Mayhem & Mistletoe

by Amanda M. Lee

  “Right back at you.”

  “I love you too.”

  He rested his cheek on my forehead. “That’s really nice to hear, especially when you’re being such a pain.”

  I pulled back, annoyance radiating from me. “You’re the one being the pain.”

  “We’ll have to agree to disagree. For now, how do you feel about interviewing a grifter?”

  “Bring it on.”

  I WASN’T SURPRISED WHEN ELIOT LED me to the gun range. As far as I could tell, he met a lot of nefarious sorts at the establishment. Apparently target practice and gossip went hand in hand.

  “Which one is he?” I stood on my tiptoes to get a better look at the room.

  “Knock that off.” Eliot nudged me just enough that I had no choice but to stand flat-footed. “You look like you’re casing the joint.”

  “I was casing the joint.”

  “Well, don’t be so obvious.” He carried his gun bag in one hand and slipped his other arm around my waist, leading me to the far end of the range. There, an older man with gray hair and a suspicious set of eyes watched us warily.

  “Ray.” Eliot’s voice was even. “Thanks for meeting me here.”

  “It was better than risking you showing up at my place of business at the wrong time,” the man fired back, switching his attention to me. “Is this her?”

  Eliot nodded. “Ray Bennett, this is Avery Shaw.”

  Ray’s glance was appraising as he looked me up and down. “She’s pretty.”

  “She is,” Eliot agreed. “Don’t do that thing you do where you say slimy stuff to her.”

  “It’s not slimy,” Ray countered. “The ladies love me. I’m a romantic at heart.”

  “Well, don’t try it with her.”

  Ray’s eyes reflected intrigue. “Will you beat me up? I’ve never seen you fight for the honor of a woman.”

  “She doesn’t need me to fight for her honor.” Eliot was matter-of-fact. “She’s more than capable of taking care of herself, and any punishment she thinks up for you will be worse than anything I could do to you.”

  “I don’t know. She looks awful sweet to me.” Ray sent me a leer. “What do you say, sweetheart, want to trade up?”

  I hated him on sight. Even if I didn’t know he used to run cons with Beau, I would’ve despised him the moment he opened his mouth. That didn’t mean he couldn’t be useful, and that’s what I reminded myself now. “I’m happy with my lot in life,” I replied.

  “Oh, baby, you’re so sweet to me.” Eliot winked and then turned back to Ray. “Just tell her about Beau. We don’t need anything else from you, and she promises not to use your name. This doesn’t have to be painful.”

  Ray’s gaze was speculative as it bounced between us. “And what if I don’t want to talk to her? I’ve been thinking and I’m not sure there’s anything in this for me.”

  Eliot didn’t as much as lift a shoulder. “Fair enough. But keep in mind that if you don’t help her, I’m pretty certain there won’t be any need for me to pay you for information going forward.”

  Ray held his gaze a moment longer and then surrendered. “You must really like this chick to risk one of your best sources.”

  “I happen to adore her.” Eliot’s smile never wavered. “Give her what she wants.”

  Ray slumped. “What do you want to know?”

  “What can you tell me?” I asked. “My understanding is that the two of you worked cons together.”

  “Con is an ugly word. We worked jobs together.”

  “Did you fleece older women out of their life savings together?”

  “No, that was all him.” Ray dragged a hand through what was left of his hair. “Beau and I used to run a cemetery plot scam. And then later there was this thing with strip clubs, but that didn’t last more than a week. The cemetery plots was the big thing.”

  “How do you scam people with cemetery plots?”

  “You sell them plots for their loved ones that have already been sold. It’s a great scam ... until it catches up with you. You have no idea how violent grieving people can be.”

  “Yeah. They’re finicky that way.”

  “So, we were taking a break from the cemetery scam because you can only use it so many times before people get wise and then you have to wait for a new cemetery,” Ray explained. “I wasn’t expecting a call from him, but he said he had this great thing going. I went to check it out ... and it was dating older women.

  “I’m no prude, but I was pretty grossed out by the entire thing,” he continued. “He was having sex with, like, three of these broads in the same week, pretending to be a real Romeo and stuff. All the while, he was stealing money and jewels and then moving on to the next chick.”

  Eliot stirred. “Wasn’t he worried about getting caught? All of these women run in the same circles.”

  “They do, but they were embarrassed about getting suckered,” Ray replied. “Beau said the key was to make sure that you took enough to make it worth your time but not enough to make it worth their time to chase you.”

  “After news finally broke, he had to be persona non grata with these women,” I said. “The scam was dead in the water, right?”

  “It was. They were furious.”

  “Do you have names?”

  “I don’t remember any. I might be able to do some digging.”

  “Do that. Where was he living then?”

  Ray’s grin was wide. “About three months ago, Beau contacted me. He was looking to see if I had any other scams he could get in on. I didn’t, but we talked for a good ten minutes. He said he was staying at a halfway house in Detroit.”

  “A halfway house?” I flicked my eyes to Eliot, my mind busy. “That’s interesting.”

  “Isn’t it?” Ray asked. “I figured the big man here would like that information.” He lightly slapped Eliot’s arm. “Now, if we’re done, I think I’ll go back to minding my own business.”

  I wasn’t quite done with him. “Is there any scam you know of that requires a Santa suit?”

  He shook his head. “There are a hundred different scams you can run around Christmas. A Santa suit might help sell it because people trust Santa. If you’re asking if I knew what he was into specifically, I can’t help you. I’ve told you everything I can.”

  “And we appreciate it,” Eliot noted. “We’re going to need the address of that halfway house before you go.”

  “Oh, geez.” Ray sounded weary. “Fine, but I don’t want you contacting me again about Beau. I’ve given you all I have. I want peace on this.”

  “We’ll see what we can arrange,” Eliot replied. “For now, we need that address. You’re free to go after that.”

  “Thanks for being so magnanimous,” Ray drawled. “Oh, wait, that wasn’t you.”

  “You’ll live.” Eliot waited until he was out of earshot to ask the obvious. “Can you work with that?”

  “I think I can work with several parts. I just need to think.”

  “How about we think over lunch?”

  I beamed. “You read my mind.”

  9 Nine

  “What are you thinking? I can tell you’re thinking something.”

  Eliot waited until we were in his truck to ask the obvious question.

  “I don’t know.” That was the truth. I turned up the heat and held my hands in front of the vent as he waited for me to process. “I think we should go to the halfway house.”

  Eliot didn’t look thrilled at the prospect. “Every time we cross that Eight Mile threshold and head to Detroit, something terrible happens … and often to me.”

  “Name one thing.”

  “Um ... I remember a certain instance not long after we met when you and Lexie got into some trouble and I ended up hit by a car.”

  Oh, of course he would bring that up. “Name a second time.”

  “There have been ten times, and you’ve ended up in trouble a time or two, too.”

  “You don’t have to go with me.” I
was already formulating a plan. “In fact, maybe it’s better if I go down there myself. It’s likely those men will be more willing to talk to me if I’m alone.”

  He immediately started shaking his head. “Absolutely not. If you’re going down there, I’m going with you.”

  “Because you think I need a protector?”

  “Because we’re a team.” He was earnest. “Haven’t I proven that over and over?”

  “You have, but you hate it when I get into trouble.”

  “I do ... if you rush headlong into danger without me. If you take me with you, I still hate it, but I’m willing to put up with it.”

  Because I knew that was true, I simply nodded. “Standard Star Trek and Star Wars rules are in place in case these guys try to rough us up.”

  He smirked. “You have to wait until this afternoon. I can’t leave Mario in the store alone too long or he gets ideas. Yesterday he wanted to see if he could use an antique sword to stab the invisible ghost he insists lives in my office. I have relief coming later.”

  “I can make that work. I have a few ideas on some of the women Beau might’ve targeted. I’ll track them down after lunch.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  I expected him to pull out of the gun range lot, but he waited. “What?” I asked after a pause. “I thought we were going for coneys.”

  “We are. I’m just waiting for you to thank me for finding you a good source.”

  He was so full of himself. Now he was teaching me manners. “You want a thank you, do you?” I grabbed him by the back of the head and maneuvered so I was practically on his lap. Before he could question what I was doing, I slammed my mouth against his and gave him a hot kiss — which he greedily accepted. I held him close, pouring everything I had into him. When I finally pulled back, I was gratified to find him flushed ... and maybe a little sweaty.

  “Was that my thank you?” His voice was husky.

  “For now.”

  “I wouldn’t mind hearing the words, too.”

  Apparently, he did need to teach me manners after all. “Thank you ... for everything. You always come through, even when you think I’m being an idiot.”

  “Avery, I never think you’re an idiot. You’re the smartest person I know. Sometimes you’re too smart. You put that brain of yours ahead of my heart.”

  I was taken aback. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that I can’t lose you. I love you too much. If something were to ever happen to you because you lost your head while you were chasing a story ....” He trailed off and regrouped. “I don’t want you to change. We’ve been over this a million times. I love who you are. I can’t change who I am either. I want to protect you. In instances like this, we have to work together. That’s all I ask from you.”

  “You’re saying that you’re going to be with me no matter what.”

  He nodded, solemn.

  “Even if I decide to navigate an asteroid field?”

  His lips curved. “Even if.”

  “You know the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field are three-thousand-seven-hundred-and-twenty to one?”

  He tugged me tighter against him and gave me a light kiss. “Never tell me the odds ... though in this case, I’m fine with them. I’ll bet on us every time.”

  Oddly enough, I was coming to that realization myself.

  JAKE SAT IN A BOOTH STARING AT his phone in the diner. I was in mid-swing to tell Eliot I preferred Thai for a change when he grabbed my shoulders and turned me back.

  “We need things to get back to normal as soon as possible,” he whispered in my ear. “That means a lunch is in order.”

  Of course he would think that. “Or we could hide and go someplace cozy where we can grope in a corner.”

  “I’ll admit that’s a very good bribe, but I think we should be adults.”

  “Fine.” I was sulky as I trailed Eliot to the booth. I wanted him to be the one trapped on our side of the booth but he nudged me so I had no choice but to be the first one in.

  “Hey?” Jake looked surprised, but he flashed what looked to be a genuine smile. “I expected you to be out chasing your story all day. What are you doing here?”

  “Oh, I’ve already been chasing.” I shrugged out of my coat and wedged it in the corner of the booth. “I’m way ahead of you now.”

  “Oh?” Jake’s lips quirked. “What do you have?”

  “I’m not telling you until you start spilling to me. This is a symbiotic relationship. We both have to give.”

  Rather than reply, or offer up the information, Jake burst out laughing. “I take it this is your influence.” He pinned Eliot with an amused look. “You’ve been quite the influence on her.”

  “I don’t want to take credit for the things she does right,” Eliot intoned. “At a certain point, if I start preening like a peacock, I’ll have to take credit for the things she does wrong as well. She’s her own woman.”

  Jake made a face. “You’re only saying that because she doesn’t like it when you get all Neanderthal. She’s apparently taught you a few things too.”

  “She’s a wise woman,” Eliot agreed, lifting the specials menu. “Ooh. They have that skillet thing you like, Avery.”

  I snagged the menu and grinned. “Who doesn’t love eggs for lunch?”

  Before anybody could answer, a shrill shriek emanated from the corner of the restaurant where the bathrooms were located. I looked over my shoulder, expecting to find a loud group of teenagers, but instead I discovered Sabrina barreling in my direction.

  “Oh, no.”

  Jake snorted. “Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you ... your intern refused to leave. She spent two hours eavesdropping on my deputies in the lobby. She uncovered one affair, one faked mustard allergy and an underground gambling ring that consists of weekly basketball picks, something she’s threatening to report to the state.”

  Well, crap. “I’ll fix it,” I promised automatically.

  “You’d better. You’re the reason I got stuck with her in the first place.”

  I did my best to hold it together as Sabrina scurried to a stop next to the booth.

  “Where have you been?” Her tone was accusatory.

  In situations like this, it’s better to go on the offensive. “Where have you been? I waited for you outside the sheriff’s department, but you never showed up. You kept me waiting more than thirty minutes.”

  Sabrina’s mouth dropped open. “But ... I was in the lobby.” Her tone was whiny, beyond grating. “You said to listen to what the deputies said while you were in with the sheriff.”

  “I did.” I was solemn. “I also told you to wait thirty minutes and then head outside. That way it wouldn’t look obvious.”

  “But ... I didn’t hear you say that.”

  “It’s standard operating procedure when conducting business at the sheriff’s department,” I countered. “Everybody knows that.”

  “Oh.” Sabrina looked momentarily lost and I smelled victory ... right up until Eliot shot me a quelling look.

  “It’s all fine now,” Eliot offered, sliding his arm around my shoulders and gracing Sabrina with his friendliest smile. “It sounds like a case of miscommunication. There’s no reason to get worked up. We’re all good now, right?”

  Sabrina hesitated for a moment. I thought she might call me on my actions, which I would’ve respected. Instead she blew out a sigh and slid into the open spot next to Jake, who didn’t look at all happy to have her crowding him. “I guess it was some sort of weird mistake.”

  “Of course it was.” Eliot’s tone was soothing. “Avery would never try to purposely dump you. I mean ... that’s embarrassing and immature. Who would do something like that?”

  I shot him a dirty look. “Nobody I know.”

  He rubbed my shoulder and gave Sabrina a long once-over. “So, Avery says you’re new to The Monitor.”

  Sabrina nodded as she scanned the specials menu, her nose wrinkling. “It’s my dream job.�
�

  “You need to get out more,” I muttered, cringing when Eliot lightly stomped on my foot. He had enough information to make me look bad with Sabrina, something he would gladly share to teach me a lesson, so I adapted my approach. “Journalism isn’t what it used to be. Are you sure you want to put in long hours for almost no pay?”

  “I want to be a steward of truth and justice.” Sabrina wrinkled her nose. “Do they have anything Keto-friendly here?”

  Yup. I definitely wanted to hurt her. “Probably not.”

  “Well, I guess I can get a salad without cheese or dressing.”

  “That sounds ... delicious.”

  “Healthy eating is a state of mind,” she explained. “Food isn’t supposed to taste good. It’s supposed to nourish us and nothing more.”

  What a load of crap. Thankfully, the waitress picked that moment to take our orders. “I’ll have the skillet with extra sausage gravy.”

  Sabrina’s eyes went wide. “That doesn’t sound very healthy.”

  “I’ll have a large tomato juice, too,” I added.

  “That’s only slightly better.”

  I opened my mouth to say something hateful but Eliot squeezed my knee under the table. “I’ll have the blueberry pancakes with sides of sausage and bacon.”

  Jake nodded in agreement. “That sounds good. I’ll have the same.”

  Sabrina’s eyes jumped from face to face. “Wow. You guys are brave. I’m scared to die young because of clogged arteries. I’ll have the Caesar salad without dressing. No cheese or croutons and only half the chicken.”

  The waitress looked confused. “So ... you want lettuce and a little chicken?”

  Sabrina nodded. “You can add tomatoes. They’re a super food.”

  “Sure.” The waitress rolled her eyes and collected the menus. “I’ll be back in a few with your drinks.”

  Eliot’s hoped for a reconciliation lunch became an uncomfortable get-to-know-you session. Sabrina’s enthusiasm for me had apparently spilled over to the two of them as she became a nonstop question machine.

  “So, how did you and Avery meet?” she asked Eliot, offering up what I might’ve suspected to be a flirty smile under different circumstances.