Let Me Be Your Last

by Lynsey M. Stewart

  ‘Amazing. Thank you. I can’t begin to tell you what it did for me.’

  ‘You deserve a night off,’ he replied.

  ‘It was too much.’

  ‘Never.’

  Not only was he hot as fuck, kind, great to talk to and had the ability to rustle up a picnic with only a few coins in his pocket, he was also great with children, and I was highly aware that there was now a crowd of them around us. They hung on to every word. They followed him wherever he went. My Theo adored him, and that was both frightening and amazing at the same time.

  ‘I’d better let you go. Your fans are waiting.’ He laughed as he rolled his eyes before sprinting off with a gang of cute eight-year-olds following him.

  ‘Oh my God, he’s yummy.’ Lydia, the parent from school who was helping with the Easter fair and was married to my ex-husband’s best friend, sat herself down on the side of the pitch. I followed her, crossing my legs and feeling my head spin. She offered me an apple from her bag.

  ‘Who’s yummy?’ I asked, acting far dafter than I actually was.

  ‘Mr Wood. Haven’t you got eyes? I’m officially fucked once my husband figures out where my recent interest in under eights football has come from. He always used to bring Blake,’ she nodded her head over to her son, a big strapping blonde kid who towered over Theo. ‘I used to love having a few hours peace on a Saturday morning. I would take a bath and read a filthy novel. Now I don’t need that filthy novel to give me a shred of libido. I’ve got him.’ She nodded her head in Josh’s direction.

  I held my breath as I waited for a joke about his surname and the size of his…appendage, but I was relieved when she didn't follow through. ‘He seems to be a great teacher,' I replied, praying for her to take her bag of apples and interest in Josh elsewhere.

  ‘I’m not here because he’s a wonderful teacher,’ she smirked.

  ‘It’s unusual, though, for a primary school teacher to be male. Great though,’ I said, trying to keep from telling her that a few weeks ago in the building behind us I was re-enacting the ‘Thinking Out Loud’ video. Imagine her reaction if I told her my legs had been wrapped around his waist as his face was in very close proximity to my boobs and that just last week he was circling my trouser covered clit with his fingers.

  ‘Ignore me,’ she laughed. ‘Aside from him being easy on the eyes with a rather enormous bulge, I really think it’s fantastic that he’s joined the school. It will do some of these boys the world of good to have a positive male role model.’ Trust Lydia to remind me of my status as a single mum. She seemed to have a knack for doing that. Her specialist subject appeared to be Gem and her poor forgotten children.

  A lot of parents knew what had happened between Jay and I. Playground gossip is the worst. I helped out at school a lot. I enjoyed being involved. I listened to children read and became a regular extra pair of hands on school trips. The staff knew of my divorce after I was called in to see the head teacher when Theo told them Daddy went to live with the harlot who drives the red car.

  ‘Of course, I’m not suggesting Theo’s father isn’t a positive influence.’

  ‘I’m sure you’re not,’ I smiled falsely before standing up and walking to the other side of the pitch. Conversation aborted.

  Josh was handing out some little plastic medals, and every time he bent over to put one around someone’s neck, I felt a twinge of something in my lady bits. Was it a strain? Had I pulled something? I was sure I felt a flicker of recognition, and then I remembered. Boom. Yes, this was how it felt to be turned on. I smiled when it registered that I, Gem Brown, divorcee and single mother, wanted to squeeze Josh’s bum with my bare hands and finish off with a bite.

  Sitting down, I took my phone out of my bag and sent a text to Elle.

  Me: Something is flapping and I’m afraid the strength of the swing may have someone’s eye out

  Elle: Grey joggers?

  Me: How did you guess?

  Elle: It was a stellar description

  Me: His bum and thighs are also making my libido stir

  Me: I had forgotten what it felt like to be so turned on

  Me: I’m in a public place and everything

  Elle: Woohoo! We need to celebrate your awakening!

  Me: Honestly, I could lick his thigh

  Elle: Dare you

  Me: Will you raise my children when I get arrested?

  Elle: I’m sure he would let you lick his thigh…

  Me: I was thinking about the wrath of the other parents. Lewd behaviour, corrupting minors, jealousy.

  Elle: I’d act as your appropriate adult. See you at the police station!

  Me: You’re such a good friend…

  ‘Mummy!’ Theo bounced towards me and landed on my lap. ‘Can I have my chocolate now?’ I handed him the bar and smiled because anyone would have thought that I had just given him the world. He was high on football and everything Josh, which I could completely understand.

  Theo and I walked hand and in hand to the car. Josh had been busy with the other parents, so we gave each other a quick wave before I took Theo to the toilet and headed back to the car. I could see the pitch through the windscreen; it was quiet and still. Everyone had left and there was no sign of Josh.

  ‘Oh no,’ Theo unbuckled his seatbelt and started feeling around in his pockets. ‘Mummy, my medal!’

  ‘What’s wrong, baby?’

  ‘Mr Wood put my medal in his pocket because I was scared I would lose it when we helped pack away. I didn’t get it back.’

  ‘That’s OK. I’m sure he’ll bring it to school on Monday.’

  ‘No, Mummy; I wanted to show Daddy later. He couldn’t come and see me play, so I wanted to show him how good I was.’ My heart broke—again—when I realised how panicked he was. It was important to him. His dad was important to him.

  I looked over to the playground at the opposite side of the football pitch and saw Jo and her kids. ‘Look, there's Kaiden in the park. You can play with him while I go and see if Mr Wood is still here.' We got out of the car, and after clearing it with Jo, I headed back to the sports centre. The place was empty. There was no one on the reception desk or in the hall. I took a quick peek in and felt my stomach flip when I thought back to our first date, the rainbow coloured parachute, the easy conversations and the start to our love story.

  I shut the door and scanned down the corridor; still no sign. After walking right to the other end, I saw the male changing rooms. I knocked but there was no answer. I knocked louder and put my ear to the door, but I couldn’t hear any sounds of life. I pushed the door open slowly, tentatively. ‘Josh, are you in here?’ No answer, so I peered around the door, unsure if I was hoping to see him in a state of undress. It took me a second to realise my hope was pretty big. I could see a bag on one of the benches and his coat hanging off the peg. ‘Hello, are you in here?’

  Still no answer.

  I walked further into the changing room and around the corner before I heard the sound of running water. A shower. I couldn't stop myself. I carried on walking until I could see the large shower cubicle big enough to fit a football or rugby team, and right in the middle of the space…was Josh.

  His face was tilted under the water. Large splashes ran off the lines of his cheeks as his hands rubbed across his scalp. His eyes were closed as he let the water run down his chest and over his shoulders. I was transfixed. I couldn't tear myself away from him. His shoulders were defined with the bumps and curves of a man who looked after his body. His muscles flexed and pulsed as he rubbed shampoo into his dark hair, circling his hands across his scalp. My fingers flexed as I reached for him, desperate to work in the bubbles and massage his head until I heard a moan escape his mouth. The soapsuds covered his arms and ran down his back in a gorgeous pattern of white foam. I focused on one area as it ran down the deep line running down the middle of his back and onto the magnificence that was his behind. Oh God, his arse. His lovely, firm arse. Perfect globes and perfect skin. Just the right a
mount of body hair for him to be the sexiest man I had ever seen in my life.

  I pressed my thighs together and ran my hand down my chest through the middle of my breasts, lightly brushing my nipple with the back of my hand. They were peaked and stiff and aching, and for all that was holy, I wanted to calm the ache. There was only one way, one solution, and he was standing naked in the shower while I watched him. This was ridiculous and wrong, but so right. He was washing himself; such an intimate act. I shouldn't have been watching. What the hell was I doing in here? I closed my eyes and took three deep breaths as I tried to navigate how the bloody fuck I was going to get out of these changing rooms without him seeing me.

  Take it slow. Back out. Steady steps. He doesn’t need to know that I’ve been so close to touching myself right where I need to…

  As I slowly opened my eyes, I found Josh’s eyes on me, sweeping my body, watching my hands. His eyes were wide and searching like he wasn’t sure what I was doing but had an idea and didn’t know how he was going to handle it. He eyes fell to my hand that had settled between my legs. His chest heaved before he let his head drop back. His body was on full display, but he wasn’t doing anything to cover himself up. No quick reflexes, no arms across private places. He stood tall, broad and strong and not an ounce of him was embarrassed by his body. He didn’t need to be. He was total and utter perfection.

  My eyes ran down the dips of his chest, down further still to the defined edges of his abdominal muscles. I was distracted by the tattoo of an ornate compass just underneath the crease of his elbow and above his wrist. I wanted to go back to his chest, the ripples of definition and hard lines that suited him so well. He smiled lightly as he followed my eyes down and along the length of his cock, thick and pulsing as he started to become more aroused. He stepped closer and so did I. He stood still and re-evaluated the situation, looking at my face and my hands clasped across my breast. I swirled my thumb over the stiff peak and heard a deep gasp as I gave him full permission through my actions to step forward again.

  I followed, smiling as I watched him unravel before me. Another step forward. The only aim getting closer to him. I unbuttoned my jeans and pulled down the zip slowly. He was panting, his chest expanding and his cock now straining against his stomach. I looked directly into his eyes as I slowly reached my hand into my jeans, beneath the fabric, and further down until I felt the wet heat that only he was causing. His panting gathered speed and I swear I heard him whisper fuck as I started to move my hand across my throbbing clit. But I didn’t miss the way he said my name so deep and strong and pained as he started rubbing his fingers across his tip, swirling and stroking until he gripped his cock tightly, pulsing and twisting his hand as I started to moan at the exquisite sight.

  We stepped forward together, almost touching now, a breath away, so very close. He let go of his hard cock and pulled me towards him, grasping my hips at both sides. I panted, hot and heavy as he dropped to his knees in front of me, his wet hands clasping my behind as I held his chin and lifted his head up towards me and only me. I didn’t care that I was wet from his body. I didn’t care that my fingers against his chin were glistening from my arousal. All I cared about was the man in front of me.

  A door slammed shut, echoing around the walls, and despite the noise, we stayed together, holding each other in exactly the same position. My hands grasped his chin as he looked up to me with such adoration, his hands still grasping my behind, the wetness of his fingers soaking through my jeans, digging into the skin underneath.

  ‘I can’t stay,’ I panted.

  ‘Fucking stay,’ he growled. His hand left my body and claimed my other, locking our fingers together.

  ‘Theo…he’s with a friend outside. He’ll be wondering where I am.’ He pushed his forehead back against my stomach, pulling up my top and exposing my bare skin. He lifted his head, kissing everywhere that was becoming too wonderfully sensitive. I felt the tip of his tongue lick my stomach. ‘So fucking sweet,’ he said, kissing the wet trail from his mouth. I brushed my fingers against his mouth, pulling my jeans further apart before Josh pulled them down, working quickly, needing to feel me. He ran one single finger across my skin, the tip pushing into my thigh gently, softly, not enough.

  ‘I want to do something, something I’ve thought about for every fucking second since I left you.’

  ‘Hold me. I’m falling.’

  ‘I’ve got you.’ He put his hand underneath my underwear and pulled it tight, balling it in his fist until the outline of my pussy was on display. ‘Fuck, yes.’

  ‘Josh, I need you.’

  ‘I know. Fuck, I know.’

  I held on to his shoulder, needing the strength of him to hold me up. My legs were trembling, my pussy pulsing with want, bones turning to mush. And then it happened. A moan that came from the back of my throat, a gasp I couldn’t contain all because of him. I looked down and watched as the tip of his finger—just a gentle touch—reached from my entrance, through my folds and ended dangerously on my clit. A gentle push; firm but soft. A single sweep of his finger causing my body to melt, a fire to ignite, an orgasm stoked.

  ‘I want to make you come. There’s nothing I want more.’

  ‘Stand up,’ I demanded, but my voice was a whisper. I didn’t recognise the sound. He stood close, so close that I could feel the breath from his charged panting against my neck. ‘This cock,’ I said, more fire in me than ever before. ‘I want to worship it.’ I took him in my hand and let the doubts fall away. I was brazen, I was bold, and I fucking loved it. I stroked. I circled. I grasped. I loved the feel of his hardness in my hand so small against his size. He was outstanding and I wanted every inch. ‘Tell me you want this, want me.’

  ‘You’re all I think about,’ he replied.

  ‘What do you think?’

  ‘I think about this.' He gestured to his cock in my hand. ‘I think about your mouth stretched around it. I think about fucking you from behind, bent over the bed, sitting on me, riding the fuck out of my cock, me helping you, lifting you by your hips, watching your face as you come, your slick skin gripping me tightly. Fuck, I need you naked.'

  His dirty words were like a poem. They made my skin tingle and an orgasm race, and he wasn’t even touching me. An orgasm threatened to burst just by hearing his words and holding his magnificent cock in my hand. I barely noticed my phone ringing until I was forced back into everyday Gem mode.

  ‘Shit. I’m sorry. I need to go,’ I whispered as he dropped to his knees again, pulling one side of my underwear, exposing skin he hadn’t seen before and kissing me there. ‘I came back for Theo’s medal,’ I panted, smiling as I felt his lips lift against the sharp curve of my hipbone.

  ‘Don’t go just yet.’

  ‘I left him with a friend. They’re outside. They could come in.’

  ‘My jacket pocket,’ he said before lifting his head from my stomach and letting me go.

  ‘Jacket pocket?’ I couldn’t think straight; all I could think about and feel was him. I looked down at Josh as I gathered myself, pushing my wet top back into my jeans and kissing his cheek. I was wet and crumpled, my hair damp, my mascara running. I may be questioned. Theo may want to know why I look like I’ve taken a shower, but I would have to face that when I walked out of the changing room door. For now, I could hold on to the woman who just held the cock of all cocks in her hand. The woman who took pleasure in stroking him from root to tip. The woman who almost orgasmed when a man so beautiful almost made her come by stroking her with a single finger.

  God, I loved this woman.

  ‘Don’t question what just happened. When you leave this room and go back, don’t ever question it. You’re a fucking goddess.’

  I nodded as I walked backwards, embracing the words, embracing my feelings and embracing me. I took a deep breath, rolled my shoulders and stopped only to get the gold plastic medal from the pocket of the jacket that he had wrapped me in two weeks ago, leaving Josh alone and on his knees in the water. />
  Chapter 29

  Josh

  I was getting withdrawal symptoms.

  The image playing out in my mind of Gem touching herself while I was in the shower wasn’t helping me to stop thinking about her. Not at all. In fact, I was trying to mentally block out the feel of her hands on my cock for fear of a constant erection. But being in close proximity to her all afternoon and not being able to kiss her, touch her or even tell her how much I loved her laugh was also proving to be fucking torture.

  Gem and a couple of the other parents had agreed to come in early the afternoon of the Easter fair to start setting up and finish painting the Alice in Wonderland themed backdrops. I had sketched them out over the weekend, another attempt to banish the thoughts of Gem that were driving me insane.

  I knew that even attempting to see her would be pushing my luck. She didn’t have a steady stream of babysitters and the kids needed time with her after she had been out with the girls on Friday night.

  I caught her this morning when she dropped Theo off. I pushed a note into her hand and asked her if we were OK. She nodded her head and bit her lip. It took everything in me not to follow her home. The note was short but to the point.

  You have no idea how beautiful you are. Josh.

  I wasn't sure how she did it but she became more beautiful every day.

  Even with a stripe of black paint across her cheek.

  She was already sitting on the floor painting when I walked into the hall. The tables were still being cleared away after dinner and various members of staff were milling around getting set up, but I focused on her completely.

  ‘Hey.’

  She looked up and smiled. Fuck. That smile. ‘Have you really drawn these?’

  I nodded, walking towards her. I couldn’t help myself. I needed to be close to her. ‘Had to keep myself busy over the weekend. I wanted to keep my thoughts occupied with other things,’ I replied. ‘Not just you.’