Lily's Story: The Complete Saga

by Christine Kersey

  “I know.” Despite looking tired, he still seemed as happy as he did each day when he got home—unlike me, who was exhausted and worn down by the end of each day. Each night he still had enough energy to read in bed before going to sleep, while I was eager for the peaceful release of sleep.

  “How is it that you manage to stay awake and read each night?” I asked as I gazed up at him, trying to keep the resentment from my voice.

  He chuckled. “I guess I need some time to wind down at the end of the day.”

  “Wind down,” I echoed. I wished I could wind down, but by the time I got the children to bed, all I wanted to do was climb into my own bed.

  He smiled at me. “Yes. After working all day I need some time to decompress.”

  My jaw tightened as I tried to frame the words that insisted on being spoken. “It would sure be nice if you could make some time to play with your children.” I was sure my eyes were practically sparking. “Maybe that would help you decompress.”

  With a frown, he set his book on the bed beside him. “I would, except by the time I get home you’re putting them to bed.”

  I pushed myself up so I was facing him straight on. “I’m not going to keep them up past their bedtime so they can play with you.”

  “Why not? What’s so critical about them going to bed at exactly eight o’clock each night? It’s not like they have to get up for school the next day.”

  My heart pounded as the confrontation I’d been holding back for weeks came to the fore. “This will be news to you, but even if they get to bed late they still get up at the same time the next day, and guess what?” My eyebrows rose. “Then they’ll be whiny and grumpy the next day.” I frowned. “Again, this will be news to you, but that’s hard to deal with.”

  Spots of color blossomed on his cheeks. “If it’s anything like the way you’re acting now, then I can only imagine how unpleasant that would be.”

  I tilted my head as fury roared to life. “Are you saying I’m being whiny and grumpy?”

  He gazed at me a moment, as if deciding if he should go there. Then he did. “Yeah. You kind of are.”

  “You’re saying I’m being childish.” It came out as a statement. When he didn’t respond, I spoke with a touch of bitterness. “What happened to me being heroic?”

  “You have been, but I don’t know where this other stuff’s coming from.”

  “This other ‘stuff’, as you call it, is coming from the fact that I’m tired of being a single parent.”

  “A single parent?” He ran his hands through his hair. “Is that what you consider yourself?”

  I could see my statement had upset him, but he had to hear the truth. “When I’m the only one caring for our children, then yes, that kind of makes me a single parent.”

  “Wow, Lily.” He looked away and shook his head before meeting my gaze. “I don’t even know how to respond to that.”

  “How about by saying that you’ll be here well before the children’s bedtime. Maybe you could even give them a bath and put them to bed once in a while.” My next words came out as nearly a whisper. “I could sure use the break.”

  His mouth hung open. “Do you have any idea how hard I’m working?” With a sigh, he added, “I need you to support me, Lily.”

  “You know, you keep saying that. But I have yet to hear you offer to support me.”

  “Support you? I am supporting you. That’s what going to work each day is all about.”

  Echoes of Trevor filled my mind, and my hands dampened with sweat. A memory burned inside me. A memory of him telling me that what I’d chosen to do—focus on my education—was selfish and that I should get a job instead of leaving the support of our family all on him. A memory that reminded me that his early attitude had only been a hint of his true self—abusive and controlling.

  Would Marcus become like Trevor? Fear crawled up my spine at the thought, and as much as I knew Marcus was nothing like Trevor, I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that swept over me.

  My lips were stiff as I spoke. “I’m sorry we’re such a burden on you.”

  With a slight flinch, Marcus’s eyes widened. “A burden? Why would you think that? You’re not a burden. You’re my responsibility.”

  I wasn’t convinced. “What’s the difference? Either way, without us you’d have a lot more freedom, a lot more flexibility to follow your dreams.”

  His head tilted at a questioning angle, and his lips parted in confusion. “What’s the point of following my dreams if you’re not there to share them with me? You and the children.”

  “But that’s just it, Marcus. We’re not sharing anything with you. How can we when you’re never around?”

  His jaw clenched as he gazed at me. “I just can’t win, can I?”

  “Is that what this is about?” I asked, even as I knew I was being unreasonable. “Winning?”

  His breath came out in a rush. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

  “What do you mean, then?”

  His nostrils flared. “I mean there’s just no pleasing you.”

  I knew what would please me, but we’d gone there too many times already, and I knew it was pointless to bring it up again. I looked away from him as my thoughts raced, then I turned back to face him. “I need some time away.”

  “What?”

  I nodded. “When I talked to Alyssa the other day, she invited me to come for a visit.” I gazed at him a moment. “I’m going to accept her offer.”

  He stared at me as if thinking through all the ramifications.

  “I won’t go until your mom’s feeling better,” I added.

  “Okay.” A small smile softened his face. “I think that’s a good idea.”

  “You do?”

  He reached out and stroked my face. “Yes I know how hard you’ve been working, Lily. You’ve earned some time away.”

  Knowing I would get the break I’d been craving, sudden lightness sweep over me. “Thank you, Marcus.”

  He frowned. “Why are you thanking me? I didn’t do anything.”

  “Thank you for supporting me in this.”

  “Oh.” His mouth curved into a smile as his eyebrows rose. “So now I’m supporting you?”

  My smile matched his. “Evidently, yes.”

  “I’m glad I’m finally doing something right.”

  I knew I’d been hard on him—and him agreeing that I should go visit Alyssa didn’t change the fact that he was hardly around—but I was grateful that he hadn’t argued with me. And I knew he was nothing like Trevor. I leaned toward him and kissed him on the mouth.

  “I’ve missed that,” he said as he drew me into his arms.

  With my head cocked to the side, I said, “I’ve been here every night. You’re the one who’s been MIA.”

  He nodded slowly, his eyes on mine. “I see how it is.”

  I wasn’t sure what he meant, but he didn’t seem upset, and as I snuggled against his chest, hope grew within me that just maybe we’d taken the first step on the path to getting our relationship back on track.

  Chapter 28

  The closer the children and I got to Vegas and Alyssa’s house, the more relaxed I became. When I’d left home, Trish had been feeling well enough to take care of herself while Jeff and Marcus were at work, and had been glad that I had the opportunity to take some time for myself.

  “You deserve it, Lily,” she’d said as I’d fed the children breakfast. “I’ll never be able to properly thank you for all you’ve done for me.” Her smile had faltered as her eyes had filled with tears. “I’m so grateful that you’re in my life.”

  Her sweet words had touched me and I’d reconsidered leaving. “Thank you, Trish. That means a lot to me.” I smiled at her, and she must have sensed my reticence in leaving.

  “I’ll be fine.” Then she’d motioned to Greta to come to her side and had begun scratching her head. “I’ll have this little lady to keep me company.”

  Now, as I pulled up to Alyssa’s
house and took the children out of their carseats, I softly laughed, pleased that Trish had taken such a liking to Greta.

  “Let’s go see Aunt Alyssa,” I said as I held Natalie’s hand while balancing Jackson on my hip. The setting sun cast shadows across us as we walked up the driveway, and a few moments later Alyssa opened the front door.

  “Lily,” she said with a wide smile. “It’s so good to see you.”

  My smile matched hers as we embraced, then she invited us in. I hadn’t been to her house before, and I glanced around, taking in the contemporary style that she and Ty had chosen.

  “Lily,” Ty said as he walked towards us. “How are you?”

  After all the heartache Alyssa had been through so recently because of Ty, I couldn’t help but look at him more closely. With a head of thick brown hair, sparkling green eyes, and an attractive goatee, he looked just as I remembered him from their wedding. But I sensed something different about him. I hoped it was simply his change of heart toward Alyssa and their marriage.

  When I saw him slip his hand into Alyssa’s, then saw the joy on her face, I smiled, happy for them. But their affection also made me miss Marcus, and I felt bad about the tension we’d been experiencing lately.

  We’ll figure it out.

  “Are you hungry after your long drive?” Alyssa asked. “I was about to make some tacos.”

  “That sounds great,” I said.

  We followed Alyssa into the kitchen, and after helping Natalie sit at the table with a snack, I began feeding Jackson while Alyssa browned a pan of ground beef.

  “Do you need any help?” Ty asked Alyssa.

  She smiled at him. “No, I’ve got it.”

  He glanced at me. “I’ll leave you two to catch up then.” A few moments later I heard sounds coming from the TV in the other room.

  “I’m glad to see you so happy,” I said.

  A peaceful smile curved Alyssa’s mouth. “When I came out to see you earlier this year, it was hard to imagine Ty and I would get to this point. But now that we’re here, I can’t imagine even considering giving up.”

  I couldn’t imagine giving up on Marcus, and I was grateful neither one of us had ever suggested such a thing, despite the challenges we’d been facing. And I vowed to keep it that way.

  Alyssa drained the drippings from the meat, set the pan back on the stove, then turned to me with a secret smile.

  “What?” I asked.

  She glanced toward the other room, then whispered. “We’ve decided to have a baby.”

  My eyebrows rose. “Are you pregnant?”

  Her smile grew. “Not yet, but I hope I will be soon.”

  “That’s great, Alyssa.”

  She nodded, then her gaze went to Natalie and Jackson before resting on me. “I’ll expect lots of advice from you.”

  Laughing, I said, “And I’ll be happy to give it.”

  At dinner, Ty and Alyssa were genuinely sweet with each other, which seemed to confirm Alyssa’s assessment about the direction their relationship had taken. I could only hope Marcus and I would be in a similar place soon. Unfortunately, with all the friction we’d had between us lately, it was hard to imagine.

  After I put the children down for the night, Ty, Alyssa, and I sat in the living room.

  Ty settled into the couch next to Alyssa, and with a slight frown, said, “I guess Alyssa told you about my gambling problem.”

  My heart skipped a beat. Is this going to be awkward? I glanced at Alyssa before meeting Ty’s gaze. “Uh, yeah.”

  He laughed. “It’s okay. I’m glad she had you to talk to.”

  Relieved he wasn’t uncomfortable with me knowing the struggle he’d gone through, I smiled. “We all have our challenges.” Then I thought about mine, and my smile vanished.

  “Ain’t that the truth?” Alyssa said with a shake of her head.

  Forcing my focus back on them, I pushed a smile onto my face as I nodded.

  “I’m just glad Alyssa didn’t give up on me,” Ty said, then he shook his head. “I’d probably be sitting in a casino right now, gambling away every penny I had.”

  “You’re worth the trouble,” Alyssa said as she smiled at him.

  I thought about Marcus and how frustrated I’d been with him lately. Is he worth the trouble? I imagined my life without him and knew he absolutely was. Prove it, then. Show him he’s worth it. I thought about how I could show him how important he was to me and our children, and wished he was sitting beside me at that very moment.

  Maybe I should go home in the morning. But Marcus will be at work all day, so that would be pointless. Besides, I’ve already promised Marcy and John that I’d spend a couple of days with them. No, what I need to do is give Marcus the space he needs to do his job—without trying to make him feel guilty. It’s a sacrifice to be the sole caretaker of our children, but being gone so much can’t be easy on him either. I need to cut him some slack.

  “Are you okay, Lily?” Alyssa asked after no one had spoken for several minutes.

  Realizing I’d been twisting my hands in my lap, I looked up and met her gaze. “Yeah.” I smiled. “I’m fine.” And I was. I knew it was time for me to be there for Marcus one hundred percent. And even though I would prefer to be living in my house again, in all reality I knew that it wasn’t the place I was living that mattered, but rather the people I was with. That’s what made it a home.

  “I know you have challenges of your own, Lily,” Alyssa said as I loaded the children into my car as I prepared to leave the next morning. “But you’ll get through them.”

  I latched Jackson’s car seat, then stood and smiled at Alyssa. “I know I will.”

  “I’m glad you were able to come for a visit.”

  “Me too.” A smile of anticipation curved my mouth. “I’ll come when your baby’s born too.”

  She laughed. “That could be a while.”

  “I hope not. It would be fun if our kids were close in age.”

  “I know, right?”

  I pulled her into a hug, then climbed into my car, and with a final wave, headed to John and Marcy’s house.

  “Lily!” Marcy said. “Hello.”

  Her warm welcome wrapped around me like a familiar soft blanket, and peace and comfort swept over me. I’d become close to Trish over the last several months, and I knew I was blessed to have these two women in my life.

  “Grandma,” Natalie squealed, much to Marcy’s obvious joy.

  Marcy scooped Natalie up and carried her inside, and Jackson and I followed.

  “John’s running an errand, but he should be back soon,” she said.

  I set Jackson down, and he immediately crawled to the couch then pulled himself up and started cruising along the edge.

  “Look at him,” Marcy said. “He’ll be walking soon.”

  I laughed. “I know. And then I’ll have to chase both him and Natalie.”

  Marcy set out crayons and a coloring book for Natalie, then we sat on the couch to catch up.

  “How’s Trish?” she asked.

  I gave her an update, then added, “She was in really good spirits when I left.”

  “What about you?” she asked. “How are you doing? Are you taking care of yourself?”

  I shrugged. “That’s what this visit is about. Taking some time for myself.”

  Her eyes sparkled like she had a secret. “Good.”

  Curious to know if she was hiding something, but unsure how to ask, I didn’t say anything.

  “What are you coloring, Natalie?” she asked.

  Natalie held up the picture of the princess she was coloring. “Princess.”

  “It’s beautiful,” I said.

  I heard the door that led from the garage into the kitchen open.

  “John’s back,” Marcy said with a wide smile.

  I wondered where he’d been that seemed to excite her so much.

  She jumped up, then turned to me. “Wait here.”

  Confused, I nodded. “Okay.” I watche
d her leave.

  “Where Grandma go?” Natalie asked.

  “I don’t know, sweetheart.” I picked Jackson up and set him on my lap. Voices came from the other room, and I stood, ready to see what was going on. Then I remembered Marcy’s explicit instructions to wait here, and sat back down.

  When footsteps approached a moment later, my gaze went to the doorway.

  “Marcus,” I nearly squealed when I saw him standing on the threshold to the living room.

  Chapter 29

  “Surprise,” Marcus said as a triumphant smile curved his mouth.

  I leapt from the couch, and with Jackson in my arms, I went into his embrace. A moment later I pulled away with a smile. “What are you doing here?”

  Marcy and John walked up behind him.

  “You were at the airport,” I said to John. “Right?”

  “That’s right.” A smug smile lifted the corners of his mouth.

  My gaze went from John to Marcy, then stopped on Marcus. “You all planned this together.”

  He laughed. “Yes, we did. And it worked.” With a satisfied smile, he said, “I can tell you had no clue I was coming.”

  Pleased by his unexpected appearance, I grinned. “Of course not. Why would I?” My eyes narrowed. “Wait a minute. What about work? Are you leaving it all on Jason?”

  “Yes, I am. He’s taking some time off in a couple of weeks, so it’s all good.”

  Jackson held out his arms to Marcus. Still unsure what Marcus’s arrival meant, I handed Jackson to him.

  “How’s my boy?” he said to Jackson, who smiled, clearly thrilled to see his daddy.

  Not wanting to be left out, Natalie raced to Marcus’s side. “Look, Daddy,” she said as she held up her masterpiece.

  Marcus squatted beside her. “Oh, Natalie. It’s beautiful.”

  She beamed under his praise.

  “So,” I began with a tentative smile, “why are you here?”

  Marcus laughed, then kissed me softly on the lips. “To take you away, my love.”

  Excitement and joy surged through me. “What?”

  He chuckled at my response. “John and Marcy have graciously offered to babysit so you and I can take a couple of days to ourselves.”