Love or Money?

by Carrie Stone

  “Ouch” she joked in an equally light and sarcastic tone. “Nice to know that’s how you view me. And there I was thinking you were a really lovely, decent guy.”

  She crumpled her empty fruit container and snatched his from his hands, excusing herself to go to the nearby bin. Her eyes flittered ever so briefly across his face and she was pleased to see she’d hit a nerve. He looked taken aback.

  Furious with herself for thinking that their friendship could possibly be more, she walked across to the bin and deposited the cartons inside. Taking a moment to calm herself, she turned and strolled back to the bench where Owen was now sitting with his sleeves rolled up and arms outstretched across the back ledge.

  “I thought you’d gone off in a strop” he said with a grin, refusing to move his arms as she sat her back down next to him.

  “Of course not.”

  “So does that mean you’ll be coming to Cairns with me or not? Only I’d like to know either way so I can finalise accommodation.” He looked sideways at her, his expression serious.

  Her stomach did a flip. He wanted her with him. Accommodation? Did that mean he was inviting her to stay with him? She suppressed a nervous giggle.

  “Ok, I’ll come to Cairns. Where do you suggest I stay?” she asked pointedly, feeling daring now that the subject had been raised.

  Owen smirked and she knew full well that he’d immediately cottoned on to her intentions. She felt her face burn with embarrassment. He had a way of making her feel vulnerable and exposed. It wasn’t a welcome feeling. She was used to being the one in control with most of the men that she came across.

  “Well, I have found a small one bedroom apartment for myself. It’s pretty basic but suits me. You’re welcome to the sofa until you find something. If you want to stay longer term, I’m sure we can come to some arrangement.”

  Felicity squirmed, noting Owen’s satisfied expression. She knew he was enjoying her agonizing dilemma. Tempted to refuse his offer outright, she forcibly stopped herself. Although he wasn’t opening up to her with his true intentions, he had ever so gently steered the conversation to her accompanying him to Cairns more than once. He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t want her with him, would he? She would be cutting off her own nose to spite her face by refusing him. Ultimately, he was part of the reason she was looking forward to staying in Australia.

  “Fine” she replied, casually picking at a non-existent crumb on her shorts. “I’ll take you up on that. Just until I find something suitable of my own.”

  Owen smiled and raised his eyebrow. “Looks like that is settled then. We had better get your flight ticket booked to coincide with mine. I’m assuming you’ll need someone to help you with your bags.”

  Felicity grinned and hit him playfully on the head with her purse. “Of course. You can be my Sherpa.”

  Both laughing, they stood up. Felicity tried not to act surprised when Owen slipped his hand into hers. Instead, she carried on acting natural and suppressed the strong urge to lean in and kiss him. It seemed her intuition hadn’t been wrong after all.

  The sonographer generously applied gel to Zara’s bump and moved the monitor closer to the bed. Steve squeezed Zara’s hand tightly as she tried to calm her nerves. She’d been through enough ultrasounds to know what to expect, but she couldn’t help feeling anxious. Her baby’s wellbeing was her priority.

  “Ok, so let’s see how the baby is doing today.” The sonographer gently placed the probe against the lower part of Zara’s abdomen and the screen was filled with a distinguishable image of a baby.

  “Here we can see the head” he said pointing to the screen. “And the arms and legs can clearly be made out here.” He gestured to the baby’s limbs moving slowly on the screen.

  Moving the probe around, the sonographer flicked a switch on the keyboard and the sound of a loud heart beating immediately filled the room.

  “As you can hear, a good healthy heartbeat.” He flicked the switch off again and continued with his assessment. After a few more explanations he concluded the examination. “The baby looks a good size and all appears to be as it should.”

  “Can we find out the sex today?” Zara asked eagerly, avoiding Steve’s glare.

  “Zara, I thought we agreed at the previous scan not to find out?”

  Ignoring him, Zara kept her focus on the sonographer who looked a little uncomfortable given the circumstances. “It does say on your notes here that you didn’t want to know the sex of the baby, which is why I didn’t reference it. However the sex is evident from the scan, if you would like to know.”

  “No, we wouldn’t.”

  “Yes, we would” Zara cut in sharply, silencing her husband. Steve shook his head in disgust and excusing himself, left the room, slamming the door behind him. Zara tried not to let it affect her.

  “Please just tell me what I’m having?”

  The sonographer smiled kindly. Undoubtedly he often found himself in the exact same situation with other parents-to-be.

  “It’s a boy.”

  Getting herself off the bed and re-arranging her top, Zara dreaded facing her husband. She hadn’t planned on finding out the sex of the baby but given the circumstances, she felt it necessary. She looked down at the profile picture the sonographer had printed her and felt her heart swell. A little boy.

  Steve was waiting in the hospital corridor and she could see the fury etched across his face before he’d even noticed her. Bracing herself for yet another argument she put her hand protectively against her bump.

  He spotted her and walked off ahead. She felt relieved. It was unusual for him to be confrontational and if he’d chosen to walk ahead, it meant he was taking yet another stand of silence against her. She waddled along slowly, purposely giving him time to cool down.

  She had felt better since her discussion with Glenda the previous week. It had helped to get her fears and worries off her chest. Hearing Glenda’s reasoning had made her wonder if her suspicions had been unfounded. She’d decided to give her marriage and Steve the benefit of the doubt. The ‘Catherine’ mystery had been locked safely away in the back of her mind. It wasn’t something she had the energy or strength to deal with, at least until after the baby was born if the situation hadn’t changed.

  Coincidentally, Steve had returned home from work that same evening with a large bunch of flowers and an apology. After a long and honest discussion they had concluded that they were both partly at fault for being negligent of one another’s needs. The way her husband had held her that night had reaffirmed every reason she’d thought of for saving her marriage. He was the only man she’d ever wanted. The only man who knew her inside and out. He wouldn’t let her down again.

  That was until she’d found the train ticket in his trouser pocket that morning. Trying not to let her imagination run wild again, she took a deep breath and thought instead of her baby boy. She’d always liked the name Christian. Perhaps that would be a good option.

  “I’ll drop you home and then I’m going straight back to work.” Steve said, voice calm but cool. Zara had finally reached the car and he unlocked the doors enabling them to get in. Avoiding looking at him, she got into the front passenger seat.

  “Ok.”

  Putting the car into reverse gear, Zara noted his knuckles whitening as he very tightly gripped the gear stick.

  “So are you going to tell me what we are having? Or are you going to continue behaving selfishly.”

  Fighting an urge to scream at him, Zara kept her cool. “It’s a boy.”

  She noticed Steve’s grip loosen on the stick. “A boy.” His voice sounded soft. Emotional even.

  “Yes, we’re having a little boy.”

  Without speaking, he found her hand in her lap and squeezed it. “I’m sorry for going off in there at you Zara. It’s just the stress of everything. Let’s go home and tell the girls they’ve got a brother to look forward to.”

  Zara put her other hand over his and squeezed tightly. She was so
tired of the uncertainty and the stress. She just wanted her Steve back. There was most likely a reasonable explanation for the train ticket. She was just over-reacting. It was to be expected, she was seven months pregnant and her hormones were making her unbalanced and emotional. But she had to get a grip.

  She needn’t have worried about finding out the sex of the baby because she wasn’t going to be a single mother. It wasn’t imperative that she pre-bought the correct gender baby bits because she had a husband who would help provide for her financially. She needed to believe in her marriage. She needed to start trusting Steve again.

  “Oh mate, have you seen the new bird that serves behind the bar in the Duck and Dog? Stunner. Big tits and tight arse. I’d have a go at her given the chance.” Andy took a long slug of his beer, nearly emptying his pint glass.

  Dan finished the last of his own pint and wiped his mouth appreciatively. “I’ll have to get down there this week and have a look. It’s been a while since I’ve drank in the Dog actually.”

  “Stacey got you under the thumb already?” Andy laughed, holding up his empty pint glass and catching the eye of the busty barmaid. “Same again, babe.” He signalled to Dan’s glass also.

  “Funny you say that. She’s been ok this past couple of weeks. She’s beginning to know her place.” Dan winked confidently.

  The barmaid set down two overflowing pints in front of the men, the beer splashing against the sticky bar top.

  “Thanks, Bertha” Dan said, eyeing her voluptuous behind as she sauntered away.

  “I swear her arse is getting bigger every time I see it” Andy said, nodding in Bertha’s direction and picking up a handful of salted peanuts.

  “I heard Micky had her last weekend.”

  Andy raised his eyebrow. “Really? I wouldn’t have thought Bertha would have given Micky a second look. Fair play to him.” He took another handful of nuts, crunching loudly. “So how’s the engagement? She still giving it up three times a day?”

  Dan chuckled. “It’s going so well I’m wondering why I didn’t cotton on to this engagement lark sooner. She’s like a dog on heat. All I have to do is mention something about the wedding and she’s like putty. I can’t thank you enough mate. Sound advice getting engaged.”

  Dan looked up toward the sports screen and checked out the rugby score. He wasn’t comfortable discussing Stacey further. He was aware that Andy’s new girlfriend had become friendly with her of late. Andy wasn’t known for his tact at the best of times. He didn’t want the wrong thing getting back and causing trouble between them. He was enjoying his new set-up.

  It helped that Stacey had started her own creative nails business. She was already taking on a list of clients and it meant she was less clingy. He was beginning to enjoy coming home to a quieter household. The extra income helped too. She’d already treated them to an upgraded surround sound HD television.

  His mobile rang. Taking it out of his pocket, he looked at the caller display and Stacey’s photo flashed at him.

  “It’s the wifey.” Andy chuckled. “Better answer it if you know what’s best for you.”

  Pressing the ignore key, Dan turned the phone face down. She would have to wait. He had more important things to do. He picked up his remaining half pint and downed it in one.

  “Got to be off mate. Got an important meeting.”

  Andy nodded. “Ok, buddy. I’ll catch up with you in a few days and we’ll have a swift one in the Dog and Duck?”

  “Sounds a plan.” Picking up his jacket and mobile, Dan patted Andy on the shoulder and made his way out of the pub and towards his car. He checked his watch, ensuring he wasn’t going to be late.

  “Should make it there on time” he muttered to himself with a smile.

  It had been an unexpected message, but a welcomed one, especially after he hadn’t heard from her in weeks. Still, he wasn’t one to pass up an opportunity. Sylvia had obviously missed him.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “But why is that so extraordinary?” Owen asked, popping his head through the kitchen hatch. “I mean, it’s a great gesture but from what you’ve said he can certainly afford it.” He disappeared again from view.

  Felicity picked up her laptop and walked across the living room to the kitchen hatch.

  “No, I wasn’t referring to the money. Of course he can afford to donate thousands to charity. It’s the fact he’s donating to a charity in the first place. This is a man who has always said that charity begins at home and ends in Prada.” She scanned the email from Maurice once again, shaking her head in bewilderment.

  Owen laughed. “Sounds a lovely boss you’ve got yourself there. How do you put up with working for someone like that?”

  “He’s not all bad. A bit selfish but his heart is in the right place. Otherwise he wouldn’t have donated to the children’s hospice would he.”

  Felicity looked on as Owen picked up an onion from the vegetable tray and began chopping. “Must have changed him – getting cancer. Perhaps he’s realised it’s not all about money.”

  “I guess so. He’s also written here that he’s going to donate a large sum to Cancer Research and he’s thinking about taking a trip with his wife to visit her family.”

  Owen retrieved a frying pan from the sink and added a small amount of olive oil. “I thought you said he doesn’t have much of a relationship with his wife?”

  “No he doesn’t, which is why that’s so odd. He once told me he would have preferred it if she was an orphan, then he wouldn’t have had to suffer the annual family dinner.”

  Owen looked up, shocked and disgusted. “Seriously? Fee, I can’t believe you have been singing this man’s praises. Quite frankly he sounds a bastard. How can you listen to comments like that?”

  Felicity kept quiet. It was the first time she’d spoken openly and honestly of Maurice to someone close to her. Hearing herself repeat his views aloud, she was disturbed to find that they weren’t as amusing and blasé as she’d always assumed. She felt embarrassed.

  “How much chilli can you handle?” Owen asked, changing the subject. He picked up a fresh red chilli and with great concentration, set about deseeding it.

  “Not as hot as the last time. You nearly blew my head off.” Felicity closed her laptop. She would reply to Maurice later. It was reassuring to hear that he was embracing his situation and that the office was still running efficiently. Yet it was also a little disheartening to realise that she wasn’t sorely missed. She felt a little bereft.

  “You ok?”

  Felicity stopped staring into space and looked at Owen. “Yes fine. Just thinking about work.” She got up and walked into the kitchen to join him.

  “What about work? I thought you were enjoying your freedom from the corporate world?”

  She leaned against the counter top, watching as Owen stirred the frying vegetables. “Yes I am. The last three weeks here have been great. I love it here in Cairns, I really do. But I just feel a bit… I don’t know…” She looked down at the floor, unable to find the right words to express herself.

  “You do know. You’re just reluctant to say whatever it is.”

  Ignoring him, she continued staring at the food. He was right, she did know what the problem was, but it wasn’t anything she could fix. And it certainly wasn’t anything she could share with him.

  She was in love. There was no mistaking it. She was in love with Owen.

  It had come as a big surprise to find herself falling for him, there wasn’t anything about him that she would have set out looking for in a man, apart from his sense of self-assurance. Yet, there was no denying it. Since moving to Cairns together, she had found herself developing stronger feelings by the day. It was the little things that made the biggest impact. The way he always wanted to know about her day and was interested to hear every detail. The way he would always find the time to meet her for lunch despite being busy with his butterfly project. Especially the way he would try to help her work through her dilemmas. And then
the evenings, cozied up next to one another on the sofa. He possessed her every thought. She wanted nothing more than to spend every moment with him.

  She knew he genuinely cared about her. And that was where the problem lay. He genuinely cared about her… as a friend. After leaving Brisbane, she’d been sure that moving into the one bedroom house he’d found was a natural progression for things developing in a more physical way between them. She hadn’t bargained on him making up the sofa bed for her. Thinking that he didn’t want to take advantage, she’d gone along with the role play of ‘friends’ but three weeks later and it was wearing a little thin. She had to face the harsh reality that Owen saw her as no more than a good friend. The thought was making her feel sick and miserable, she could no longer imagine her life without him in it. Aidan’s name kept popping into her head, taunting her. Was this how he had felt?

  “Well?” Owen turned off the frying pan and faced Felicity.

  She shifted uncomfortably. His expression was so intense it was unnerving. “Well what?”

  “How do you really feel at the moment, Fee? You’re holding back on saying it, I can tell.” He gazed at her knowingly and she felt her stomach flip. It would be so easy to say the words and wait for his reaction but she daren’t. She had never found herself in this situation. Owen hadn’t given her any signal or small sign that he wanted her as more than a friend. She couldn’t possibly tell him she was developing feelings. Or could she?

  “I’m thinking of leaving Australia.” She’d been toying with the thought for the past two days, but saying the words aloud filled her with relief. She couldn’t go on living in a compromising situation, silently falling in love with a man that didn’t want her. It would destroy her.

  Owen looked taken aback. “Crikey. Well I wasn’t expecting that.”

  ‘I know it’s a little out of the blue. I just don’t see what is here in Australia for me.’ Felicity replied in honesty, noticing Owen’s crestfallen expression. “I have really loved being with you the last few weeks but my life is in the UK and I feel it’s time to go home.” She looked into his eyes, hoping to see something that might give her a reason to stay.