You’re the Reason

by J. Nathan

  He stopped and spun toward me, anger brewing in his eyes. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Do you make a habit of putting yourself in unsafe situations for a reason?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The scene at the frat house.”

  I threw my hands out to my sides. “The scene you made?”

  He dragged his hands through his hair. “Stop trusting people you don’t know. It’s like you’re hell bent on throwing yourself into the lion’s den.”

  My face scrunched. Lion’s den? “What does that even mean?”

  “It means you’re too trusting.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Look, I’m not your girlfriend. I’m not even your friend. So, you need to stop telling me what to do.”

  He ground his teeth together and his jaw ticked.

  “I’ll take that ticking in your jaw as you understanding.” I spun away from him and hurried toward the path that led to my dorm, leaving him in the dark. I didn’t turn around, though the sound of snapping branches along the path gave me pause numerous time. But my need to prove I was strong urged me on.

  When I finally spotted the light at the front of my dorm, I breathed a sigh of relief. I reached the door and scanned my I.D. card. The door unlocked and I stepped inside. Once I stood safely alone in the front foyer, I looked through the window out into the darkness. About fifty yards out, I spotted Chase turn away from the building and walk in the opposite direction.

  He’d followed me home?

  Why?

  CHAPTER SIX

  Chase didn’t show up to History through Film the following morning. I wondered if he was avoiding me, since our encounter the previous night ended so badly.

  When he still wasn’t there Wednesday, I began to get curious. Maybe it wasn’t me. Maybe something else was going on with him. But if I asked Chantel, I’d be raising questions I didn’t want to have to answer.

  On Friday, when he still wasn’t there, I could think of nothing else throughout Professor Irons’ lecture. Our last conversation played through my mind. Why had he wanted to get the paper done so early? He’d blamed having something to do—likely fraternity rush stuff I assumed, but that wasn’t happening at eight o’clock in the morning.

  ***

  My legs bounced restlessly as Chantel joined Valerie and me for breakfast on Saturday morning for the first time ever. Our normally light conversation seemed forced and awkward with Chantel there.

  “We’re partying at Kappa Sigma tonight,” Chantel said.

  “I haven’t seen Chase around lately,” Valerie said.

  My head whipped in Valerie’s direction. She noticed he’d been missing too? I hadn’t mentioned it to her. Hell. I hadn’t mentioned anything about him to anyone.

  “Why would you?” Chantel snapped at her, making me thankful I hadn’t been the one to bring it up.

  Valerie’s eyes grew distant and her shoulders sagged.

  A sinking feeling formed in my stomach. I hated the way Chantel spoke to Valerie.

  It was as if no one had the guts to speak up to her. I guess I understood their fear. Her sugar-sweet personality definitely had the tendency to switch like lightning. No wonder why she had a thing for Chase. His split personality mirrored hers.

  ***

  “You’re coming, right?” Chantel asked as she returned from her shower later that night.

  “Nah. I’m just gonna stay in tonight,” I said, knowing I’d been banned from Kappa Sigma. And, since I hadn’t seen Chase since Sunday night’s incident, running into him when drinks were flowing freely seemed like a bad idea.

  She shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

  Thirty minutes later, there was a knock on the door. “Can you get that?” Chantel asked, as she curled her hair in the closet mirror.

  I rolled off my bed and pulled open the door. A group of sorority girls filed in, filling the room. Laughter and chatter overtook our once quiet space, and girls drinking from red cups made themselves comfortable on my bed—where I’d been laying.

  “Why aren’t you dressed?” Valerie’s roommate Tina asked me.

  I leaned against my desk. “I’m staying in tonight.”

  “Why?” another girl asked as if I’d lost my mind.

  Valerie leaned against the desk beside me. “Please come.”

  “I’m just not feeling it. Next time.”

  Her lips twisted regrettably. I was starting to see she liked having me around. I’d become a sort of buffer between her and the others. “Text if you change your mind.”

  I nodded, feeling guilty for not being there for her.

  Within minutes, the girls were up and heading out. Valerie looked over her shoulder. “You sure?”

  I nodded. “Have fun.”

  Once the room had emptied out and silence filled the small space again, I switched on the television and chose a movie to stream. I climbed under my blankets and settled in, watching my movie in peace. Once it ended, I contemplated beginning a new one.

  My phone pinged beside me, pulling my attention to it. I grabbed it and checked the screen. It came from an unknown caller. Didn’t take you for someone who followed orders.

  I typed a reply. Who is this?

  The text appeared almost immediately. How many people give you orders?

  My heart rate quickened. I knew there was only one person who’d send that text. And by now, he would’ve realized I followed that order and hadn’t shown up with the others. I stared at my screen, waiting for another text. But another one didn’t come.

  What had his text meant? Was he challenging me? Taunting me? Laughing at me?

  For a minute, I considered going to the party. But as much as staying away from Kappa Sigma had given Chase what he wanted, showing up would’ve been doing the same. He was making this a challenge. He was testing me. But why?

  And, why had he followed me home from the library? Was he really just worried about my safety?

  I checked the time. Eleven-fifteen.

  Hmmm.

  I rolled off my bed and moved to my closet, looking for something to wear—if I decided to go.

  I could just show my face, check on Valerie, then get the hell out to prove I did what I wanted? Or, I could just stay home and forget the text ever came.

  Dammit.

  I grabbed a pair of jeans from the stack on the top shelf of the closet and a sleeveless black shirt with sparkles along the bottom and pulled them on. For someone who didn’t want me walking on campus alone, he had to know he was forcing my hand and making me do it.

  After pulling my hair up into a high ponytail, I stepped outside. For a Saturday night, campus was dead. I looked around, knowing I was about to do something incredibly stupid.

  A car idled by the curb with a man in the driver’s seat. “Sophia?” he called through the open passenger window.

  You’ve got to be kidding me.

  I ducked my head to speak to him. “Who’s asking?”

  “Your Uber driver.”

  “I didn’t order an Uber,” I challenged.

  “Your friend did.”

  My friend? Right. “Where are you supposed to take me?”

  “Kappa Sigma.”

  I scoffed. “Of course you are.”

  Was this his idea of an olive branch? Or, was I just that predictable?

  I pulled the door open and slipped into the backseat of the car, cursing every move I made. As we drove, I stared out the window at the deserted campus, wondering why I was doing this. Was I proving I didn’t take orders? Or was I doing the complete opposite and proving I did?

  The car stopped in front of Kappa Sigma a few minutes later. Light poured out of the windows. I pushed open the car door and stepped out, glancing back at my driver. “Thanks.”

  I made my way up the sidewalk to the pounding of bass beneath my feet, hating every step I took. I steered clear of stupidity. So why was I there?

  I climbed the front
steps and paused. I didn’t need to do this. I had nothing to prove.

  I turned back around.

  “Where are you going?” a deep voice asked.

  I inhaled sharply. My eyes shifted to the side of the front porch where the voice had come from. Ryan sat there, his phone in his hand. A relieved breath rushed out of me. “You scared me.”

  He laughed. “Sorry. You just looked unsure if you wanted to go in or leave.”

  I walked over and sat beside him on a glider chair. “Why are you all alone out here?”

  He shrugged. “Sometimes it gets to be too much in there.”

  “I bet.”

  We sat in silence for a long time. Crickets chirped in the dark and a passing car sped by.

  “Thanks for making me feel welcome last time I was here,” I said.

  “I could tell you were uncomfortable.” He looked to me and grinned. “And it was clear you weren’t like the Alpha Phis. They can be a little…”

  “Extra?”

  He chuckled. “Intimidating.”

  I shrugged. “I think they’re all just trying to figure out where they fit in. Isn’t that what we’re all just trying to do, really?”

  He thought about it for a minute, then nodded. “I think you’re right.”

  I bumped him with my shoulder. “I’m always right. You best remember that.”

  He laughed as he pushed himself to his feet. He turned to me and extended his hand. “Come on, Maine. Let’s go fit in.”

  I smiled as I grabbed hold of his hand and walked inside the crowded house. Music echoed from below as we made our way through the packed hallway toward the basement door. He didn’t release my hand as he led me downstairs. We stopped on the second to last step, taking in the dance floor. Bodies jumped around to the party anthem pounding through the big speakers on the bar. I spotted Valerie, who waved excitedly, clearly happy I’d changed my mind. If only she knew why.

  The dance music suddenly switched to a slow song. Those without partners abandoned the dance floor and moved to the side of the room. As the floor cleared leaving only couples, my eyes collided with Chase’s. He swayed with Chantel, but his blue eyes were locked on mine. It was uncomfortable to maintain eye contact with someone for such a long time. But, I wouldn’t look away. He’d gone to great lengths to get me there. Not only did I want to know why, I wanted to see what he planned to do.

  “Come on,” Ryan said, pulling me onto the dance floor, still holding my hand.

  Chase’s eyes dropped to our hands, watching us as we moved to the opposite side of the dance floor.

  Ryan turned to me and pulled me in to him. “See, Maine? We’re fitting in.”

  I draped my arms over Ryan’s shoulders and only then did I pull my attention from Chase. My mind whirled and my heart did crazy flips inside my chest. It was completely irrational to feel this way. I knew that. But I couldn’t control it. Once Ryan turned us half a rotation, I could see across the room and Chase’s eyes were again locked on mine.

  My stomach dipped in a way I hated. Chase’s gaze elicited so many unwanted feelings. There was something to be said for having a staring contest with a hot guy who seemed hell bent on proving he was tougher than me. I just wished his eyes weren’t so damn hypnotic.

  Then, as if it were happening in slow motion, he broke eye contact. He lifted his hands and cupped Chantel’s cheeks. He leaned in and kissed her—all lips and tongue—for the entire room to see.

  I heard distant catcalls. People around them smiled. And a guy yelled, “Get a room.”

  My stomach roiled, embarrassment grasping hold of my body. I’d been played. I’d walked right into the lion’s den.

  Dammit.

  I tore my attention away from the uncomfortable scene, cursing my own stupidity. What the hell was I doing there? I walked right into his screwed-up world, and I wanted no part of it. I stepped away from Ryan. “Thanks for the dance, but I’ve gotta go.”

  Without giving him a chance to respond, I ducked through the people surrounding the dance floor, climbed the stairs, and rushed through the crowded hallway. Once I stepped outside, I inhaled deeply, hating myself for even showing up.

  I knew better.

  I looked out at the road, noticing my Uber still sitting at the curb.

  What the hell?

  I walked over to it, ducking my head once again to speak to the driver through the open window. “Why are you still here?”

  “I was told to wait.”

  I closed my eyes and a humorless laugh cut out of me like a shard of broken glass.

  Mission accomplished.

  As much as I prided myself on being a strong independent woman, in that moment, I was nothing but a fool.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  I was watching football and doing homework Sunday night when I heard the click of my door unlocking.

  Chantel walked in wearing what appeared to be a guy’s shirt, since it hung to her knees, and the jeans she’d worn to the party last night. I wondered if Chase had kept her with him to drive the point home that they were together, and I’d been a toy used solely for his amusement.

  “Hi,” she said, as she entered the room and went right to her dresser to grab clothes. “Heard you stopped by the party last night.”

  My stomach dropped. “Oh, I—”

  “Ryan said you didn’t stay long.”

  I released a quiet breath. “Yeah. I wasn’t feeling too good.”

  She nodded as she moved to the closet and picked up her toiletries. “Are you feeling better now?”

  I nodded, pretending to write something important in my notebook so she’d stop asking questions.

  She took the hint and moved to the door. “I’m going to shower.”

  Once she stepped into the hallway, I released another breath. Why did I feel so guilty? I hadn’t done anything wrong. Her hook-up buddy had reached out to me. He’d gone out of his way to get me to his party. Gone out of his way to prove to me that he and Chantel were solid.

  I turned off the television, put my books away, set the alarm on my phone, and settled into bed, hoping to be asleep by the time Chantel returned.

  I heard the door unlock a little while later, opening and closing quietly.

  “Sophia?” Chantel whispered.

  I contemplated answering, but my guilt and embarrassment over the previous night, wouldn’t allow it.

  “Stay away from Chase,” she whispered.

  I pinched my eyes together tightly, wishing I could crawl into a hole and disappear in that moment.

  “He doesn’t want you.”

  The door opened and closed again, and silence filled the room.

  Had she left?

  Did she just want me to think she’d left?

  I didn’t dare move. Didn’t dare speak.

  Why did she think I wanted Chase?

  Had he said something?

  Had she actually seen me there and my reaction to their PDA?

  Oh, hell.

  ***

  I awoke to the sound of my alarm the next morning. I silenced it and glanced to Chantel’s side of the room, relieved to see that her bed was still made. I hopped out of bed, pulled on jeans and a vintage Nirvana T-shirt, grabbed my backpack, and ducked out of my room. My relief would undoubtedly be short-lived since Chase was in my first class.

  I grabbed a coffee on my way to class, needing the caffeine more than I realized, and trekked toward the history building. Of course, I arrived before most, taking my seat in the back.

  I sensed Chase before I heard him. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as he slipped into the seat beside me. My body tensed, but there was no way in hell I’d let him see that he fazed me.

  “Have fun Saturday night?” he asked.

  Instead of meeting his gaze, I reached into my bag and pulled out my laptop. “Nope. It was pretty uneventful.”

  He scoffed. “I think your roommate would disagree.”

  Inwardly, I groaned, the vision of the two of
them turning my stomach as it had that night.

  “You into Ryan?” he asked.

  Slowly, I swung my head toward him. “Are we seriously going to do this right now?”

  “Do what?”

  My eyes narrowed, ready to tell him what I thought of his little stunt Saturday night.

  “Mr. Reed and Ms. Galloway,” Professor Irons called as he stepped into the classroom, dropping his briefcase loudly onto the front desk.

  Our attention shot to him.

  “I’ve yet to receive your paper. Was there a problem meeting?”

  I felt the color drain from my face and Chase’s steely gaze move to me. “I submitted it through the portal last Sunday.”

  Professor Irons typed into his computer, staring intently into the screen. “It’s not here.”

  “You said you knew how to do it,” Chase gritted out beside me.

  I glared at him. “I do.” I opened the folder on my computer where the essay was saved and shared it once again through the portal. “I just sent it again,” I explained to the professor as I waited with baited breath.

  “Got it,” he said, before glancing up at us. “But I’m deducting credit since it’s late.”

  “What the fuck,” Chase muttered.

  “Professor, I can show you the time of our last edit. I’m new to Crestwood. I thought I knew how to use the portal, but I guess I missed a step.”

  “Sorry, Ms. Galloway. Deadlines are deadlines.”

  The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach grew as I sat there stewing. I knew how to use the portal. I knew how to upload a God damned paper. And I did upload it. What the hell happened?

  After a painstakingly long discussion on the historical accuracy of the roaring ’20s as depicted in film—not to mention attempting to avoid Chase’s angry stare for an hour straight, Professor Irons dismissed us.

  I packed my notebook and laptop into my bag and, without giving Chase a chance to ream me out, I hurried out of class. Once outside and moving further away from the history building, I expected the pit in my stomach to dissipate, but if anything, it grew.

  Things were spiraling out of my control. I thought moving back to Texas would change things for me. I just hadn’t thought they’d change for the worse.

  “Sophia!”