Heart Song

by Samantha LaFantasie

  ***

  I felt like I was in a dream. Weightless and floating in a black sea. I could hear things in the distance. Things that I couldn't make out completely but they were shouts of people. One voice stuck out to me. It was Marren. His voice, I heard the most. Shouting things I couldn't understand. He sounded pained? Angry? I couldn't tell. His voice was so far in the distance.

  I wanted to get closer to him. I needed to comfort him. To help him with what he needed.

  What was making him so upset?

  Something tugged at my memory, begging me to remember. Something that seemed like I should remember and know, but couldn't. Something important.

  “She's dying!” A loud voice echoed through my darkness.

  It caused my heart to palpitate. “Who's dying?” I asked.

  No response.

  “No!” Marren's voice echoed all around me.

  I knew then I had to remember. I had to find out what I’d forgotten. I had to find my way back to Marren.

  A pain seared through me, on the lower end of my abdomen. I placed my hand over the opened wound and held it up to my eyes. Blood. It was a familiar sight, and despite the lack of light I could see myself so clearly. So many times I had been graced with the sight of my own blood. So much of it had been spilled over my years. If it weren't for Danst...Wait. Danst...Danst is…dead.

  That realization sparked a small light in front of me. A tiny flame that flickered and moved within the shadows. I remembered Danst had died helping fight off Jiren's forces. Something else played out in my mind. The night he yelled at me. The night before he died.

  “I hate to break this to you but Jiren can't be killed in the way you are thinking.”

  “Oh yeah? How can I kill him then?” I asked, stepping up to Danst and looking deep into his eyes and waiting for him to answer. He avoided my gaze and turned to walk away. “Don't walk away from me, tell me!”

  “I can't.”

  “You can't or you won't?” I shouted.

  He turned around faster than I’d seen him move before with rage blazing brightly in his eyes. “Pick one, Relena! You'll stop at nothing and run over even your mate to get to Jiren and kill him. You won't think! At least about anyone but yourself. Go do yourself a favor and get some rest. And try not to get yourself and your baby killed.”

  Baby...? That was it. I was giving birth when something happened...

  The flame burned brighter and was getting larger. So much so that I could tell that instead of a flame flickering in the shadows, it was a window. A window of light with flickering shadows and movement of people rushing beyond and around me. The murmur of the voices blended together to form a continuous commotion with periodic shouts and commands in Marren's native language.

  A cry broke through the air...

  ***

  I opened my eyes to daylight. Next to me was a wooden bassinet covered with soft white fur. It was too high for me to see inside. I reached out a numb and heavy hand towards the bed where my child laid.

  “She's over here,” a tired and reserved voice fell upon me in a wave of such immense relief I began to sob.

  I turned my head towards Marren, holding a child wrapped in a small blanket. Her arm stuck out just slightly. A tiny arm, with a tiny hand, and tiny fingers clutched into a fist. The color of skin was a softer shade of Marren's copper tone. Soft coos came from the tiny thing, bringing a smile of such warmth and joy to Marren's face. He walked over to me and held her so I could see the beautiful tiny face of the creature that had lived inside me. A tiny human face. Already holding features of her father, including his black hair and impossibly black eyes. He started to bounce her gently.

  I tried to sit up but couldn't. “Why can't I move?”

  Marren's face fell. He turned and gently laid the tiny girl in her bed, then turned to face me, kneeling down to meet my gaze. “It's the cream we had to use to keep you out of pain.”

  “How come I don't remember?”

  “You lost a lot of blood and fainted. We thought you were dying so we had to cut the baby out. I gave Okelo strict orders to take care of her like she was her own because I was going to die too.” His words came out calm and even. But he couldn't hide the sadness that swelled in his eyes. “I can help you to sit up and then you can hold her.”

  “Did you name her?” I asked.

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “I was waiting for you, but I did have a name in mind.”

  “What?”

  “My Mother's name, Naloud.”

  I smiled. “Then Naloud it is.”

  25

  A Plan Set In Motion

  The weeks passed by, one blurring into the next. We were happy. Very happy. My family felt complete and I was even more grateful for Marren's touch and to be with him in ways I longed for. It didn't always happen. Naloud saw to that. She would always get upset just before we would sneak away and sometimes only Marren would do to calm her.

  The one night that I had placed Naloud, now looking much like Serid did when I first met him, in her bed and she didn't wake up shortly afterward, Marren was in the meeting room where he discussed different plans of action regarding Jiren. Marren had finally relaxed. We were even talking about making preparations to cross over. It had to be done gently, according to him.

  We had to make our transition slowly. Of course, we never assumed Jiren would just stand by idle and let all of the races rejoin the mortal realm. That was part of the preparations. One by one, in small groups, races were crossing over. A slow trickle of people that wouldn't be noticeable. At least that was what we had hoped for.

  I had ventured out of the room, leaving the two guards at the door with strict orders to move to the end of the hall because their snoring would wake Naloud. I told them to sleep lightly and alert me to anyone coming down the hall. Satisfied with their response, I moved on to the room where Marren was reviewing plans for our own cross over.

  Or he should have been. I stepped into the room only to see him slumbering. His head resting in his folded arms and lightly snoring. His hair fell in dark waves over his wolf face. I gently moved the hair and stared at him for a few moments. He looked oddly peaceful and terrifying at the same time.

  With a smile, I bent over him and pressed my lips to his cheek, then whispered in his ear, “Marren, my love, Naloud is asleep.”

  “Uhmn.”

  I smiled at his response but decided to let him sleep. He would come to bed when he was ready. I leaned down one last time and whispered, “Gvgeyu, waya uwoduhi.” I turned and walked towards the hall. I made it to the door when my wrist was caught and I was pulled into a thick hard body.

  “You can't say something like that and walk away.”

  I blushed. “I didn't even know if I said it right. You never said either way the last time.”

  “You said it perfectly,” he whispered into my ears. The warmth of his breath trickling along my skin, igniting a fire within.

  His arms wrapped tightly around me while his lips pressed against the skin of my neck, just under my ears. I clung to his arms, sinking my nails into his skin.

  I was spun around, suddenly face to face with Marren. His lips found mine and we fell to the ground. None too gently either. But it didn't matter. We felt each other's desires, in the way that those who share a heart song do. It further fueled our desire to be with each other. So anxious to be together, we were careless, tearing our clothes and skin. Filled with a hunger that was close to consuming us if we didn't give in to the need.

  A loud piercing cry filled the hall, stilling my heart within an instant. Naloud! She sounded frightened, startled awake. Pulling what was left of our clothes together we ran to our room to find Okelo was there, trying to console my child. She was wrapped in a dark blanket.

  “Okelo, what's going on here?”

  She smiled over her shoulder. It wasn't a pleasant smile, rather the shell of a smile that hid much more than I could understand. Immediately, my eyes
went to Naloud, crying under a blanket.

  “She's fine,” Okelo said in response to my glance. “There's a chill on the air. I thought I would come and check on things. When I saw she was asleep in her bed and you were gone, I assumed you were busy.” She added a careless shrug, still holding onto a very upset Naloud.

  I nodded, walking up to them and held out my hands for my child. There was a flash of anger that lit up Okelo's eyes for a brief moment. I knew then Okelo was dead, and very likely Serid as well. Marren, this isn't Okelo. This is Jiren. I added out loud, “Why don't you let me take her so I can get her back to sleep. I appreciate your concern for my child.”

  Hesitantly, Okelo—rather, Jiren—passed my child to me. “Of course,” she said.

  “Where's Serid?” I asked.

  “Asleep. I woke up when a gust of cold wind blew into my room. I covered him up and came to make sure precious Naloud was warm.”

  I smiled as Naloud's cries calmed into soft whimpers. “I'm going to take her for a walk.” Say you will join me...out loud.

  “Okelo, you better go check on Serid. I think the storm that is pushing the cold air through will be here soon,” Marren said.

  Okelo nodded her head once and stepped out.

  Marren's eyes fell on mine and without even sharing words in our private way of communicating. We knew it was now or never.

  ***

  Raden, Ildir, Enid, Neyr, and a few other therianthropes and elves stood outside of the doors to the mountain village, waiting for us to join them.

  “The others, they've crossed?” Marren asked Ildir.

  “That is the assumption,” Ildir replied.

  Enid stood a few feet from the group, hand on the handle of his sword, looking out over the trees. I wanted to ask him what was going on when Neyr, the Centaur who had helped me when I was stuck inside the Tombcell, and one of those lucky enough to have escaped Jiren's control alive, approached me.

  “Lady Relena,” she greeted with her right fist crossing her chest and bowing her head slightly. It's a sign of great respect and friendship. Much like Marren's special way of expressing his feelings to me—his words meaning something deeper than I love you.

  “Neyr,” I greeted, following with the same gesture. “Are you ready to finally join the rest of your people?”

  She couldn't help the smile that came to her face. She rarely smiled. “It is something I’ve wished for, for many weeks now. I only wish it were under less pressing reasons.”

  I watched her face contort. “What is it, Neyr? What have you not told us?”

  At this, Marren had stopped his conversation with Ildir and Raden and had turned towards mine.

  Neyr started to visibly shake, the fur on her back twitching rapidly. She stomped her back hooves a few times while she wrung her fingers together. Her face was bunched as if she wasn't sure she wanted to say.

  “Neyr.” Marren spoke, with the tone that I’d heard him take only once and that was with Farrah, back on the mortal realm.

  “Please, Master Marren, try to understand I didn't want any harm to come of my people. But I had overheard Jiren speaking about taking ‘the child’, and he saw me. He threatened that if I spoke a single word, he'd hunt down my people and make sure that I knew what it was like to feel alone before he ended me himself.”

  I understood a little of where her fear was coming from. Centaurs are very social creatures. Very loyal, but very social. They live in groups, preferring to not be alone. Alone to them is like what living in the Netherworld would be for me. It's a fate worse than death. In fact, I had been told of stories of banishment being used as a form of punishment for the most outstanding of offenses.

  Marren clenched his hands into tight fists—so tight his knuckles turned white. His face was too frightening for me to look at. His eyes held an anger burning so brightly I was afraid his look alone would set Neyr on fire. I reached out a trembling hand and placed it on his shoulder. He flinched. I sucked in a breath and moved my hand back, afraid he would turn his anger against me.

  Seeing the fear in my eyes, his anger dissolved. He expelled a breath and slouched slightly.

  “Marren, she was only trying to protect herself and her people. We cannot blame her. Naloud is safe.” I tried to make my words as sincere as I could.

  He nodded, grabbing my hands into his. “I suppose you're right. Mercy in place of fear.”

  I nodded and smiled. “Yes.”

  Enid approached. “I don't mean to intrude, but we should move on. Something isn't right. I feel it. And this storm isn't going to be gentle.”

  I looked up to see the thick, rolling clouds light up, showing dark powerful puffs. It would be a hard storm, indeed.

  ***

  I knew something was wrong when the auras kept moving. There were too many of them to be just that of a few trees and bushes.

  We stepped through the trees, onto the path that led up to the mouth of the cave, flanked by tall statues resembling the Ancients. Only one was left standing this time. One depicting Jiren. The others had been destroyed. Their remains were scattered and strewn around and more importantly, sealing the cross over. The last of the races that were supposed to have gone through, were working on moving the smaller, more manageable sized chunks. The air filled with the sound of a rhythmic rumble that seemed too even to be rolling thunder.

  “Marren, what do we do now?” Instead of answering me, he let go of my hand and stepped closer to the rubble. “What is it?”

  “He couldn't have done this alone,” Marren replied.

  “Could this have been that loud rumble that shook the ground instead of thunder?” Enid asked.

  “Quite possibly,” he replied.

  “Well, nothin's gettin done standin 'round here,” Ildir said.

  “Time to do what dwarfs do best,” Raden seconded.

  Both stalked off towards the mountain and joined the other group of dwarfs that I hadn't notice until then. The rumbling, I realized, was the crushing of the rock that blocked our way back to the mortal realm. Parts of their axes and hammers were visible above the mounds of rock just before the crashing rumble that followed.

  “Marren, it can only go faster if we all work together to move the rock,” I said.

  “What is it you have planned?”

  “A chain.”

  ***

  Dawn's light crested the horizon in shades of reds, oranges, and golds. I was exhausted, as was the rest of the group. There was only one large rock in our way to the mortal realm. We sat gathered on rocks and small stones while some children played on the inside of the trees and others slept on the small patches of soft grass that was available. Naloud slept in Marren's arms—a sight that made my heart swell. Ildir and Raden discussed a plan of action for getting the rock out of the way and the possibility of a fight waiting for us on the other side.

  “Jiren wouldn't risk that kind of exposure. If he isn't here, he's there and more importantly, he has a plan,” Marren interrupted.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “Either he knew he wouldn't get away with taking Naloud or he was purposefully making himself known. I think he wants us to believe he's trapped us here but knows we will get through. My thoughts are that he's expecting us to get through. Hoping. His plans depend on it.”

  As Marren spoke, even I knew his words were true. Jiren could have taken Naloud and none would be the wiser. He was capable of it. This was all a part of his plan. “What do we do now?”

  “We find out his plan as soon as possible. Until then, it isn't safe to travel alone. We travel in groups. And we don't travel in the daylight or in the open. There's no telling what Jiren has done and I wouldn't put it past him to have hunting parties looking for us in an effort for us to play right into his hands.”

  “Yer thoughts make sense, though I'm not sure how that is going to help us get this rock out our way,” Ildir said.

  “And what if there is a fight on the other side? He could try to pick us o
ff one by one—lessen our numbers from the start,” I added in.

  “She has a point, Marren,” Enid added. “What then? What would you have us do?”

  “Ye have to admit,” Raden chimed in, “that Jiren is cold and very much heartless. It is exactly something he’d do.”

  Marren shook his head. “No. I think he's planning on us being cautious and expecting that, so it won't be there. Look,” he added quickly with several murmurs and groans through the crowd. “Jiren is counting on us to try to guess his plans. Why else wait so long to strike again? He's doing something that we haven't thought of before and he's going to make sure that we are backed against a wall before he reveals himself. Our best bet is to move that rock and get crossed over. From there, you can all find your families and regroup. We can make arrangements to send word throughout the immortal races if we hear something that will help us find out Jiren's plan. Until then, survive and be on your guard.”

  “Aha!” Ildir shouted, which caused me to jump. Marren chuckled.

  I watched as Ildir took his large axe, climbed to the top of the rock, and stood facing the group. “Catch me, won't ye?” he asked of no one in particular then raised his axe high above his head and slammed it down on the top of the rock with a loud shuddering blow that sounded as though lightning had struck the rock instead of his axe. Naloud wiggled in her father's arms at the commotion, just as the rock cracked and crumbled underneath Ildir. The agility of a dwarf would never cease to amaze me. He jumped from the crumbling mass underneath him to a cleared area of ground to the right of the rock.

  26

  Destroyed By Cyrs

  Something doesn’t feel right, I said to Marren through our private way of communicating.

  I know. I feel it too.

  The last of the rubble was moved. It was late afternoon. The beginning of fall graced the trees in shades of amber and gold with specks of emerald spotted throughout. The day was warm, but only just. I feared the weather on the other side, but knew it was silly to do so. This realm matched the mortal one so closely that everything was in line. Time, weather, the seasons. Everything except for the size and the way that human hands hadn't touched the land and corrupted it into what the mortal realm was.