Discovering Sophie

by Anderson, Cindy Roland

  “I’m screwed up, Sophie.” He tapped his head. “Here.” He tapped his chest. “And here.” His voice faltered, and she watched the color of his eyes intensify as they filled with tears. “I have to work through some things before I can even hope to be good enough to marry you.”

  Slowly, his words sunk in, and Sophie felt a tiny flutter of hope. “I don’t care how screwed up you think you are. I can help you work things out. We can even go to counseling together if you want.”

  A faint smile touched his mouth. “As much as I’d like to take you up on that offer, I know this is something I have to do on my own.”

  A few tears rolled down Sophie’s cheeks as he closed the distance between them. She didn’t move away. Couldn’t move away.

  “I’m not asking you to wait for me,” he said softly, “but I’m selfish enough to ask you to not give up on me.”

  Amidst all the anguish encompassing her, she felt a comforting peace settle over her. Sophie lunged forward and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face against his chest. Jack’s arms enfolded her, holding her in a tight embrace. His breath was ragged, and his heart thumped wildly as she clung to him.

  “I won’t give up,” she mumbled into his shirt. “And I will wait for you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  A knock on the door startled Sophie awake. She blinked a few times and sat up. There was another round of tapping, then the door cracked open. “Sophie, are you awake?” Camille asked, peeking inside the room. “Nope. You were sleeping.”

  “I’m awake now.” Sophie swung her feet over the edge of the bed and glanced at the digital clock. “I slept through my alarm again, didn’t I?”

  “Afraid so.” Camille stepped into the room and flipped on the light. “You told me if you did it again, I was supposed to dump a glass of water on you.” She held up a glass and grinned wickedly.

  “I was kidding,” Sophie said, shading her eyes with one hand.

  “Were you?” Camille walked toward her.

  Sophie quickly scrambled back up against the wall. “If you do it, you’ll just add another load of laundry to your list.”

  “It might be worth it.”

  “I’ll move back to my condo and there goes your built-in nanny.”

  “Okay, you win.” Camille laughed and took a drink from the glass.

  Sophie laughed with her, although some days she felt too hollow to even smile. Four weeks had gone by since she’d left Jack in Costa Rica and flown home with Peter. Camille had invited her to stay at her house until she felt better, and Sophie wondered if she would ever be able to move back home.

  “I can’t believe I overslept.” Sophie got out of bed and automatically turned to make her bed. “Am I ever going to be normal again?”

  Camille sighed and sat down on the bed, impeding Sophie’s work. “Hey, I can’t finish with you there.”

  Her friend patted the bed. “Come sit by me. We need to have a little chat.”

  “You do realize that’s how Jack dumped me?”

  “He didn’t dump you.” Her mouth puckered. “At least not technically.”

  Sophie sank down on the bed and laid her head on Camille’s shoulder. “He hasn’t emailed me for over two weeks now. I guess he ended up taking that group of doctors after all.”

  “At least he’s keeping in touch with you. When you first came home, you were convinced you’d never hear from him again.”

  “True.” Although their correspondence wasn’t very satisfying, at least Jack had emailed twice the first week she was home and once a week later. They were pretty much the same, asking her how she was feeling and then he’d tell her some cute story about one of Hector’s kids. He never talked about himself, or them, and Sophie had never asked.

  Camille nudged her in the shoulder. “It’s time to snap you out of your funk. Your leave from work is almost up, and we’re going shopping today to buy a sexy dress for you to wear to the hospital Christmas party. Next, we’ll have lunch, and then I made appointments for hair and nails afterward.”

  “I don’t want a sexy dress. The party is for the kids, remember?”

  “Well, I want a sexy dress then. Mine and Scott’s anniversary is coming up this weekend, and I want to knock the socks off of my husband.”

  Sophie giggled. “You seem to do that any time he sees you.” Camille had an amazing marriage. Living with them for the past four weeks had proven that to Sophie. It was embarrassing how many times she had caught the married couple making out. “I’m volunteering my nanny services as an anniversary gift.”

  “Thank you, but Peter won’t be very happy with you.” Camille stood up and pulled Sophie to her feet. “He’s still looking for a date to his fancy party at the country club this weekend.”

  “I’ve already told him no.” Sophie sighed. “He still believes my feelings for Jack are shallow and will eventually go away.”

  “Peter needs a girlfriend. Let’s sign him up for one of those online Christian dating services. I’ll bet he’d be a big hit.”

  “You can’t do that, can you?”

  Camille shrugged. “I have no idea, but it would be worth the try.” She motioned for Sophie to follow her. “The twins just went down for a nap, and the girls are at a play date. I’ve got homemade hot cocoa warming on the stove and cinnamon rolls ready to be iced.”

  “If you keep feeding me like this, I won’t be able to fit into any sexy dress.” Sophie eyed her friend’s slim figure. “In fact, how do you stay so thin when you eat like you do?”

  “Because I’m chasing kids all day long. And I’m not that thin, my clothes hide what giving birth to two kids and a set of twins can do to your body.” She glanced over at Sophie and smiled. “Speaking of thin, you need fattening up. Your ten pound weight loss isn’t a good look for you.”

  “Hey,” Sophie protested. “It’s not like I did it on purpose.” She just hadn’t had an appetite since returning home. Because of her illness and the death of her father, the hospital had granted her a six week leave of absence. She was scheduled to go back to work right after Christmas.

  Camille poured them each a steaming cup of chocolate and topped them off with a dollop of whipped cream. “So, did you get your dad’s house on the market?”

  Sophie scooted the mug toward her and nodded her head. “Yes, I emailed the real estate agent the contract yesterday.”

  Not all of her time had been spent wallowing in despair. She’d flown to Texas twice. The first time had been to make arrangements to sell her dad’s condo. Since he’d spent the majority of his time traveling to Central and South America, the contents of his house had been pretty sparse. She’d taken home a box full of mementos that had a special meaning to her and a dozen journals she’d found inside his closet. The rest of the furnishings had been donated to charity.

  The second trip, a week later, had been to attend a memorial service for him that the university had put together. It had provided the closure Sophie needed, giving her the sense of peace she was desperately looking for.

  “I know that must be a relief,” Camille said, placing the pan of homemade cinnamon rolls on the countertop. “I’m glad everything worked out.”

  “Me too.” Sophie lifted the mug and took a sip of the cocoa. Now if only her relationship would work out with Jack. She couldn’t bear to think about never seeing him again.

  Camille started icing the cinnamon rolls. “What about the hospital party? Is everything lined up for that night?”

  Although Sophie wasn’t working, she’d still agreed to help with the annual Christmas party for the children who were in the hospital, as well as their families. It was a big event where a lot of businesses donated wonderful gifts for those kids too sick to celebrate Christmas at home. Peter’s law firm was one of the biggest contributors. Sophie wondered if he would attend the party this year and if he would bring a date.

  “I thought I had everything done, but I got an email from Santa last night. He has a conflict with t
he date and can’t do it. I’ve tried other agencies, but everyone is booked.”

  “What about the guy you used last year?” Camille asked as she spread thick cream cheese frosting on the roll.

  “Don’t you remember he showed up intoxicated? I was trying to pump coffee in him as fast as I could before the kids started coming.”

  Camille started to laugh. “Oh, right. I forgot about that. The twins were only six weeks old, and I was a little crazy from lack of sleep.” She slid an iced cinnamon roll over to Sophie. “You know, there was a guy the church used a couple of years ago who was really good. His beard was even the real thing. I could call around to see if I can get a name if that would help you.”

  “Thank you!” Sophie said with relief. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Her eyes filled up with tears. “I really mean that. You and Scott, and your adorable kids, have kept me sane.”

  Camille took a seat beside Sophie. “We love you, Sophie.” She nudged her in the shoulder again. “And I’m glad my kids haven’t driven you crazy.” She took a sip of her cocoa. “Things will work out, and pretty soon you’ll have your own children to make you about as nuts as you can be without being admitted to a mental hospital.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “May I quote you on that when you’ve been up all night breastfeeding and changing poopy diapers?”

  Right then, the baby monitor in the kitchen transmitted the sound of one, or both, of the twins crying.

  One of Camille’s eyebrows rose up and she grinned. “It’s good thing they’re so stinking cute.” She scooted away from the bar and stood up. “And the way they light up when they see me makes being crazy totally worth it.”

  Sophie watched Camille run up the stairs. A few moments later, she heard the sound of Camille cooing to the babies, and the crying stopped. Longing for a family of her own shot through her, and she wondered if her turn would ever come.

  * * *

  Sophie listened to the cheery Christmas music and glanced at the clock for what seemed like the hundredth time tonight. Not only was Camille’s family late to the party, so was her Santa. The jolly fellow was supposed to make an appearance fifteen minutes ago. The man Camille wanted to get had moved out of the state, but luckily one of Scott’s golfing buddies had a brother-in-law who dressed up as Santa Claus each year and was free for the evening.

  Sophie adjusted the antlers on her head, grateful the children were having fun decorating the sugar cookies to leave out for Santa tomorrow night. But most of them would tire out quickly, so she wanted to get Santa here before that happened.

  Saying a quick prayer, Sophie fiddled with the zipper on her brown velour hoodie, wondering what she would do if Santa was a no-show. If she’d gone with last year’s costume and dressed as an elf, she could probably improvise and pass out the gifts herself. But this year, she decided to be a reindeer, dressing in a comfortable brown velour jogging suit with a cream colored camisole underneath. Completing the ensemble, she wore a headband with antlers and had painted her nose black. If it came right down to it, the kids would be okay with getting gifts from a reindeer. At least she hoped they would.

  The doors opened and several more families joined the party. Camille and her children trailed behind the group. Scott’s parents were with her, each holding a twin. Scott wasn’t with them, which hopefully meant Santa had arrived and he was staging his entrance.

  Camille crossed the room, holding her youngest daughter’s hand. “Sorry we’re late.” She grinned and eyed Sophie’s outfit. “Don’t you look adorable. Santa will be happy to see one of his reindeer.”

  Brooklyn tugged on her mother’s hand. “I need to go to potty before Santa comes.”

  Sophie leaned over and whispered, “Speaking of Santa, where is he?”

  Camille’s eyes sparkled. “Don’t worry, he’ll be here.” She looked around. “In fact, Scott should be coming in any second to announce his arrival.”

  “Good.” She peered behind Camille, seeing her oldest daughter Taylee already seated at the table to decorate cookies. “When did Scott’s parents arrive?”

  “About an hour after you left. I’m so glad they decided to forgo their cruise until after the holidays. They adore the boys and vice versa.”

  “Are you sure you want me to stay with you through Christmas?” Sophie asked, feeling very much like an orphan. “With Scott’s parents here, your house is going to be full.”

  Camille scowled while Brooklyn jumped up and down. “Of course we want you. You’re not moving out until after Christmas, and that’s final.”

  “Mooommmy!” Brooklyn whined. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

  “Go,” Sophie said, laughing.

  “I’ll be right back. Scott and his guest should be arriving any moment.”

  Linda, the HR director caught Sophie’s eye. She tapped on her watch, a look of alarm on her face.

  Just as Sophie reached her, Scott rushed through the door. “We’re here.”

  Sophie looked around. “Where’s Santa?”

  Scott pointed to the entrance. “Just right outside the doors.”

  Linda rushed over to the microphone, announcing Santa’s arrival. The song Here Comes Santa Claus played over the speakers, lighting up the pale faces of those children who were hospitalized for various illnesses and injuries. Tonight, they smiled just as brightly as their healthy siblings.

  Sophie heard the distinct sound of Christmas bells as Scott opened the door to allow the man of the hour inside.

  Sophie sighed with relief as the man playing Santa took his seat and gave a hearty ho-ho-ho. The last Santa had staggered in smelling like a brewery and sounding more like a pirate, as in yo-ho-ho.

  Linda sidled up next to her. “He’s good, and he’s not drunk.”

  “Thank goodness,” Sophie said, watching the volunteers help Santa distribute the appropriate gift to each child. Those children who were patients at the hospital received more expensive gifts than those of their siblings.

  Linda hugged Sophie briefly. “This has been a great party. Thanks for all your hard work.”

  “You know I enjoy it.”

  Linda gave her another smile. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. It’ll be good to have you back at work.”

  “Thank you. I’m looking forward to it.” Linda wandered off, leaving Sophie by herself. At that moment, Santa looked in Sophie’s direction and grinned. Sophie returned the smile and moved to speak to some of the other guests as they waited in line.

  The joy she experienced as the sick children received their presents, which included iPod’s, portable DVD players and mini game systems, made all her effort worth it. Even though the children were usually exhausted by the end of the night, she loved watching them return to their rooms happy.

  She made a mental note to make sure Peter got a personal thank you from her for his contributions. He’d come at the beginning of the party—with a beautiful woman at his side—but hadn’t been able to stay. It turned out that Peter had recently connected with Melanie Spencer, an old girlfriend from his sophomore year in college, when they’d both attended the same wedding a few days earlier. Melanie’s cousin had happened to marry an acquaintance of Peter. Apparently the renewed friendship must be going well because Peter was flying out to California to spend Christmas with Melanie and her family.

  Seeing Peter happy and totally smitten with someone else had helped ease Sophie’s conscience. It also made her miss Jack even more. When he returned from his latest outing in the jungle, she was going to be more assertive and tell him it was time for them to talk again.

  For now, Sophie was going to enjoy this moment and the smiling countenances on the children’s faces.

  Things continued to go smoothly, but throughout the evening Sophie caught Santa staring at her. It made her feel mildly uncomfortable, so she tried not to look at him very often. Unfortunately, she was going to have to stand near the man since the Campbell children had moved up in line and
Sophie wanted to get a picture of the kids on Santa’s lap. As she took a few steps toward them, Santa glanced her way and winked at her. Sophie quickly shifted her eyes and hoped he’d get the message that she wasn’t interested.

  Brooklyn was first, and Sophie couldn’t help moving even closer so she could hear what the little girl had to say. After asking for all of the Disney Princess’s dresses, Brooklyn threw her arms around the man’s neck and posed for Scott’s camera. Sophie took her own shot with her cell phone. When she lowered her phone to wait for the twins, she found the oversized elf staring at her again. He grinned and had the nerve to wink once more.

  Wonderful. This one wasn’t drunk—he was flirting with her.

  Once they took a picture of Santa holding the twins, it was Taylee’s turn. Santa asked her if she’d been good and what she wanted for Christmas. In between, he continued to make eyes at Sophie. It was getting a little embarrassing.

  After Taylee climbed down, Santa used his gloved finger to beckon Sophie to come to him.

  She scowled and spun around, giving her back to him. It was so annoying to have to deal with this. Wanting to avoid him further, she searched the room for someone to talk to. She spotted another coworker across the floor and started toward her.

  Before she got very far, Taylee skipped in front of her, holding a piece of paper. “Aunt Sophie, this is from Santa.” She handed her the note.

  Stunned, Sophie took the note and glared at the man. He had the audacity to wave at her. Ignoring him, Sophie turned away and unfolded the note.

  Hey, Reindeer Girl, come see Santa and tell him what you want for Christmas.

  Sophie felt her face burn with embarrassment.

  “What does it say?” Camille asked, coming up to stand by Taylee.

  Sophie showed her the note and spoke in a low voice so Taylee couldn’t hear her. “Who is this guy? I thought he was married.”

  Camille shrugged. “I never said that.”

  “Well, I can’t believe he’s hitting on me,” Sophie whispered indignantly. “I’m tempted to give him a piece of my mind.”