The Way Back To Me (Back To Me #1)

by Anne Mercier

  With a wicked smile, she does that very thing.

  "Fuck."

  She leans back, taking me deeper, lifting and lowering, her snug pussy hugging me tight.

  "You feel so good," she moans.

  I love watching her. Those eyes tell stories and the one they're telling now is all about pleasure.

  She moves slowly, rocking her hips, setting a steady pace.

  I lift my hands to her hips and she leans forward, kissing me hard and fast, her hair curtaining us away from the world.

  I urge her to move faster with my hands, faster and harder.

  Her breathing's coming as fast as mine, the pleasure so intense, and when she lifts slightly and stares in my eyes, my heart swells. What the fuck is that?

  My cock twitches, ready to let go, but I'm not. Not without her. I need to see her come again.

  I flip us over and she squeals.

  "Yeah, baby, scream for me," I tease and she laughs.

  "I thought you said I could have control?"

  "There's only so much of that I can give you before I hit my limit."

  "And you hit your limit?"

  "Mmm," I hum as I start moving inside her.

  I move slowly, so slowly, letting her feel all of me, and when she lifts her legs and wraps them around my waist, I can't hold back. I thrust harder into her, her hips slamming down to meet me. She's so perfect.

  When neither of us can take it anymore, hold myself deep inside her, tilting her hips, and start to fuck her hard and fast with shallow thrusts, searching for it, the right angle. I know when I find it, she gets wetter, tighter, and her moans louder. Her nails digging into my skin makes me groan and want to come. I love when she does that.

  "Fuck yeah, Kitten," I urge and she runs her nails down my back. I grunt in pleasure, struggling with control.

  "Cam…"

  I look at her.

  "I don't think I can come again. I want to watch you," she tells me.

  "You'll come and when you're finished, then you can watch me."

  Then I lean back on my heels, pulling her hips up, fucking her hard and deep.

  "So hot and so wet. You'll come again," I tell her.

  "Omigod," she cries out when I hit it just right and I don't change it up. I keep going, driving her higher, wanting to bring her pleasure so intense she won't forget.

  "That's it, Kitten. Meet me."

  Her hips pump against mine and with every thrust, she grinds herself against my pelvis, and my kitten's found what she needs.

  "Take it. Take what you need," I urge and she does.

  "Oh Cam. So close…"

  I plunge impossibly deeper, the headboard banging against the wall, and then she screams.

  "Fuck yeah. Scream for me, Kitten."

  I need it. I need to hear her scream my name. The sound of it sends tingles up my balls and when she clamps down around me, coming so fucking hard, I let go with her.

  I let out a groan, the pleasure so intense I feel it all the way down to my toes. Each spray of my cum stealing my breath.

  I watch her watching me, her eyes wet with unshed tears, and when I'm done, I lower myself on top of her.

  "Holy fuck," I say against her neck.

  She nods and I hear a sniffle.

  "You okay?" I ask, pulling back to look at her.

  "Mhmm. I'm just being a girl," she answers, but it seems like more.

  "Hey, hey. Did I hurt you?"

  "No, no, oh Cam. Nothing like that."

  "Then what is it, Liv? Tell me."

  She pauses, her eyes bouncing between mine. She's unsure. I wish she'd realize she doesn't have to be.

  "It was just really intense," she whispers.

  I nod. "It was. It's okay to talk about it. If it overwhelms you, hold onto me. That's what I’m here for."

  She nods and pulls me down onto her.

  I hold her tight and wonder when she realized she loves me?

  CHAPTER 18

  "Everyday is a new beginning. Take a deep breath and start again."

  - Ritu Ghatourey

  Olivia

  I'm totally gone over Cameron Stone. Beyond saving and I'm okay with it—or I will be after I talk to that one person. I owe it to all of us to put the past behind the present and future, but I can't do that without going home.

  Cam rolls off me and gets rid of the condom.

  "I'm really glad you remember the condoms, because I certainly don't. Once you touch me I can't think," I confess and he grins, all proud of himself.

  "Yeah?"

  I nod. He puffs his chest and I laugh.

  "Weirdo."

  "So you keep saying."

  He pulls me into his arms and it feels so good.

  "Olivia, I need to tell you something," he tells me again. I'd cut him off before, but now there's no distracting him. I don't know what it is, if it's good or it's bad, but I'm positive it's going to have something to do with love and I want to hold him off until I get things settled.

  "It's not bad, I promise," he begins, and then I know there's no stopping him.

  "Okay," I whisper.

  "That night of the accident, word spread like wildfire. Everyone went to the hospital to see if…" he breaks off.

  I nod.

  "I got there and your parents latched onto me like a lifeline. I'm not sure why me, but it was okay. I wanted to know how you were. All we'd heard was not everyone made it."

  "Your mom was a wreck. She couldn't decide if she wanted to cry or hurt someone. Your dad was solid."

  "My dad's a rock until it's over. Then he's a marshmallow."

  "Yeah. I can see that. Must be where you get it from. You did the same with Simon."

  I nod. "I guess I did."

  "Anyway, the doctor came out and told the other parents and the room filled with grief. Your mom stood there like she was waiting her turn, but I still saw that small spark of hope that you'd made it."

  Hearing this is both healing and tormenting. I need this. Somehow he realized that.

  "They came over and said you were in surgery and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I thought I was going to pass out from relief. It was bizarre. We stood tall with your mom who cried and they led us up to where they could find us easier."

  "We got there and your mom and dad finally sat down."

  "Wait! They let you go with my parents?" I ask, more than a little surprised.

  "Your mom insisted. She lied and said I was your brother," he tells me with a chuckle.

  "That is so gross," I reply. "Eww."

  He laughs.

  "I know you've always gotten along with my dad, what with football and all, him helping coach, but my mom isn't usually like that."

  "I don't know. Maybe she just needed more than just your dad. Who knows? She was worried and nothing your dad did helped. She was worried you were going to die in surgery. But finally after I don't even know how many hours, the doctors came out and let us know you were okay."

  He stops and looks at me, pulling me to a sitting position so we're cross-legged facing one another, holding hands.

  "That's when I knew, Liv."

  "Oh boy," I blurt out. This is going to be big. I know it and I'm not ready—well, I am but I have things to do first. Crap.

  He nods. "That's what I thought: Oh boy. Then your mom dragged me in to see you and I couldn't breathe. So many tubes and wires. They reassured us by telling us you were breathing on your own, just asleep from the surgery. They said they were going to keep you under for a couple days because of all the trauma to your body."

  He swallows, looking down.

  "That's when they listed off everything wrong. Your mom didn't cry. She said you were alive and any injuries would heal in time—that we were lucky. I didn't know what to say or do, so I sat quietly in the corner and just stared at you. I thought of all the things I'd said to you over the years and none of them were nice."

  He looks up at me now, I can see the remorse and I wa
nt to tell him it's okay, but truthfully, it's not. Those words were weapons and they hurt back then. He knows it. He figured it out in that room and he also figured out he needs to make it right.

  Is that what this is about? Me and him? Making things right?

  "None of them were true either. I didn't know you and I misjudged you. My only excuse, not that any are acceptable, is that I was an angry kid at someone who acted like you in public—all happy and fun, but then turned into a monster in private. So much hatred and ugliness."

  "No one knew what you'd been through or what you'd seen that night, but I knew it was bad. I just knew when I looked at you. There was a sadness there, maybe an emptiness, I hadn't even seen before. When your mom and dad went to go grab a sandwich, I stayed because she asked."

  "I sat next to the bed and held your hand. I figured I was safe. You were out for the night so you couldn't smack me," he says wryly.

  I snicker.

  "I watched you sleep—watched you breathe. Your chest rose and fell steadily and I felt okay again even though you were ripped apart inside and out."

  "I knew then, Liv, that you weren't fake. You really were that good girl who was happy and friendly to everyone. You weren't after something by doing it and you didn't change behind closed doors. Damn near the whole town was there for you. Well, you and the others, but even when they knew the others didn't make it, they stuck around for you. No one's that good. You can't fake it for that many people and not slip up."

  "I wished so hard that night that I could take back every cruel word, every second of humiliation you felt because of me."

  "He turns his head and looks me straight on. "Then it struck me, and I was pretty confused until I worked it all out."

  "What did?" I ask, confused myself.

  "You let me do that. You let me say those things to you and corner you and you never once fought back. Here you were, lying in this hospital bed, fighting like a motherfucker in spite of all the loss you'd just faced, and you never said a single word in retaliation to me. Never."

  I nod and he takes a deep breath.

  "I realized then, you'd figured me out. You may not have known why I did what I did, but you knew I chose you for a reason."

  He leans forward, his forehead touching mine.

  "You knew me then. You just let me get my anger and frustration out by yelling at you—why, Liv? Why did you just take that from me?"

  "Just like you said, Cam. I knew you were angry. God, you were so angry—and scary. Sometimes the hate in your eyes scared me so much I nearly peed my pants. Literally. But that was before I realized it wasn't really me you were yelling at. The Fab Five all asked me why I didn't fight back. I just told them to let it alone, and they did. I never told anyone. I just kept quiet because somehow it helped you," I confess.

  "Jesus," he says, tilting his head back and running his fingers through his hair. "You really are that sweet. Even when people do you wrong."

  I shrug. "Sometimes I bite back but only when I know it's warranted. Otherwise, it just gets me all ticked off for no good reason."

  "I don't know how you turned out to be such a good person, Liv, but I'm grateful and I'm so fucking sorry. I will never be able to makeup for all those cruel things I said and I want you to know, I mean really know, that if I could take them all back, I would. I couldn't see past myself. I wasn't really looking. I'm so sorry," he pleads.

  "Cam. Stop."

  He's kissing my hands.

  "We're okay. Apology accepted. Thank you for telling me all that."

  He nods then leans in and presses his lips softly against mine.

  "I don't know how or when, but somewhere between me hating you and you hating me, I fell in love with you."

  My eyes get wide, my heart beats a million miles an hour, my mouth opening and closing like a fish. Panic sets in and it's real.

  "You can't. You don’t…" I tell him and he narrows his eyes.

  "Are you kidding me? This is what you're going to do? Panic?" he bites out.

  "I-I…"

  He gives me a look. "Don't. Just… don't." He's out of bed in a flash, getting his clothes on before I can even find my robe. He slips his shoes on without tying them and heads out the door.

  "Cam!"

  "Don't, Olivia."

  "You can't love me," I tell him, lost in my panic.

  He leans in, his face right in front of mine. "I can and I do."

  "But you're you and I'm me!" I argue. I've lost all sense of reason. I know he can love me and he does and I love him right back, but somehow panic, knowing what this all means, the attention it's going to bring to me at school—especially during his football games—and I have to go… before I can talk about this.

  "Yep. I'm me. Cameron Stone. And you're Olivia Brennan. And I love you. Christ, Liv! Are you stuck in the past that far that you can't see it? It's not like I kept it a secret. Are you going to live in the past forever?" he asks, his eyes revealing the hurt though his tone holds the anger.

  "No, Cam. I'm not. I just…" I look down and shake my head. I can't tell him what's holding me back. That's mine and mine alone. Something I have to get through.

  His lips thin and he nods. "When you're ready to admit you love me back—because I fucking know you do—you come find me."

  He closes the door with a soft click and I almost wish he'd slammed it. Then it would cancel out the hard beats of my heart—the pain lancing through it knowing I hurt him.

  I go to my room and text Alexa.

  Me: Come home now. Please.

  And then I get in the shower and work up a plan in my head.

  ***

  Ten minutes later Alexa walks through the door. I'm already showered and dressed.

  "You're lucky I wasn't getting laid," she teases. Then she sees my face, puffy from crying, devoid of makeup, and gives me a hug. "What happened?"

  I blurt it out in some long ramble while I brush my hair and begin packing a bag.

  "Okay. So he's mad. But where are you going?" she asks.

  "He's not mad, he's incredibly hurt. And I can't blame him. But right now, I have something I have to do and I need to do it alone," is all I tell her.

  "That's not vague or anything."

  "I'll be back really late Sunday."

  "You have classes today. You never miss class," she protests.

  "I have to. This can't wait."

  "But Cam can?" she asks.

  I sigh. "This is for him, too."

  "What is for him? I'm so confused."

  "I'll tell you when I get back, okay?" I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder, tucking my phone in my purse and grabbing my keys.

  "Where are you going?"

  "It doesn't matter. I'll be back Sunday night. If… he won't, but if Cam asks, I'll be back Sunday."

  "He won't ask. He's a stubborn ass."

  "Don't tell him either. I'll see him when I get back," I vow.

  I just hope it's not too late.

  CHAPTER 1

  9

  "I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you.

  I saw that you were not so perfect and I loved you even more."

  - Angelita Lim

  Cameron

  She panicked. Of all the reactions I thought I'd get, that wasn't it. I braced myself for straight denial and her using Danny as an excuse, but panic? Why the fuck is she panicking?

  I get it. I'm fucking scared as hell, but to freak and then tell me I can't and don't love her? Fuck her. Fuck it all.

  I spent the last two hours pumping iron at the fitness center. I needed to work off some of this frustration or I knew I'd end up hitting someone.

  "I don't need this shit," I mutter, grabbing a beer from the refrigerator.

  "What shit don't you need?" Brax asks.

  "Fucking women," I tell him then pop the top on the beer.

  "Uh-oh. What's up?"

  "I don't fucking get it, man. I just don't get it. She knew. I know she knew, but she fucking panick
ed, like she was caught or trapped or something," I ramble.

  "What did she know?"

  I give him a look and recognition dawns.

  "Told her you loved her, huh? Well, this ain't gonna help you, bro," he tells me, taking the beer and pouring it down the drain.

  "You know there are more where that came from."

  "But that's not what you need right now, Stoney. You need to find that woman and figure out what the fuck because, dude, I see what you two have. It's the start of something good."

  "Then why was she denying it all? Is she still caught up in the past that deep that she'll never come out?" I ask him.

  "Only she can answer that, but I don't think that's what's going on here. It's gotta be something more because she looks at you the same way you look at her," he tells me.

  I nod. "I'm so fucking confused. She frustrates the hell out of me."

  Brax chuckles. "Relationships, bro. No one said they're easy."

  I snort. "Exactly why I swore I'd never be in one. How the hell did I let this happen?"

  "I think maybe it started before either of you realized," a voice says from the kitchen door.

  "What the fuck do you want, Smith?"

  "I'm not here to fight, man. Alexa called me freaking out because Liv took off," Sebastian informs me.

  "Where the fuck did she go?" Now it's my turn to panic.

  "I'm not sure. Lex would've told you herself but she promised Liv she wouldn't tell you anything. All she told Lex was she had to take care of something before she could leave the past in the past and move on to the present and future or some shit like that," Smith says.

  "What the fuck does that mean?" Brax asks.

  "I don't fucking know!" I shout.

  "Dude," Sebastian begins, "you know a girl like that doesn't fu—"

  He cuts himself off at my glare.

  "Let me rephrase. You know a girl like that doesn't sleep with a guy unless she loves him, right?"

  "I thought that, but she panicked. It was like I was boxing her in a corner. I thought she was there with me, you know? Yeah, it's fast, but it doesn't feel fast." And now I'm blabbering like a chick.

  We move to the table and take a seat, Brax bringing over some waters for us and I smirk.