walked in.
Her gaze immediately went to Cal, remaining there as she tracked his physique with unapologetic appreciation. Clearly she liked what she saw and wasn’t afraid to show it.
“Janelle, this is Cal,” I introduced. “Cal, my sister, Janelle.”
“Can we show you our room now?” Max pleaded.
“A minute, bud,” Cal replied, his eyes on the man who sat to Janelle’s left. “Who’s this?” he asked my sister as though he had every right in the world.
Cal had a way of owning any space he was in. This was no different.
Her gaze narrowed at his demand, the appreciation gone and replaced with anger. “My friend Bobby,” she snapped.
Cal turned his hard gaze to the man. “Do me a solid and give us some time here.” He ordered, though it was disguised as a request.
Bobby considered his options for only a moment before nodding once. “See you later, Janelle.”
Obviously he didn’t want any trouble.
When the door shut behind Bobby, Cal turned to me and reached for Mason. “I’ll go hang with the kids. Give you and your sister a chance to talk,” he told me, shocking me by kissing my temple briefly before following Max and Emmie down the short hallway.
It took me a moment to recover before I could address my sister. “Brought you some pizza.” I held up the box.
“Thanks,” she replied, her tone cool.
When she didn’t invite me to sit I made myself comfortable on the couch, outwardly at least. Inside, my nerves were a mess. “We had fun with the kids,” I began. “I’d love to see them again tomorrow if possible, after the funeral maybe?” I asked.
“Maybe.” She nodded.
“You’ll be there, right, Jan?” I asked, trying to conceal the hope in my tone. I shouldn’t have to ask but with the way things were I did.
“Yeah, we’ll be there,” she agreed, taking a sip of her beer.
“Are you angry with me about something?” I asked, hoping to clear the air of tension between us.
“No, why would I be?” she asked.
“Jan, I love you. You’d let me know if you needed anything right?” I pressed.
She made a sound of exasperation but relented with a nod.
I stood up, tired of her attitude. Not once had she asked about me. Not once had she made the slightest effort to bridge the gap between us. I was tired of trying to build it alone. “All right, well I’ll go say good night to the kids and I’ll see you tomorrow.” I huffed, unable to hide my frustration.
She merely took another sip of her beer in response.
I found Cal and the kids playing in Max and Emmie’s room. Emmie was sitting in his lap while Max showed him his toys as Mason toddled around the room. I scooped him up and smiled down at them.
“Aw, do you have to go?” Max whined, sensing what I was about to say. The kid was too smart for his own good. Always had been.
“We do. But we’ll see you tomorrow, ok?” I asked.
“For Gran’s funeral?” he asked with wide, serious eyes.
“Yeah, honey,” I replied somberly.
Neither of the kids had seen much of Gran in recent years, other than when I visited and took them to her, but I knew they still felt her loss. Gran had a way of leaving a mark on you in a way you didn’t forget.
“Will you be there?” Emmie asked Cal.
Cal’s eyes found mine. “I’ll be there,” he confirmed.
My heart thudded in response as relief and apprehension swept over me in equal measure.
I wasn’t sure what he expected or what he was after. Whatever it was, I doubted I could be the one to give it to him.
Chapter 4
“I don’t feel right about that situation, Jill,” Cal practically growled at me later that night. I’d put Mason down and stepped outside into the motel hall. He’d reserved the room next to ours.
“Well I don’t feel great about it either,” I retorted. I was exhausted and feeling especially defensive about my niece and nephew. Truth be told, I wanted nothing more than to wrap them up in my arms and take them back to Hawthorne with me. “Janelle’s doing better than she has in the past. At least, it looks that way. I don’t have any reason to take some sort of legal action.”
“You’ve thought about it though,” he surmised as he leaned against the railing behind him, the picture of masculine grace.
I’d never thought a man like Cal could be graceful, but his movements were nearly feline at times.
“I’ve thought about it,” I admitted. “Right now I have to hope they’re okay. I’ll stay in touch with them as much as possible. Plus, I have my own shit to work through before I could be any good to them,” I added before I could stop myself.
His brows rose. I rarely gave away much about my past. “Oh yeah?”
My gaze shifted to the side. “Yeah. I need to get to bed,” I said before he could press for more. “Thank you for your help today. You didn’t have to and I certainly didn’t expect you…. But just… thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” he replied, his voice deep and sure as he assessed me. “Someday you’ll learn—I’d do just about anything for you.”
Holy hell.
All I could do was gape wordlessly at him.
“You don’t know what to do with that, do you?” he surmised with a gorgeous twinkle in his eye.
I shook my head.
He stepped closer, his scent washing over me, something fresh and clean underlined with what I knew instinctively was all Cal. “Good thing I’m older and wiser, baby,” he murmured, a hint of humor lightening his tone. “Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Night,” I managed, turning on a heel and practically running into my room.
I knew if I stayed even a second more I’d risk losing myself in those beautiful eyes of his. I couldn’t afford that—not now. Not when I was fighting the current of loss for my Gran. Not when I was just barely past the point of drowning.
****
A quiet knock sounded on our door the following morning. After next to no nap the previous day for Mason and a restless night for both of us, we were just waking up at close to eight. I stumbled blearily out of bed, nearly tripping on my way to the door. A quick check of the peephole revealed the gorgeous sight that was Cal Jackson.
I opened the door before I could think about my attire. Dressed only in my t-shirt and underwear, I was far from decent.
I looked down at my bare legs and then up at him, taking in his hungry gaze as it roved my body with clear appreciation.
I let out a little shriek. “Can you watch Mason for a second?” I demanded, not waiting for his nod before rushing into the bathroom to put my jeans on. In my rush to pack Mason and me, I’d forgotten pajamas.
His deep-throated chuckle could be heard behind the closed door and did nothing to help the blush staining my cheeks.
When I emerged a minute later, the sight that greeted me stopped me in my tracks. My sweet boy, still flushed from sleep, was snuggling in Cal’s arms as though he’d known him all his life. I fought to make sense of the feeling of tenderness that warred with something akin to possession.
I’d never had to share Mason with anyone, not even his father. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.
“You’re good with him,” I murmured tentatively. “He likes you.”
His warm smile had my heart fluttering. “Good thing, ’cause I like him too
.” His chin tilted to a bag that sat on the nightstand. “I picked up some breakfast and coffee.”
“Thanks,” I murmured, reaching for it.
Inside, I found two Styrofoam cups of coffee, two bagels with cream cheese, a banana, and an avocado.
I looked up at Cal questioningly.
“The avocado and banana are for Bubs. I remember you saying he liked them.”
His thoughtfulness combined with him using Mason’s nickname was about to slay the rest of my carefully stitched together emotions.
Somewhere along the way a lot of the guys had started calling Mason “Bubs.” I’d resisted at first but it had stuck. With his chubby cheeks and deep baby chuckle it did sort of fit.
I blinked back the tears blurring my vision. “Thanks,” I replied hoarsely, turning my back on him and busying myself with preparing our breakfast.
I felt his heat at my back as he moved in close, Mason still in his arms. “Baby.” His voice was full of tenderness.
I shook my head, refusing to turn around. “I’m good. Just need a minute.”
His hand grasped my shoulder. “You don’t have to be. Good, I mean. You haven’t told me much about your grandma, but anyone can see you loved her.”
“I did,” I agreed gruffly. “Loving her means that I need to get through today. I need to be strong for Max and Emmie. I need to try not to throttle their mother,” I muttered dryly. “I can fall apart later. Not today.” I shook my head firmly.
The silence stretched as his hand remained sure and strong on my shoulder. “All right, I get you.” He agreed just as his phone rang. “A minute, baby.”
I turned to pull Mason into my arms as Cal answered his phone with a barked “Yeah?”
And with that he was in full Prez mode.
I fed Mason half listening to Cal’s side of the conversation. He was obviously talking to one of the guys, approving some sort of decision.
“I’ve got important shit going on today, keep the guys off me,” he ordered as the conversation was wrapping up. He nodded, listening. “Tell her Jill is fine. I’ve got her.”
His gaze cut to me as my belly pitched in response.
Cal (The Ride Series Book 5) Page 3
