Secluded Heart

by Graysen Morgen

  “Gee thanks!”

  They both laughed. “At least you’re not in love with her.” Chase turned away. “Oh no, Chase.” Frankie shook her head.

  “No, I’m not in love with her, but I could fall for her very easily.”

  “The best thing for you to do is stay away from her.”

  “I took tomorrow off. I need to clear my head before I go back to work.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I really wasn’t prepared for this when I got home. What a total cluster fuck.”

  “You can’t fix everything Chase, you’re human honey.” Frankie put her arm around her. “Wanna get drunk and watch cartoons?”

  “God I haven’t done that in years.” They laughed. Chase refilled their whiskey glasses and turned the Family Guy on.

  ***

  Two hours later they‘d consumed at least four or five glasses of whiskey each.

  “Ha ha.” Frankie was laughing hysterically. ‘I can’t believe you found a marathon of this. I never watch it anymore.”

  “I know. Yelena hated it! I love Stewie the baby. He’s funny as hell.”

  “Brian the dog is a trip. I loved the episode where he dated Meg.” Frankie was chuckling so hard she thought she’d pee her pants. Chase didn’t forget about the events of her day, but she was doing a pretty good job of putting them in the back of her mind.

  7

  A little over three months later, life was semi back to normal for Chase. Work was moving along as usual, she finally let herself get over losing a patient on her table. She owed her group of friends for that; they seemed to be right there to cheer her up. She hadn’t heard from or seen Remy. Chase seemed to be over it, but deep down she was hurting, although she was still furious with herself for getting involved with a straight woman to begin with.

  “I can’t believe it’s already Thanksgiving. It’s still a hundred god damn degrees outside!” Gayle said as she ordered a chilled latte from the waitress. She was wearing a light green tank top and black shorts. The new girl she was dating, sat next to her, somehow she didn’t fit in with the group. Maybe it was because she was pasty white with freckles and orange red hair. The complete opposite of anyone Gayle had ever dated, she was usually with some of the hottest girls. Still, the group kept their mouths shut. Everyone seemed to learn from their mistakes with Chase after she told them about her heartbreaking episode with Remy. She threatened to tear their heads off anytime someone made a comment about it.

  “I’ll be glad when the holidays are over, I could care less about the weather, I’m use to sweating my ass off year round, I’m from here, remember?” Chase laughed and took a sip of her coffee.

  “What’s the weather like in China, Ping?” The new girlfriend asked. Ping rolled her eyes. Chase spit a mouthful of coffee onto the table nearly choking.

  “I wouldn’t know, I was raised in Florida, by white people.” She raised an eyebrow, almost egging the girl to comment. But, she didn’t, instead she stroked Gayle’s hand like she was some kind of animal with fur. Chase and Frankie both snickered.

  “So…” Frankie sat back in her chair. “At Christmas I’ll be having the Annual ‘Best of the Year’ show. The plan is for the week before Christmas, with that first Friday night being a large private showing and party.”

  “Cool.” Ping smiled.

  “I can’t wait, I love mingling with the rich artsy people.” Gayle said. “Have you ever been to an art gallery Maureen?” She said to the girl sitting next to her.

  “No. But, it sounds like a lot of fun!”

  Great, Chase thought. Not only will she be there. Referring to the woman she was desperately trying to forget. But Gayle’s new flame will be tagging along. Absolutely wonderful. I can always fill my schedule to the gills, but I have to be there for Frankie. I guess I’m going. She gave her best ‘I can’t wait’ smile and raised her glass to toast the event.

  ***

  Two weeks later Chase was sitting in her office signing charts and setting her schedule, she had three more consultations to do before her day was over. She was glad to see Thanksgiving come and go. She spent the day with the girls at Frankie’s house. Frankie made the turkey and everyone else brought some sort of dish. Chase settled for squash casserole, she was glad she still had her mother’s old recipe. Gayle still had Maureen around. Everyone secretly wondered how long the little affair would last. Ping tried to coerce Chase and Frankie into putting money on it, but Chase refused. She’d already had her go ‘round with Gayle, which actually happened by mistake. Therefore, she would feel bad about betting on how long Gayle would keep this girl around.

  Of course, she still had the art show to consider. Chase wished for a way to get out of going. Seeing Remy was not something she was in the mood for. She’d almost rather fall into a rat infested sewer drain naked. At least she’d have a reason to feel depressed. On the other hand, she couldn’t really let her life come to an end over a one night stand, so she decided to suck it up and go with a smile. It may be an ‘eat shit’ smile, but she’ll still appear happy and as if nothing ever happened between them. Surely, Brian or Barron or whatever the hell his name was, would be there on her side. One more reason for Chase to curse herself, not only was it a one night stand where she practically fell head over hills like a love sick teenager, but damn it, it had to be a straight woman, with a boyfriend no doubt.

  Chase continued to do her paperwork, at least work kept her head clear. She was back to working close to ninety hours a week when she volunteered at the Heart Institute. They always had some kind of seminar going on that they wanted her to speak at or be a part of in her spare time. What spare time? She thought.

  ***

  “I can’t believe they’re still together.” Ping said as she walked into the art gallery with Chase. “It’s been what six maybe eight weeks.”

  Who gives a shit Ping?” Chase stated as she held the door open to the exhibit hall. “Gayle likes Maureen; maybe she found her soul mate.”

  “Ha. Leave it to you to get all sentimental and shit Chase.” Ping laughed.

  “Are you jealous?”

  “Hell no, have you seen her?”

  Chase decided not to comment on Maureen’s looks. “I’m only stating the obvious Ping, let it go. The next thing you know Gayle will be single again and you’ll be the one asking ‘where’s Maureen?’ I know how you work.”

  They walked towards the nearest waitress and grabbed a couple glasses of champagne. Frankie spotted them from across the room and immediately made a beeline towards them.

  “Hey guys.” Frankie hugged them both. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “There you are. I lost you when we came in the door.” Gayle said as she and Maureen met up with the group. Chase wasn’t about to say ‘well we had to take a detour because Ping wouldn’t keep her mouth shut’.

  “Chase, Ronnie’s here, she was asking about you.”

  “Ronnie?” Chase looked at her with a crooked stare.

  “The girl she tried to set you up with last time.” Ping announced. Chase was beginning to the think Ping needed to get laid, she was becoming a nuisance.

  “Oh, I remember her. Where is she?”

  “Come on, I’ll take you to her.” Chase followed Frankie into another section of the large partitioned room.

  Veronica Petrovski was as tall as Remy. Chase blamed it on the stilettos she was wearing. Otherwise, she figured she was only a little taller than Chase.

  “Hi, it’s nice to see you again.” Ronnie said with a smile. Her curly dark hair hung a little past her shoulders. She was wearing a crème colored pants suit with a salmon colored blouse underneath. Her olive complexion contrasted perfectly. Chase had to admit the woman was beautiful.

  “Likewise Ms. Petrovski,” Chase smiled back.

  “Please, call me Ronnie.” She winked.

  Okay, this is off to a good start. Then Chase recognized the work on the wall next to Ronnie’s. Damn it. Sure enough Remy was standing in the middle
of a small cluster of people that were admiring her art. When Chase saw the deep brown eyes gazing her way she immediately turned back towards Ronnie. You wanna play games, I can play your god damn games alright. Chase offered to get Ronnie another glass of champagne. She quickly returned to find Remy watching her every move. She saw the tall sandy haired man at Remy’s side when he put his arm around her. She laughed at something he said, all the while staring in Chase’s direction. Jealousy is not the game you want to play with me ‘Miss Thing’. Chase smiled. Game on. She stepped closer to Ronnie and initiated conversation. Minutes later they were walking around together. Ronnie had her arm in the small of Chase’s back as she walked her around to each piece, explaining the lines and thought process behind each of her paintings that were on display in this particular exhibit. Remy saw the two of them finally leave the entire room together.

  Ronnie took Chase to the back of the gallery into another exhibit that was closed off because of the show that night. A few of her favorites were in this room. She showed Chase each one and continued to describe them to her.

  “I’m very fond of you, Dr. Leery.” She said with pride.

  “Please, call me Chase.” Ronnie reached out and stroked Chase’s jaw with the back of her hand. Chase flinched with the first touch of their skin. She felt terrible, here was this beautiful woman throwing herself at Chase, and all she could think about was Remy. Using this woman to play Remy’s twisted game of cat and mouse was not the smartest thing she’d ever done. Chase couldn’t think fast enough as Ronnie leaned in and kissed her. Their lips met softly at first, and then passionately parted to allow their tongues to taste one another. Neither of them noticed the woman in the doorway. She walked away before they parted.

  “That was …uh…” Chase fumbled for words.

  Ronnie smiled. “It was nice. In fact, I’d like to do it again.” She leaned in and kissed her once more. Chase didn’t stop her. She seemed to welcome the contact and the embrace that followed. When Chase opened her eyes she was in the woman’s arms and inches from her face. She looked into the brown eyes staring at her. The wrong brown eyes. She thought to herself. Damn it let it go. Chase initiated the next kiss; this time doing everything she could to push Remy from her mind.

  When they parted again Chase found her voice. “We should get back. I’m sure my friends are probably looking for me.”

  “Yes, you’re probably right.” Ronnie touched her cheek. “I’d like to see you again.”

  “I think I’d like that too.” Chase spoke before she thought about her words. Hell, I wouldn’t mind having meaningless sex with her. She’s definitely better looking than Maureen. Chase hid the snicker from her mind.

  ***

  “Where the hell have you been?” Ping asked when she spotted Chase walking back into the open exhibit. Chase smiled. Frankie shook her head. At least she was off with Ronnie, another lesbian and a single one for that matter.

  “What did I miss?”

  “Nothing Houdini,” Ping said with a sarcastic grin. Chase searched the room for Gayle and Maureen. She noticed them talking to a few people in the corner. Chase continued to scan the room. Remy was staring back at her and alone. Now’s your chance. Go in for the kill. She thought to herself as she headed in Remy’s direction, stopping to grab another champagne glass on her way through the crowd.

  “Hey.” Chase was lost in the chocolate brown eyes gazing at her. She’d never been able to feel so much of someone through their eyes. Her heart did a back flip and stuck in her throat.

  “Hi.” Remy’s eyes never wavered.

  “It’s…uh…so…uh…” Shit.

  “I…I didn’t think you’d be here.” Remy finally said as they continued to look into each other’s eyes.

  “Frankie’s my best friend. I’m at all of her shows.”

  “Yeah…” Remy tried to say something else, but Ronnie appeared at Chase’s side.

  “I lost you. Are you ready to get out of here?” Ronnie’s voice was full of seduction as she placed her hand on Chase’s back.

  “I…uh…” Checkmate! Remy’s eyes were questioning her. “Sure, let’s go.” She went to walk away with Ronnie, and then turned back towards Remy. “Good to see you again Ms. Sheridan.” She flashed her ‘eat shit’ smile and walked away. She closed her eyes as soon as she met the sweltering heat outside. One lone tear made its way down her check. She was thankful for the darkness. Ronnie didn’t notice the brief show of emotion. Chase wiped her face and continued walking towards her car.

  “Where are you parked?” Ronnie asked. Chase hit the alarm and keyless entry and the lights flashed on her Mercedes Roadster sitting across the road. “Nice!”

  “It gets me from Point A to Point B.” Chase smiled ear to ear. That car, next to the oceanfront condo she lived, was the only thing she ever splurged on for herself. The rest of her treasures were at the hands of Yelena. “Hey, I’m kind of hungry, would you mind if we just went to dinner? I don’t think I’m going to be great company tonight.” Honestly, Chase wanted to go back inside and smack Remy for making her fall for her. Although, she was equally to blame, she let it happen.

  “No, dinner’s fine with me. I‘ll follow you.”

  8

  Chase was coming out of Rainer’s after having her usual Sunday brunch with the group. Remy was about to enter the restaurant at the same time. Their eyes locked. Chase’s first instinct was to step aside and let her go by, but she decided against it.

  “Can we talk?” She stepped onto the sidewalk outside of the entrance way to the door.

  “Okay?” Remy was nervous, Chase could see it in her floundering eyes.

  “What’s going on with you? I…”

  “Did you sleep with her?” Remy blurted out.

  “Huh? Who?” Chase furled her eyebrows together, and then it clicked. Her little stunt must’ve worked. “No. But even if I had, what’s it to you? You’re the one with the boyfriend.” Chase ran a hand through her own short hair. Neither woman broke eye contact. “Look I don’t want to have an affair with a straight woman, much less one that’s involved in a relationship.”

  “He’s only my boyfriend, I’m not married.”

  “You’re straight!” Chase raised her tone. “Or at least I thought you were.”

  “I am straight.” Remy said.

  “This is a losing situation for me.” Chase shook her head.

  Remy pushed her against the side of the building and kissed her. All rational thinking flew out of Chase’s ears as she wrapped her arms around Remy and pulled the taller woman against her. The kiss took them both to new heights as their lips parted and tongues explored. A hot and heavy make out session wasn’t what Chase pictured when she thought about confronting Remy on their situation, but she couldn’t resist the pull this woman had with her, or the way her entire body, mind, and soul opened up to Remy just by looking into her eyes.

  “I want you.” Remy whispered in Chase’s ear.

  “God I want you too!” Chase kissed her once again, leaving them both breathless. “I…Remy…”

  “Take me home with you.” Remy’s brown eyes were glazed over with desire. Chase would be a fool not to go make love to this adorable woman, but she’d be stupid to get deeper involved than she already was.

  “We…what about…”

  “Out of town,” She said softly.

  Chase forced herself to let go of the woman that fit perfectly against her. “Remy…” The taller woman tried to butt in. “Listen to me, please…” She pleaded with her as her own heart melted right there on that sidewalk. “I can’t…I’m not going to do this, not unless I can have all of you. I‘m not going to be another mistake.”

  “It’s complicated.” Remy said as a tear rolled down her face. Chase wiped the warm liquid from Remy’s face and kissed her lips tenderly.

  “Call me when it’s not.” Chase said flatly, and then she turned and walked away. She fought off the tears long enough to get into her car. They flowed like a
waterfall as she drove away from the curb. God damn it! Could my life possibly get any worse?

  Chase never saw the SUV to her left run the red light. The large red truck was headed straight for her, as she crossed the intersection it t-boned the driver side of her Mercedes sending her little car careening into a parked car head on. The rollercoaster ride she was on came to a stop after the airbags deployed. What felt like minutes lasted only seconds. Chase hit the left side of her face on the door, causing a small cut and a huge bruise around her left eye. She was close to unconscious when a nearby witness raced over to check on her. Another passerby was already on the phone with nine-one-one.

  “Are you okay ma’am?” The man asked. He couldn’t reach her, but he smashed out the rest of the passenger window so he could at least see her. “Don’t move. Help is on the way.”

  “I…m…” She tried to speak, but couldn’t form the words. Her head felt like someone put it in a vice. She closed her eyes.

  ***

  As soon as the fire department finished cutting the tiny car up, they strapped Chase to a backboard and hauled her out of the twisted metal and into the back of the ambulance. The driver of the truck wasn’t wearing his seatbelt so he was thrown from the vehicle and died on the scene. He was definitely drunk. You could smell the alcohol coming from the truck. He was speeding and never hit his brakes.

  Before the ambulance left Chase’s cell phone started ringing, the policeman on the scene answered it.

  “Excuse me?” Frankie said when she heard the deep male’s voice on the other end. “I think I have the wrong number.”

  “Are you trying to reach…uh…” He looked at the name he scratched on his report. “Ms. Leery?”

  “Yes, Dr. Chase Leery. Why do you have her phone?” She said.