You’re the Reason

by J. Nathan

  The girl in the seat in front of him twisted around and gladly offered up the assignment.

  His looks are a disguise, sweetheart. The guy’s a total jerk.

  Once class ended, I closed my computer and stood up.

  “Thanks for nothing,” Chase muttered from his seat.

  I gave him a sidelong glance. “Seriously?”

  “Someone needs help and your reaction is to ignore them?” he asked.

  If he thought he could make me feel bad for my behavior, he had another thing coming. “If memory serves me right, it sounds exactly like what happened outside your frat when you told me to leave.”

  He scoffed as he pushed himself to his feet, towering over me by a foot. His blue eyes riveted between mine. “It’s gonna be a long fucking semester.” He walked away, leaving anger clawing at my insides and my pulse thrashing against my skin.

  ***

  “Put those by the far side of the tent,” Chantel called to Valerie and me.

  We rolled our eyes at each other as we carried boxes from Chantel’s Mercedes to the huge white function tent in the sorority house’s backyard. Chantel had guilt-tripped me into helping her, since half her sisters were in class until five and her rush event started at seven.

  “Is she sure this is okay?” I asked Valerie as we passed by the yellow caution tape wrapped around the front lawn.

  Valerie shrugged. “She claims no one said we couldn’t be outside our house.”

  “Does it make you uncomfortable being here?” I asked, knowing Sydney Lane’s death was the reason the house was closed for the year.

  “A little.” She stepped ahead of me, walking faster. I took that to mean she didn’t want to discuss Sydney.

  We walked under the tent weaving around the ten round tables covered with white linen tablecloths. Vases of fresh flowers sat in the center of each table. If I didn’t know this was for a sorority rush event, I would’ve thought it was for a wedding. We put the boxes down on the ground in the corner of the tent.

  “Careful with those!” Chantel shouted.

  We spun around, thinking we’d done something wrong, but Chantel was yelling at some frat guys who were helping set up the white wooden folding chairs around each table.

  I whispered to Valerie. “Is she always this bossy?”

  Valerie nodded. “House or no house. She’s not about to let anything ruin her reign as sorority president.”

  “Tina!” Chantel shouted to Valerie’s roommate, currently fixing the flowers on the tables. “If any of those vases spill, it’s on you.”

  Once Chantel turned back around, Tina mimicked her.

  “I’m serious,” Chantel said, her stern tone meaning she meant business. “These girls might not be getting the whole Alpha Phi experience this year, but the Alpha Phis will remain the best sorority this college has ever seen.” Once her Elle Wood’s speech ended, Chantel pulled a long strand of lights out of one of the boxes. “Valerie! Hang these all around the tent.”

  Valerie inhaled a long breath in an effort to stay calm then walked over to Chantel, yanking the lights from her hand.

  “Watch it, Val,” Chantel said through gritted teeth.

  My eyes narrowed as I watched their interaction.

  Sensing me watching, Chantel’s eyes flicked to me. Once she noticed she had an audience, she smiled at Valerie and her tone changed. “You wouldn’t want to break any of the bulbs.”

  Valerie said nothing to Chantel as she turned and walked away. “Are you sure you don’t want to rush the Alpha Phis, Sophia?” Valerie said as she passed by me with the lights.

  It wasn’t a real question. She knew I’d be just fine without “sisters.” Especially, bossy sisters who thought they ruled the world.

  ***

  Chase burst into Friday’s class late again. This time he leaned forward and asked the girl in front of him what our assignment was for the film clip that was playing. She showed him the directions. Not once did he look my way, which was fine by me. So was the fact that I hadn’t found him on my bed or in my room lately.

  At the end of class, Professor Irons flipped on the light and handed out papers to the students in the front of each row to pass back. I scanned the paper as he explained our assignment. “By next Friday, view one of the Holocaust films I’ve put on reserve in the media viewing room at the library. Complete the assignment I’ve just distributed and submit it through the university portal.”

  “Can we get the films online?” a girl up front asked.

  “Sorry, we’re kicking it old-school with VHS tapes,” Professor Irons said with a coy grin. “Can you believe the library still has VHS players? They’re called VCRs.”

  The class broke into laughter.

  “These films are cinematic classics, and if you were to find them on the World Wide Web, they’re only on VHS which I’m guessing none of you have the ability to play on your modern technology,” he continued with amusement in his eyes. “I assure you, there are enough films to choose from that if you all end up at the library at the same time—which is unlikely since you’ll be working with partners—you’d still have your choice of films.”

  Partners?

  “There are six rows, five in each row,” Professor Irons said. “I’m going to make this very easy on you. The first row by the door, turn to the person on your left.”

  My stomach dropped and I closed my eyes, knowing I was going to hate this project.

  “Rows three and five do the same. Say hello to your partner for the term,” Professor Irons said. “Be sure to exchange your digits or whatever it is you kids say today. And be sure this first assignment is complete for Friday.”

  The other students happily introduced themselves to their partners and exchanged numbers. I grabbed my things and stuffed them into my bag. “You know where to find me,” I muttered as I stood and hurried out of the room without even looking at my damn partner.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  I stayed in my room most of the day Saturday doing homework and watching movies while Chantel was off preparing for more rush events. She didn’t come home that night, likely spending quality time with Chase.

  I ate breakfast with Valerie Sunday morning then returned to my room where I remained in yoga pants and a T-shirt for the entire day watching football, something my dad and I did religiously. He didn’t get the son he obviously would’ve liked to have, so I got to do all the guy things with him—and I wasn’t complaining. I loved sports, especially football.

  Just after seven, there was a knock at my door. I crawled off my bed and walked to it, pulling it open a crack.

  Unexpectedly, the door pushed all the way open, causing me to stumble back. Chase pushed his way inside my room.

  “Whoa,” I said, spinning around to face him. “Chantel’s not here.”

  “You know where to find me,” he said, using my words on me.

  “I…”

  He crossed his arms and leaned his ass against my desk in low hung grey basketball shorts, a tight-fitting navy T-shirt, and a backpack on his back. “Well, here I am. So, grab your shit and let’s go.”

  I crossed my arms. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “It’s my grade too, partner.”

  I let out a shaky breath. No matter how much I hated this—and no matter how much the universe was working against me—he’d been the one who was rude. Not me. I wouldn’t play his game. I was better than that.

  I gave a sigh of resignation and walked to where he stood, stopping in front of him. “Move.”

  He didn’t, his eyes now on my television. “Why are you watching football?”

  I tilted my chin up. “Because I like it. Now move.”

  He still didn’t budge, but something unfamiliar flashed in his eyes.

  “I need my stuff,” I explained, knowing we’d stand like that all night if he thought I was kicking him out.

  He pushed off my desk with his signature glare and moved to the other side of the room. “You
changing?”

  I spun to look at him. “Oh, I’m sorry. Are yoga pants and a T-shirt not good enough for frat boy?”

  His eyes narrowed. “I meant do you need me step out so you can change.”

  “Oh.” Idiot. I snatched my backpack off my chair and tucked my laptop inside. “Let’s go.”

  He followed me out the door, closing it on his way out. We walked down the hallway in silence, two strangers—and enemies—trying to co-exist. I wasn’t short, but he was a full foot taller than me and I felt the height difference as we made it down the three flights of stairs and outside into the dark night. I hadn’t explored the library yet, so I didn’t even know where to head. Sensing my confusion, he began walking to the left of my dorm.

  I kept pace with Chase’s long strides. He said nothing, so I did the same as we crossed the nearly deserted campus to the library. Lights filtered through the windows of the glass exterior of the tall modern building—such a contrast to all the older buildings that surrounded the quad. Vast stone steps led up to the entrance to the library. When we reached the front door, he pulled it open and walked through, letting it practically close in my face. Asshole.

  Maintaining my composure, I kept up with him as he walked through the lobby and right to the elevator at the far side. He jammed his finger into the button and we waited, the silence between us growing. The elevator chimed and the doors split apart. We stepped inside and Chase pressed the button for the sixth floor. The doors closed and the tension in the air could be cut with a knife. “Where’s Chantel?” I finally asked.

  “Not her keeper.”

  “She didn’t come home last night,” I said, looking for a reaction.

  He gave none.

  The elevator door opened, and we stepped out to a floor filled with wooden tables. Some were occupied by groups studying and working quietly. Others were devoid of bodies but covered with books and open laptops. I followed Chase to the right until we stopped outside a dark room with windows filling the front. One strip of tiny blue floor lights running the perimeter of the room gave off minimal light inside.

  As we stepped inside, I glanced around at the cubicles with televisions on desks and comfy chairs in front of them strategically set up in different areas of the room.

  Chase walked to the counter where a short girl in glasses stood. She spoke to a guy in front of us. “I’m sorry. But it looks like it’s been taken out.”

  “What the fuck?” he growled at her. “I’ve got a paper due tomorrow.” His voice grew louder and angrier. “What the hell am I supposed to do?”

  In the dim light of the small desk lamp on her counter, we could see her inch back from the counter, clearly unsettled by this guy.

  “Whoa,” Chase said, getting in the guy’s face. “I heard her say someone took it out.”

  The guy, though not as big as Chase, glared at him. “What?”

  “I think you owe her an apology.”

  After a long stare down, the guy tore his eyes away from Chase and glanced to the girl. “My mistake.” He turned and stormed out of the room.

  “You good?” Chase asked the girl.

  She nodded. “Thank you.”

  I blinked several times, trying to comprehend what I’d witnessed. Was Chase actually capable of kindness? Had he really just shown a sliver of humanity to this girl?

  “He was a jerk,” Chase assured her.

  She nodded, still visibly shaken but trying to wear a brave face. “What can I do for you?” she asked.

  “We need one of the movies Professor Irons put on reserve,” he said.

  “Which one?” she asked.

  “You choose,” he said, a light tone to his voice. “Though the shortest one would be appreciated.”

  Wait. Was that a dig at spending time with me?

  She spun around and searched the shelves behind her for a movie. She pulled out a VHS tape and handed it to Chase. “I leave at nine, so just return it to the returns basket when you’re finished.”

  “You bet,” he said, turning away from her and moving to one of the television cubicles. We had our pick, since no one else was in the media room. He pulled out a chair at a corner cubicle with two chairs and dropped into it.

  “That was a nice thing you just did,” I said.

  He said nothing.

  Grrr. I lowered my bag to the floor and sat down beside him. “Do you know how to use a VCR?”

  He shot me a sideways glare.

  “It was a valid question.”

  The cold tone returned to his voice. “Do you think I live under a rock?”

  “Well, I’d say you were definitely raised by wolves.”

  He ignored my dig and inserted the video.

  I pulled the assignment out of my bag, reading over the requirements. We needed to cite each time the film depicted an event that mirrored modern society.

  “What do we need to do?” he asked.

  “Oooooh. Can you not read?”

  “You can’t help yourself, can you?” he said, pulling the assignment from his bag so he didn’t need to depend on me for the information. “You’ve got a comeback for everything.”

  I scoffed. “And you have a rude comment for everything.”

  “Only when it comes to you.”

  I pressed my palm to my chest. “Should I feel honored?”

  Annoyance flashed across his face, my refusal to concede to him clearly bothering him.

  The black and white movie began on the screen, and we turned our attention to it.

  My eyes struggled to adapt to the movie’s lack of high definition. And, thirty minutes in, I found myself completely distracted. Between the boring movie and the eye strain, I couldn’t focus. Then, there was also Chase’s kindness toward that girl that kept popping into my mind. It was like my brain was trying to link the two Chase’s together and having major difficulty. Who was he really? The nice guy who helped someone in need? Or, the cruel guy who didn’t know how to smile?

  The minutes ticked by. And soon, the stark realization that we were very alone in that dark media room hit me. His crisp woodsy cologne kept inching its way over to me, inhabiting each one of my breaths. Then, the vision of him barging into my room kept replaying in my mind. I wished the way he just commanded a room with his tall body and pronounced muscles hadn’t made me visualize him doing very inappropriate things. But they had. God dammit they had.

  The urge to look over at him began to rival that of me trying not to eat chocolate.

  I was smarter than this.

  I gave myself an internal tsk. Something was clearly wrong with me. Yes, he was good looking, with his perfectly styled dark hair and full lips. Yes, he showed he could be kind when he wanted to be. But, he was a complete freaking asshole the rest of the time.

  And I hated him for it.

  “How many do you have written?” he whispered.

  I startled, as if he’d overheard my mind’s ramblings. I took a second to pull my thoughts together, then glanced to my notebook. “Six.”

  “Six?”

  “Do you have more?”

  He shook his head.

  I sighed. “The point of having a partner is to share information. We can compare our notes at the end.”

  He yanked my notebook from my hands.

  “You’re seriously the rudest guy I’ve ever met.”

  He held his palm to his chest. “Should I be honored?”

  I pressed my lips together, hating that he used my own line on me—again. “You can have my answers, but we still need to write the paper together.”

  “I have something every day this week. This needs to get done tonight.”

  “We have class at eight,” I said, noting it was nearing ten.

  He handed me back my notebook. “Yeah, well, we need to get this done tonight. You better type fast.”

  Rude and bossy.

  The film ended an hour later. As the credits rolled, I pulled out my laptop and opened a blank document.

  “Ju
st add me to the doc and we can do every other paragraph,” he said.

  “Fine. But let’s brainstorm a direction and we’ll type as we talk.”

  For the next two hours, we shared ideas, combined them, and shockingly composed a hell of a paper. Though I’d never say it out loud, Chase was a lot smarter than I expected.

  “I’m not sure how they did things at your old school, but you need to submit essays through the university portal,” he said.

  “Done.” I sent it off to the professor through the portal. “We had that in Maine, too.”

  He gathered his stuff. “Why’d you transfer here, anyway?”

  Surprised by the personal question, I shrugged. “I wanted to be closer to home.”

  “Where’s home?”

  “Chantel didn’t tell you?”

  He shook his head as he slung his backpack over his back. “We don’t do a whole lot of talking.”

  Of course, they didn’t. “I’m from Cedarville. It’s a small town about forty-five minutes from here.”

  He nodded.

  The urge to ask where he was from came over me, but I refrained for fear of the evil Chase rearing his ugly head.

  He pushed himself to his feet. “You ready?”

  I gathered my bag as he ejected the movie and brought it back to the desk, dropping it in the returns box.

  He met me at the door, surprising me by opening it and holding it for me. We journeyed through the now-deserted sixth floor toward the elevator. The elevator eventually arrived, and we stepped in, closed alone inside once again. I shuffled my feet, maintaining a comfortable distance between us. I hated that I could hear his steady breathing, and that damn cologne had followed me, taunting me with its freshness.

  The elevator stopped on the main floor and the doors opened. Relieved to be free of the closed-in space, I walked toward the exit. We stepped outside and descended the steps together. “I’ll see you in the morning,” I said.

  “Fuck that.”

  My brows shot up.

  “You’re not walking back to the dorms alone.”

  “I’m not?”

  He shook his head, taking off in the direction of my dorm.

  “I’m fine,” I said, following after him. “I’ve got mace and a phone.”