Beside the Brook

by Paulette Rae

  invited her to their farm where they had several horses. Kirsten knew she would be pushing her luck with Beth if she asked, and knew better than to go behind her back, so had instead talked Sarah into shell collecting for a collage.

  “Look at this one, Kirsty,” Sarah yelled excitedly as she skipped across the beach.

  “Wow.” Kirsten took the smooth white oval and held it up to the sun so she could see it properly. “What kind of shell is that?”

  Sarah looked thoughtful for a moment. “Is it a cockle shell?”

  “No.” Kirsten put her hand into the red satchel she carried, slung over one shoulder. Several shells jangled against each other as she fumbled for what she was looking for. Her fingers found the ribbed surface of a cockle shell and she pulled it out for Sarah to see. “This one is a cockle shell.”

  Sarah grinned. “Then it must be a Pipi!”

  “Well done.” Kirsty dropped both shells into the sack.

  “Actually, it’s called a Paphies Australis,” Jamie said from his vantage point at the end of the beach, where he had been watching them for the last few minutes. He grinned as they both turned in surprise at the sound of his voice.

  “Dad.” Sarah ran to his side and hugged him around the waist.

  “Hey, Sarah.” He bent and kissed the top of her head. Kirsten ambled over to them, smiled. “How long have you been standing there?”

  “Not long.” Sarah released him and he put both hands into the pockets of his tan cotton pants. His eyes twinkled as smile lines appeared around the edges of his mouth.

  “Did you bring me something, Dad?” Sarah gazed up at her father in expectation.

  “Of course. Don’t I always?”

  “Yay, what did you get me?” Sarah pulled at the waistline of his trousers. Jamie tapped her on the nose with a long broad finger. “Why don’t you go on up to your room and find out.”

  “Okay.” Sarah skipped up the beach a few metres, then turned and asked, “Aren’t you coming?”

  “We’ll be up in a few minutes. I just want to talk to Kirsty.”

  “Alright.” Sarah clambered over the rocks and disappeared into the thicket of bush between the shore and the house.

  Jamie turned back to Kirsten. It had been a hot afternoon and she had removed her shoes to walk barefoot on the rocky shore. She wore a straight denim skirt, which came to just above her knee, and a striped sleeveless blouse she had unbuttoned from the bottom and tied into a knot across her stomach.

  Jamie smiled down at her. “Hi.” He sounded unsure of how he would be received.

  “Hi, yourself.” Kirsten pushed a loose strand of hair from her face.

  “Sorry about sneaking up on you like that. I wasn’t snooping; I just thought I might be able to get you on your own down here instead of waiting ‘til later.”

  “Well, you’re entitled to snoop on me. I am teaching your daughter,” Kirsten teased. She was pleased he had sought her out as soon as he had arrived home. Maybe it meant he had feelings for her, past the one night they had spent together.

  “You know that’s not what I meant.” Jamie smirked.

  “I know.”

  He took a step closer, looked down as he took her fingers into his hand. “Can I be completely honest with you?”

  Oh God, here it comes. Kirsty swallowed hard. “I would hope you’d be nothing else with me.” She waited for the easy let down she was sure would follow.

  “I like you. I really do.” Jamie lifted her hand and studied her slender fingers as if they were a diversion. “And that scares me.”

  “Scares you, why?” Kirsty frowned.

  He smiled as he lifted his eyes to hers. “I loved Brook, with the passion of a smitten teenage boy. She was a wonderful woman and mother. When she died I felt so guilty.”

  “Guilty?” Kirsten was shocked. She put her free hand on Jamie’s arm. “Why would you feel guilty Jamie? It wasn’t your fault.”

  “Not directly. But I felt like I hadn’t given her everything I could have. You see I loved her, but I don’t think I was in love with her. And in that respect I let her down. I wasn’t there for her like she needed me to be. I knew she wanted to leave her family, make her own life with Sarah, somewhere else, but I chose my work over her needs, not wanting to admit I couldn’t give her what she wanted. So when she died I felt I could have prevented it. And then, when the guilt passed I just felt empty, like the best chance I’d had at happiness was gone forever.”

  Kirsten gave him a compassionate look, waited for him to continue.

  “These last few weeks, coming home has been like waking up at Christmas time when I was a kid.” He grinned and his face lit up, lifting ten years off his age. “I should feel that way all the time I know, coming home to Sarah. But there are things I can’t tell you, yet anyway,” he touched her face softly, “and I haven’t felt that way for a long time. But with you here it feels almost like coming home again, like when Brook was alive.”

  Kirsten blushed and dropped her gaze, unsure of where to look. “I-,” she paused, collected her thoughts before she said the wrong thing. “I didn’t know.”

  Jamie smiled. “Good, I’m pleased about that. I don’t like being an open book.”

  “Really?” Kirsty’s sarcasm was obvious. “I never would’ve guessed.” She grinned.

  “Seriously, I haven’t scared you off have I?” Jamie raised his eyebrows. Kirsten shook her head. “No, you haven’t scared me off.”

  “Good. I don’t want you to think I rushed into the other night and it was just a casual thing between us. On the other hand I want to make it clear I don’t want to rush anything. This is all new to me. There are things you don’t know about me, that you should, and I will tell you when the time is right. There is also everyone else to consider, including Sarah.”

  Kirsten nodded her head in agreement. “I understand that.”

  “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, as it’s no reflection on you, but I’d like to keep us just between ourselves as long as we can.”

  “There are things I need to tell you too,” Kirsten conceded. “But as you say, we have time, and taking it slowly suits me just fine.”

  Jamie took her into his arms, pressed his lips to hers. She wrapped her arm around his neck and kissed him back, enjoyed the feel of his warm mouth on hers. Her spine tingled as his hand found the small of her back, pulled her closer to him. She pressed herself up against his chest.

  Breathlessly he whispered into her ear, “I’ve been waiting all week to do that.”

  Kirsten squeezed him tighter. He smelled so great it made her giddy. She giggled.

  “Me too.”

  They walked back to the house, their secret tucked deep into their pockets as they resumed normal behaviour in front of everyone else. Kirsten smiled to herself. If Beth and Craig could do it, surely she could keep her own feelings concealed too.

  It was, however, harder than she thought. All through dinner she felt Jamie’s eyes on her, even though he maintained the hardened exterior she was so used to. She knew him to be different now. This harsh, rude Jamie he presented to Brook’s family was not the real man, it was his safeguard; his protection. Soon enough, she hoped, he would unravel to her the mystery behind his strange act.

  After their meal she sat with Beth and Tyler on the porch, watched the sun set in dulcet tones of orange and yellow, while Jamie spent the evening upstairs with Sarah.

  “You’re rather quiet this evening dear,” Beth observed. Kirsty shook the thoughts of Jamie from her head and smiled. “Yes, it’s been a long week. I’m a little tired.”

  Beth smiled. Her dainty foot tapped the air. It was such a beautiful night she had slipped off her shoes and her manicured feet were bare on the warm concrete.

  “There’s a long weekend coming up, why don’t you take next Friday off and go visit your family for a while?”

  “Hmm,” Kirsten pondered the idea. She had to admit she hadn’t thought of it herself.

>   “That’s a good idea. I might just do that.” It would be great to see her parents and her sisters again. She needed to get away, sort out her thoughts and emotions with everything that had happened over the past several weeks. She liked being here; loved looking after Sarah, but it was probably time to have a break away. “Thanks, Beth.”

  “Hey, don’t mention it. I thought I might take Sarah away for a few days, and Craig wants to get away to visit his daughter.” Beth turned to Tyler. “What about you, sugar, you got anything planned?”

  Tyler gave a sassy smile and ran a hand through his dark hair. “Well, if you’re all going to be away I might have a party.”

  Kirsty laughed as Beth frowned in disapproval. “You’re just a big kid aren’t you?”

  Tyler placed his hand over his chest in defense. “Me?”

  “Yes you.” Beth cuffed him over the ear as she stood up.

  “I’ll have you know I work very hard.” Tyler pouted. “So when I get the chance to play I make the most of it.”

  “I know you do, honey.” Beth kissed him on the top of his head. “On that note, I’m going to go and catch up on some paperwork. See you two tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” Tyler smiled at his mother then winked at Kirsten. “Just remember, you’ll be old when you wake up.”

  Kirsten giggled. “Good night, Beth.”

  Beth ignored Tyler’s smart comment and disappeared into the house. The sky had paled to a dim grey glow in the west. She could see Tyler watching her, his face highlighted only by the sallow light drifting through the lounge curtains. A large moon was coming up over the hills behind the house. Kirsten took a deep breath of fresh air. “God, it’s beautiful tonight.”

  Tyler grinned. “Yeah, I was just thinking that. And the night’s not bad either.”

  Kirsten smirked and looked sideways at him. “Your mother’s right. You are terrible.”

  “Hey, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. What’s so wrong with that?”

  “Nothing I guess.” Kirsten shrugged. “But sometimes I think there’s more to you than meets the eye. Don’t you ever just feel like not being happy?”

  Tyler scowled, as if he had no concept of what she meant. “What’s the point in dwelling on the negative?”

  Kirsten remembered Brook’s thoughts on Tyler’s inability to deal with what had happened to them with their father. Did he really think it was that simple? Was it really

  just a matter of not dwelling on the negative? Surely something like that was not so easy to put away forever. She wanted to ask him about it, felt sure he would open up to her, but she had no way of telling him how she knew, without revealing her secret sessions with Brook’s diary.

  Instead she said, “Sometimes negative things happen that are out of our control.”

  “Yes, that I’ll agree with. But it’s all in how we deal with them that matters. We make the most of what we’ve got, and protect what’s ours.”

  Kirsten could tell he was quite passionate on the subject by the tone of his voice. Was he talking about his sister? Had he thought he had to be strong for her, not show his own true feelings to protect her?

  He stood up now, pushed his chair back so it scraped noisily on the concrete.

  “Anyway, I’m going to have a shower. Have a good night. I hope you’re feeling better tomorrow.”

  “Thanks.” She smiled up at him. “Goodnight, Tyler.”

  She sat in the still of the night. A Morepork began to squawk its lonely call from the native bush surrounding the bay. A soft warm breeze blew across her face and she closed her eyes, enjoying the silence. She couldn’t miss the busy bustle of the city after this. How could she ever go back to living there, having been in a paradise like this?

  She was so lucky. She got up and walked down the steps, onto the grass and across the lawn. As she crept away from the lights of the house, into the darkness she heard a soft voice call out to her.

  “Hey, pretty lady, where you going?”

  She smiled, stopped and turned. Jamie was walking down the hill toward her.

  “It’s so nice I thought I’d go for a stroll.”

  “You want some company?”

  Kirsten grinned up at him. “Of course.”

  They walked into the bush and Jamie took her hand into his own. It was pitch black beneath the trees without the light of the moon, but Kirsten had walked the path many times. Her other senses surrounded her, the sound of Jamie breathing, their footfalls on the damp, leaf covered ground, the smell and feel of him beside her. Moonglade glittered on the water as they scrambled over the rocks and down onto the beach. The stones near the jetty were fine pebbles, nearly turned to sand after hundreds of years of being pounded against the shore and the foot round posts, which dug the wharf into the ground. The tide had almost reached its highest point and the water lapped in gentle waves, echoing under the jetty boards.

  “God, it’s so beautiful out here,” Kirsten murmured as she dropped Jamie’s hand and spun in a circle, her arms extended wide on either side of her. Jamie caught her and pulled her into him. He smiled down at her. She could see his face clearly under the star filled sky. She frowned. Something was different about him, something she had noticed only now as his silhouette cut a hole in the night sky.

  “You’ve had a hair cut.”

  Jamie grinned. “What, you only just noticed? I thought women saw these things straight away.”

  Kirsten reached her hand up and touched the back of his neck. The hair there was a lot shorter than it had been the week before, razored so it was mere stubble against her fingers.

  “I like it.” She smiled.

  Jamie leaned in and kissed her on the neck. “Well, I thought I better tidy myself up for you.”

  “For me?” Kirsty was pleased he couldn’t see her cheeks turn bright red under the moonlight.

  “Maybe,” Jamie confessed as he kissed his way down her neck to the pale skin of her collarbone.

  She closed her eyes and craned her head back, leaned her body into him to counteract her balance.

  “If you keep that up you’ll be in big trouble, mister,” she whispered.

  “Oh, what kind of trouble?” Jamie straightened and peered down at her. A small smile played at the edge of his mouth. Tiny dimples creased his cheeks and he batted his long eyelashes daringly at her.

  She laughed. “Big trouble.”

  “Sounds good.” Jamie took a step back from her and began to unbutton his shirt.

  “Shall we swim first?”

  “Swim?” Surprised, Kirsten glanced down at the water’s edge. It looked so nice, but so dark. She had enough trouble going into the green depths during the day, knowing there were stingrays and jellyfish, let alone venturing into the black abyss at night.

  “Yeah, swim. Haven’t you ever been skinny dipping at night?” Jamie grinned as he threw his shirt over a large jagged rock.

  “No, I can’t say I have.” Kirsten swallowed hard as she glanced at the water. It did sound inviting, especially if Jamie was going to be with her, naked. “What about sharks and stingrays?”

  Jamie chuckled. “I’ll protect you. Come on, it will be fun.” He stepped closer to Kirsten and reached to unbutton her shirt. The thought of being so close to Jamie, under the moonlight, in the cool water, soon outweighed the fear, and she quickly undressed and followed him into the sea. She waded in up to her hips, her breath catching as the cool salty water caressed her skin. Jamie came to her and slipped one arm around her waist, kissed her softly. Her nipples hardened against him as the water lapped against her inner thighs. Jamie put one arm under her legs and lifted her into a cradle position then grinned as he carried her all the way into the water. She gasped as he ducked down under the gentle waves, submerging them both up to their necks.

  “Shit, it’s cold!” She put her arms out, floated away from Jamie as he watched her and laughed.

  “It’s not that bad.” Jamie stood up and waded out further into the bay, his body only vi
sible from the chest up over the water line. He wet both hands and ran them through his hair, pushed it back against his head into damp thick strands. He looked so amazing, the outline of his body glistened with water which caught the moonlight in little droplets. It ran from his hair, down his neck, over his shoulders and onto his chest. His demure pose was so arousing to Kirsten at that moment, the way he stood so relaxed and unaware of the effect he had on her. She waded out past him and swam, doggy paddle, out to the end of the jetty. She looked back at him as she treaded water, concentrated on keeping herself afloat. He waded as far as he could then pushed himself under the water, disappeared beneath the surface, leaving just a ripple on the surface where he had been. Kirsten waited for him to resurface. She turned herself in the water, stared down into the darkness, but couldn’t see him. He was playing with her, waiting until she had no idea where he would come up, and then he would surprise her. She looked around, at the huge moon that hung in the crystal, star studded sky. The outline

  of the hills broke into black flowing lines along the horizon, leading down to the sea, now a blanket of silver crested dark green. This was paradise. This was living. Kirsten smiled. If she could do this here, with Jamie, for the rest of her life, she would be happy. The water rippled beside her and Jamie’s head broke the surface. He popped up, splashed her with water and she squealed in delight.

  “Nearly lost you there for a second.” He grinned.

  “It’s so dark down there, I’m not surprised.”

  “You look like a mermaid out here in the water,” Jamie teased.

  “Oh, and just how many mermaids have you seen on your travels?”

  “Only a few.” He smiled and pushed himself onto his back, paddled circles around her in the water.