Discovering Sophie

by Anderson, Cindy Roland

  A crushing fear pressed down on Sophie, making it hard to take a breath. She thought about pushing the nurse call light to ask for something for pain when Yolanda came in holding a lunch tray.

  “I’ll bet you’re hungry, ¿no?” Yolanda said, placing the tray on the bedside table.

  Actually, Sophie felt sick to her stomach. Yolanda must have noticed and shooed everyone out of the room, saying Sophie needed to rest.

  Although Sophie was exhausted, the fear that she was losing Jack made it hard to go to sleep. She would probably be discharged the next day, but she had no idea what would happen after that.

  * * *

  Sophie glanced at the clock, wondering where Jack or even Peter was. She had eventually fallen asleep after Yolanda kicked everyone out of her room and had slept for nearly two hours. The rest must have done her some good, because she had just gotten out of bed and, with the help of her new nurse, had walked to the sink to brush her teeth and wash her face.

  There was a brief knock on the door, and Dr. Webster walked in. His wife wasn’t with him, but Jack and Peter were.

  “Well, you look much better, young lady,” the doctor said.

  “I feel much better.” Especially now that Jack was here.

  “When can I go home?” Sophie asked, anxious to leave the hospital.

  “I’d like to run another CBC, and if your platelet count is the same, you can go home in the morning.”

  “Home as in Colorado?” Peter questioned.

  Dr. Webster looked at her pointedly. “I think you would be okay, but you need to listen to your body.”

  “I can upgrade her flight to first class,” Peter offered.

  A stormy look crossed Jack’s features. “Let’s get her out of the hospital before we start making solid plans.”

  Dr. Webster stepped forward, cutting off the two men. “Jane and I are leaving in the morning to meet up with our group. I’ll talk with the doctor who is also following your care and if everything looks good, we’ll write the order for your discharge.”

  Sophie shifted in her bed. “Thank you. Will you please make sure to leave an address where I can keep in contact with you?”

  He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a business card. “Here’s our email address. We check it as often as we can.”

  Sophie accepted the card. “I can’t thank you enough for your help.”

  “Yes, thank you, Mark,” Jack said, shaking the man’s hand. “You were an answer to my prayers.”

  Peter shook the doctor’s hand as well. “Thank you, sir. For everything. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost Sophie.”

  “It was my pleasure.” He smiled and turned to Sophie. “Since your nurse reported how well you did ambulating, I wrote the order for your catheter to be discontinued.”

  Sophie grinned. “What about the IV?”

  “As long as you’re drinking enough fluids, the IV can be DC’d as well.”

  “Thank you. I can’t wait to take a shower.”

  Dr. Webster laughed and walked toward the door. “I’ll let the nurse know, and we’ll see you in the morning.”

  After the doctor left, Peter pulled out his cell phone. “I’ve got a room at the Marriott, and I can reserve another one for Sophie.”

  “That’s not necessary,” Jack said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “She can come to my house.”

  Peter lowered his phone, his eyes narrowing with irritation. “I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

  “What you think doesn’t really matter to me.”

  “Hey, you two,” Sophie said, interrupting them before it turned into a fight.

  “What?” the two men said at the same time.

  “Do I have a say in this?”

  “Of course,” Peter said.

  “No,” Jack snapped.

  She closed her eyes, laying her head back on the pillow. The two men couldn’t be more opposite.

  “Sophie,” Jack said, moving next to her bedside. “I’m not about to put you in some hotel when I have a home that will be much more comfortable. Plus, I don’t think you should be alone, in case you have a relapse or something.”

  Peter stepped next to the bed as well. “And I don’t think it would be appropriate for you to be alone in his house.”

  “Give me some credit, Elliot,” Jack said sharply. “I’m not going to take advantage of her. Besides, Isabelle and her two oldest daughters are coming to stay.”

  Peter looked only slightly mollified. “How far away is your house?”

  “About two hours.”

  “Two hours!” Peter’s voice was louder than his usual volume.

  Before another argument erupted, the nurse walked in. “The doctor say I remove the catheter.” Her English wasn’t as good as Yolanda’s, but she wasn’t as grumpy.

  “I would appreciate it,” Sophie said, glad for the excuse to kick Jack and Peter out.

  “I’ll be outside,” Peter said, leaving first.

  Jack paused for a second, his look hard. “I’m not going to argue about this anymore, Sophie. You’re coming to my house.” He turned to leave but stopped, looking back at her over his shoulder. “You know, if you’d just tell one of us to take a hike, this would all be a lot easier.”

  He left the room before Sophie could even come up with a response. What was going on with Jack? She thought it was obvious she was in love with him and not Peter. Did he expect her to yell at Peter and tell him to leave and that she never wanted to see him again? Peter was scheduled to fly out the day after tomorrow, so she assumed telling him to leave wouldn’t be necessary.

  Closing her eyes, Sophie forced herself to remain calm and told herself it would all work out. Jack was just uptight because of Peter. At least she was being released tomorrow. Once Peter left for home and she was convalescing at Jack’s house, they would have an opportunity to really communicate and make some tentative plans without Peter hovering around.

  * * *

  The minute Jack stepped out of Sophie’s room, he zeroed in on Peter. He stood at the end of the hallway, apparently waiting for Jack. He started forward and the urge to deck the guy was so strong Jack thought it might be better if he just kept on walking.

  “Jack,” Peter said. “Could we talk for a minute?”

  “Sophie is coming to my house, Peter. End of story.”

  “Right.” Peter’s lips flattened. “So you can just string her along a little longer before you decide what you want to do?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I think you know exactly what I mean.” He leaned forward, his eyes hard. “Sophie has no idea what is going to happen between the two of you. Obviously, you don’t either.”

  The accusation stung, mainly because it was true. “Our relationship is none of your business.”

  “You better believe it is!”

  A nurse hushed them and pointed to a door that led to a small patio outside. Jack wasn’t sure he wanted to finish this conversation, but he followed Peter out anyway.

  “You know,” Jack said, once they were outside. “If you were going to make a play for Sophie, you should’ve said so instead of giving me all that crap about needing time to say goodbye.”

  “I was saying goodbye, but I also intended on letting Sophie know that I love her and I still want to marry her.”

  “Yeah, you also threw in your two cents about how we haven’t known each other that long and that her feelings for me are fleeting.”

  “I believe that’s true.”

  “You just keep telling yourself that, counselor.”

  Peter’s eyes flashed with irritation. “Okay, Jack, for the sake of argument, let’s assume Sophie is really in love with you, but are you really in love with her?”

  “Yes.” Jack didn’t even have to think about the answer. He did love her.

  “Then what was that back in Sophie’s room earlier? You haven’t talked to her about any future plans or when you’ll see each othe
r again. Thanksgiving and Christmas are two holidays where families and loved ones get together, yet you haven’t once made any plans to spend time with Sophie. In fact, you insinuated you might be taking a group of doctors into the jungle.”

  “Sophie was obviously upset about that,” Peter continued. “It was almost like you wanted to let her know you probably won’t be moving to Colorado any time soon. To be honest, I got the impression you wanted to hurt her before she hurt you.”

  Ouch. Jack squirmed under Peter’s direct gaze, his gut knotted with guilt and remorse. He wished he could deny it, but he knew on some subconscious level the allegation was true.

  “She’s just lost her father, Jack. What she needs right now is to be surrounded by friends and family. People who love her and can help her get through the lonely days ahead as well as the holidays. What about you and your family? Are you prepared to give her that support?”

  Jack felt trapped. Peter knew very well Jack hadn’t spoken to his family for over a decade. The feelings of betrayal were still pretty raw, or he wouldn’t have reacted the way he had when he saw Sophie and Peter holding hands. Even now, with so much on the line, Jack couldn’t see himself seeking out his brother and his parents. Would they expect an apology from him?

  Jack’s throat tightened, and he looked away. He was so messed up. Did he really think saying a few prayers and deciding he wasn’t mad at God anymore had fixed him? He had years of bitterness and anger stuffed into every part of him. He talked about forgiving his brother and his parents, but at the same time, he doubted it would actually happen.

  How fair was it to ask Sophie to give up her chance to have a guy like Peter and his remarkable family for a screw up like Jack? Worse, she would probably do it without having any guarantees Jack would be the kind of man she deserved.

  “I think it’s safe to say we’re both in love with her,” Peter said, gaining Jack’s attention. “So let’s do what is best for her.”

  “And what would that be?” Jack clenched and unclenched his hand. “Have her fly home with you and live happily ever after?”

  “Frankly, yes.” Peter held up his hands to stop Jack’s protest. “Just listen to me for a second.”

  The muscles in Jack’s arms tensed, and his jaw ached from gritting his teeth. Rather than try and talk, he just nodded his head.

  “Look, I’m man enough to admit Sophie is crazy about you.” Peter puffed a wry laugh. “It’s obvious by the way her face lights up every time you walk in the room.”

  Jack felt panicked by how much she loved him. He wasn’t worthy of it.

  “Sophie’s already turned me down, and she made it clear she wasn’t changing her mind,” Peter said, his voice reflecting how hard that had been to admit. “So what I’m suggesting isn’t some lame effort to have you give her up so I can have her. It doesn’t work that way.”

  “What exactly are you suggesting?”

  “Let Sophie fly home with me. Give her a chance to have some time to think about her choices without all this conflict.” Peter’s eyes grew more serious. “It will also give you a chance to figure out what you want.”

  The band of guilt around Jack’s middle tightened. Peter’s suggestion might be self-serving, but the reasons behind it were valid. The weight of his thoughts made the muscles in Jack’s shoulders tense. A desire to escape made him take a step backward.

  “I need time to think about it.”

  “All right.” If Peter was surprised by Jack’s compliance, he didn’t let on. “I won’t say anything to Sophie.”

  Jack didn’t trust the guy and wanted to say something sarcastic. Peter must have sensed that. He held out his hand for Jack to shake. “I give you my word, Jack. I won’t say anything to her.”

  After a few seconds of battling his pride, Jack grasped the other man’s hand. “I hope you mean that.” He gave it a firm shake, then quickly dropped his hand and took another step back. What he needed right now was a good workout. His hotel wasn’t the Marriott, but it had a nice fitness room. Hopefully it would be available when he returned to his hotel room.

  They went back inside to wait for the nurse to come out of Sophie’s room. Jack paced the hallway, his mind preoccupied by Peter’s observation. He felt unworthy to pray but did it anyway. If there was ever a time in his life when he needed divine guidance, it was now.

  Finally, the nurse came out and said it was okay for them to go back into the room. Sophie was sitting up in bed, her face a shade paler than her normal color, but otherwise, she looked so much better.

  The tension was still in the room, although not as thick. Jack was pensive and distracted, but tried not to let Sophie see that. Peter did a good job keeping her engaged in conversation until an hour passed and the nurse came in to tell them visiting hours were over.

  Peter said goodbye first, kissing Sophie on the cheek. He didn’t make eye contact as he walked by Jack, leaving him alone with Sophie.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  Jack rolled his shoulders back and took a seat on the edge of her bed. “Yeah, I just have a lot on my mind.” He couldn’t resist touching her, taking her hand in his. Warmth from her skin rushed through him, the chemistry between them still so potent. “I want you to know I’m praying about us and what happens next.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Will you pray too?”

  A soft smile curved her lips. “I haven’t ever stopped.”

  Jack swallowed, his love for her so strong it nearly crushed him. “You have a good night and I’ll see you first thing in the morning.”

  He slanted forward and kissed her. Her mouth was soft and warm and tasted minty. She must have just brushed her teeth. Jack held back, even though he wanted to lengthen the kiss indefinitely. With great effort, he broke the connection and rested his forehead against hers. “I love you, Sophie. Don’t ever forget that.”

  Peter wasn’t waiting in the hall, and Jack was tempted to go back into Sophie’s room and sleep in the uncomfortable recliner. But he had a lot of thinking to do and needed to make a decision by morning.

  Once back in his hotel room, Jack changed into running shorts and a white tee. He found the fitness room and started a series of reps, working his arms and chest first. The workout cleared his mind and helped him to focus. By the time he finished, he knew what he needed to do. He just prayed it was the right choice.

  * * *

  Sophie removed the tag from the pink T-shirt and pulled the soft tee over her head, thankful the simple task of getting dressed wasn’t too draining. She unfolded the black, drawstring yoga pants Peter had purchased from the hotel gift shop for her, and slipped them on. It felt good to be dressed in something other than the unattractive hospital gown.

  She sat on the edge of the bed and glanced at the door. Dr. Webster and his wife had come by early this morning to say goodbye. Her discharge order had been written and she was ready to leave. But she couldn’t leave until Jack and Peter returned from the cafeteria. The two men were not friends, but they’d obviously learned to get along for her sake. Although she’d only seen them briefly this morning, they weren’t at each other’s throats like the night before.

  It still wasn’t clear to her what was going to happen today. As far as she knew, Jack was driving her to his house and Peter was going to follow them. His flight wasn’t scheduled until the next day so she assumed once he was satisfied Hector’s wife and girls were in Jack’s residence, he would say his goodbyes and go back to his hotel.

  There was a short knock on her door. “Sophie, are you dressed?” Jack asked.

  Just hearing his voice made her heart take off. “Yes. Come on in.”

  The door creaked and Jack stepped inside, then closed the door behind him. A smile edged up one side of his mouth as he made a slow perusal of her. “You definitely look pretty in pink.”

  “Thank you.” She started to get up but Jack stopped her.

  “I asked Peter to give us a few moments alone so we can talk.” He crossed the floor
in a few long strides and sat down on the bed with her.

  A nervous tremor started in her belly and worked its way through her. Was Jack going to ask her to marry him?

  Jack drew in a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. It had grown out over the past two weeks and she liked how thick and wavy it was. The desire to run her own fingers through his hair was tempered by Jack’s nervousness.

  “I’ve done a lot of praying.” He cleared his throat and finally met her gaze, his blue eyes looking so serious. “Sophie, I love you more than anything.” He fumbled for her hand and she was surprised by how cold his fingers were. “I want to marry you. I do.”

  An icy feeling spread through her limbs. Why didn’t this sound right?

  He swallowed hard and continued, “The thing is I can’t marry you, not until I get my life straightened out.”

  A high pitched ringing buzzed in her ears as she tried to comprehend what he was saying. Jack wasn’t proposing, he was breaking things off with her. She snatched her hand back and covered her mouth with her palm. No. No. No. Don’t do this to me. A sob broke through and she felt the sting of tears blur her vision.

  Anguish filled Jack’s eyes. “Please don’t cry. I need you to try and understand what I’m saying.”

  Sophie stood up abruptly, her legs so shaky she thought she would fall. She grasped the railing for support. “I understand perfectly, Jack.” She hated the pitiful sound of her voice. “You don’t want to marry me.”

  “What I want and what I should do are two completely different things.”

  Jack stood up, but she didn’t want him to touch her. She took a step backward, still clutching the bedside railing. “Don’t, Jack. Don’t make excuses.”

  He groaned and rubbed his hands over his face. “I’m not making excuses, Sophie.” He looked at her, begging her with those blue eyes of his to understand. “If I married you like I want to, I’d make you a lousy husband. Within months you’d be regretting your decision and grow to hate me.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not true. I could never hate you.”