Unforgiven

by Rebecca Shea

  Unforgiven

  Copyright ©2014 Rebecca Shea, LLC

  All rights reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and storylines are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it and purchase your own copy. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or any other means without the written permission of the author is illegal and punishable by law. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Cover design by: Regina Wamba, Mae I Design

  Edited by: Beth Suit, BB Books Editing and Beth Lynne, Hercules Editing

  Formatted by: Angela McLaurin at Fictional Formats

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  CHAPTER 25

  CHAPTER 26

  EPILOGUE

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  To my readers—for loving this series and always wanting more.

  This is for you.

  “Whoever thought carrying on a secret affair would be easy was clearly delusional,” I mumble against Matt’s soft lips. I rest my chin on his firm chest and stretch out on top of his long, muscular body.

  “Is that all this is, an affair?”

  “You know what I mean.” I kiss the sparse stubble along his jawline and press my lips to his neck.

  “You’ll never be just an affair to me, Lindsay.” He flips us over on the bed so he’s positioned on top of me, his elbows resting on the bed on either side of my head. I run my hands over his defined shoulders and down his biceps.

  “Good,” I whisper, inhaling sharply when he pulls my earlobe into his mouth. “Why did you fall in love with me?”

  “How could I not fall in love with you?”

  “Because I’m a neurotic mess.”

  He laughs quietly. “You’re not a neurotic mess. You’re driven and independent and strong-willed and beautiful, and somewhere in all of that, I fell in love with you—every part of you.”

  I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him closer to me. “Do you know that I’ll never forget the first time I ever laid eyes on you?”

  “I’d never forget that day either,” he breathes against my neck. He always takes his time with me, kissing me, touching me, teasing me until I beg for him to take me.

  “Tell me what you remember,” I muster in between ragged breaths.

  “I remember it was a party at your house.”

  “Landon’s house,” I say.

  “You share the house with your brother. It’s your house too. Stop interrupting me.” He pinches my hip gently to scold me. “Anyway, Landon and I had worked together for almost two years and I’d seen pictures of you and had seen you on TV, but anytime I’d been to the house, I’d never met you—I’d never seen you in person. The second I walked through that door that night, you were standing in the middle of the living room and, suddenly, nothing else existed in my world. It was over. I knew I had to have you.”

  “That’s how I felt too.” I smile at him.

  “Everything about you turned me on. The way you carried yourself, your sense of humor, your excitement about everything we talked about. I don’t think I talked to anyone else that night.”

  “Do you know what I remember? I remember the way you studied me. You saw through the façade – not the TV personality everyone else sees. You saw the real me. You looked at me like there was nobody else in the room.”

  “There wasn’t,” he whispers.

  “I remember how my skin broke out in goose bumps when your hand brushed against me when you reached for a beer. I’d never had that happen before, and I remember how I never wanted that night to end. I didn’t want you to leave.”

  “You do realize there have only been a few nights we’ve been apart since that night, right?”

  “Mmm hmm.” I press my lips to his and drink in their softness.

  “I’m never letting you go, Lindsay. Before you came along, I was just a thirty-one-year-old cop with no goals or ambitions. Now I have someone I want to live for—live with. I don’t ever want to be anywhere unless it’s with you.”

  In this moment, everything in my world is perfect… but as things always go in my life, when everything is perfect, I worry that something will happen to take it all away. I shove those negative feelings aside and fall asleep in the arms of the man I want to spend forever with.

  “Good morning, beautiful.” Light kisses pepper my face and neck. I grumble and roll closer to Matt, wrapping my arm over his chest, securing myself to him.

  “There is only one fault I can find in you,” I mumble against his shoulder, my eyes still closed.

  “What’s that?”

  “You’re a morning person.”

  Matt chuckles as he pulls me on top of him and slides his hands down my bare back. I rest my head on his chest while his fingertips trace my spine and I shiver at his gentle touch.

  “I like when you wake me up like this and touch me.”

  “I like waking you up and touching you. I’ll never get enough of you, Linds.”

  I kick the silk sheet off of us and sit up, straddling Matt’s hips. I rise and position myself just over the top of him, letting him slide into me.

  “Jesus,” he hisses and inhales sharply. I use my knees to guide me, rising and falling slowly on top of him, drinking in the feel of him inside me. With my hands pressed to his chest to balance me, I drop my head back and just feel. From the day I met Matt, we’ve had a connection that is indescribable. He understands me and my needs and I the same for him.

  “Promise me something,” I whisper. “Don’t ever leave me.” My voice cracks with emotion. His hands grasp my hips, stopping me. I tip my head forward, my eyes finding his.

  “Never,” he says with conviction. “I will always love and protect you, Lindsay. I promise. Tell me why you’re getting emotional?”

  “I want us to be like normal couples. I hate being secretive about our relationship and I worry that you’re going to get tired of that and leave me. I don’t think I could handle life without you.”

  “Then let’s not keep us a secret any longer. Let’s talk to Landon and tell him the truth. We love each other and I’m tired of hiding it.”

  I shake my head. “I’m afraid.”

  “Of what?”

  “That he’s going to flip out. I don’t want to lose my brother and you can’t lose your best friend and partner.”

  Matt sighs loudly
. “Linds, the only thing Landon is going to be upset about is that we’ve been sneaking around. He loves you and will never disown you. I, on the other hand, may have to deal with something entirely different.” He chuckles.

  I roll off of Matt and he slides over to me and positions himself on top of me, taking over. “Look at me.” His dark brown eyes fix on mine, “I love you,” he says, kissing the tip of my nose. I nod and feel the lump in my throat growing larger. “I love you,” he says again.

  “I love you too.”

  “Let’s not be secretive anymore. I’m ready for everyone to know we’re together. I want them to know you’re mine and I’m yours.”

  “Not yet,” I whisper and he sighs loudly.

  “You’re the one calling the shots, Linds.”

  “Good, then make love to me.”

  We spend the next hour lying in bed, exploring each other’s bodies, minds, and souls. I’ve never been so intimately connected to another living being and my heart explodes with the feelings of love and contentment I have with Matt. He is my rock when I am unstable, he is my voice of reason when I’m standing on the edge of insanity, and he is the only man I’ve ever given my heart to.

  “Mmmm,” is about all I manage to get out before Matt slides into me in one heady thrust. I gasp as he gives me a moment to adjust and wake up. “I love that you still wake me up like this,” I sputter between breaths. The room is dark except for the sliver of moonlight coming through the skylight.

  My arms wrap around his neck and my fingers trail small circles against the back of his neck. His body is damp from a recent shower and he smells like body wash.

  “I like when I come home to find you naked in my bed.” He presses a kiss to my lips. His thrusts become quicker, needier. “God, you feel so good,” he says, biting at my jawline. I lift my hips and match his movements. “You’re going to make me come already,” he whispers. I wrap my legs around his waist and clench, creating more friction. “Jesus Christ, Lindsay.”

  “Good; come in me,” I groan as I feel my orgasm building. The next few seconds are a flurry of moans, kisses, and perfectly timed releases.

  Matt stays inside of me as his erection fades and, for some reason, this is my favorite time… when we’re connected as one in the most intimate of ways. It’s in these moments, when we connect emotionally, the unspoken words, the intense look in each other’s eyes that speak of the love we have without actually speaking a single word.

  Matt finally pulls out and rolls off of me and onto his back. He tosses his arms above his head. I roll onto my side, facing him, watching his muscular silhouette in the dark, and listening to his quiet breaths as he falls into a peaceful slumber.

  “I love you, Matt,” I whisper. Just before his breathing becomes lighter, I barely make out his whispered response.

  “I love you too, Linds.”

  I slap the alarm clock that is blaring on the nightstand next to my head. Matt grumbles and rolls over, and I instantly feel guilty for waking him up. For the last six years, Matt has worked the swing shift for the Wilmington Police Department, patrolling from three in the afternoon to midnight, but doesn’t usually get home until almost one in the morning. It’s now six and he’s had less than five hours of sleep.

  Most mornings, he tries to get up with me to see me off to work, which I find sweet, but I feel bad when I know he’s tired and needs his rest. We’ve both been working an insane amount of hours lately and, for the last three weeks, it’s those few minutes when he gets home at night, or an hour in the mornings that we see each other.

  His tan skin and dark hair stand out against the stark white sheets. I run my fingers down his back, tracing the outline of his muscles all the way down to his perfectly round ass. I press a light kiss to the back of his shoulder as he rolls over, startling me.

  “Go get in the shower. I’ll meet you there,” he says with a groggy voice. He rubs his eyes with his fingers.

  “No, go back to sleep, babe. You need your rest. I’ll shower, then get ready over at the station.” I push myself out of the bed and walk across the wood floors to the master en suite. I close the bathroom door in hopes of minimizing the noise I make so Matt can go back to sleep.

  I start the shower and let the water warm up while I brush my teeth. I take note of my curves—this is the healthiest I’ve been in years. I try to work out on a semi-regular basis, I eat healthy, and my body has finally taken notice.

  Stepping into the glass shower, I wash my hair and condition it. I squirt some of my body wash onto a sponge and start washing my body when the shower door opens and Matt steps in. He pulls the sponge from my hands and begins washing me. With one hand, he lifts my long hair and rubs the sponge all over my back before pushing me into the gentle stream of water to rinse me.

  He repeats the same process on my chest, breasts, and stomach. He drops the sponge to the tiled shower floor as he presses me up against the wall. His lips find mine, peppering hungry kisses against them. One arm pins me against the wall and another trails down my stomach, parting the soft folds of skin between my legs. He slides one finger inside me, gently gliding it in and out before adding a second finger.

  “Need you,” he mumbles against my lips, and I reach for his erection. Wrapping my hand around him, I slide it up and down the soft skin as I feel him grow larger the longer I stroke him. “Turn around,” he orders and I press my chest up against the cool shower wall. He places both of his hands on my hips and gently guides himself inside of me from behind.

  “Holy shit,” I stammer as I try to gain control of my breathing. His thrusts are hard, yet controlled. He kisses the side of my neck as I rest my forehead against the wall. One of his hands moves around the front, paying special attention to the bud of soft skin he knows how to work so well.

  With three final thrusts, I feel his release deep within and we stay connected just as we do in bed. As we catch our breaths, Matt withdraws from me and bends down to pick up the sponge. Squirting more body wash onto the sponge, he takes his time cleaning me one last time. I rinse the conditioner from my hair and rinse my body again.

  Standing on my tiptoes, I curl my arms around his neck and press a long kiss to his soft lips. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen,” I tell him as he pulls his body wash off the shelf and washes himself. I wrap myself in a towel and quickly dry off, throwing on a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. I have my dress, shoes, and accessories hanging in the closet, ready to bring to work with me.

  I leave my long, wet hair hang loose and let it air dry as I head to the kitchen to make coffee. When I get there, I find that Matt has already made a fresh pot. I smile at how considerate and attentive he is. I fill two mugs of coffee and pour a small amount of creamer in both, stirring them. While I’m scrolling through emails and messages on my phone, Matt joins me in the kitchen.

  “Anything exciting?” he asks, pressing a kiss to my cheek before grabbing his mug of coffee and sitting on one of the barstools that sits at his small kitchen island.

  “Nothing yet.” I smile at him. His eyes have dark circles under them and are bloodshot. “You’re exhausted,” I tell him.

  “I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not. Go back to bed when I leave. You need your rest.”

  “You worry too much.” He chuckles.

  “You work too hard. Stop taking overtime shifts.”

  “You’re telling me I work too much? Lindsay, I haven’t seen you in weeks, which is why I’ve been working overtime. I’m bored without you here.” He raises his eyebrows at me.

  “I know. It’s just that they’re shorthanded and it’s a really great opportunity for me to get more airtime. I’ve been at the anchor desk all week.” He sighs in frustration, and I sigh that he doesn’t understand how much I love and need my career. When my mom left my brother Landon and me, we learned quickly that we had to take care of ourselves. I made it a priority to do well in school and eventually received a full scholarship to college. I majored in broadcast
journalism and this career has become an extension of who I am.

  “Lindsay, you work for practically nothing. The pay is shit, the hours are long—I feel like they’re taking advantage of you.”

  “You know I love this job, and this is what I’ve always wanted to do. In a small market news station, you have to put in the hours to get noticed. It’s this or relocate somewhere else—it’s not for the money, it’s about the experience.” I raise my mug and take a sip of my hot coffee while he blows on the steam rising from his coffee and watches me with a raised eyebrow.

  “So is it always going to be like this? Where do we fit into this picture?” he asks, setting his coffee mug down and rubbing his temples. It’s a fair question. We essentially work opposite shifts as of late and only spend a few hours together sleeping in the same bed. I don’t have an answer for him and that rattles me. We’ve always been happy, in our individual careers, and as a couple—I hadn’t given much thought to the stress that my budding career brings to the relationship.

  “We’ll figure it out,” I say, pouring my coffee into a travel mug. “I have to go or I’m going to be late and I still have to get ready.” I stop in front of him and kiss his lips. “I love you, Matt Kennedy, more than anything in the entire world.” His dark brown eyes look up at me.

  “I love you more than that, Lindsay Christianson. I always will.” With one last kiss, I hustle out the door and back to work.

  I sit in the large leather chair in the corner of the room and watch Lindsay finish getting ready. She’s standing at the bathroom vanity in her black lace bra and panties, rushing to touch up her make-up and hair. The pantsuit she wore to work is in a pile on the bedroom floor and a black dress lies at the foot of our bed with gold jewelry laid out next to it.

  “Dammit,” she curses as she tosses her curling iron onto the counter.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Burned myself,” she grumbles and sucks on the pad of her thumb.

  “Babe, you look amazing. Just get dressed or we’re going to be late. You know Reagan is going to flip out if we’re late.”