To Love Again: A Sweet Romance (Forty and Free Book 1)

by Lillianna Blake

  Her chest ached with the knowledge that she’d done that to him. In that moment, she made her decision.

  She paused in front of the desk. Tony was with someone, but as soon as he was done he turned to her.

  “Ah, Nicole, I’m sorry to see that you want to check out.”

  “Actually, I changed my mind.” She cringed. “Is that too much trouble?”

  “No, not at all.” Tony looked over the top of the computer at her. “As long as you’re staying, would you like to peruse our available singles?”

  “Yes. I would.”

  Tony smiled as he handed her the tablet.

  She tried to hide the subtle shake in her hand by putting it down on the counter. As she looked at the smiling faces on the screen before her, there was only one thought on her mind. None of these men were Gavin.

  “How about this man?” She pointed at a man with slicked-back hair and a half-smile. He struck her as a little arrogant, but he was just going to be a distraction from Gavin.

  “Oh, Scott? Uh, well”—Tony scrunched up his nose—“He’s a little gruff. Are you sure that’s what you’d like to experience?”

  “Maybe you should choose.”

  “I thought you’d never ask.” A sound came out of him that made her look twice.

  “Did you just squeal?”

  “Possibly.” He cleared his throat. “Let’s see if we can’t find you the perfect gentleman.” He skimmed through the images, then settled on one. “Oh yes, definitely Kyle. He’s the strong silent type, so you might need to hold up the conversation at first, but there’s a lot of substance to him.”

  “You know him well?”

  “He’s been here a few times. Would you like me to send him an invite for a date with you tonight?”

  “Yes, let’s do it.”

  “Great. So I just sent it, and I’ll text you when I have an answer.”

  “Oh. So he sees my picture. Is that how it works?”

  “Yes.”

  Nicole shifted from one foot to the other. She wasn’t sure if she’d made a good choice. But the invitation was already sent. As she turned around to walk toward her room, she tried to get excited about the prospect of another man, but instead, her thoughts kept turning toward Gavin.

  When she neared her room, her breath caught in her throat.

  Gavin leaned against the door of his room.

  She froze and thought about turning around to flee in the other direction, but it was too late.

  He turned and looked over at her. “Nicole, I’m glad I caught you.”

  “You are?” She dared to hope for a chance to talk to him about everything that had happened.

  “Sure. I hoped that you weren’t leaving. I mean, that what happened last night didn’t make you want to go home.”

  “No. I was going to, but then—” She started to explain, but he interrupted her before she could.

  “—Great. I think we need to talk. Tonight?”

  Her heart skipped. This was it, her opportunity to explain everything.

  Before she could open her mouth, her phone signaled that she’d received an incoming message from the resort’s special app. She wanted to ignore it, but it kept beeping. She quickly glanced down in order to hit the button saying that she’d received the confirmation that Kyle had accepted her invitation.

  “What’s that?” Gavin glanced at the picture on the screen of her phone.

  She turned the screen away before he could see the full image, then instantly regretted it. He wanted her to be honest, and yet again, she was hiding things from him.

  “It’s a message about a meeting I have tonight.”

  “A meeting? For work?” He raised an eyebrow. “I thought you weren’t working on this vacation.”

  “Uh, it’s not a meeting for work.”

  “Then what is it?” He studied her.

  She wished she could run and hide, but she was determined not to lie to him again. She owed him at least that.

  “It’s a date.”

  His jaw rippled. “With who?”

  “Gavin, I just did it on a whim. I can cancel. I’d much rather talk to you.”

  “No.” He narrowed his eyes. “No, that’s fine. I get the message loud and clear.”

  “Wait, you don’t understand.”

  “Right. So, I don’t understand when you lie to me about kids, or when you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re already looking for another date. I thought—you know, I don’t know what I thought, but I don’t care any more. Enjoy your night.” He thrust open his door and disappeared inside.

  Chapter 33

  Nicole tried to get to the door before it closed, but Gavin had already slammed it shut. She heard the lock turn.

  “Gavin.” She sighed and brushed her fingers across the door, but she didn’t dare knock. Yet again, she’d managed to make a mess of things. She tried to ignore it, but the frustration burned inside her. Why had she agreed to go on the stupid date? She didn’t even care about it.

  She closed herself in her room and buried her face in her pillow. If this was what dating was—what being in love was—then she didn’t have the patience for it.

  She wanted to march into Gavin’s room and make him listen to her, but her gut told her that he wouldn’t respond well to that. Instead, she grabbed the book she’d brought with her. She immersed herself in a few chapters and tried to forget all about her real life drama. But every word she read seemed to lead her mind right back to Gavin.

  Finally, when she couldn’t stand it any longer, she left her room and marched over to Gavin’s door. She drew a deep breath and knocked three times. She waited as people walked past her down the hallway. After a few minutes, she didn’t think that he was going to answer. Still, she mustered up enough bravery to knock again. When she was met again with silence, she admitted defeat.

  Nicole returned to her room and ordered lunch sent to her. She didn’t want to run into Gavin by accident. In fact, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to see him again at all, not if he wasn’t going to give her a chance to explain.

  After she’d eaten, she immersed herself in her book again, desperately trying to take her mind off Gavin. She didn’t surface until a notification on her phone reminded her that she’d committed to the date with Kyle. She considered canceling it, but Tony had gone to so much effort to choose him for her. She didn’t want to hurt anyone else.

  She chose a champagne-colored slip dress from her closet. She had brought it with her on a whim, even though she thought it would be too fancy for her solo vacation. As she modeled it in front of the mirror, she saw an old woman before her. She saw wrinkles and sagging. She saw weathered skin and dull dry hair. She didn’t look anything like the woman she was when she’d met her ex, Jake. Was that all that he’d ever loved about her? Her youth?

  She tried to style her hair in a way that would distract from the lines beside her eyes, but in the end she just let it fall back to her shoulders. What was the point? There was no turning back time.

  Yet Gavin had looked at her as if she was a goddess. He’d kissed her as if she was the most enticing woman on earth. The thought of him caused her eyes to mist.

  She blinked back her tears and opened her door. A man stood with his back to her. For a moment she thought it might be Gavin, but he was much slimmer and a bit shorter.

  When he turned to face her, he smiled. “Oh, sorry. I was just about to knock. Hi, I’m Kyle.”

  “Kyle, I’m Nicole.” She offered her hand to him.

  He took it and drew it to his lips for a quick kiss.

  She shivered at the contact, not because she liked it, but because it reminded her that he wasn’t Gavin.

  Her heart ached with the thought of what he might be doing in that moment. But that was all the more reason to stay focused on Kyle. Gavin wasn’t going to forgive her, and she needed to move on from the hope that he would.

  “Nicole, I’m looking forward to our dinner tonight. I thought maybe we’
d stay here in the restaurant, if that’s okay with you? Then if we feel like it, we can hit the dance floor after, if it’s not too cold.”

  “Yes, that’s fine. The food here is wonderful.”

  “It’s okay.” He shrugged. “It’s not the best I’ve ever had, but I guess you can’t expect five-star meals at a resort.”

  “Maybe. I guess I’m not used to fancy food, so it tastes great to me.” She laughed lightly.

  “Why don’t we take a walk through the garden before we eat?”

  “That sounds perfect. It’s much warmer out tonight than it was last night.”

  Nicole really did her best to admire Kyle. He was handsome in a classic way, with an amiable personality. But there was no spark between them. Nothing like the wildfire that ignited every time she’d looked at—or even thought of—Gavin.

  Kyle slid his arm through hers.

  She awkwardly allowed it.

  He led her out to the garden, where other couples strolled as well.

  She wanted to find it beautiful, but every leaf, every blossom, reminded her of her walks with Gavin. She barely heard a word that Kyle spoke.

  When they returned to the entrance of the garden, she bumped into the arm of someone. She drew back and looked up in the same moment that she muttered an apology.

  “Sorry.”

  Gavin stared back into her eyes. “Watch it, you could hurt someone.”

  After a moment of shock, she managed to recover. “Gavin, what are you doing here?”

  “Same as you. I’m on a date.”

  Only then did she notice the beautiful woman on his arm. She was everything that Nicole hadn’t seen in the mirror earlier, yet Gavin’s eyes seemed intent on looking into her own. Her heart beat faster. Or was it just her imagination playing tricks on her now?

  “Oh.” She finally managed to utter something in response to Gavin’s comment about being on a date.

  “We should go. Our reservation time is coming up.” Kyle steered Nicole back through the entrance to the garden and she forced herself not to look back.

  Chapter 34

  It took all of Gavin’s willpower to let Nicole walk away. He wanted to knock out the guy she was with and toss her over his shoulder caveman style, but he knew that he had to remain in control. He had to make her think he was just fine. At least, that’s what he thought he had to do. He really had no idea what would be best. But he knew he couldn’t just drag her away from her date.

  Instead, he tightened his grip on his date’s hand.

  “Ow! Cut it out.” She elbowed him in the side.

  “Sorry.”

  “Is that her?” She smirked.

  “Yes.” He looked over at his date, his gaze hard and his voice stern. “Don’t give me away.”

  “Oh, I won’t, honey. I just think it’s funny that you have me on your arm, and all you can do is look at her.”

  “I told you what this was about before you agreed to the date.” He looked over at her for a moment. It was easy to see her beauty, but he barely noticed it. Beauty meant nothing to him, if it didn’t have meaning behind it. “Any man would be lucky to have you, but that woman is the only woman that makes me feel like I’ve won the lottery.”

  “Aw, sweet.” She giggled. “Maybe we should give her a show, hm?” She leaned close in an attempt to kiss him.

  He turned away before she could. “We should get to our table.”

  “Oh sure, wouldn’t want her to be alone with that Ken doll for too long.” She giggled again.

  He looked over at her. She giggled more than any grown woman he’d ever known. Maybe it was endearing to some, but he found it a little unsettling.

  “I appreciate you doing this.”

  “No problem. I really only come to these things for the free food.”

  When they entered the dining room, Gavin spotted Nicole right away. There was an empty table right next to hers. He led his date toward it.

  Nicole looked up at him as he approached.

  He willed himself not to say a word. He wanted to prove a point—that he could move on just as easily as she could. Even if it was the furthest thing from the truth.

  The hostess walked over to them. “Do you have a reservation?”

  “Yes, and we’d like to sit right here.” Gavin crossed his arms as he lingered beside Nicole’s chair.

  He refused to look at her, though it took physical strength not to. His mind fluttered with emotion. It didn’t allow him to form a clear thought. Was this a good decision? He had absolutely no idea.

  “Okay, here you are.” The hostess placed the menus on the table and stepped aside.

  Gavin started to sit down in his chair, then noticed that the leggy redhead whose name he couldn’t remember still stood beside her own chair. He narrowed his eyes as he realized that he’d forgotten to pull it out for her.

  Quickly he tugged it out and the woman took an infuriatingly long time to sit down. It was as if she wanted to display her legs for as long as possible. When she finally sat, he gave her chair a light shove, then walked back to his own. Only then did he steal a glance at Nicole.

  She was staring down at her plate of food, her cheeks crimson.

  A pang of guilt made his mouth grow dry. He’d made her uncomfortable. That made him uncomfortable. But he had no idea what else he could do.

  While his date perused the menu, he could barely look at his. He pretended to, but he was watching Nicole and the man across from her very closely. He noticed right away that the man was very handsy. He constantly held her hand, or reached out to touch her cheek.

  Nicole seemed to be shifting in her chair in an attempt to evade most of his touches, and Gavin guessed that she was too polite to say anything. The more he saw, the more aggravated he became.

  “Sir, what will your selection be tonight?” The waiter cleared his throat.

  Gavin realized that the waiter must have been standing there for some time.

  “Oh—uh, whatever the special is.”

  “Okay, coming right up.”

  As the waiter walked away, Gavin saw Nicole’s date lean forward as if he might kiss her. Nicole shied away. When she turned back for a sip of her drink, her date attempted again.

  Gavin’s blood boiled at the audacity of the man when Nicole was clearly not interested.

  “Enough!” He stood up from his chair so fast that it almost fell over. The people around him fell silent as they looked in his direction. “You need to back off!” He jabbed a finger in the man’s direction.

  “Gavin.” Nicole stared up at him.

  He saw from how wide her eyes grew that he’d gone too far. Everyone else in the restaurant seemed to share that idea. He received many glares and annoyed grunts. The lights above him spun and flashed as his mind tried to make sense of what had just happened.

  “This is too much.” He shook his head and stormed out of the dining room onto the deck. He slammed his hands against the railing as he realized that he’d made a complete fool of himself. The entire dining room had witnessed his loss of control.

  The more he thought about, the angrier he became. What right did she have to do this to him? He’d trusted her; that was his first mistake. He’d fallen in love with her; that was his second mistake. He had tried to find a way to get her back. Obviously that was not his best idea either.

  He gripped the railing so tight that the wood bit into his palms.

  Chapter 35

  Nicole sat back in her chair, still stunned by Gavin’s actions. It was not as if she couldn’t handle Kyle herself, but it seemed that Gavin couldn’t tolerate watching Kyle’s attempts at affection with her.

  Nicole was more confused than ever. Was Gavin really trying to move on, or was there still some hope for the connection that she felt so strongly between them? She couldn’t ignore the subtle thrill that rushed through her in response to his standing up for her.

  But when she saw him rush out the door, she knew in that moment that she’d pushed th
ings too far. Her heart ached with regret as the door slammed shut behind him. His heart was delicate, and instead of being careful with it, she’d ripped it to pieces.

  “Wow, that guy’s got some problems.” Kyle raised his eyebrows and picked up his glass of wine. “I wonder what got into him.”

  Nicole looked across the table at her date. She watched him gulp his wine.

  “I’m sorry, Kyle, this was a mistake. I have to go.”

  “Why?” His eyes widened as he looked at her.

  “Because the only man I want to be with just walked out that door. I’m sorry. Really, I am.”

  Nicole stood up from the table and started to walk toward the door, shaking her head as she heard Kyle asking Gavin’s date if he could join her for a drink. She smiled, despite her nerves. She didn’t need to worry about hurting Kyle’s feelings. She only wanted to focus on Gavin now.

  She pushed through the door of the restaurant and stepped out onto the deck. Her heart sank when she saw no sign of Gavin. It was too late. He’d already gone.

  But as she rounded the corner of the deck, she saw him. His thick frame leaned over the railing of the deck. His hands were splayed along the wooden surface. It looked to her as if every muscle in his body was rigid.

  For a moment she thought about not calling out to him. But the very thought made her eyes burn with tears. What could she say? What could she do to convince him to forgive her and give them the chance that they both deserved? She really believed that now.

  “Gavin.” She walked toward him in the same moment that he turned to see her and turn his back toward her again just as quickly.

  The pain she’d seen in his eyes during that quick instant felt like a punch in the gut.

  “I’m sorry.” She spoke quietly and his body remained tense. For a moment she thought he’d refuse to turn toward her. Maybe he would ignore her until she gave up and walked away. She crossed her arms and set her jaw. “I’m not going anywhere. I know that you still have feelings for me. We need to talk about this. We need to figure it out. Please. Just look at me. Gavin?” She stepped closer to him.