Forever Red

by Carina Adams

  I linked my fingers through hers. “Come stay with me.”

  She arched a brow, tipping her head as if I were an idiot. “At Ally’s?”

  “Screw Ally. Her parents are gone and it’s my house, too. At least for right now.”

  Lia didn’t look convinced.

  “Red, I’m exhausted. All I want to do is sleep away the last few days. But I missed you like crazy and need you next to me. So if you can think of somewhere better, I’m all for it.”

  “I didn’t even think about your drive up here. Sorry!” She chewed on her bottom lip, thinking. “It’s been an insane night and I just want to be with you. I’ll ignore the hag. Let’s go.”

  We didn’t have to sneak in but, for some reason, we both crept quietly up the stairs and down the hall. When I turned on the light to my new room, Lia whistled low. “Your room is bigger than my entire house.”

  “And much quieter.” I grinned. Her answering scowl made me chuckle. “Too soon?”

  “Dude, twenty years from now will be too soon. I…” She was cut off by a knock on the door.

  “Nate?” a voice that I’d come to loathe asked through my door. Lia mouthed the name to me in obvious question, but other than that, neither of us moved. “I know you’re in there, I heard you come home,” Ally insisted, knocking again.

  I rolled my neck, cracking it. “What do you need, Ally?”

  “You’re home early. I thought you might want to watch a movie or something.”

  Lia crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me accusingly. I walked across the room and yanked open the door so Ally could see I wasn’t alone. “Lia’s here. We were going to hit the hay.”

  Ally’s eyes narrowed on my girlfriend briefly. “Oh. I see.” Shifting her body in the door so that I blocked Lia from sight, she smiled. “Okay. Well, maybe later, after you take her back to Two Lanes. You’ll love our media room. It’s huge and all state of the art.”

  Everything about it – from the way she said “her” to the how she pointed out that Lia lived in a trailer park while she had money – pissed me off. If she’d been a dude, I’d have knocked her dumb ass out for insulting my girl. Instead, I shook my head. “I don’t think so.” Slamming the door in her face, I turned to Red. “Do not listen to a thing she says.”

  “Nate?” she said and I shrugged. “Seriously, why in the hell is she calling you Nate?”

  I sat in the chair, leaning over to unlace my boots. “‘Cause everyone back home does, and she likes it better than Neil.” Plus, she’s a pain in the ass, I thought, leaving that part out.

  Lia kneeled in front of me, working on the other boot. “Do you like it better?”

  “No.” It was the truth. I felt like I’d developed dual personalities. Nate was who I used to be, the good ol’ country boy who always had a smile on his lips and did what he was supposed to; his carefree life revolving around football, music, and the farm. Neil, on the other hand, was someone completely different, and who I was now.

  “Good.” She pulled on the stiff heel of my Timberland, sliding it down my foot and setting it aside before turning and climbing on my lap. Pushing the ball cap from my head, she ran her fingers through my hair. “I like Neil.” Sliding fingertips to my cheeks, she cupped my face. “I missed him. I’d really like him to stick around for a while.”

  “You might not be saying that in a few weeks.” I winked. “I’m needy.”

  She giggled as I picked her up and carried her to the large bed. I hadn’t realized just how tired I still was, my eyes closing almost involuntarily as soon as my body hit the soft mattress. Tossing an arm over her stomach, I pulled her close. “Right now, I need you to let me hold you.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  ~ Cecelia ~

  Neil was gone when I woke up. It took me a few seconds to remember where I was, confusion at the unfamiliar bedroom clouding my already sleep-hazed mind. When I remembered, I sat up in a rush. I didn’t see a clock, but the sun had just started to come up so I knew it was still pretty early.

  Jumping off the bed, I ran into the bathroom, closing my eyes in disbelief when I saw that my usually unmanageable hair was now a giant mouse nest. I didn’t have time to fix it; I needed to find Neil. Stopping in the bedroom long enough to grab an elastic from my discarded jeans, I pulled the red mop back into a bun. Needing to wear something more than my tank and panties, I opened the drawers until I found one with Neil’s shirts and shoved one over my head.

  He wasn’t in the den or the living room. I felt like an intruder as I moved through the unfamiliar house. I found the kitchen in the very back of the house and, even though my boyfriend wasn’t there, he’d left me a note propped on the island, written in his perfectly neat handwriting.

  Sleeping Beauty,

  You looked so peaceful, dreaming away and snoring in that little way you do, I just couldn’t wake you up.

  I went for a run.

  Breakfast is in the microwave. Eat up. You’ll need the energy for what I have planned today.

  Be back soon.

  Love you!

  I smiled, shaking my head at his thoughtfulness. I totally had the sweetest boyfriend in the world. I opened the microwave door, pulling out a small plate with what looked like a Denver scramble with two slices of bacon – my favorite breakfast. I glanced around, unsure of where to look for a fork. Pulling open one drawer, I found only measuring cups and spoons.

  “Well, this is something I never thought I’d see.” The tone was full of disdain.

  “What? This?” I held up the plate for Ally could see. “Boyfriends make breakfast. I bet you’re so used to getting kicked out of bed in the middle of the night that you didn’t know that, though.” I covered my heart with my hand in mock sympathy. “I’m sorry.”

  She laughed once, a bitter sound with absolutely no humor attached to it. “Oh, honey, you’re not as special as you think. Nate’s made me breakfast every morning for the past few months. No, I was talking about you, slinking around my kitchen.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Looking for something to steal and hock back at the trailer park?”

  “Shit!” I exclaimed loudly, making her jump. “You caught me.” I narrowed my eyes, giving her my nastiest evil eye. “I’m looking for a fork, moron.”

  “You know, Nate might not realize what a bitch you are, but you won’t be able to fool him forever. Before long, he’ll see you for the trash you are.”

  It was my turn to laugh bitterly. “And do what – date a rich bitch like you? I’m scared; really, I am.”

  What was going to be her very witty reply, I’m sure, was cut off by the sound of the front door slamming. I heard Neil’s footsteps coming toward the kitchen as Ally’s eyes drifted over me. Right before he joined us, she smirked. “You should be.” Then she turned on her heel and left.

  Neil, soaked from his run, smiled when he saw me. “You’re awake,” he mentioned; all I could only nod. He tipped his head back, pointing in the direction he’d just come from, suddenly very serious. “The Stray giving you a hard time?”

  “Not any more than normal.” I yawned, suddenly wishing I’d stayed in bed. “You never told me why you call her that.”

  He’d gotten a glass and filled it with water, taking long gulps. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he smiled. “Stray?” he asked and I nodded. “I’m not sure. Someone called her an alley cat and I said she was more of a stray. It stuck.” He lifted an arm, sniffing himself. “I reek! Wanna join me in the shower?” He reached a hand out, grabbing mine, and yanked me behind him without even waiting for an answer.

  *****

  The scorching heat from the sun made the metal bleachers even more uncomfortable than they normally were. I shifted again, trying to keep any patch of bare skin from making contact. If I was getting bothered by the ninety-eight degree day, and I was, then Neil and the rest of the football players practicing on the field in front of me must be sweating through all their gear. I wished Coach would call pract
ice early so I could kidnap my boy and take him swimming.

  Julie came around the corner; hand over her eyes as she skimmed over the seating area, looking for me. I waved, motioning her to join me. I hadn’t had a chance to spend any time with my best friend in weeks; between work and boys, we were both busy. She nodded when she saw me and limped up the stairs and over to where I was sitting.

  “What happened to your leg?” I asked as soon as she was in earshot.

  She only shook her head, sliding in close so no one else could hear her; she never took her eyes off the field. “It isn’t my leg.”

  “Okay?” I asked, hoping she’d explain.

  Instead, she sighed. When she finally glanced over, I gave her the “tell-me-or-I’ll-drag-it-out-of-you” look and she rolled her eyes. As she looked back at the field, I noticed the blush creeping up her neck and onto her cheeks.

  “Wow. You’re embarrassed.” It surprised me because Jules never got self-conscious or ashamed anymore. Nothing fazed her. “This has got to be good.” I sat up straighter, adjusting and giving her my full attention.

  “Whatever,” she snapped. “Fine. We had a little mishap last night.”

  “Mishap?” My mind moved in a million directions at once.

  She swallowed. “A misdirection.”

  I still wasn’t following so I just stared at her.

  “Good Christ, Lia! He stuck it in the wrong hole, okay?”

  My mouth fell open and I just gawked at her while I processed her confession. Then the giggles started. Uncontrollable giggles.

  “Thanks!” she growled. “I’m fucking traumatized and you think it’s the funniest thing ever. Some best friend.”

  That sobered me. “Hey.” I reached out, touching her shoulder. “You’d laugh at me.” While it was an extremely valid point, it wasn’t helpful. “How in the hell did that happen?”

  “Fuck if I know.” She threw a hand into the air. “We were in the jeep, Mike hates missionary so it was cramped and awkward… anyway, he adjusted, and then it hurt like hell and I thought I was going to throw up. He is mortified. Not only because it happened, but because I’m apparently the first one that hasn’t liked it,” she whispered. “You cannot tell him I told you!”

  I fought back the laughter that threatened to bubble up. It was hard, but I did it. “The fucking idiot couldn’t tell the difference? It’s not like they’re even close to being the same thing.”

  “Guess not.” She looked at me, extremely serious. “Lia, don’t ever let Neil talk you into it. It is not like losing your virginity, and it doesn’t feel good at all.” Shaking her head vigorously to make her point, she added, “Missy’s crazy. Everything she’s ever told us is complete BS. I may never be okay again.”

  I had no idea what to say. None. Missy had crazy stories, although I only believed half of what she said, but she’d been pretty clear about how much she enjoyed this particular fetish. We’d spent an entire evening discussing it while we devoured five or six boxes of Girl Scout cookies and a couple of half gallons of ice cream.

  “I told Mike I’m getting an ‘Exit Only’ tattoo on my ass as soon as I’m eighteen.”

  I coughed, trying to force my body not to laugh.

  “I’m never going through that again, for any guy, no matter how hot he is. I’ve probably got PTSD.”

  That was all it took and I couldn’t contain my smart-ass any longer. “Or PTAF.”

  Jules looked at me, her face blank. “PTAF?”

  I tried to keep a straight face, but the smirk got bigger with each word. “Post-traumatic ass fu—”

  “Oh, my God!” she screeched, interrupting me. It worked, though, and seconds later we were both in tears and getting lots of questioning looks from the team. Jules covered her face with both hands. “Worst weekend ever! I don’t know if I can ever let him put that thing in me again now that I know where it’s been. And he can forget all oral. I’m really thinking about giving sex up.”

  “You’re not the only one.” I quickly filled Jules in on what Neil and I had unfortunately walked in on, not sparing her any of the dirty details. By the time I was done, she was in tears again and laughing so hard I thought she was going to black out from lack of oxygen.

  “Ladies,” I heard Coach call, but it didn’t sink in. “Ladies!” he screamed. We both snapped our heads up. Mr. Matthews had left the field and was standing at the bottom of the bleachers, hands on his hips, glaring up at us. “You’re distracting my players. If you can’t stay quiet, leave.”

  “Sorry!” Jules squeaked. She waited until he’d gone back to the team before adding, “They play in front of thousands of screaming fans and a bunch of prostitutes jumping around in skimpy skirts that barely cover their hoo-has, but us laughing is distracting? God, he’s an ass.”

  I couldn’t have said it better myself. This girl was not just my best friend, she understood me in a way no one else could. A small sliver of regret worked its way through me. I would miss her like crazy when I left. I asked her once to come with me, but she had decided a long time ago that she was content here. Maybe I could make an exception and come back to visit her. For now, though, I was going to focus on today and not worry about tomorrow.

  “Maybe he’s dealing with PTAF, too.” We lost it all over again. I hadn’t laughed like that in months.

  It was going to be a great day. Hell, it was going to be a great year. I had the most amazing boyfriend in the world and two of the best friends a girl could ask for. Senior year was going to be the best one yet.

  Neil dropped me off just after eleven. We’d spent the evening with Mike and Jules, playing in the water and just doing nothing. They were like an old married couple, bickering about everything and then holding hands and cuddling every chance they got. We only had two more days of freedom before school started. Part of me wished that we could spend those two days having a repeat of today, but I knew we each had too much to do.

  I crept into the house as quietly as possible; mom’s car was in the drive, but with any luck, she’d be sleeping. I hadn’t really seen her since that night and wasn’t sure I could even face her yet. No such luck, though. I’d barely gotten through the door when she spoke.

  “That wasn’t Mike’s Jeep. Who dropped you off?”

  I swallowed, trying to think of a lie. I hadn’t just managed to avoid her lately, I’d also been able to dodge telling her that Neil had moved back – without his family. She was going to love that. “Really? Now you need to know who I’m with?” I dropped my bag and turned into the kitchen.

  Mom sighed. “Fine.” She held up an envelope. “What’s this?”

  “A letter,” I deadpanned back.

  Her eyes narrowed and her entire face tensed in agitation.

  “I don’t know, Mom. What is it?” I asked, my tone a little softer.

  “This”—she waved it at me—“is a letter from your father.”

  Shit! That had my attention.

  She tipped her head and crossed her arms. “Wanna tell me why you’re still here?”

  “I live here.”

  “Cecelia,” she warned, letting me know I was on thin ice. “I want you to tell me why, when you have been asking if you could live with your dad since you were two, you didn’t tell me that he asked you to move in with him. And, why in the hell when you have wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of this community for years, you aren’t going.”

  I took a deep breath, not sure where to start. “He says he took another promotion – that he’s going to be stateside – but we’ve heard that before, haven’t we? I don’t want to move down and live with the step-monster. I want to live with my dad. You and I both know he’ll be sick of normal life and be begging to go back to sea within a month. So then, I’ll be stuck with her. Not to mention, I’d miss my senior year. This is my last chance to spend time with these people because once I’m gone, I’m gone.”

  I braced myself for the argument that I was sure would come. Instead, Mom nodded. “I
can understand how you feel, and you’re right. He won’t stay. But why didn’t you tell me he’d asked?”

  “You would have wanted me to go.” I grabbed a glass and turned on the faucet, waiting for cold water. “You’re only stuck with me a few more months, Mom. Then I’m out of your hair for good.”

  “Honey, I’ve never been stuck with you. But I want you to have a relationship with your dad. He loves you.”

  “Then maybe he should have made an effort seventeen years ago.” I set my glass in the sink and moved around her toward my room. She was already pissed, might as well make sure she stayed that way a while. “Neil dropped me off. He moved home a few weeks ago.” Before she could answer, I shut my door, closing her out.

  I knew she’d blame Neil. When Dad had asked me, though, Neil was staying in Alabama. I considered saying yes, just because Maryland was a hell of a lot closer to Neil than Maine was, and it seemed like it might be a win-win for me: get me closer to my boyfriend, get me the hell outa Dodge, and give me time with my dad.

  Then I’d thought about it. All the reasons I gave my mom were the exact ones that had swayed me. I’d never been an important enough reason for my dad to change anything about his life, and I knew that I still wasn’t. I missed him like crazy and wished that he’d come visit, but I would not uproot my life and move just to have him abandon me again.

  Grabbing the cordless phone off its cradle, I dialed the familiar number. He answered on the first ring. “Hey, beautiful. How do you always know when I’m thinking of you?”

  “Aren’t you always thinking of me?”

  Neil chuckled. “I am.” He yawned. “Ready for bed?”

  I wasn’t, but he had practice at six and needed to get some rest. Nothing was so important that it couldn’t wait until tomorrow. “Yeah.” I climbed into bed fully clothed and let his deep Southern drawl lull me to sleep.

  *****

  Once school started, we settled into a comfortable and familiar routine. Neil would pick me up for school, we’d go to classes, and on nights I didn’t have to work, I’d hang around after school, studying or watching the team practice. Then Neil would bring me home, we’d have dinner and spend some time together before he went back to the Jackson’s house and called me. Mom kept her opinion to herself most of the time, but I could tell she thought we were spending too much time together. I didn’t care; I needed to spend as much time with him as I could while I could.