Jay Walking (Pastime Pursuits)

by Tracy Krimmer

  "Don't act like you have no idea who I am."

  She's standing in front of me, towering over me, with her hands flat on the table. I want to stand, but at this moment I'm transported back to high school when Lindsay Reese tried to pick a fight with me at lunch over a rumor she thought I spread (I didn't. Not my style). Seeing Lauren at the ice cream shop didn't intimidate me like this. That was from a distance. Now, she's even more human. Before I saw her flawless body and perfect smile, her long, flowing hair. Now I see a woman whose life I helped tear apart. I see tired eyes and a shaking voice. I see regret.

  She picks up one of my kits. "Not bad," she says as she places it back. "I'm not here to yell at you or start anything."

  I swallow. Hard. "You're not?"

  "No. We're both hard-working mothers. We may have horrible taste in men, but we're above the drama. I hope."

  She raises her eyebrows as she waits for a response from me. I'm still unable to formulate a full sentence.

  "This is my church, and your name is on the roster of vendors. My friends told me to stay away, but I couldn't. I wanted to see who you are."

  In an attempt to strengthen my presence, I sit up straighter and further back on the chair. "Okay. You saw."

  She laughs. "Are you afraid of me? Because you don't have to be. I came here with good intentions."

  What good intentions can be behind this? I may or may not be responsible for the breakup of her marriage, and she stands before me. In every Lifetime movie I've seen (and I've seen a lot), this never ends well. I imagine in thirty seconds we will be in the center of the room, tearing each other's hair out. For what though? Daniel?

  "He's always been a sweet talker. I don't doubt you fell for his convincing words. He lied to me for a long time, and when I initially found out about you, I hated you. Daniel said he broke things off, and I believed him. Throughout the first year of our marriage, there were others. None of them stuck like you did, though."

  She pauses as though I am supposed to say something. Why is she telling me all this?

  "I checked you out on Facebook and saw the pictures of you and your son."

  My heart drops to the floor, and I immediately want to call James to be sure he is okay. Is she going to do something to me? To him? I'm finding it difficult to breathe, and my pulse is caught in my throat.

  "His name is James."

  "He has a brother and sister, you know."

  My temperature is increasing, and I'm positive I'm sweating through the arms of my shirt.

  "I'm not here to win him back; I don't want him. But, I do expect him to be involved in Natalie and Nathan's lives."

  This is the first time I'm learning his other kid's names. Of course, I never asked him to tell me either, and I'm clueless as to why. I simply nod, because I'm not sure what to say.

  She opens her purse, a tiny clutch bag I would have gone crazy over before I had James, and pulls out a small card. "Here's my number," she says as she hands it to me. My heavy, shaking hand takes it. "I want our kids to know each other. They're siblings and deserve that much."

  Wow. I blink a few times to make sure she truly is standing before me, and this is what she's saying. I thought about her and Daniel's kids before and what it meant for James, but I never considered this.

  "Um, yeah, definitely." I sound like a doofus, but I'm trying to grasp the fact that Lauren is here, talking to me, and not challenging me to a physical fight. Her maturity of the situation shocks me, and I'm surprised even more that I think I like her. "Thank you, Lauren, and I'm sorry for everything."

  She clutches her purse closer to her body. "Me, too." Her eyes linger on mine for a moment. "Anyway, call, text, or email sometime. Please."

  "I will." She walks away, and I press her card to my chest, no intention of telling Daniel about this conversation.

  chapter twenty-seven

  The balloons fill the backyard, held down by Mickey Mouse weights, a little something I requested for James. Two picnic tables are arranged on either side of the yard with a multi-colored tablecloth over them and floral patterned place settings at each spot. I can't believe my parents are throwing me a birthday party. I'm turning twenty-nine, not thirty, or some other big milestone like forty or fifty. They insisted, though, no matter how many times I declined, and held off until mid-July, even though my birthday is in June.

  "I just love this cake! The bakery did a spectacular job!" My mom squeals.

  They did create an incredible piece. The bright yellow fondant frosting covers the two-tiers, separated by an abundance of leaves. The caked is topped with huge pink, white, and purple flowers, which are also carefully placed throughout the rest of the open area, though slightly smaller versions. I can't wait to dig in.

  "Do you like the cake, James?"

  "Yes!" He yells and gives me one of the biggest hugs ever. Though we're celebrating my birthday, he's excited about the party and all the people coming over.

  I tell him to go on the slide while I chat with my mom. I'm happy she and my dad decided to get him a little play set this summer. He still loves the park but going in the backyard now to release some energy instead of having to pack up to go somewhere is so much more convenient.

  "Thank you so much the party. You didn't have to do this."

  She spins the cake multiple ways trying to determine the best way to display the masterpiece. "And where is Daniel?" She puts her hands on her hips and steps back to gain another vantage point of the setup.

  "He'll be here soon." The truth is I don't know when he'll be here. Or even if he will at all. Over a month into our arrangement, and he has yet to impress me with his fatherly duties. He claims he's so swamped at work, and he's too exhausted to help out. When James wants to do something like play hide and seek he participates, but the second he needs a bath or something to eat or even a bedtime story read to him, Daniel is suddenly too busy or too tired. When he desires time with me, though, he's front and center.

  "Are you sure? I don't want James to be disappointed."

  She says this like I do. Of course, I want James' father to be here celebrating with us. I want nothing more than for us to enjoy today as a family. But I don't keep Daniel on a leash or in a chokehold. He has two other kids, and he's free to come and go as he pleases. Today, though, is different. "He's had these plans for a few months now so I couldn't ask him to break them."

  "Going paintballing with his friends?"

  "He's standing up in a wedding. It's a bachelor party, so he has to go."

  My dad comes out with a fresh fruit platter and places it next to the cake. "If he wants to step up and be a father, he can try his best to be an all-around good guy. He should have canceled his plans to be here."

  My dad still hasn't warmed up to him, and I'm not sure he will. I hope, but right now that's all I have.

  "Let's just drop it, okay?" I straighten out the already crisp tablecloth. "The party doesn't end until we say so. He has time."

  "He's had plenty of time."

  I grunt at him before joining James at the playset. My dad and I are on slightly better speaking terms than before, but we could use improvement. I wish I could make everyone in my life happy. James likes having his dad around, and if my dad can't appreciate that, then I can't help him. Daniel may not be perfect, but, then again, who is? Sure, things are rocky at best between me and Daniel, but they're working. I'm disappointed he isn't at the party, but it's only beginning. He'll show up.

  "Come on, James, you can do it!" My hand is under his butt as he works his way up the fake rocks on the side of the playset. The little guy is determined to climb on his own, but I'm too afraid of him falling and hitting his head. I let my hand hover so he can't feel me touching him, and he thinks he's doing it by himself. I clap when he reaches the top and crawls into the playhouse area.

  "Bravo, James!" Amber calls from the street as she crosses over onto the lawn. "You're a pro!"

  "Hey, Amber!" I scoop James off the play set into my arms
. He's getting so heavy, and I don't want to think of the day my baby will be too much to carry. I want to be able to pick him up forever.

  She's carrying a small gift bag and a tiny box. "How's my buddy James doing? Are you behaving for your mom?"

  He nods and gives her a big smile.

  Her brown hair is now lighter, and she's added streaks of gold making her green eyes pop against the color. "You look amazing, Amber! Why the hair color change?"

  She hands the gifts to me and snags James. "I thought maybe a change was in order."

  "Hm. Okay," I say with slight sarcasm because I'm well aware this is somehow an attempt to get Ryan's attention. "Well, I love what you did."

  I guide her to the table my mom spent so much time setting up. "You didn't have to get me anything." And she didn't. It's enough my mom wanted to throw me this party.

  "I wanted, too," she says and takes the gift bag from my hand, giving it to James. "This is for you, though!"

  I love she brings him gifts. I'm sure he loves it, too! He runs off with the bag to my parents.

  "It's another Mickey Mouse plush."

  Of course. We have tons of those, and he always wants more. If it makes him smile and brightens his day, I don't care how many we have. We'll hoard Mickey Mouse if necessary.

  "Okay, open yours," she urges me.

  "Should I wait for the party to start?"

  "I'm here, girl. The party's started!" She tosses a thumbs up sign. "I want you to open it."

  The box is tiny, wrapped in plain red paper. I rip it open and recognize the item right away. "A fitness tracker? Aren't those a little expensive?" The band is thin and black.

  "Don't worry about the price. I'm proud of all the work you're doing. You deserve this."

  I'm reading the features on the back of the package. The little device can monitor my heart, track my sleep patterns, and register all my activity. "This is great, Amber. Thank you so much."

  She wraps her arms around me in a tight hug, and I can't help but think there is more to this hug than the present.

  •••

  Three hours later, the party is going well. Some of my relatives joined us, as well as Ryan. Amber must have invited him, and that's fine. He's a fun guy, and James seems to like him. After we eat and enjoy cake, I get James down for a nap and head back to my guests, and Daniel still hasn't made an appearance.

  "Why don't you text him?" Amber suggests as if the thought never crossed my mind.

  We're sitting at the now cleaned off table playing cards. Poker isn't one of my favorite games. I'd much rather play a few rounds of Go Fish like I do with James, but I'm sure I'm the only one.

  I check with my straight, confident in my ability to win the round. My mom folds while Amber studies her hand. I never noticed before how she chews her bottom lip. I wish I played with her enough to recognize if this is one of her tells, even though we aren't playing for money, just bragging rights.

  Amber glances up at me, raising her eyebrows a bit. She's teasing me, trying to make me nervous. "I'm not going to text him. He can show up when and if he damn well pleases."

  "I can't believe he missed this," my mom jumps in and pops a potato chip in her mouth. "He needs to make a better effort."

  I slam my cards on the table, exposing my hand. "We're trying the best we can. Can everyone just get off my back about this already?"

  "Whoa! Calm down, lady!" A voice says behind me.

  I turn to Clint and Bentley making their way to us. "Clint! I didn't know you were coming."

  I meet him halfway, and we embrace. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss your party. I brought Bentley. I hope you don't mind."

  Bentley has always been so nice to me and encouraging in class. He and Clint make a great team. "Not at all. We still have cake left. I'll get you some."

  "None for me," Bentley puts his hands up. "Thanks, though. Happy birthday by the way."

  "Thanks." I'm distracted as Daniel pulls up and parks. Ah, he finally decides to show up. I've never gone paintballing, but I can't imagine it takes all day. "Excuse me for a minute." I touch Clint's arm as I move past him to greet Daniel.

  Daniel leaps out of the car and furiously strides toward me. "What the hell was that?" he asks.

  I dodge my head to either side and look behind me, and then back at Daniel. "What?" No 'happy birthday' or a hello kiss?

  "What's that douchebag from the gym doing here? And why are you touching him? Tell him to leave."

  "Clint?" I'm standing in front of Daniel now, and his cheeks are red, his eyes squinting as he peers past me eyeing Clint. "He came to wish me a happy birthday, which is more than I can say for you."

  He refocuses to me. "What? I'm here, aren't I?"

  "Like over three hours late!" I touch my hand to my forehead and sigh. "I can't do this right now. Please just come sit down and eat something. I'm sure after paintballing, you're starving."

  He steps toward me, grabs me, and plants a huge kiss on me. The alcohol on his breath is enough for me to want to offer him a breath mint. "I'm hungry, baby, if you know what I mean."

  "What?" I pull away. "I don't think so, Daniel. Come on now, take a seat."

  He points to Clint. "He needs to leave, first."

  "No, he doesn't. He's my friend, and I want him here."

  Daniel shoves past me, and I try to call out to him, but he's already confronting Clint. "Stay away from Chelsea, man. She doesn't want you."

  "Daniel, right?" Clint plays dumb. "Chelsea's my friend, nothing more. And even if she did want me, you couldn't do much about it."

  "Hey, you little Rocky wannabe, Chelsea is mine and if I tell you to stay away from her, you do as I say."

  "Really?" He pats his hands together. "Are you her bodyguard or something?"

  My heart is racing, and I want to yell out for them to stop, but at the same time, nothing will make me happier than Clint punching Daniel in his face and putting him in his place. My dad hangs silently on the sidelines, either to protect himself from harm or to let this stupid little game play out.

  Daniel pokes him in the chest. "She's my girlfriend. Not yours."

  A grin fills Clint's face. "Is that what you're worried about, guy?" He reaches his hand out, and Bentley takes it. "Meet Bentley, my boyfriend." Bentley doesn't wave or smile; he stands there, letting Clint and Daniel work out their differences. "Trust me when I tell you I am not interested in Chelsea that way."

  Amber is now standing next to me, jabbing me in my side, and she's holding in a laugh. I'm sure Daniel is embarrassed, but he'll never admit to it.

  "I don't trust anything you say. I don't like you. At. All. And I want you to leave."

  Now I'm pissed. "Daniel, this is my parent's house, and unless they ask him to leave, which they won't, he's more than welcome to stay."

  "Chels, thanks for sticking up for me, but I'll just go." He clenches his jaw and pulls Bentley close to him. "Before I punch Daniel in the face."

  "Get the hell out of here!" Daniel points to the street as though he's the one making this happen. I'm ready to jump on top of him and start punching him myself for what an ass he's being. But, if Clint and Bentley are going to leave regardless, I don't want to cause more of a scene than is already playing out.

  "Clint, stay." I'm pleading, but my pulse is throbbing and I wait for a physical fight to begin.

  He drops Bentley's hand and steps over to me. Out of the corner of my eye, Daniel is clenching his fist open and shut when Clint gives me a quick hug. "It's fine. I'll see you in class?"

  I nod though I'm already certain I won't be going back.

  chapter twenty-eight

  A month after the whole birthday incident, things finally are starting to improve. Somehow Daniel found it within himself to apologize for his behavior toward Clint, but I take that with a grain of salt. I think he read into how miserable not going to my boxing class made me. The fitness tracker is coming in handy on my walks, and I upgraded to jogs around the neighborhood. I'm
clearing almost two miles every time I run!

  This morning before work James is still asleep, so I'm granted the rare opportunity to check my online store for sales. This never happens and after my write-up for using the site at the office, I never go on from there anymore. I login and the number 15 flashes on my order status page. No way.

  I click the button, and sure enough 15 orders are waiting for me. Some people are requesting more than one kit! I catch my breath after the reality sinks in. This is huge for me. I print out the sheet, placing the long list of orders on my desk. I jump into the shower as Daniel is waking up. He's started staying over often, and this is helping a little with our relationship.

  The one great thing about him sleeping over is he's here in the morning, and I can shower longer than three minutes. My showers typically are a quick wash down, and I rely on leave-in conditioner to comb through my hair. I simply don't have the time. Ten minutes in the shower is a luxury. I'm able to relax and take my time washing (and shaving!) everything I need to.

  As I'm finishing up, Daniel wakes James and gets him dressed. "I'm running James up to your mom's!" The water muffles his voice. I'll eat some breakfast with James after my shower.

  I bask in my few minutes of alone time and don't rush as I dry off. I wrap my towel around me, grab my toothbrush, and start scrubbing away on my teeth. I spit when the bathroom door flies open.

  "What the hell are these?"

  Daniel is holding the picture I never gave to Jay, as well as the card Lauren wrote her phone number on. A double whammy.

  "Where did you find those?" I believe I put both items by my scrapbooking materials, which he has no right to search through.

  "Not that it matters, but James handed them to me. I've got no clue where he got them from."

  He's throwing our son into the mix as if this excuses his yelling at me. "I don't think it makes a difference what these are." I grab them from him, and my towel falls off. I quickly crouch down and cover myself. "They're none of your business; that's what." The picture of me and Jay is now wet, and the top right page is already beginning to curl.