How to Be Your Dog's Best Friend

by Monks of New Skete

  "He needs the fresh air and exercise."

  "We did it with our old dog, and it worked."

  Occasionally there may be compelling reasons for keeping a dog outside on an exclusive basis. There may be an allergy in the family, or an elderly or handicapped person in residence. As any dog owner knows, certain sacrifices must be made to keep a dog. Hair on the furniture and floors is a reality of life with a dog, as is an occasional accident. It is a rare dog who needs exercise or fresh air twenty-four hours a day.

  If your dog must live outside, provide her with a large yard and a good doghouse. The doghouse should be made of wood and painted a light color in summer and a dark color in winter. The color of your doghouse affects its interior temperature. The floor of the doghouse should be carpeted or otherwise insulated. Cedar shavings are good for warmth. Outdoor dogs need more fat in their diet when the temperature drops down into the forties or lower. The most convenient method is to add a tablespoon of vegetable oil to the dog's daily diet.

  But most often a dog lives outside for one of two reasons: her owners prefer it that way and see no reason to change the dog's lifestyle, or the dog has been tried indoors and was too unruly. If the second reason is the excuse, we hope this book will guide you in coping with behavioral problems so that your dog can reenter your living quarters. If you simply prefer (or demand, as the case may be) that the dog live outdoors, there is probably no changing your mind.

  Our advice to such owners faced with behavioral problems is to try the dog in the house for one week. Expect the first couple of days to be hectic. Let the dog sleep in your bedroom. If this is strictly out of the question, we suggest a limited program of obedience training done outdoors. Remember, no guarantees can be made about changing behavior that is related to social isolation, unless the dog is no longer banished. Owners who are absolutely intransigent about letting the dog into the house, even on a limited basis, might do well to consider placing the dog elsewhere and investing in a domestic animal that adapts more easily to life outdoors — for instance, a horse, a cow, or a pig.

  Sensitivity Exercises

  19

  Your Dog May Be Lonely

  We hear a lot about America's pampered pet population these days, but such pets are in the minority. Dr. Benjamin Hart, currently director of the Center for Animal Behavior at the University of California at Davis, remarks, "Ninety-nine percent of pets aren't pampered." And he adds, "If your dog is tearing up the place, he could be lonely or he could need more exercise."*Can dogs experience loneliness? Quite easily, suggests Dr. Michael Fox, whose research indicates that the "emotional centers" of the dog's brain are similar to human emotional centers.**While studying human loneliness, psychologist James L. Lynch conducted a series of animal experiments showing, among other things, that petting produced profound effects on the cardiovascular systems of both dogs and humans.†Even more suggestively, Rupert Sheldrake's recent study on the telepathic powers of animals makes a strong case that many dogs possess telepathic connections with their owners.‡In a remarkable presentation grounded in serious science, Sheldrake shows that many dogs actually seem to know when their owners are returning home after lengthy absences. He comes to this conclusion from having conducted a number of controlled experiments that used simultaneous videography (owner-dog) and a random schedule for the owner to return home. After considering the possible reasons for the data, his best explanation is telepathy. If true, it would clearly demonstrate that animals are emotionally connected to their owners even when the owners are not present and that they do experience loneliness.

  This research merely confirms what professionals working with dogs have known all along. One of the biggest obstacles to healthy pet-owner relationships is pet loneliness. Dog owners, busy with their own activities, may never suspect that their friend suffers from isolation. A case in point: Sassy, an Airedale terrier, spent the hours between eight and five at home, alone. Her owners worked and there were no children in the family. She was purchased when she was four months old. Her owners were concerned that a younger puppy would not be able to adjust to long waiting periods alone. "Now we realize we should have purchased an even older, trained dog, used to entertaining herself alone," one of the distraught owners confessed. The ensuing conversation focused on how the age of the dog was to blame for the destruction the pet wreaked when the owners were gone. But after a week's observation, we noticed that Sassy responded well to four- or five-hour periods of isolation, entertaining herself with toys, napping, and looking out windows. She was not tense or anxious but became so after six or seven hours. We were able to observe the dog through a one-way mirror. Though her owners had complained of Sassy's lack of pizzazz and spirit, on our turf she was exuberant and playful.

  In our next interview with Sassy's owners, we explored new areas. Sassy rarely left the house. She had been in a car twice, the first time when she was brought home from the breeding kennel, and the second time for a visit to a vet. The owners rarely had guests in their own home but were active socially and went out often at night, leaving Sassy alone for a second lengthy period of time. Questions about play periods, obedience training, fetch games, and roughhousing elicited puzzled stares from the owners. The situation was becoming clear: Sassy was lonely and vented her frustration toward the end of long periods alone. Because she had been conditioned not to expect play periods or extra attention, her sullenness and lack of animation had become a generalized condition.

  We suggested a daily play session, with both owners on all fours. Advising against overly emotional hello or good-bye scenes, we

  It is vital to play with your dog. Here a rottweiler plays a retrieval game with her owner.

  nonetheless suggested a meal about half an hour after arriving home, followed by a walk through the neighborhood on leash. To bring Sassy into contact with more people, we recommended obedience training so that Sassy could be included in shopping trips, outings, and, if possible, parties and get-togethers with neighbors.

  Sassy recovered quickly, and the destruction stopped. Weeks later the owners reported that they had arranged for alternating trips home at noon to take the dog for a walk. They had ceased socially over-extending themselves in an effort to bolster their business careers, and they now reserved two nights a week to stay home, including their dog in the family circle. They began to host parties, taught Sassy standard obedience work and some parlor tricks, and showed her off to friends. They stopped excluding the dog from their lives, firmly integrating her into their daily schedules.

  Dogs are social animals, and they need to be included in a pack. Since we have deprived them of their normal pack — animals of their own species — and the freedom to set up social structures of their own, we must include them in our pack and help them adapt to human social structures. Because so many of us are simply out of touch with our own animality, and even more out of touch with the kingdom of animals, our initial reaction is to deny animals entrance to our human world. The old dichotomies of good and evil, body and spirit, animal and man, are still played out dramatically in pet-owner relationships.

  Many pet owners perceive their charges to be incapable of enjoying human company. The tendency is to isolate dogs rather than include them. Although dogs are allowed in supermarkets and restaurants in many parts of Europe, they are barred from such places in the United States, where they are considered a health hazard. Shopping centers and malls now frequently forbid pets, on or off leash, and in some large urban areas, dogs are even being prohibited from city parks. The social situation for our pets promises to get worse, not better. The capital of Iceland and Roosevelt Island in New York, to mention two areas, now forbid ownership of dogs. Dogs will continue to be ostracized and isolated as long as the pet population soars and owners act irresponsibly. What all this adds up to, from the dog's point of view, is more isolation, more boredom, and more loneliness. This, in a creature that is genetically a pack animal!

  But there are ways of providing an enrichi
ng communal life for your dog. First of all, don't leave your dog alone if you can help it. The built-in tendency is to leave the dog home, but stop and reflect: can I take the dog with me? You might be able to. We have a contractor friend who takes his dog Jennie with him to work every day. He has the dog trained to behave well in his car, and he takes appropriate precautions about parking in the shade and making sure she has enough ventilation and water. He is able to interact with her during coffee breaks and take her out for an exercise session at lunch, as well as interact with fellow workers. The benefit such contact has brought to their relationship is dramatic. Second, provide as much varied human interaction for your dog as possible. Obedience-train the dog to the come, sit, stay, and down level. Begin to take your dog to busy streets, shopping centers (if allowed), and other congested areas where your dog can observe people in motion, look at neutral passersby, and in general get a feel for what it is like to be around large groups of humans. If possible, extend this exposure to include family reunions, outdoor parties, and other situations.

  Keeping Your Dog Close

  At New Skete we try to keep our dogs with us as often as possible. A puppy begins by simply following the Brother in charge wherever he goes. Most puppies have a natural tendency to follow humans, and we try to maximize this inclination. New puppy owners should include a ten- or fifteen-minute session daily when they have their pup follow them, off lead, while changing pace, swooping into turns, and keeping the pup animated and happy with high-intensity encouragement. This simple procedure helps alleviate come-on-command problems later in life. Puppies who are hesitant about following their masters should be leashed, with the leash attached to a belt

  Most dogs can be happily integrated into your daily schedule. They love to be close by and watch.

  loop. The monks here often proceed with work that requires both hands simply by tying the pup and leash to their belt loops.

  Older dogs can be taught to follow and stay close using this same method. The older the animal, the more conditioning on leash is required before the dog gets the idea that staying close is a pleasant experience. Owners who complain that they cannot keep their dogs with them or take them along on outings because they will run away at the first opportunity should try a few days using the leash as an umbilical cord. Needless to say, other aspects of the dog-owner relationship must be in order if the dog is to learn to prefer the owner's company to any other activity.

  To give you an idea of how successfully a dog can be integrated into a busy schedule, let's look at two daytime rituals. The first is the schedule of a monk at New Skete, and the second is a timetable for a busy woman we'll call Mrs. Bede:

  Monk's Schedule

  5:00–6:30 A.M. New Skete monk rises. While he attends to personal care, dog is let into outdoor defecation and exercise run. While monk meditates and prepares for church, dog stays quietly in bedroom or in a kennel crate.

  7:15 A.M. Matins (morning prayer). Brother goes to church; dog waits in monk's room or a kennel pen. Dog is fed and left alone to eat. This helps pass the time until the monk returns, when dog is let out again into the run.

  8:00 A.M. Brother eats breakfast in monastery dining room. Dog lies down near dining-room wall until breakfast is finished. Afterward, monk may take a walk with dog.

  9:00 A.M. Work. If possible, monk takes dog with him wherever he is working that day. If not possible, dog is kept in a large outdoor exercise pen with a playmate. For Brothers cooking or doing house chores, dog is put nearby on a long down-stay, which is enforced. Monk does not allow random running around. Work in the church can be done with the dogs lying down in the sacristy.

  12 noon Monk eats lunch. While the Brothers eat, several dogs lie down nearby as at breakfast. No begging or coming to the table is allowed.

  Well-behaved dogs can be present at mealtime or at a snack break without becoming a nuisance.

  1:00 P.M. Afternoon work period. Same as morning work period for both monks and dogs.

  3:00 P.M. Some Brothers continue working, while others take their dogs for walks, give them obedience lessons, or give them a siesta time.

  5:00 P.M. Vespers. Brother goes to church; dog waits in room. Some dogs are fed again at this time.

  6:00 P.M. Same as above for meals.

  7:00 P.M. Community recreation. Dogs hold down-stays in a relaxed manner and are natural part of the communal atmosphere.

  approx. 8:00–9:00 P.M. Brother retires with dog to his room to read, prepare for sleep.

  On weekends, there are more church services and more free time. On Sundays after liturgy, dogs are socialized during a coffee hour with those who attended church.

  Mrs. Bede's Schedule

  7:00 A.M. Rises, takes dog from her bedroom and puts him outside in enclosed yard to take care of his needs, prepares breakfast for children. Helps prepare for school.

  8:00 A.M. Dog accompanies children to the bus stop in front of the house. Mrs. Bede calls dog back home immediately after bus departs. Dog eats.

  9:00 A.M. Dog watches indoors as Mrs. Bede attends to housework. 11:00 A.M. Shopping trip. Mrs. Bede loads dog and two preschoolers into car. Dog stays in the car while she shops.

  12 noon Dog lies by table as Mrs. Bede prepares lunch for preschoolers and herself.

  1:00 P.M. Children nap. Dog takes nap in children's room at same time. Mrs. Bede naps or does ironing, other housework.

  3:00 P.M. Two children return from school; dog instinctively goes to door to be let out to meet bus.

  3:15 P.M. Children and dog return from bus stop, have snack in kitchen. Children have play session in backyard with dog. After half an hour dog called in and confined.

  4:30 P.M. Mrs. Bede gives dog fifteen-minute obedience session in backyard, includes children in training session.

  4:45 P.M. Mrs. Bede prepares dinner with dog on down-stay in kitchen.

  5:30 P.M. Mr. Bede returns home, goes jogging with dog.

  6:30 P.M. Family eats, with dog on down-stay near table.

  7:30 P.M. Dog recreates, watches TV, etc., with family.

  10:45 P.M. Dog taken outside to eliminate.

  11:00 P.M. Dog retires in master bedroom for the night.

  Notice that both schedules keep the dog near his master. The dog is included, not excluded. The dog is often with people, although one or two private rest periods are included in both schedules, timed with human rest periods. Similarly, when humans are taking care of their personal needs, dogs are, too. The dogs are left alone to eat, in contrast with the "Grand Central Station" atmosphere of many pets' eating time. Periods of exercise are included. The dog is treated as a true companion and friend, part of the family circle. The dogs in these schedules are not treated as emotional cripples who need attention every minute of the day. This is particularly important to keep in mind with retired couples who may be caring for a dog. Because they normally have more free time than younger adults, the tendency is to go to the other extreme, whereby the dog is always with his owner, having no time to himself. If not handled reasonably, so much time together can result in dependency that makes kenneling and other necessary separations traumatic. Be sure to schedule some time each day when your dog is alone. On the other hand, these dogs' masters do not fall victim to the common dog myths we have already touched on — for instance, the myth that a dog needs to run free 80 percent of the day.

  To prevent canine loneliness and the possible destruction and neurotic behavior that can stem from it, integrate the dog into your schedule. Take time to map out your day, seeing how you can include the dog in it. Don't assume that your dog is automatically eliminated from certain activities or areas — ask, inquire, and train. Some owners may find it possible to take their dogs to work, if they are obedience-trained and quiet. In the best dog-owner relationships, isolation is usually the exception, rather than the rule.

  20

  Where Is Your Dog This Evening?

  Where does your dog sleep at night? If your answer is "in the be
droom, on the floor," you probably already know the gist of this chapter. If your reply is "in the cellar," "tied in the kitchen," or "in bed, with me," read on. We will discuss the value of "sleep therapy" for you and your dog, and how to go about it.

  One objection clients have when we suggest they have their dog sleep in the bedroom involves what they conceive of as the impropriety of the situation. One client put it this way: "I tie her in the kitchen at night. That's where she's always stayed. Sometimes she'll chew overnight. Until I got a steel tether, she used to chew right through the leather one until she got free. Then she would run into the bedroom. She would creep in, and I would discover her the next morning. So I began to shut the kitchen door. Then she learned how to open the latch on the kitchen door. So I shut the bedroom door. She began scratching on the bedroom door. What does this sound like to you?"

  "It sounds as if she's trying to get into the bedroom," we responded. "Did you ever consider letting her sleep in the bedroom?"

  "Heavens, no! My husband would never allow it. We might be in the middle of something! [Client clears her throat.] It just doesn't seem proper. But how am I going to teach her she belongs in the kitchen?"

  Hopefully this chapter will help the couple above, and others like them, to get over a phobia about having a dog in the bedroom overnight. However, if you are absolutely determined that the dog stay out of your bedroom, perhaps you can provide comfortable alternative sleeping conditions. Though we highly recommend letting the dog sleep in the bedroom, we can see how it can be a bad experience if a nervous owner is sending out negative vibrations all night. The dog will pick up on them. But if you can see the value of the experience, from the dog's point of view, and are willing to try it, you will be surprised how fast your phobias fade.