Lily's Story: The Complete Saga

by Christine Kersey

  All at once Marcus’s face seemed to sag. He walked around to the side of the bed closest to where I sat and knelt on the floor. “I’m sorry, Lily. That was uncalled for.”

  Still stung by what he obviously believed I was capable of, I wasn’t so ready to forgive him. “Do you really think I’d do that to you?”

  “No, of course not.” He reached out to stroke my arm, but I pulled it out of his grasp.

  “Then why would you say that to me?”

  He clasped his hands together and rested them on the edge of the bed. “I’m stressed, I’m tired, and your announcement caught me off-guard.” He frowned. “I know that’s no excuse, but that’s why I lashed out.” His face softened. “I’m sorry, Lily. I know you would never do something like that to me.”

  But even as he spoke, a flicker of doubt crossed his face.

  I gazed at him a moment. “I have a busy day ahead of me, and I’m tired. Would you please put Natalie to bed?”

  Sadness filled his eyes. “Of course.” Then he stood.

  With Jackson in my arms, I pushed myself off of the bed. Marcus stood where I needed to go. “I’m going to put Jackson down.”

  “Sorry.” He stepped aside and I passed him, then went into the room the children shared. After I put Jackson down, I got ready for bed, then climbed under the sheets. As I waited for Marcus to join me, my anger seeped away and I wanted to tell him I wasn’t angry anymore, but I fell asleep before he ever came back into our room, and he left for work before I woke.

  When it was time to leave for my new job the next morning, Trish smiled and said, “Good luck. I’m sure you’ll do great.”

  “Thanks.” Then I smiled mischievously. “Enjoy the peace and quiet while we’re gone.”

  She laughed. “Oh, I will.”

  At the day care, Natalie was less than thrilled to be left with strangers. With Jackson still in my arms, I knelt in front of her. “Mommy will be right next door, sweetie.” I swept my arm toward the toys in the room. “Look at all the fun toys you can play with.”

  “Mommy stay here,” she said as she sobbed and clung to my arm.

  I hadn’t bargained for this separation anxiety—on both our parts—but was grateful Marcus wasn’t here to witness it. I could picture him standing with arms crossed and an “I told you so” expression on his face.

  “It will be fine, Lily,” Rochelle, the worker in the toddler room, told me as she gently unwound Natalie’s fingers from my arm.

  Once I was free, I smiled unsteadily at Natalie’s tear-streaked face, then hurried from the room. “One down,” I murmured, “and one to go.” Then I went into the infant room where Jackson would stay.

  Though he preferred me over anyone else, he ended up being perfectly happy to let Katherine, the worker for the infants’ room, take him.

  I was assigned to the preschoolers’ room, primarily because my own children weren’t in there, and I threw myself into playing with the children and helping out wherever I was needed. Occasionally I managed to peek in on Natalie and Jackson and saw that they were perfectly fine, which set my mind at ease.

  At the end of my shift—which had flown by—Cindy pulled me aside. “How did your first day go?”

  “Really well,” I said.

  “You’re a natural with the children, and they seem quite comfortable with you.”

  “Thanks. They’re all so adorable.”

  “I know. And I’m glad to hear you say that.” She laughed. “I’ve had new workers nearly fall down from exhaustion after working a day here, but you don’t seem all that tired.”

  I laughed. “What’s exhausting is keeping my two entertained all day at my in-law’s house.” I grimaced. “Well, it’s my house too, at least for now. But it’s not the same as my own place.”

  She touched my arm. “I understand.” With a smile, she said, “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

  A short time later Natalie, Jackson, and I were headed back home.

  Chapter 16

  “What did you do today?” Marcus asked Natalie when he got home from work. He glanced at me with a small smile, then turned his attention to Natalie.

  “I play with toys,” she said excitedly.

  “Oh, you did?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you make any new friends?”

  She nodded happily, and again I was glad Marcus hadn’t witnessed her near-meltdown when I’d had to initially leave her.

  “That’s good,” he said, then he faced me. “How was your first day?”

  “Great. And as you can see, the kids survived.” I don’t know why I was feeling so snarky, but I couldn’t seem to help myself.

  “I never said they wouldn’t,” he said.

  “No. You just implied it.”

  “Well, if that’s the impression you got,” he said as he put his arms around me, “then I’m sorry. That’s certainly not what I meant to say.”

  I leaned against him, relishing his warmth and strength despite my earlier snarkiness. “I’m sorry, Marcus. I don’t know why I’m acting so childish.”

  He kissed me, then smiled. “It’s okay. You’ve been a trooper through all of this, and I appreciate it.”

  While I’d outwardly been a trooper, inside I was still unhappy with our current housing arrangement. Not only that, but now I was spending half the day away from our children. True, it had been my choice—but it was a choice I’d felt I’d had to make.

  I didn’t reply to Marcus’s comment, but instead asked, “How was your day?”

  “Good.” He smiled, though he looked tired.

  “Are you enjoying this? You know, getting your own business off the ground?”

  His smile faltered a bit. “It has its ups and downs. But I’m really looking forward to the ups.”

  He was trying so hard. Guilt sliced through me at the lukewarm support I’d been giving him. “At least the money I’ll be earning will buy us more time,” I said.

  “You don’t have to do that. You know that, right?”

  “Do what?”

  “Go to work. It’s enough work to take care of our two rug rats, don’t you think?”

  “Oh, there’s no doubt about that.” I didn’t want to argue with him any longer. “Are you hungry?”

  “I’m always hungry.” He glanced toward the kitchen. “Something smells delicious. Do you know what it is?”

  “Your mom told me she had it handled, so I have no idea what she made.” Though I preferred to be in my own kitchen, I had to admit that it was nice not to have to make dinner most nights.

  Once we were all seated around the dining room table and had begun eating, I turned to Trish. “Did Greta behave for you today?” When I’d gotten home from work I’d immediately been busy with the children, and hadn’t had a chance to ask her.

  “I’m getting used to her,” she said.

  Trish had fed Greta for me when I’d lived next door and had gone on the Alaskan cruise, so it wasn’t the first time she’d been responsible for her. Of course this was the first time she’d been responsible for Greta while Greta had been at her house.

  I couldn’t tell what Trish really thought, and hoped seeing to Greta’s needs while I was gone wasn’t too much trouble. “Well, I appreciate it.” I smiled. “I’ll bet you enjoyed the peace and quiet while we were gone.”

  Trish laughed. “It was certainly a lot more quiet than I’ve gotten used to lately, but I didn’t mind it.”

  “Well, I for one,” Jeff began, “enjoy having the extra action that the kids bring.”

  Though appreciative of his support, I laughed. “That’s because you’re gone all day.”

  “Yeah, Jeff,” Trish said, then she smiled at me.

  After Marcus and I had put the children to bed, Marcus told me he was going to tell his parents that Rick had bailed on him and Jason.

  “Okay,” I said, curious what had prompted him to tell them now.

  “I just thought they should know,” he said, apparently reading m
y mind.

  “Why didn’t you tell them sooner?”

  A small frown pulled down the corners of his mouth. “I suppose I didn’t want the news to make them doubt the potential success of my new firm.” He gazed at me a moment, as if he was wondering if the news had made me doubt the potential success of his new firm.

  I smiled. “I’m sure they’ll be supportive.”

  He nodded, evidently satisfied with my response.

  The four of us gathered in the living room, with me sitting beside Marcus on the couch while his parents sat across from us.

  “What’s going on?” Trish asked after Marcus had invited her and Jeff to discuss something with us.

  “I thought you should know that one of my partners—Rick— has decided to pull out of the firm.”

  “Oh?” Jeff said. “Why’s that?”

  “He said it was putting too much strain on his marriage.”

  Both Trish and Jeff’s gaze slid to me before going back to Marcus.

  “I’m sure it’s stressful,” Jeff said, then paused. “What does this mean for you?”

  Marcus laughed. “One less person to make decisions.”

  “What about Jason?” Trish asked. “The other partner? Do you think he’ll eventually pull out too?”

  A shiver of worry slid up my spine at that idea. That was all we needed—for the entire business to fall on Marcus’s shoulders.

  “He seems just as committed as me,” Marcus said.

  “Are you willing to take money from investors?” Jeff asked as he rested his forearms on his thighs.

  “We’re not actively pursuing investors, but we’re not opposed to it.” His eyebrows creased. “Why? Do you know someone who’d like to invest?”

  Jeff glanced at Trish before meeting Marcus’s gaze. “We would.”

  “That’s not necessary,” Marcus immediately said.

  Jeff laughed. “I know it’s not necessary, and we’re not doing it out of charity. We believe in you, Marcus. We’re doing this so that our money will eventually grow.” His voice lowered. “It’s an investment.”

  Their sincere offer brought a fresh wave of guilt over me. I’d been reluctant to loan Marcus—my own husband—my money. And ever since I’d given it to him, I’d resented the fact that he wasn’t brining home a paycheck, topped off by the fact that we’d had to sacrifice by letting complete strangers rent our house.

  Now his parents were freely offering their hard-earned money because they believed in their son.

  “That’s very generous of you,” Marcus said. “But I’d like to keep your offer in reserve for now, if that’s all right.”

  “Of course,” Jeff said. “Whatever you’d like to do.”

  When Marcus and I were alone in our room, I asked him why he hadn’t taken his parents up on their offer.

  “I don’t want to risk their retirement funds on my business.”

  A rush of air left my lungs. “But you’re okay with risking our future?”

  “We’re young. This is the time we can afford to take risks.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and any guilt I’d felt earlier for not being more supportive evaporated. “What if I don’t want to take risks?”

  “We’re in this together, Lily.”

  “Honestly, I don’t feel like I had a choice.”

  His neck stiffened. “We talked about this when I first lost my job and you said you would support this.”

  “Maybe I hadn’t realized what you were really asking me.”

  “Well, it’s a little late to change your mind now, isn’t it?”

  I thought about the partner who had left because the new business had put too much strain on his marriage. What would happen to the firm if Marcus left? Would Jason be able to carry it on his own? As much as I wished things were different, I decided I wouldn’t suggest that Marcus leave the new business. That wouldn’t be fair to the other partner, and it wouldn’t be fair to Marcus.

  Even if our marriage was under a lot of strain due to the business.

  “Yes,” I said. “It is too late to change my mind. You’ve gone too far to back out now.”

  “I’m glad to hear you say that,” he said as he slowly smiled. “Because I need your support now more than ever.”

  “Do you at least agree that my new job will help?”

  With obvious reluctance, he nodded. “I suppose.”

  At least I’d gotten one concession from him.

  “As long as it doesn’t adversely affect the children,” he added.

  I didn’t want that either, but after only one day at the day care, it seemed like they would be fine. “Right,” I said, thinking that as long as I was there with them, they would be fine.

  Chapter 17

  Two weeks later Jackson came down with a nasty bug.

  “You’ll need to leave him at home, Lily,” Cindy told me when I got to work.

  Natalie had been adjusting well and had happily told me good-bye when I’d dropped her off, but Jackson was fussy and feverish.

  “I don’t know if my mother-in-law is up for the challenge of caring for a sick child.” Besides, I really didn’t want to ask her.

  Cindy frowned. “I suppose we can get by without you for a day or two until he’s better, but you know our policy. If a child has a fever, he isn’t welcome.”

  Evidently a child had come to the day care sick, otherwise Jackson wouldn’t be sick now. I nodded. “Okay.”

  Cindy gave me an understanding smile, then walked away.

  “I guess we’re going home, sweetie-pie,” I murmured against Jackson’s flushed cheek. He sagged against me, not interested in anything but being held.

  When I went to get Natalie, she was busy playing and didn’t want to leave.

  “So typical,” Rochelle said. “They get upset when Mom drops them off, and then get upset when Mom wants them to leave.”

  I laughed with her, but was glad Natalie enjoyed being there. Five minutes later I’d pried her away from the play kitchen and led her to our car. When we got home, Trish was surprised to see us.

  “Jackson’s sick,” I said by way of explanation.

  “Oh no,” she said as she lay the back of her hand against his forehead. “Do you have any baby Tylenol?”

  If we were in our own home I’d have what I need. “I think it’s packed away in storage.”

  “Do you want me to run and get some?”

  I considered asking Jordan if I could borrow some from her, but since the medication was dispensed with drops, I didn’t want to use the same dispenser Gabe used. “If you wouldn’t mind, that would be great.”

  Trish picked up her purse. “It’s no problem. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

  By the time Marcus got home, Jackson had settled down, although he was obviously not feeling well.

  “Is he okay?” Marcus asked as he held him. “When did he start getting sick?”

  “I think he’s got some sort of virus,” I said.

  “He caught it at that day care,” Marcus said, his tone accusing.

  “You don’t know that. He could have caught something when we went to the grocery store.”

  “Come on, Lily. He’s around other kids all day. Of course he got it there.”

  Though I knew he was probably right, I didn’t like the way he was implying it was my fault. “Kids get sick. It’s a natural part of childhood.”

  Trish walked into the living room where we were arguing.

  “Lily’s right, dear,” she said. “Even you, as perfect as you were, got sick once in a while.”

  He frowned at his mother. “I just hate seeing him suffer like this.”

  “Of course you do.” She stroked Jackson’s chubby cheek. “No one wants to see him sick, but you can’t change it now.”

  Late that night Jackson was fussier than ever, and when I picked him up from his crib, he rubbed his ear. “Oh no,” I murmured. Natalie had only had a few ear infections in her short life, but Jackson had never
had one.

  I administered more Tylenol to Jackson, then rocked him until he fell asleep. Early the next morning Marcus woke me. Tired from being up with the baby during the night, I found it hard to open my eyes, but after a few moments I forced them open.

  Marcus held Jackson in his arms, a worried look on his face. “I think he’s really sick, Lily. Do you think you should take him to the doctor?”

  Fairly certain he had an ear infection, I’d already planned on taking him first thing that morning. “You know we don’t have health insurance, right?” I said.

  When Marcus had lost his job, he’d lost his insurance along with it. We hadn’t been able to afford the monthly insurance premiums, so we’d crossed our fingers and hoped nothing too expensive would happen.

  “I don’t care,” he said. “You need to take him in.”

  “I know. I’m going to call the pediatrician as soon as they open.” I pushed myself out of bed and held out my arms for my baby. “You need to go to work.”

  He seemed reluctant to hand him over, and I wondered if he thought I’d do something else to endanger our child, which irritated me. Finally, he relinquished him to me. “Will you let me know what the doctor says?”

  “Yes,” I said, “but I think it’s just an ear infection.”

  “Oh.”

  It had been a while since Natalie had had one, and apparently Marcus had forgotten how common they were. “They’ll give him antibiotics, and then he’ll be fine.”

  “Okay.” He kissed Jackson on the forehead, then kissed me on the lips. “I love you, Lily.”

  His tender words warmed me, especially after all the contention we’d been having lately. “I love you too.”

  After calling Cindy to let her know I wouldn’t be coming in again, I made an appointment with the pediatrician. As it turned out, I was right. He had an ear infection.

  I made sure to call Marcus and let him know the diagnosis.

  “I’m glad it’s just an infection,” he said, then he paused. “I still think he got it from that day care.”