Mayhem & Mistletoe

by Amanda M. Lee

  “I guess that means we’re going to the sheriff’s department,” I said, shaking my head. My life felt as if it was spiraling downward. “I’ll bet Jake stonewalls me too.”

  “You’re right,” Derrick readily agreed. “Perhaps you shouldn’t waste your time.”

  Yeah, that sounded nothing like me. “It’s part of the job.”

  “And I’m going with her,” Sabrina enthused, her eyes full of determination. “We’re going to rattle the sheriff’s cage until answers fall out.”

  Derrick cocked his head. “She really is adorable.”

  “She’s annoying,” I muttered, not caring in the least that Sabrina heard.

  “You’ll knock that optimistic streak out of her before it’s all said and done. In no time flat, she’ll be as cynical and mouthy as you.”

  Now that was something to look forward to.

  SABRINA WAS AGOG WHEN WE HIT the sheriff’s department. The lobby, per usual, bustled with activity. Down one hallway was a courtroom for emergency arraignments. The county jail took up the other side of the building. I wasn’t interested in either.

  “I’m here to see Sheriff Farrell,” I announced to the two deputies lounging behind the bullet-proof bubble. They looked more interested in carrying on whatever hilarious conversation they were enjoying.

  “What is this regarding?” the male deputy demanded when it became apparent I wasn’t going to retreat.

  “It’s a private matter.”

  “It’s news,” Sabrina hissed behind me, extending a finger. “It’s important news and we have rights.”

  I cast her a sidelong look. “Chill out, Woodward.”

  “She’s new,” the female deputy noted from behind the glass, leaning forward. She looked intrigued by Sabrina’s presence. “Is she your new sidekick?”

  I opened my mouth to shoot back a hot retort and then snapped it shut. In truth, I’d always wanted a sidekick. Every Batman needs a Robin, after all. Every Jay needs a Silent Bob. Heck, every Han needs a Chewbacca. Unfortunately, nobody needed a Sabrina.

  “Is Jake here?” I directed the conversation to what was important. “I really need to talk to him.”

  The male deputy, who I’d run into a time or two in my years with The Monitor, sighed. “I’ll call back to see if he’s accepting guests.”

  I flashed a smile I didn’t really feel. “That would be great.”

  “I’m not surprised you think that.” He paused. “She hasn’t been vetted for security clearance, so she won’t be allowed behind the security doors.”

  My initial response was to tell him he was full of crap. Jake held news conferences on the other side of the security doors all the time. Nobody had to go through a background check to be included. In this particular case, though, letting the deputy have his small thrill would also mean I didn’t have to entertain Sabrina when I was trying to grill Jake. That seemed a decent enough trade-off.

  “That’s fine,” I said. “She can wait for me here.”

  Sabrina opened her mouth to argue but I shook my head and lowered my voice. “You can hang close to the deputies, listen for anything they might say about what happened at the train tracks. Odds are Jake won’t give me any information. You might luck out and get us a good lead.”

  Sabrina nodded, her demeanor shifting in an instant. She tapped the side of her nose. “Good plan. You’re so smart.”

  I always thought it would be cool to have someone follow me around and acknowledge my brilliance. Apparently I was wrong. “Just don’t be obvious.”

  “I’ve got it under control.”

  I was still shaking my head when they buzzed me into the back. I knew exactly where to go to find my prey. Jake was positioned behind his desk when I strode into his office.

  “What’s up with the dead Santas?” I asked before uttering a single word of greeting. I saw no sense in dithering. “Is it a mob hit or something else?”

  Jake glanced up from his computer and shook his head. “We’re not releasing information just yet. We haven’t notified the next of kin. Heck, we haven’t even identified all the bodies.”

  The fact that they hadn’t identified all the bodies was worth noting, but there was no need to point that out. “You must have something.” I threw myself into one of the chairs across from his desk. “You might not have identified all the bodies, but I guarantee you’ve identified some of them. How about you release those names?”

  I didn’t expect him to bite — he was a stickler for rules, especially those of his own making. There was no way he would identify a handful of dead people if it might tip off families of the other victims. Jake had a hard and fast rule that nobody should ever find out about the death of a loved one from the media.

  “I can’t, Avery. Sorry.”

  I knew he would go that route. “Are you at least close to identifying all the bodies?”

  “That’s something for you to take up with the medical examiner. Right now, we’re in a holding pattern.”

  “You mean you’re waiting for someone else to give you information to act upon.”

  “As you like.” His eyes went momentarily cold before he switched gears. “Congratulations on the engagement.” He lowered his gaze before I could register the words.

  I knew when I’d decided to descend on his office that there was a possibility he might question me regarding Eliot’s bombshell from the previous evening. I didn’t think he would go for the jugular right from the start. “We’re not engaged,” I mumbled staring at my shoes.

  “Not yet, but it sounds like it’s coming.”

  What could I say? The annoyance that bubbled up when Eliot first made the announcement in the diner returned with a vengeance. “I might not be the marrying kind.”

  “That’s what I always thought in the past. But now ....”

  I lifted my eyes and found him staring at me. There was no accusation in the look, no hatred. He didn’t appear particularly sad or shattered. He did look shaken. “Jake ....” I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wondered if there was anything to say.

  “It’s none of my business,” he offered softly. “I just didn’t realize it was happening so soon. I guess I wasn’t ready.”

  Ready for what? “What makes you think I’m ready?” I challenged. “I don’t like any of this. It all makes me uncomfortable. My stomach feels as if it’s going to explode. I keep having nightmares about being strangled by oversized white dresses. None of this is fun.”

  For the first time since I’d entered his office, Jake managed a wan smile. “That’s why he’s doing it this way. He knows you’ll freak out. He knows that if he proposed in the heat of the moment, you’d likely say no before considering what he could offer you.”

  “He’s doing it this way because he wants to drive me crazy!”

  “He’s doing it this way because he understands you. It’s smart ... and he knows that if he gives you a few weeks to calm down, really think about it, you’ll say yes.”

  “I might not say yes.”

  “You’ll say yes.” The sadness was back, joined by something else I couldn’t identify. “If he’d asked you too soon, you would’ve melted down, moved out, and hidden for several months. Then you would’ve realized what a mistake you made, and he would’ve had to move you back in and it would’ve been a whole big thing.”

  That did sound like me. “He’s driving me crazy.”

  Jake chuckled. “I think you guys drive each other crazy, and for some reason you like it. That’s okay. I just ... was surprised he told me the way he did.”

  I took pity on him. “If it’s any consolation, I think he regrets it. He said he wasn’t sure how to tell you but didn’t want you to hear from somebody else.”

  “I’m glad I know.”

  “I’m not sure I’m glad I know.”

  “You’ll get over it.” He blew out a sigh and glanced toward the window. “As for the Santas, there’s nothing I can tell you right now. You’re on your own.”


  I considered pushing him on Beau Burton but backed off for the same reasons I didn’t push Derrick. If he knew I had a lead, he would try to slow me down, which meant throwing other media in my path. We couldn’t have that.

  “Fine, but if I find good stuff, I’m not telling you either,” I warned, getting to my feet. “Just be ready for me to lap you guys when it comes to getting information.”

  Amusement, rich and fast, returned to his features. “That sounds like a challenge.”

  “It is.” I moved toward the door. “I’m heading out the back way. If your guys in the bubble could wait for a good hour or so to tell the woman I came with that I’m gone, that would be great.”

  His eyebrows migrated up his forehead. “Do I even want to know what that’s about?”

  “Probably not.”

  He was silent a beat and then shook his head. “Fine. I’m giving you a pass, but just this once.”

  “You always were my hero.”

  “I guess, in some ways, you were mine, too,” he said. “Make sure you stay out of trouble. I don’t know what we’re dealing with this go-around, but it’s going to get ugly before it gets better.”

  8 Eight

  I should’ve felt guilty about leaving Sabrina behind, but I didn’t. Rampant enthusiasm was one thing. Making me want to smack her head into a brick wall to shut her mouth was quite another. Honestly, I was doing her a favor. This way she got to live — and I got to think.

  I drove downtown and purchased a coffee from my favorite shop, one that happened to be located directly next door to Eliot’s shop. Rather than go inside and press him for the information he promised, I planted myself on a bench and mainlined caffeine while I considered my options.

  Jake wasn’t giving me much. It wasn’t that he was trying to cut me out of the info as much as he was trying to be a stand-up sheriff. I hated that about him. He needed to find a way to be a good guy while still giving me special treatment.

  Beau Burton was a known name, I reminded myself. People knew him from his past deeds, even though he never spent more than a few nights in jail and made some enemies. Unfortunately, very few of those enemies came forward. As I remembered the story, the sheriff’s departments in both Oakland and Macomb counties — where Beau pulled most of his cons — declined to name the victims. I figured at the time that was one of the reasons the prosecution never went anywhere. Those he ripped off had names – big names — and they didn’t need the embarrassment. They refused to testify against him in court.

  So, the question was, who had the most to gain by Beau’s death? That was quickly followed by questions regarding the other dead men. It made sense that one of Beau’s former victims wanted him to pay for stealing, philandering and any other horrible thing he probably did during the stretch he went undiscovered. But how did the other men play into it?

  “What are you doing out here?”

  I jolted when Eliot’s voice invaded my afternoon thinking interlude. “You shouldn’t sneak up on me.”

  He plopped down on the bench next to me. “It’s awfully cold to be sitting on a bench in the middle of Mount Clemens.”

  He had a point. I was so lost in thought that I’d barely registered the cold. “I went back to the scene.”

  “I figured.” He settled in and prepared to listen to me for as long as it took.

  “Derrick was there. He wouldn’t give me any information.”

  “Can you blame him? He’s lead on the case. If there are any leaks, he’ll be blamed.”

  I pinned him with a dark glare. “Whose side are you on?”

  “I’m always on your side. I’m just saying that I understand where Derrick is coming from.”

  I rolled my neck. “He said I had to check with Jake.”

  “Did you?”

  I nodded. “He wouldn’t talk either. He said he couldn’t because they haven’t identified all the bodies yet.”

  He pulled his head down into his coat. “Jake won’t risk families finding out their loved one is dead — and in potentially horrible fashion — from any source other than his department.”

  “Yeah. He’s a pain.”

  Eliot chuckled. “You’re in a mood.” He ran his thumb over my cheek, considering. “You’re cold. How long have you been out here?”

  “Not very long. I was just thinking about stuff.” I turned to face him. “Do you remember when all the Beau Burton stuff came out in the news?”

  He nodded, blowing on his bare hands before moving them to my cheeks. “We could have this conversation in the shop. You’re really cold.”

  I cast a dark look toward the pawnshop, to where my cousin Mario worked behind the counter. He seemed to be having a heavy discussion with a young woman in front of the jewelry case. “I don’t want him squealing on me.”

  “He’s too caught up hitting on my clientele. We can use my office if you have anything good.”

  “I don’t have anything. It’s all just conjecture right now.”

  He fell silent, and when I shot a questioning look toward him, he didn’t smile. “How was Jake?”

  It was as if he could read my mind. How did he know that my interaction with Jake weighed on me? “He was fine.”

  “I guess you won’t mind if I call him to ask him about your conversation.”

  “I just told you what our conversation consisted of.”

  “Not all of it.” He was calm. “There’s no way Jake didn’t bring up the fact that I’m going to propose to you.”

  I jerked up my head, darting looks in every direction to see if anybody was eavesdropping. Winter was upon us and it was cold. Nobody was on the street. That was a relief. “Stop saying that in public. You’ll ruin my street cred.”

  Amusement flitted through his eyes. “Does becoming a wife somehow make you less of a badass?”

  “Yes. How am I supposed to instill fear in the populace if they keep picturing me in an apron and carrying around a platter of cookies?”

  “You’re so funny.” He shook his head. “I mean ... really funny. Do you think I expect you to suddenly hop in an apron and bake cookies? Because, and I love you dearly, the only thing you can cook up is trouble.”

  “That’s not the point of this conversation. I’ve gotten off track.”

  Eliot looked as if he might momentarily push harder, but he ultimately held out his hands and shrugged. “Okay, what is the point of this conversation?”

  “Jake won’t tell me anything.”

  “Was he upset with you?”

  “He was ... fine. He said he thought you were smart to do what you’re doing. That made me want to smack him, but I figured he would never tell me what I want to know if I did. Besides, I needed him to handle Sabrina for me. I couldn’t very well smack him around if I expected him to order his men to solve my intern problem.”

  “Um ... now I’m behind.” He tilted his head. “What intern problem?”

  “Oh, that’s right. I haven’t told you. Wait until you hear this.” I unloaded the contents of my morning, leaving nothing out. When I finished, he let loose a hearty guffaw and shook his head.

  “So, you got stuck with babysitting duty today on top of everything else. This has to be painful.”

  “You have no idea. She keeps saying I’m her hero. I had no idea how ridiculous that was going to sound until after she wouldn’t shut up about it. I’ve always been my own hero, but when she says it, I want to sew her lips together.”

  His smile was back. “What if I tell you you’re my hero?”

  “Then I’ll say you’re sappy and trying to annoy me.”

  “Well, you are my hero.” He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. “I’m about to be your hero, too. Because you’ve managed to have an entire ten-minute conversation regarding our upcoming engagement without changing the subject and reminding me what the zombie apocalypse would really look like, I guess it’s time to reward you.”

  I was instantly suspicious. “I think I’m right about the zombie apocalypse.
I know I said I wanted you on my team, but now I’ve decided it’s not even worth living if I can’t have Cadbury Eggs and regular doses of Netflix.”

  He laughed, as I’d intended, and slung an arm around my shoulders. “We’ll have to save the zombie conversation for another time. I really do have a present for you, and it comes in the form of information. I know a guy who worked as part of a tandem team with Beau Burton for a time. I thought you might like an introduction.”

  All thoughts of the engagement, my talk with Jake, and the annoying intern evaporated. “Are you serious?”

  He nodded. “That’s the thing I mentioned this morning. He worked with Beau several years ago.”

  I was dumbfounded. “How does that even work? I mean ... Beau was scamming women. Were they romancing these women together? Like ... there wasn’t any sandwich action, was there?”

  Eliot laughed so hard I thought he might choke. “To my knowledge, there was no sandwich action. By the way, your gutter mind is only one of the reasons I love you. As for my source, he’s not exactly trustworthy.”

  All the enthusiasm I’d been building died in an instant. “If he lies, why are we going to talk to him?”

  “He doesn’t lie as much as he avoids questions. He’s great at getting information, but he’s also good at covering for his friends. I called him this morning, told him what was going on. He agreed to talk to you — off the record. You can’t use his name if you write something.”

  “Do you think he has something good?”

  “He always has something good. It’s getting him to spill that’s difficult.”

  I downed the rest of my coffee before standing. “Well, it’s worth a shot. I’m not getting anywhere with the cops.”

  “We’ll go together.” He joined me on the sidewalk and caught my chin, planting a huge, soul-sucking kiss on me.

  I was breathless when we pulled apart. “What was that for?”

  “I love you.”

  “I’m well aware. It’s your love that’s giving me an ulcer.”

  “Maybe I just like kissing you.”

  “I guess that’s not so bad.” I leaned into him for a moment. “You drive me crazy.”