The Way Back To Me (Back To Me #1)

by Anne Mercier

I blush a little at his praise. "In a small town like Destiny, it may have looked that way, but out here? I'd be a laughing stock." It's not a total lie.

  "Somehow I don't think that's the case," he tells me around a fry.

  "Let's see," I answer after swallowing a bite of my burger. "Small hick town cheerleader versus prestigious New York university cheerleader. Not even close to the same caliber." I take another huge bite of my burger and I can't hold back the moan. Cam grins. "This is so good," I say around my food.

  He tips his glass of milk to me. "Told ya. And what's the difference between you and me?"

  "I don't understand."

  "Hick town cheerleader or football player, what's the difference if they both more than make the grade to be bumped up a level or ten?" He asks.

  I reach for my milk and take a long drink. It's ice cold and I can't remember the last time I drank a glass of milk this cold.

  "This is really good, too," I confess, drawing out a dimpled smile from him. Wow. He's got dimples and I just want to take my finger and feel those divots, the stubble teasing my fingertip.

  What is wrong with me? Since when has Cameron Stone looked like that? Since when has he made butterflies go wild in my belly? Since when has he made my heart beat faster and my hands sweat? Since when?

  He lifts a brow as I stare at him. "You all right?"

  I nod and take a bite of my burger, noting there are only a couple bites left. I meet his gaze and he winks, his long dark lashes resting against his tanned skin, those jeweled eyes shining and teasing.

  Cameron Stone is potent. How did I never notice this before? Because you had Danny, dummy. Danny. Guilt seeps in but I hold it at bay and eat a spoonful of my chocolate malt.

  "I get you guys work out a lot and play hard, but how you can eat like this all the time and not be fat, I'll never understand. After eating this I've probably gained ten pounds in my ass," I joke.

  Cam smirks and I hold up my hand.

  "Don't," I say with a bit of a laugh, "I don't even want to know what perverted thoughts are going on in that dirty mind of yours."

  He laughs. "How do you know it was dirty?"

  I lift a brow. "Was it?"

  He just laughs.

  "That's what I thought. Perv."

  "I'm not a perv, Livvy. I'm a guy."

  "One and the same."

  "Touché." He picks a couple fries off of my plate and dips them into the ketchup. "You know, I forgot just how smart you really were."

  I take a sip of my soda. "Yeah, most people see the blonde hair and label me a 'dumb blonde' or a 'ditz'."

  He looks away.

  "It's fine, Cam. You're not the first and you won't be the last. I suppose my being a cheerleader didn't help that image any either," I say, shaking my head.

  "I don't know. I think cheerleaders are pretty fucking smart actually. I know they're held to the same standards as we are as far as grades are concerned and, let me tell ya, that's not so easy," he admits, eating more fries.

  "I guess since you sort of admitted you thought I was ditzy, I can admit I might have labeled you as a dumb jock," I confess.

  He lifts his brows. "Really."

  I nod. "I'm not proud of that."

  "You should know better, Livvy. Look what Danny went through to stay on the team." He looks at me apologetically.

  "It's okay to say his name, you know. It's nice to hear someone talk about him."

  Cam nods.

  "I guess I never really thought of Danny and you as the same."

  He makes a face. "We're not the same. Not at all."

  I roll my eyes even though truer words were never spoken. Where Cam is all jock and fun and games, Danny was all jock but studious and serious about so much—including me.

  "You know what I mean. I know you both play football, but you were always with a different crowd—the partiers, so that's what had me thinking of you differently than Danny. I guess I thought you'd be one of those guys who took easy courses to skate by and ensure you'd get easy grades." I immediately feel guilty when his expression goes hard and flat. I reach out to touch his hand, but he pulls away, taking a drink of his soda before I can reach it. "Cam…"

  He shakes his head. "No, no. Don't say you're sorry. Just as you don't like the stigma of being a ditzy blonde, I don't like that people think I'm stupid."

  "I'm sorry."

  He glares at me.

  I glare back. "Deal with it. I am. I didn't know you, not really, but what I did know was hard and mean and crass. It's no excuse for labeling you, but it's all I had to go on."

  He sighs. "You make a valid point and I see myself doing the same thing you did. Why can't you just let me be pissed off at you?"

  I snicker. "I don't want my date pissed off at me."

  His eyes widen for a second. "I almost forgot we were on a date."

  And I almost forgot the reason why we're on a date. Pity.

  "Can I get you anything else?" Sheila asks and I immediately groan and shake my head.

  "Two pieces of peach pie to go," Cam orders and I look at him in surprise. When Sheila walks away, he tells me, "It's not nearly as good as Ethel's, but it'll fill that void."

  I smile at him sincerely. "Thanks, Cam. A little piece of home hits the spot every now and again."

  He nods. "I understand."

  And looking at him, watching him scold me as I offer to pay my part of the bill, I think he just might understand me a little, like he said, which is a lot more than anyone else has since the night of the accident.

  CHAPTER 10

  "You made the chaos in me feel less like a violent whirling, and gave me a silence that felt like home."

  - William C. Hannan

  Cameron

  I can't believe she ate the whole damn burger. She barely touched her fries, but she needs the protein more than the carbs. Keeping the conversation going had her distracted enough for her to relax and just let go.

  "Oh my god, Cam. I'm so full," she tells me, rubbing her tiny tummy.

  "Good. I'm glad you enjoyed it." I hold the door for her and we step out into the cool night air.

  "Oh wow, brrr."

  "Here, let's get this jacket back on you," I offer, setting the bag with the pie on the hood of the truck. I hold it up for her and she slips her arms inside. I walk around to the front of her and pull it closed. Then I make the mistake of looking down into those baby blues. Her eyes always give her away and right now she's battling between what's new and what's old. That guilt she's dragging along is easing some, but it's still there weighing her down and right now I see it clearly. It's warring with the few moments of peace she's had tonight.

  "Thanks."

  I nod. "Tuck that guilt down, Livvy. You aren't doing anything wrong." She goes rigid the minute I say the words and for a few seconds I wish them back, then I realize I'm the only one who's bold enough to give her the truth.

  "You have no idea what you're talking about."

  "Olivia Brennan, you have to know they would never want you to put your life on hold." When she opens her mouth to blast me, I press my fingers against her lips. "Reverse the roles, Liv. What would you want for them?"

  Tears fill her eyes and she allows one to spill over—but only one.

  "It's hard, I can't imagine how hard but they'd want you to keep going. I honestly think if Phillip could, he would be so far up your ass you'd be breathing for him."

  She makes a face. "Phillip is the most easy going of all of us."

  "The Fab Five," I add.

  She swallows then smiles. "Yes."

  "From what I do know, they'd have all been on your case by now and Phillip would have been the last one. Tonight he'd have told you to stop your bullshit and get on with yourself."

  She laughs. "You know, that's pretty close to what I imagine he would say.

  I smile back. "I know. I knew them all, Liv. I get it."

  "Thanks for that," she tells me and I hide my surprise well when she doesn't continue to
blast me, but instead agrees and lets it go.

  "C'mere." I pull her into my embrace as she fights back those tears. This girl—no. She's a woman, and a damn strong one. So strong and she doesn't even realize it.

  I hold her close for a few minutes, then unconsciously start moving to the music. Some ballad is playing and it's calming her as is our swaying back in forth, so I keep going when she doesn't protest. We dance through the next song too and when it changes to an upbeat tune, I pull back and look down at her.

  "Okay?" I ask, pushing the stray hairs off her face.

  She nods.

  What I'd give to be able to kiss her right now. Her eyes calm, her expression serene, and as the moonlight shines down on us, her skin is a flawless porcelain. But I don't do it. We made progress tonight and one kiss would fuck it all up. If I'm going to help her find her way back, I need to keep this trust she's given me.

  Stepping back, I dig into my pocket for the keys, unlocking the truck. I open the driver's door and help her in, handing her the keys and closing the door before picking up the bag of pie and climbing in the other side.

  "Back to campus?" she asks.

  "Yep." When she maneuvers my truck out of the tiny parking lot like a pro, I can't help but ask, "Who taught you to drive?"

  Her grin lights up. "My dad. Why? Are you impressed at my skills?"

  I laugh. "I am. I thought for sure you'd hit at least one curb."

  "Pffft. Please."

  My grin stays in place as she tells me the stories of her dad's driving instructions.

  "So, he basically just handed you the keys, got in the passenger seat, and said drive?" I ask, unable to hide my surprise.

  "That's exactly what he did. No coddling, no taking it easy, just jumping in with two feet—something I'd never done before in my life," she admits.

  "Your dad's a pretty cool guy."

  "He is—unless he's your dentist and you have a cavity, then you might not think he's so cool," she laughs.

  "He's my dentist and I never feel a thing when he fills my cavities."

  "Oh, it's not the procedure, it's the lecture."

  I wince at that. "True story right there. Your dad's lectures are something I avoid at all costs which is why I brush twice a day."

  She looks at me out of the corner of her eye. "Do you floss?"

  "Occasionally."

  "Better than not at all."

  "Do you?" I ask.

  "Occasionally, like you."

  "Shame on you. Dentist's daughter who doesn't floss daily," I tease.

  "Oh bite me."

  I mimic a bite and she laughs. I would love nothing more than to bite her softly then lick away the sting. Christ. What is going on? I need to get myself in check. This is Olivia Brennan. She's a train wreck and more importantly, she's not my type. She's all about feelings and commitment and I want nothing to do with either.

  She parks in her dorm lot and turns off the ignition. I pull her out the passenger side again—well, lift her really, and she sighs in exasperation. I know if I walk around to open the driver side door, she'd be out of the truck before I got close.

  "Can I ask you something?"

  She looks at me. "Sure."

  "You and Danny went out on dates, right?"

  "We did," she answers. When we get to the elevator, she turns to me. "You know, I don't think we ever went on a date like this."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Where it was just us," she tells me, her brow furrowing. "I never thought about it until now, but we always went out with everyone. Never just us."

  "So, this kinda is your first date?"

  Her eyes widen and she looks at me. "I guess it is."

  Well, hell. We get on the elevator and wait in silence as it climbs to the third floor.

  She stops me before we get to her door. "This was a pretty great first date, Cameron Stone."

  I grin. "Yeah?"

  She nods. "I thought chivalry was dead."

  "No way. My pops taught me to always open the door for a lady," I confess.

  She gives me a sidelong glance. "I didn't see you open the door for Brittany the other day."

  I lean into her space and without breaking her gaze, I whisper, "She's no lady."

  Olivia nods. "And that's why you like her."

  I chuckle. "I don't like her." When she eyes me, I elaborate, "Not like you mean."

  Recognition sets in. "Ah. I see. I'm not sure which is worse."

  I agree. I'm not sure which disappointment is worse—the one where she curls her lip thinking I like Brit because she's easy, or the one where her eyes go flat knowing I only hang out with Brit to fuck. I'm a guy. I'm not going to apologize for fucking around—and why the hell do I feel like I owe her an explanation anyway?

  We make our way to her door and she unlocks it. I hand her the bag with her piece of pie. "Don't forget your pie and eat it before Alexa does. She's got no respect for other people's food."

  "I figured that out the first week of school when she drank the last of my coffee creamer and didn't replace it. Me without coffee in the morning? It's not pretty. Needless to say, Alexa won't make that mistake again."

  "You're kinda scary, Brennan." In so many ways.

  "Ditto that, Stone."

  I smirk. "There's a party at the frat Friday, be ready for date number two."

  "Whoa, wait a minute," she protests.

  "Problem?"

  "Yeah, there sorta is. I mean, people will think you're with me."

  "Seeing as we're on a date, I will be," I tell her, a little confused.

  "No, Cam. They'll think you're with me, with me," she explains.

  "Ah. Does it matter? If you'd rather not—"

  "I was thinking of you, Cam. I know you, uh, hook up at parties like that," she explains with a blush.

  Understanding dawns. I hold an arm out onto the doorframe, leaning in a bit toward Liv. "Listen. If I want to get laid, I'll get laid and I certainly wouldn't have asked you out on a date if that's what I was looking for."

  She crosses her arms and glares a bit. "I'm not sure if I should be relieved or insulted."

  I laugh and look heavenward. Lord, help me. "Just be, Olivia. Stop overthinking it all. Two friends going to a party together. Eventually you're going to find a guy and you'll go to parties together, right?"

  "I don't know. I hadn't thought much about dating or boyfriends until you brought it up."

  I nod. "You may not be ready next month or even next year, but at least when you are, you'll know what's up."

  "Okay. If you're sure."

  "I'm sure. Now eat that pie before my piglet of a sister sniffs it out."

  She smirks. "I plan on it. Thanks for tonight, Cam."

  "Welcome," I reply and lean in to kiss her cheek. I don't know why I do it, I just do, and so I don't have to think of what to say, I just turn and head back toward the elevator.

  I'm walking out to my truck when I see Smith leaning against it, arms cross, legs crossed at the ankles. Christ.

  "Smith."

  "How'd it go?" he asks.

  "Fine. We had food, talked, and I took her home. Is that all right with you, dad?"

  He nods. "Did you kiss her?"

  "Dude, I'm tolerating this shit because I know Liv likes you, but there's a line, man," I warn.

  "Well, did you?" he asks again, ignoring what I just said.

  "None of your damn business. Now get the fuck out of my way so I can go home and get some sleep."

  He doesn't move so I give him a shove and open my door.

  "I told you before, Smith. I'm not out to get in her pants. This is all about helping her," I tell him.

  He shakes his head. "That's such bullshit and you know it. You're into her."

  I grit my teeth. "Stay out of my business, Smith."

  "What do you think's going to happen when Brit finds out, huh? She's going to eat Olivia for lunch," he shouts.

  "You're underestimating her. Olivia Brennan can handle
herself. Brit's no match for her."

  "You better be right," he cautions.

  "I'm always right. Now fuck off," I tell him, closing my door and heading to the frat house. If Brit fucks with Olivia, there's going to be hell to pay.

  CHAPTER 11

  "Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go,

  but rather, learning to start over."

  - Nicole Sobon

  Olivia

  "How was your date with my brother?" Alexa asks.

  "That was two days ago and you're first asking now?" I reply, pouring myself some coffee.

  She holds out her mug. "I was trying to mind my own business."

  "How'd that work out for you?"

  "Not so well. Now spill."

  I sit down at the kitchen island and spoon up a wedge of my pink grapefruit. "It was surprisingly good."

  "I'm not surprised."

  I roll my eyes.

  "He is my brother and he's a lot nicer than you want to admit."

  I sigh. "He's nice, yes. I admit it. But I can't help but keep my guard up because I know what it's like to be on the wrong end of his razor sharp tongue."

  Alexa snickers.

  "Pervert. You and your brother have that in common."

  "I'm proud of that."

  "I bet you are. So, who's this guy you've been seeing?" I ask.

  She grins immediately. "I'm not really 'seeing' him."

  "Okay. Let me correct this. Who's the guy you've been seeing naked?" I wiggle my eyebrows.

  "I'm not ready to divulge that. If anything comes of it, I'll let you know," she tells me.

  "Hmm. I'm not sure I like the idea of this."

  She rolls her eyes.

  "Fine, Lex. If you're going to screw around, just be sure to guard your heart. Feelings have a way of showing up when you least expect them to," I warn.

  She nods. "I hate those damn things."

  "Agreed." I think of Cam and think I should heed my own advice.

  We sit in silence, drinking our coffee for a few minutes and I recount all the things that happened last night. I'm still as confused now as I was then.

  "How are you doing with everything?" Alexa asks.

  "That depends on what you mean by 'everything'."

  "Mostly the guilt that I know you still carry around like a lead weight. Well, that and the pain."