Secluded Heart

by Graysen Morgen

  “You do that to me.” She whispered seductively as she bit Remy’s lower lip. Remy pulled Chase against her tightly and traced her tongue around Chase’s lips. Chase broke the kiss and moved down very slowly placing light kisses on Remy’s tan skin from her breasts to her tight stomach. Tiny goose bumps rose on Remy’s delicate skin.

  Chase rubbed her cheek against the soft skin of Remy’s inner thigh and continued to place tiny kisses as she worked her way towards the glistening patch of thin hair. Chase spread the folds with her mouth so slowly Remy thought she’d explode before she was actually touched, her entire body quivered with anticipation. As Chase ran her tongue around the edge of the throbbing clit, Remy grabbed a hand full of her short hair and arched her back. Chase buried her tongue deep inside of her then ran it over the bundle of nerves as she slid two fingers easily inside Remy. She felt the muscle tighten around her as Remy moaned softly. Chase sucked, licked, and stroked fast, then slow, hard then soft, until Remy could no longer hold back the orgasm that exploded deep inside of her, she held onto Chase‘s hair with one hand and grasped the bed sheets with the other. Chase wasted no time kissing her way back up to meet Remy’s sweet mouth. Remy tasted herself on Chases tongue as they kissed each other with profound emotion. Their shadows merged together as one in the moonlight against the wall.

  No words were spoken as Remy placed sensual kisses on Chase’s ear and down her neck. She sat up and straddled Chase, then began caressing both of her breasts. She bent to kiss them both and run her tongue over the hard pink nipples. Chase gasped and held her breath as Remy moved further down her body. Remy held nothing back as she used her mouth to spread the folds and run her tongue through the wetness. She looked up at the sparkling green eyes gazing at her. Chase wanted nothing more than to feel this woman inside of her. As if she heard the words in Chase’s heart, Remy slid her fingers inside of Chase as she continued to tease the swollen clit with her tongue. Chase arched her back and reached her arms out to the side tugging on the sheet as she lost herself in the waves of orgasm. Her heart pounded fiercely as she tried to swallow past the knot in her throat. Remy moved back towards her and Chase took her chin in both hands. Their lips met tenderly once again. Chase wrapped her arms around Remy and held her tightly as they fell asleep tangled together.

  ***

  Chase woke up around midnight when she realized something warm was wrapped around her. She opened one eye to peak at the warm body. Remy’s head was just below her shoulder. Chase smiled and lightly kissed her forehead. Part of her wanted to thank god for bringing this beautiful woman into her life, and the other part of her was scared to death. She closed her eyes and breathed in the mixture of Remy’s scent mixed with their lovemaking.

  Chase’s alarm went off at four a.m. Remy sat up like someone had slapped her. Chase quickly turned off the annoying device. “I’m sorry.”

  “What time is it?” Remy stared around the room, it was pitch black outside.

  “Four, I have a scheduled surgery at six.” Chase looked into her eyes trying to read some kind of signal. “You don’t have to get up, just lock the knob and pull the door shut on your way out.”

  Remy pulled the sheet up over her bare chest. Chase leaned towards her, their lips parted in a passionate kiss, leaving both of them breathless. Chase swore inside for having to go to work and leaving this incredible woman in her bed. She got up and headed towards the shower while Remy laid back down and closed her eyes.

  A half hour later, Chase was dressed in a fresh set of dark blue scrubs and black sneakers. She leaned over Remy and gently kissed her lips. Remy stirred, but continued to sleep. Chase smiled as the image tugged at her heart.

  6

  “Good morning Dr. Leery.” The nurse said as she helped Chase get prepared for the operation.

  “That it is Cathy. That it is.” Chase smiled as the image of Remy in her bed came to view behind her eye lids. She opened her eyes to see her assistant for this operation walk into the prep room. Every operation was different, she worked with a group of six surgical nurses and three cardiac surgeons of different levels, some were interns, and others were attendings. They only had two resident cardiac surgeons on staff since it was considered a teaching hospital.

  “Good to see you again Dr. Leery.” The attending said as he stepped over to the sink.

  “You too Henry.” Dr. Henry Grainger was a black man that was probably a few years older than her, and definitely a couple inches taller. Nothing intimidated her, she seemed to be the friendliest surgeon in the entire hospital, and everyone was pleased to work with her. She waited until he was all set, then she said her little prayer for herself and pushed the double doors open with her elbows. “Here we go.”

  The elderly white man laid on the metal table covered with a heavy blanket from the waist down. A thin paper sheet covered his chest. Various wires and hoses stuck out from his face, chest and right hand where he was attached to a ventilator, an IV line, and an EKG machine for monitoring his heart rate. Doctor Grainger inserted his endotracheal tube while Cathy, the red headed nurse, began opening the sterile packages of surgical instruments.

  ***

  Three quarters of the way into the eight hour valve replacement and bypass surgery, the patient’s heart rate dropped suddenly, and then began beating rapidly. All three of them rushed around trying to control the erratic beating of the man’s heart. His chest cavity was pried open and his heart was in the middle of being repaired in various stages.

  “Bag him!” Chase yelled to the other surgeon as the nurse brought the defibrillator paddles to her. Chase inserted the two thin metal spatula shaped paddles into the man’s chest, one on either side of his heart.

  “Charge!” She yelled. The nurse turned the machine up to two hundred. “Clear!” Chase yelled as she pushed the button to shock the heart. The varying rhythm continued, and then it stopped completely. Dr. Grainger continued to squeeze the bag forcing oxygen into the patient’s lungs.

  “Three hundred!” Chase yelled and repositioned the paddles as the nurse turned the dial up. “Clear!” She shocked the heart again. The monitor was still showing a straight line and a loud steady tone continued form the speaker of the machine. “God damn it! Come on!” Chase removed the paddles and began massaging the man’s heart with her gloved hands, trying everything she could to bring the organ back to life. Five minutes had passed on the wall clock. It was a hospital rule that after five minutes resuscitation stopped. “Go to four hundred Cathy!” Chase yelled and stuck the paddles back into the man’s chest. The nurse obeyed and turned the dial even higher. The machine made a loud buzzing noise, but the large muscle never moved.

  Chase set the paddles down and backed away from the man. She looked up at the other surgeon. “Call it, Dr. Grainger. “She pulled her gloves off and tossed them into the hazardous waste bin.

  Henry looked at the clock. “Time of death is twelve thirty two p.m.” He pulled the spreader off of the chest cavity and closed the rib cage. Then he pulled the tube out of his chest and laid it on the instrument tray. Cathy pulled the sheet up, covering the man completely.

  Chase took the rest of her covering off and left the room. As soon as she washed her hands and splashed water on her face she took a deep breath to pull herself together. Here comes the hard part. She never understood why people died. No procedure was ever the same. Lucky for her, this was only the second patient she ever lost on her table. She’d grieve later. Right now, she needed to go tell the man’s family.

  ***

  Chase left the critical care waiting room. She proceeded down the hall and took the back stairwell to the rooftop of the hospital. The emergency helicopter was gone, she was all alone. The tears fell before she was able to move from the doorway. She didn’t try to stop them, as this was only her body’s natural way of handling the loss of a life in her hands. This was only the second time that she’d cried in at least fifteen years. The only other time was the very first person she lost during another
open heart procedure in her attending year. This time, like the time before, it was an elderly man in very critical condition and his family wanted to do everything they could to get a few extra years out of his heart since he wasn‘t able to be put on the donor list.

  The tears continued to fall as Chase sat Indian style on the concrete helicopter pad. She stared up towards the sky, the bright Florida sun was beating down on her, causing her to perspire. The pager clipped to her scrub pants buzzed, she checked to make sure it wasn’t an emergency. It was the surgical Chief of Staff. Great. Pull yourself together Leery. She sniffled one last time and wiped her face. She decided to stay out there a little longer before going to face her boss.

  ***

  The large square office felt stuffy when she walked in and sat down. Dr. Paul Kellogg sat behind the desk. His grayish brown hair was shaved close to his balding head. He was wearing a lab coat over his dress pants and tailored shirt.

  “How are you holding up Dr. Leery?” He spoke with a deep voice.

  “I’m fine, considering the circumstances.” She did her best not to look grim.

  “I need you to give me your statement. Cathy Pierce and Dr. Henry Grainger have already given me theirs.” He handed her packet of papers to fill out. “I want you to go fill these out in your office and bring them back to me. After that…” He looked at her swollen eyes. “Go home and take a deep breath Chase.”

  “I…” She took the packet off the desk and decided against finishing her shift. “Thank you.” She was glad he suggested it, more like ordered it.

  ***

  Chase signed the pages and filled out the events of the operation leading to the patient’s death. It took over an hour to do. Afterwards, she returned it to him and left for the day. She decided to go ahead and clear her schedule and take a personal day the next too.

  As soon as she reached the garage she remembered the beautiful way her morning started out. “Talk about one hundred and eighty degree turn around. I guess with pure heaven, you must encounter some kind of hell.” She said as she got into her car. She dialed her home number, but the machine picked up. Yeah, like she’s still going to be there at three o’clock you dumbass.

  Chase dialed her cell phone and placed the speaker on as she backed the car out of the parking spot. On the third ring a high pitched bubbly voice answered.

  “Hello, Deluca Art Gallery. How many I help you?”

  “Can I speak with Francis Deluca, please?”

  “Yes, may I ask who is calling?”

  “Chase Leery,”

  “Oh, hello Dr. Leery, I’ll let her know it’s you. Hold on for just a moment.” Chase rolled her eyes and waited for Frankie to pick up.

  “Dr. Leery, Ms. Deluca is on the other line, she said she’d call you back as soon as she can.”

  “Okay thanks.” Chase hung up the phone and turned towards the beach. She was glad she only worked a few miles from home. That made the long hours somewhat bearable knowing she could be home in fifteen minutes. Part of her hoped the beautiful brunette was still in her bed, at least, that thought counter acted the sadness she was still feeling.

  When she walked in she found a note lying on her dresser. She was glad she decided to go change clothes and not just crash on the couch, she wouldn’t have seen the note for hours.

  Chase,

  I’m sorry. I don’t what else to say to you. This was a mistake. I can’t see you again. Please don’t try to contact me. I’m very sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I made a stupid mistake and I’m sorry.

  Remy

  Chase saw a couple tiny water marks on the paper, obviously from tears. She read over the short note at least ten times. Then, her cell phone rang.

  “Hey.” She said in monotone as she walked into the living room and sat on the couch.

  “What’s up?” Frankie asked.

  “Where do I start?” Chase said sarcastically.

  “Huh? What’s wrong Hun? Start from the beginning.”

  “Well, my morning began wonderfully, and then a patient died on my table…”

  “Oh my god Chase, I’m so sorry.”

  “Thanks, to make matters worse I came home to a note.”

  “A note from who?”

  “The adorable woman I woke up with this morning, apparently it was mistake on her part.”

  “Who? What woman? You’re not back with Yelena are you?”

  “Hell no! I…” Oh shit. She realized she was about to let the cat out of the bag.

  “Well?”

  “What time are you leaving work?”

  “Uh…I can leave now.”

  “Good, I don’t feel like being alone right now.”

  “I’m on the way.”

  Chase closed her phone and tossed it on the table, and then she kicked her sneakers off and curled up on the couch. She didn’t have the courage to walk back into her bedroom and see the rustled sheets again.

  A half hour later Frankie was knocking on the door. Chase jumped up to let her in. “I’m so sorry honey.” Frankie threw her arms around her. She wasn’t sure what else to say, they’d been friends for almost seven years. Frankie had never heard of Chase losing a patient.

  They moved from the foyer into the living room. Chase sat on the couch and put her sock covered feet up on the table. Frankie sat next to her and put her feet up too.

  “What happened, Frankie? I don’t understand, one minute I was stitching a bypass and the next he crashed. I did everything.” Her voice cracked. “I massaged his god damn heart with my hands trying to bring him back!” The sadness was turning to anger.

  “How old was he?”

  “Seventy five,” She sighed. “He was critical and his heart wasn’t going to make it much longer. His family wanted to get a few more years out of him so they opted for a major operation, one that involves surgical procedures that I do every day.”

  “Well Chase, he was seventy five and terminal. His chances probably weren’t that great to begin with.”

  “I know, but he shouldn’t be dead Frankie!” Frankie grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “I know. I have to go in front of the medical board after they review the file.”

  “That sucks.”

  “Yup, but that’s medicine for you. It‘s also the reason I carry a personal million dollar malpractice insurance policy.”

  “I’m sure it won’t come to that.”

  “I hope so.” She said, knowing she did everything accurately.

  “Hmm…” Frankie smacked her thigh. “So who’s the woman that broke your heart today?”

  Chase wanted to crawl in a whole. “I …” Shit.

  “Spit it out Chase. Who is she?”

  I can‘t lie to her, if I did and she found out she‘d never forgive me. “Remy Sheridan,”

  “Oh my god Chase,” Frankie was hysterical. “You slept with her!? Oh my god!”

  “Calm down.” Chase stood up and walked over to the liquor cabinet by the wall. “I need a drink. Want something?”

  “The stiffest thing you have in there, make it a double. Damn it Chase, I thought there was nothing between you two.”

  Chase walked back over to the couch with two neat glasses of whiskey. “So did I.” It only took two sips to empty the glass. “I don’t know. Everything happened so fast.”

  “How? How the hell did she end up in your bed?” She finished her own glass. “Where the hell was Baron or Brian or whatever the fuck his name is?”

  “Out of town.” Chase sat back on the soft leather sofa. “She’s so god damn shy, we haven’t said more than three or four words at a time.”

  “Okay?”

  “I don’t know Frankie!” Chase yelled. “She told me to stay away from her when we were at Rainer’s, then she shows up at the hospital and is all over me again. She asked me to take her home.”

  “So you do! What the fuck Chase.”

  “I…” God damn it. “I don’t know, I’m
very attracted to her.”

  “That doesn’t mean you bring her home and fuck her Chase!”

  “It wasn’t like that Frankie! God, do you have to be so vulgar?”

  “Well, how did it happen then?”

  Chase closed her eyes, she picture the entire night and morning like it had just happened. She took a deep breath. “I brought her here and one thing led to another. It was so natural, I showed her around the house and the next thing I know we were in my bed.” She starred at the painting hanging on the wall across from them. “Do you remember me telling you about Yelena?”

  “What about her?”

  “Sexually. Anyway, last night…Frankie last night was the first time I’ve ever actually ‘made love’ to someone,” Frankie saw the sadness in her best friend’s eyes. “Probably the last time too.”

  “What happened with her?”

  “I don’t know, she left me a god damn note saying she was sorry but it was all a mistake.”

  “Man. When you step in shit, you really fucking step in it!”