The Way Back To Me (Back To Me #1)

by Anne Mercier

  "What are you gonna do?" Brax asks.

  "There's nothing to do. I don't know where she is and I don't think she wants me around right now," I murmur.

  "When did you become a pussy, Stone?" Smith asks.

  "You're on thin ice as it is, saying that shit to Olivia, so watch yourself," I warn.

  He shakes his head. "I'm serious. You're not going after her? Are you fucking kidding me? You'll defend her and fight for her—against me, but not against her? That shit don't make sense, man."

  I just stare. "What do you expect me to do?"

  "Let's figure it out. Where would she go?" he asks.

  Brax leans forward. "She said something about the past before the future?"

  Smith nods.

  "Where would she go to set the past to rights?" Brax asks.

  "Fuck!" I shout, standing up so fast the chair tips over.

  Brax stands with me. "What?"

  "She went home. She went to say goodbye," I tell them, shaking my head at my stupidity. "I should've known she'd need to do this first. That's Olivia."

  "You going after her?" Smith asks.

  "Yep. She's got a couple hours on me but she drives like my grandma and Destiny is our town. I know where she's going to go," I tell them with a grin.

  "Go get your shit and get the fuck out of here," Dekker says from the doorway where he's leaning with his arms crossed.

  "Yeah," Brax agrees. "Get the fuck out of here."

  I laugh. "I'm going."

  Hell yeah. I'm going to get my girl.

  CHAPTER 2

  0

  "And after I spent what felt like an eternity drowning,

  you taught me to breathe."

  - Unknown

  Olivia

  It doesn't surprise me that it's raining. It fits my mood. I think back to all the times Cameron offered his umbrella—even when he knew I wanted to punch him.

  I pull onto the tiny road, finding where I need to go easily. I turn off the engine and sigh. Here's that fork in the road I knew I'd get to eventually. If I go one way, I'll be stuck here forever, living in the past but not really living. If I go the other way, I move forward in the present toward an unknown future but a future nonetheless.

  He wouldn't want me to stay in the past. None of them would.

  I step out of the SUV and walk over the green grass. The flowers are splashes of color on a day of gloom, but then again it takes that gloom, that rain, to keep that color alive and blooming.

  My heart thumps hard as I near the large marble stone—the permanent one where the temporary one had been placed. It's beautiful.

  I turn to face it.

  Daniel Jacob Davidson

  March 3, 1998 – May 23, 2016

  Loved By Many, Gone Too Soon

  "Hi Danny," I begin, sitting on the wet grass, crossing my legs. "I've been away at college, but you already know that. I think you all do. I think Simon was telling the truth when he said you all would watch over me and that I'd never be alone."

  My breath hitches and the tears begin to fall.

  "It hurts that you—all of you—aren't here. I miss you so much." I sigh. "I came here to tell you something and I hope you'll understand."

  "You remember Cameron Stone?" I snort. "I can hear your vulgar answer. Well, I'm rooming with his sister, Alexa. You remember Lex. She used to hang with us when we were little until she became a brainiac."

  I pick a piece of grass and run it between my fingers over and over.

  "Anyway, somehow we're all running in the same circles. They took me to a couple parties and Cam walked me home. Remember when I told you there was more to him and to just leave him alone? I know now it's true."

  "I'm not going to tell you his secrets, but I will tell you that you'd understand him a lot better now, here at college. He's not the same here. He's still an asshole," I say with a laugh, wiping my nose with my sleeve.

  "I finally stood up to him. I think you'd have laughed because I totally lost it. I got up in his face screaming, poking his chest," I shake my head. "It wasn't my finest moment."

  "Then something happened, Danny. It's something I think maybe might have been happening for a while. I started to like him—but let me talk about school first."

  "It's so big, like another world. There are so many buildings for all the different majors. We wouldn't have been in any of the same classes, maybe not even in the same dorm. Our lives would have been so different—all five of us going our own way. Eventually we would have found a group that wasn't so hard to connect with, one where we fit in, and with people we saw all the time. Like I have now."

  I swallow, blinking away a raindrop that landed on my eyelash.

  "Even if… even if we would have gotten married, we wouldn't have made it, Danny. If you're following me around like Simon said you would be, then you know it too. But, Danny, if we're honest with each other and ourselves, we weren't going to stay together much longer. We fought all the time and got on each other's nerves. I think you wanted to date other girls and I can't blame you for that. We loved each other, but we weren't in love. Not the way we pretended to be."

  "And, Danny, I'm tired of pretending. I don't like cheerleading. I love watching football games and when I'm there, I want to see what's going on. I'm a nerd. I'd sooner be on a debate team than a cheer squad. I know I should have told you, but you already knew. All of you knew. You just ignored it because if you didn't, we'd have separated sooner. Phil didn't want to play sports either. He'd have rather done art, painting, or maybe theater. He'd have been good at that."

  "We grew up together, playing together as babies, kids, and I think we all clung to each other here—even when we didn't click anymore. I love you all, please don't think I don't. But we should have been ourselves and, if we were as good of friends as we thought we were, my being on debate team shouldn't have mattered. Phil doing theater wouldn't have mattered. We would have supported one another—so why were we so afraid to let each other be who we wanted to be?"

  "We couldn't be the Fab Five forever, no matter how hard we tried. We're individuals and we behaved like a unit. In some ways, that was amazing. In others, not so great."

  "I love you, Danny. I always will but as a best friend—not a boyfriend. I know you didn't love me like a girlfriend either. It was just natural and we became a habit. I don't regret a minute of it," I tell him honestly, a sob cracking my voice.

  "I would never regret you—any of you."

  "There's a reason I'm telling you all this and I'm getting there. You know I'm a blabber mouth." I sigh. "You all probably think I'm breaking up with you or something. That's not the case at all. You're always with me. Always. You have to know that. I hope you do."

  "But I have to move forward and start living. I can hear Simon yelling at me, telling me he already said that, I just don't want you to think I'll forget you—especially Cassidy. You're the one I shared all my secrets with—the ones about Danny." I laugh, knowing Danny would give us a look wondering just how much I told her.

  "She knows it all, Danny. Deal with it."

  "Okay, okay. I keep getting off track. Let me circle back to the beginning. Cameron Stone. He's been there, like everywhere, and he's been nice to me. I couldn't understand him. I wondered what he was up to for the longest time. Then I realized, he wanted to help me heal. He and I still fought, don't get me wrong. I don't think that's ever going to change, except now I fight back."

  "He hurt me, not physically, but he said something asshole-ish to me one night. He regretted it. I could tell, but my heart wasn't whole yet so I wasn't ready to forgive so easily this time. He kept coming around. At first I'd go into my room to avoid him. But after a couple of times I just stayed in the living room, doing what I was doing. Truth is, I liked having him around."

  "He came up with this BS story about how he needed help with statistics," I snort. "He new what he was doing. It was just a ploy—and it worked. After a few weeks, he asked me something I hadn't thought abou
t. He asked me if I was planning on dating. I panicked. I didn't know how to date. Danny, we didn't date. All of us dated and that doesn't count."

  "He asked me if I wanted to go out on dates with him—fake dates. That flashing warning sign went off for me, but we went. And somewhere along the line I started to really like him. And then one night we kissed and I knew it was more than that."

  I let out a shaky breath.

  "I love him… I mean really love him. The kind of 'in love' a couple's supposed to have—with passion and trust, love and lust. We have that. And today—well, last night, he told me he's in love with me, and I hurt him. I panicked because I knew I couldn't move forward until I talked to you—all of you. I need you to know that just because I'm going to move forward, I won't forget the past. I'll carry you all in here," I say placing a hand over my heart. "No one can ever touch the Fab Five."

  "So, that's what I needed to say and I hope you're all okay with it. I'm sorry if you're not. This is what I need to do."

  "I think they'd understand, Olivia. I know Danny would," Mrs. Davidson says behind me.

  "Oh, Mrs. D," I cry out, standing up to hug her tight. "I will always love him."

  "I know you will, my girl," she reassures, crying with me.

  "You'll always be my mom," I whisper through my tears.

  "And you'll always be my daughter," she pulls back to smile at me and wipe her cheeks. She looks so much like Danny I can't hold in my smile.

  "Cameron Stone is a good boy, Livvy. He's not had an easy life and he needs a strong girl like you to help him get past that just as you need as strong man to help you get past what you've been through," she tells me with a pat on my back. "I won't keep you. I just knew they put the new stone in today and wanted to see it for myself."

  "It's beautiful. The angels… four. It's perfect."

  "It turned out just the way I hoped. Call me sometime and let me know how you managed to patch up things with Cameron. You've made a mess of it, haven't you?" she says.

  I nod.

  "You'll figure it out. You always do."

  I plop back down onto the grass after watching her walk away. I wasn't expecting Mrs. D to be here. I'm glad she was, though. I'd planned to go over there later after I showered.

  "I don't know if you can give me a sign letting me know you're okay with everything I've told you. I don’t know. It's just important to me that you all know. I love him and he loves me. It's a start right?"

  "A pretty fucking good one," a voice says from behind me.

  My heart soars. "Cam?"

  I stand up and turn around. There he is. My savior. My lover. The man I love.

  "Who else would rescue you from yourself?" he teases.

  "How did you know where I was?"

  He steps forward, lifting his umbrella over me, the rain falling around us. "I know you, Liv. I should have known sooner, but it took me a minute to get past my ego." He smirks.

  "I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, but I had to… talk to them," I say with the wave of my arm.

  He nods. "That's part of why I love you. You always take care of everyone, but what do you say you let me start taking care of you now?"

  I grin. "I think I'd like that. How long have you been here?"

  He shrugs. "A while."

  "And Mrs. D didn’t see you? Where you were you?" I ask.

  "Behind that tree and I'm pretty sure she saw me, she just didn't give me away," he tells me.

  I look around, not seeing his truck.

  "How did you get here?"

  "I drove. Brax and Dekker are driving back right now—with Smith."

  "What?" my eyes widen in surprise. "How did that happen?"

  "He's the one who helped me figure out where you were."

  I let out a breath. "Well. Who knew?"

  Cam chuckles.

  "I have to tell you something," I tell him and he doesn't waver. He stands there so strong and so sure. He's everything I never knew I wanted.

  "What is it?"

  "I just thought you should know that I'm in love with you. Like that deep down scary stuff that I'd expect you to run from," I confess.

  His smile is blinding. "I'm not going anywhere, Livvy. I love you too. Just like that."

  He wraps me up in his arms, the umbrella smacking me in my back, but I don't care. His lips press against mine softly, so softly I can barely feel it.

  "Now what do you say we get out of this rain?" he asks.

  "That sounds like a great idea."

  He lifts the umbrella, shielding us both from the rain.

  "Finally she gets under my umbrella," he jokes.

  "I'll have you know, I don't get under just anyone's umbrella," I tease.

  "You better not. Mine better be the only umbrella you get under," he tells me, pulling me close again and dipping me before kissing me deeply, hungrily, filling me with warmth and happiness.

  This is love.

  This is love with Cameron Stone—my savior and the boy who helped me find the way back to me.

  Epil

  ogue

  "Something wicked this way comes."

  - Ray Bradbury

  Olivia

  "Omigod, Cam!" I cry out as he thrusts into me, sending me over the edge into the abyss of pleasure only he can take me to.

  "Come for me, Kitten," he growls as he pumps into me hard and fast. He lets out a groan and he slows down, his movements jerky as he finds his own release. I keep moving my hips, drawing out his pleasure just as he does for me.

  "Holy fuck," he breathes out. "You're so fucking good at that."

  "I was just thinking the same thing about you."

  Our breathing is ragged as we cuddle together.

  "You're going to kill me one of these times, Kitten. Those nails clawing my back and your pussy squeezing my cock," he shakes his head.

  "If I'm too much for you…" I tease.

  He pulls me closer, nuzzling my neck, and tickling me.

  "Bully!" I cry and he chuckles.

  "Not anymore." He looks down at me with so much love, it almost doesn't seem real. "I love you, Olivia."

  "I love you, Cameron."

  He kisses me softly, so softly. I love when he kisses me like this.

  "I have something for you," he tells me with a grin.

  "You do?" I perk up.

  "Mhmm." He digs in his nightstand drawer and pulls out a flat rectangular box.

  We sit cross-legged facing one another, his knees touching mine. When he hands it to me and I can't stop my smile.

  "What is it?"

  His knee bumps mine. "Open it and see."

  I look down at the box, then up at him, then back down. I open the box revealing a silver umbrella necklace. The raindrops are sapphires and the umbrella is green with emeralds, the pole a row of diamonds.

  "Cameron," I whisper.

  "You said my eyes reminded you of emeralds that day…"

  I nod. "And you said mine reminded you of sapphires."

  He nods back.

  "And the diamonds are because you're my kitten," he tells me with a smile, taking the box from me and pulling out the necklace. I turn around, lifting my hair for him to put it on.

  "This way," he says, working to fasten the clasp, "you'll always have my umbrella to cover you. No more punishing rain for you."

  "Oh Cam, this is…" I break off and sniffle, turning to throw myself at him, hugging him close. "It's perfect."

  "I'm glad you like it, Kitten."

  "I love it!" I kiss him again, starting to heat things up. I can never get enough of him and I hope he can never get enough of me.

  There's a knock at the door and I snicker when he curses.

  "Five more minutes and I'd have had to cut a bitch," I say and Cam laughs.

  "I'd have been buried deep inside you and then they could have fucked off," he replies, pulling his boxer briefs and jeans on.

  This is only the third time I've been in his bedroom at the frat house and, wh
ile the privacy isn't the greatest, I like hanging with the guys and their girlfriends—or whatevers.

  I pull Cam's t-shirt over my head and he opens the door.

  "Hello Cameron," a silky female voice says and I stiffen.

  "Alison? What the fuck are you doing here?" he asks, his tone not at all welcoming.

  "I go to school here now, silly. Aren't you happy to see me?"

  Alison. Cam's first girlfriend. A witch worse than Brittany.

  This is going to be fun.

  The W

  ay Back To Me Playlist

  Spotify

  Without You - Mariah Carey

  Hero - Mariah Carey

  One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men

  Ashes & Wine - A Fine Frenzy

  My Immortal - Evanescence

  Breathe(2 AM) - Anna Nalick

  Try - Colbie Caillat

  Snuff - Slipknot

  Broken - Lifehouse

  Never Be The Same - Red

  I Can’t Love You Back - Easton Corbin

  It Only Hurts - Default

  The Memory Will Never Die - Default

  A Little Bit Stronger - Sara Evans

  Alone In This Bed(Capeside) - Framing Hanley

  Send The Pain Below - Chevelle

  18 Days - Saving Abel

  Same Damn Life - Seether

  Alive - Adelitas Way

  I Hate You - Sick Puppies

  Angel - Theory of a Deadman

  Start of Something Good - Daughtry

  Clarity - Zedd, Foxes

  City of Angels - Thirty Seconds To Mars

  Never Be The Same - Red

  Rescue Me - Daughtry

  Insensitive - Jann Arden

  Nobody Knows - The Tony Rich Project

  Drowning(Face Down) - Saving Abel

  I’d Come For You - Nickelback

  Heaven[Little by Little] - Theory of a Deadman

  Wait For Me - Theory of a Deadman

  Easy To Love You - Theory of a Deadman

  Learn My Lesson - Daughtry

  Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri