by Leah Atwood
The flustered, embarrassed response endeared him to her and spoke of the truth. For that she was glad because it was another indication he had only pure motives for suggesting a marriage, not the she doubted him, but further confirmation settled her nerves. Well, partially. At this point, it would take twenty glasses of herbal tea and a walk in the clouds to ease them all.
“I always wanted lots of kids. At least four.” She sucked in a breath. Where had that admission come from?
“Do you still?”
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. To admit so would be a step toward a real marriage. Am I ready for that? This morning I never thought I’d marry again. But this was Shep, a man she respected and cared about, if not loved. “Yes.”
“Me too.”
“Where does that put us?” She clenched the handles tighter until her knuckles turned white.
“Would you be opposed to a real marriage and, Lord-willing, having children together?”
Her heart raced, and a minute passed before she could give a confident answer. “No.”
Uncurling her fingers, he pried her hand from the purse and held it. “You set the pace. We won’t move any faster than you’re comfortable with.”
The pounding of her heart continued to pulse against her chest. Everything spun, yet seemed to fall into place. “Did we just decide we’re getting married?”
“I think so.” A smile curved his lips, his eyes flashed.
“When are we going to do this?”
“That’s up to you.” He squeezed her hand. “What kind of wedding would you like?”
“Can we do a simple, Justice of the Peace ceremony?” She’d done the church wedding once. This one she wanted to be simple—over and done so they could proceed with life.
Crinkles formed around his eyes. “Are you sure? I know our circumstances are unusual, but I don’t want you to look back one day and feel cheated.”
“Positive.” Was it selfish of her? “Unless you wanted something different.”
“Justive of the Peace is fine with me. In that case, all we need to do is file for a license.”
A crazy idea popped into her head. “If we applied for one today, we could be married by Thanksgiving.”
Shep stared at her wide-eyed like she was crazy, making her feel foolish for the suggestion.
“I’m sorry.” She peeled her hand away, embarrassed. “That’s too soon.”
“No, not a bit. It took me by surprise, that’s all.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t believe you said yes, yet alone want to marry so soon.”
Out of nowhere, self-doubt assailed her. “You thought I’d say no? Is that the only reason you asked?”
“Absolutely not.” He cradled her cheek. “Listen to me, Lyndsey. If I wasn’t willing—no, if I didn’t want—to marry you, I wouldn’t have asked. However, you turned down most every offer I made at help, so even though I hoped you’d say yes, I didn’t believe you would accept a proposal this extreme.”
“I was confused, more than a little prideful. Deep down, I think I was afraid of ruining our friendship if I accepted too much help.” Shamed, she bowed her head. “I’m sorry.”
Having nothing of it, Shep tipped her chin. “Don’t be. This will take a lot of adjustments.”
“Tell me about it,” she muttered.
His face was near, his mouth inches away. Eventually, they would kiss, something she hadn’t done with anyone since Mark. She’d not even dated since his death. Would she enjoy Shep’s kiss? Dear goodness, what if she compared his advances to Mark’s? Calm down, Lyndsey. You’ll have to find a way to put Mark behind you and focus on Shep. He’s your reality.
The moment passed when she thought he might kiss her. Her chest deflated with a sigh of relief. One thing at a time.
“How’s Wednesday? I’ll stay at a hotel until then, and we’ll move your belongings into my house.”
“Wednesday’s a good day for a wedding, but I can’t kick you out of your house. Josh and I will stay at a hotel.” She glanced at her house. “I already scheduled the electricity and power to turn off tomorrow, or I’d stay here with an inflatable mattress.”
Shep scowled. “Will you accept my word on this? I’d feel much more comfortable with you at the house and me at a hotel.”
“Fine, I’ll stay at your house.” Some issues weren’t worth the argument.
“Good. We’ll swing by the courthouse on the way home, file the paperwork, then start unloading all this.”
She sucked in a ragged breath. I’m getting married.
Chapter Six
Jewelry stores, by their very nature, overwhelmed Shep. After shopping at four of them since the mall opened an hour ago, not to mention the two he’d patronized in other parts of town, he didn’t have much time left to shop. Lyndsey expected him twenty minutes ago.
He retrieved his phone from his rear pocket, sent her a text. They had all day to unpack, but first, he had an important mission to fulfill. Their marriage might not be one born from love, but, nonetheless, it would be full and binding.
That commitment warranted a diamond ring. Lyndsey also deserved a far better proposal than a hastily spoken decision that spilled from his mouth without conscious thought. That’s not to say the marriage caused him to feel trapped, or that he regretted asking. Quite the opposite.
Long after he’d checked into the hotel last night, he’d sat in a thinly padded chair and contemplated the future. When he closed his eye, he could hear Josh’s laughter filling the air, see Lyndsey’s smile lighting the rooms. Her trust in him to join their lives and step in as a father to Josh honored him. He hated the circumstances that brought them here, but he’d do his best to make Josh and Lyndsey happy.
“Do any catch your eye?” A man dressed in a three piece suit approached him from the opposite side of the counter.
Shep shook his head. “None, and I’ve been looking all morning.”
“I’m Kenneth.” The sales associate extended his arm for a handshake. “You are?”
He accepted the hand. “Shep.”
“Let me ask you a few questions, and together, perhaps we’ll find the perfect ring. Are you looking for only an engagement ring or a set?”
“Definitely a set. We’re getting married Wednesday.” Shep bit down on his bottom lip as he scanned the case again, but he didn’t miss the startled look on Kenneth’s face.
“This Wednesday?”
“Yes.”
The flabbergasted associate regained his composure, once again resuming a professional demeanor. “Are you searching for a particular style of ring?”
“No.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I hoped I would know once I saw it.”
“That’s not so uncommon. Many men don’t know where to begin if the woman hasn’t left any hints. Tell me about her.”
“Lyndsey is special. She’s stubborn and prideful, but selfless, responsible and giving. When she allows herself to open up and forget her troubles, she’s full of life and joy. Life hasn’t been easy for her the last few years.” Their story spilled out to the sales associate. After several minutes, Shep made a final statement to the associate. “You see, even though our marriage is unique, a modern day marriage of convenience of sorts, I don’t want her to feel cheated because there’s no love involved.”
“No love, huh?” A sparkle shone in Kenneth’s eyes. “Either way, it’s a fine thing you’re doing, stepping up and creating a new family.”
“Did all that give you any ideas for a set?” He let loose a chuckle, tinged with doubt that Kenneth had garnered any useful information.
“I have the perfect set, just came in yesterday.” Kenneth winked. “It’s still in the back. Don’t leave—I’ll be right back.”
While waiting for Kenneth’s return, Shep looked at the next case over. Dozens of rings and earrings had been positioned in the perfect spot for their stones to catch the beams cast from the case light. A set of emerald teardrop earrings caught his eye. They’d make a
perfect Christmas present for Lyndsey. Did she wear earrings?
He narrowed his eyes, trying to picture her ears. These were things a husband should know about his wife. The relationship from friend to fiancé progressed rapidly, without stopping to consider all they’d need to know. Sure, they’d discussed the major factors, but marriage and life were built on a myriad of small issues. Inhaling, he took in a calming breath. They had time to learn each other’s nuances.
All that mattered was that he and Lyndsey were committed to this.
Kenneth came back, carrying a small box. He flipped the lid and held it under a counter lamp. “What do you think?”
A grin spread. “That’s it. The simplicity of the band suits her, but the brilliance of the diamond matches her eyes when she smiles.”
“Solitaires are a timeless classic, and the princess cut is one of our most popular. Many of our latest matching sets feature wedding bands with inlaid diamonds, which makes this one rare. Its exquisiteness comes from its minimalism.”
“How much is it?” Don’t let it be too outrageously high. He’d preset a limit when he’d set out, and didn’t feel comfortable going over that number.
“They are platinum, a bit more than gold, but it’s a reasonable price and you can take advantage of our pre-Black Friday sale.”
“What’s the bottom line number?”
Kenneth tapped a few numbers into a nearby calculator and slid it toward Shep. “That’s your out-the-door number, tax included.”
Two hundred dollars less than he’d budgeted. Good thing since he knew he would have bought it regardless. He couldn’t picture any other set on Lyndsey’s finger. “I’ll take them. Add those earrings, as well,” he said and pointed to the adjacent display.
Ten minutes later, Kenneth handed him a green paper bag with the store’s logo printed on the side. “Best of wishes. Something tells me I’ll see you often in the coming years for anniversary presents.”
“Thanks for your assistance.” Shep carried the bag by the rope handles out to his truck and stowed it on the passenger seat.
He’d yet to work out the details of the proposal. Should he keep it simple—show it to her and slip it on her finger? No, that wasn’t much better than yesterday. He’d wait until tonight, once they were done unpacking for the day. That gave him another six to eight hours to think about how to propose…er…give her the ring that should have come with the proposal.
When he pulled into his driveway, Lyndsey sat on the front steps wearing a pair of jeans and a Steelers sweatshirt. As he opened the truck door, she stood. “Good morning.”
“Good morning to you, too. Sorry I’m late.” He pushed a button on the key fob to lock his truck. “I had a few errands that took longer than I thought they would.”
“I finished Josh’s room while waiting.” She adjusted her ponytail. “Are you sure you don’t mind? I feel bad kicking you out of your office.”
“You didn’t kick me out—I’m the one who suggested the switch.” Two steps and he reached her. “That room is bigger and makes a better bedroom. Even being a smaller room, the third bedroom is plenty big enough for a home office.”
“We’ll have to work together in the remaining rooms, find a way to condense two houses into one.” A glint bounced off the side of her face.
She wore earrings. A long sigh of relief emitted before he could stop. Funny, how learning a minute particle of knowledge gave him satisfaction.
“Keep whatever you want of yours. I’m not overly attached to any of my furniture except the recliner.” Hesitation took over. Should he tell her the truth? “After Miranda’s death, I got rid of all our furniture, cleared out the house. Too many memories. Most everything in there now is second hand.”
“That explains why nothing looked familiar.” A faraway expression glazed her eyes, but she quickly shuttered it into a smile. “Want a cup of coffee before we jump in for the next round? I put a pot brewing right before I went outside.”
He answered with a nod then followed her inside, navigating a maze of boxes. More of them than he’d expected were empty. “You’ve been busy.”
“I couldn’t sleep last night. At midnight, I gave up trying and unpacked the kitchen cartons.”
A night similar to his in terms of rest. “Did you decide when to tell Josh?”
“Tomorrow night.” The coffee pot gurgled, and she lifted the carafe, poured a cup. “Mark’s parents already planned to keep him until then, and I thought we could benefit from the extra time together.” Her hand froze on the cup handle. “To prepare the house and all.”
For a second, he’d thought she meant something else. He wouldn’t mind time alone with her, just to have more conversation. They’d talked for hours in the preceding weeks, while packing her house, but that was prior to their engagement. Since they’d decided to embark on a life together, he desired to know her at a deeper level.
Along with discovering answers to the question that should have been easy, such as did she have pierced ears?
He sat on a barstool at the counter after pouring a cup for himself.
Lyndsey sat beside him, not taking a drink. “I’m scared to tell Mark’s parents.”
The frankness of her admission surprised him. “Why?”
“They’ve never cared much for me. Mark was their late-in-life baby and ridiculously spoiled by them.” An unpolished nail tapped against the granite countertop. “Marrying an orphan raised in foster care wasn’t an ideal life plan for their son.”
“You were raised in foster care?” His mouth gaped open, and he willed his jaw to lift.
“Yes, from the time I turned eight.”
“In all our years of friendship, how come you never mentioned it?”
“I thought I had. Miranda knew.” Her eyes sought his with a peculiar expression. “Does it matter?”
Yes, yes it does because it explains so much about you. “No, but it caught me off guard. A husband should know these things.”
“Those years were hard, and I try not to think about them.” Sadness flickered in her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” His hand found hers.
“It could have been worse, so I can’t complain, but I prefer to remember the happy times of my life.”
“Understandable.” The urge to probe further into her childhood pressed into his heart, but he set it aside, sensing her unwillingness to travel that road. “Would it help if I go with you tomorrow night?”
“Hard to say.” Above her diffident stare, eyelashes kissed her brow line. “But I’d appreciate your support if you wanted to come.”
“I’ll be there.” He liked this side of Lyndsey, the one who lowered defenses and allowed herself to show vulnerability. It complemented her independent streak, which he also admired.
After they finished their coffee, they waded through the boxes crowding the house. Continuing where they left off yesterday in the upstairs rooms, they decided what furniture would stay and what would be relegated to the garage for later disposal. The queen size bed in his room was moved to the new office, where it would serve as a guest bed. He dismantled the rails from the headboard and carried them down the hall, maneuvering them into the third bedroom. There wasn’t room for the mismatched dresser, so Lyndsey helped him guide it from the second floor to first.
They manipulated her king size bed up the stairwell, turning at odd angles to make it fit through space restricted areas. Even more difficult was the chest of drawers and dresser. A sheen of sweat had broken out on his forehead by the time they finished.
“Thank goodness that’s it for the upstairs furniture.” Lyndsey swiped perspiration from her eyes. “I’m starting to regret telling you not to send for reinforcements.”
“The good news is, the downstairs will be a cakewalk compared to this.”
She gave him a mock scowl. “Do we have to do the downstairs?”
“Afraid so.” Noting the dark circles under her eyes, he added, “Eventually.”
“No
time like the present.” Offering a smile, she walked toward the hallway. “I should sleep better tonight. My muscles haven’t been worked like this since I went to the gym regularly before Josh was born.”
“I can get the rest of the furniture by myself, if you want to sort through boxes.” Visions of her stiff and sore tomorrow drifted through his mind, and he wanted to avoid her discomfort.
“Which closet should I use for my clothes?”
He pointed to the door diagonally across from the master bath. “That one is empty. There’s also a linen closet in each end of the hallway, with plenty of room in each. Feel free to use them however you want.”
“Do you have a specified spot to store holiday décor?”
“In the attic. Leave those boxes by the stairs and I’ll take them up, but set any Christmas items that you want this year in the garage since they’ll go up soon.” He walked down the steps with Lyndsey following on his heels.
They spent six hours working on the house, together most of that time, then agreed to stop for the night.
Lyndsey propped an elbow atop the oak bannister. “I can’t believe we cleared out all but a handful of boxes and furniture.”
“We make a good team.” He flipped a switch by the front door and the foyer brightened.
“Yes we do, but your garage thinks otherwise.” Despite her laughter, exhaustion lurked in her tone.
“Our garage,” he corrected. “I never park inside it anyway, only Miranda did.”
Sad eyes shuttered, and she rubbed her neck. When she opened her eyes, her gaze fixed on a picture hanging on the wall, the only one of Miranda he’d kept on display in the years since her death. “Do you think Miranda and Mark would approve of this?”
His gut twisted—he’d deliberated the same question with agonizing intensity. “I believe so. They would want us to be happy.”
“Will we be happy?” Her brows knitted, imploring him to tell the truth. “Can a marriage without love find joy?”
Doubts circled around her, creating a palpable tension. She didn’t have to voice them all. A force existed between them, one in which he knew her thoughts. He read the insecurities loud and clear.
