Bond: Stargazer Alien Mail Order Brides (Intergalactic Dating Agency)

by Tasha Black

  Though he did not share their thoughts, it was impossible not to taste their flavor. Most were happy and relaxed. Bond eased his own mood into theirs like sliding into a bathtub of warm water.

  A poster for the Fall Festival graced the front window of the grocery store. Magnum had asked Dr. Bhimani about it before. He was very pleased to hear about a day of delicious foods, topped off with games of skill and strength - even more so at the prospect of attending with Posey.

  A bell sang out as the door opened. Dr. Bhimani had explained that one did not knock on the door of a store. But the singing of the bell was like its own merry knock.

  Inside, rainbows of fruits and vegetables went on as far as he could see. Pickles bobbed with placid restfulness in their barrels, too similar to manatees and hippos to seem like food. Fragrant loaves of bread in every imaginable shape lined a large wire shelf. Bond decided he would eat several of them for his diner.

  On Aerie, energy came from starlight. Life was the movement of chasing the light that dappled the surface of the craggy planet.

  The idea that the humans’ energy source could be so pleasant to consume and so plentiful was incredible. On their first visit, Bond could not fathom why Dr. Bhimani didn’t buy it all.

  “Rima Bhimani, is that you?” a woman squealed, running out of the line with a basket over her arm.

  Rima smiled and went to the woman.

  Bond noticed how Magnum stepped in protectively to flank her. Interesting. He had thought those two weren’t getting along. It was so hard to tell since he stopped reading thoughts.

  “Hi, Ellie,” Rima said.

  “Wow, are these your friends?” Ellie asked, blinking at them from behind a large pair of spectacles.

  “Oh, um, yes, this is Magnum, Georgia, Rocky, Bond and Posey,” Rima said a bit awkwardly. “Guys, this is my friend, Ellie, from high school.”

  “Hey,” Ellie said, looking them over. “Don’t you guys look…cute?”

  “We’re Mennonites,” Georgia said.

  “Oh,” Ellie said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” Georgia replied. “Most people don’t know much about our customs.”

  “Do you use candles for light?” Ellie asked suddenly, as if Georgia’s statement had removed a cork from a bottle.

  “Oh, no,” Posey jumped in. “You’re thinking of the Amish. It’s a common mistake. Both religions began in the sixteen hundreds, and are considered Anabaptist, but the Amish are actually Old Mennonite…” Posey trailed off, seemingly unsure of what to say next. No one had ever made it this far into the story before.

  But Ellie was nodding and listening with great interest, as if she were expecting a test on Anabaptist religions of the sixteen hundreds to be given immediately after the conversation.

  “Oh don’t let us bore you with talk of religion,” Georgia broke in sweetly, ever the leader. “It was great to meet you, but we need to grab something to cook for dinner.”

  “Sure. It was great to meet you guys, and it was so nice to see you, Rima,” Ellie said and wrapped her arms around Rima.

  Rima hugged her back.

  Again, Bond noticed his brother’s discomfort.

  Then Posey’s hand locked around his in a vise-like grip.

  Bond looked down at her, but her head was turned to the door.

  He followed her gaze and saw the man from last night, flanked by his two friends - all three wore plaid patterned shirts over t-shirts and jeans, like the man in the television program named Larry, who had a brother called Darryl, and another brother who was also called Darryl.

  “Earl,” the shopkeeper said warmly.

  The man from last night gave the woman a benevolent smile.

  “Hey, Joyce, how’re the kids?” he asked.

  “Great, Earl, they’re great,” she beamed.

  But he had already turned to take a bag of candy from a shelf.

  Another man approached him, smiling.

  “Earl Road, great to see you. Say, thanks for the help with our driveway,” the man said, clapping him on the shoulder.

  “Don’t mention it, Pete. Your wife any better?” Earl asked.

  “Aw, she’s good, Earl, she’s going to be walking soon, that hip won’t get her down,” the other man crowed.

  But Earl had noticed Bond and his friends, and was no longer paying attention to the chattering man.

  “Magnum,” Bond said lightly, not wanting to take his eyes off the man.

  He felt his brother turn.

  “Well,” Earl said from across the store in a loud voice. “What have we here?”

  Bond pulled Posey behind him protectively.

  The shop went silent.

  The buzz of emotions in the store shifted from a happy hum to a confused hush, with veins of greedy delight that Bond didn’t understand. Who would be pleased about a conflict between friends?

  “I can’t believe you have the nerve to show up here,” Earl called to them.

  “We’re shopping for groceries,” Rima replied quietly. “Same as everyone else.”

  “Same as everyone else,” Earl repeated. “Same as everyone else… Then why are you dressed like that?”

  “You will not speak to Rima that way,” Magnum said, his voice so deep Bond swore the milk in the refrigerated case next to him shivered in its bottles.

  Bond felt the wave of fury washing over Earl.

  This was no good. Magnum would only stir the conflict.

  “We are here to celebrate our religion,” Bond said quickly. “We have no quarrel with you.”

  “Now here’s the thing,” Earl said, “you say you’re here because of your church, but I don’t see no church. I see a ratty looking observatory in the middle of nowhere, with a whack-job of a professor running it. I see three big dudes no one’s ever seen before that talk like they learned English on some kinda jihadi mission.”

  “Earl, that’s ridiculous—” Rima began.

  “—That’s enough, Rima,” Earl shouted. “Your mom ruined this town with her crazy predictions. Now she’s probably planning to blow it up. These guys are not red blooded American men.”

  Something dreadful had happened. Bond could feel it in the ice blue of Posey’s horror, flowing into his heart through their linked hands. Earl’s words were an unspeakable offense, though Bond was not sure he understood why.

  They had come to a crux. Action must be taken.

  Bond watched Magnum ball his hand into a tight fist.

  “I challenge you,” Bond said loudly, before anyone had a chance to act.

  He felt everyone turn to him.

  “What?” Earl said.

  “What?” Posey echoed.

  “I challenge you, Earl Road,” Bond repeated. “I am a red blooded man.”

  It was a strange thing to say, he hoped he had gotten it right.

  “You wanna fight me?” Earl asked, looking less certain than before.

  “No, I want to challenge you. My group against yours,” Bond said proudly, recalling the flyer he’d seen on the way in. “We will best you at the Festival of the Fall games.”

  The man to Earl’s right began to laugh through his nose.

  Earl smiled widely.

  “Let me get this right,” Earl said. “You’re challenging me to the Fall Festival Games?”

  Rima looked to the ground.

  “Yes,” Bond replied.

  “So if you win, then what?”

  “You will leave me and my friends alone,” Bond said, dutifully repeating the mantra that followed the challenge of every protagonist in a movie. He was very glad he had paid attention to the films. It was easy to be heroic when you knew what to say.

  “And if we win?” Earl asked.

  “Then we will fight with you physically, as you offered,” Bond said, inclining his head slightly.

  “No,” Earl said, narrowing his eyes. “No, if we win, you’ll leave town. Just pick up and go and we’ll never see you again.”

  There was a pause
in which Bond could feel his brothers begging him not to agree. But they would never question his right to speak for them. They had come as a team. And it was important not to show weakness in front of the women or the crowd.

  “Yes,” Bond agreed, offering the man his hand to seal the bargain.

  “Yeah, okay,” Earl agreed, taking Bond’s hand tentatively, as if it were a snake that might bite. “Did everyone hear that?” he asked, raising his voice. “When we beat these losers at the Fall Festival games, they’ll leave and they’ll never come back. Guess Dr. B will have to find herself a new lab.”

  He and his companions laughed, as if someone had made a joke, but Bond didn’t recognize any humor in his words.

  “No,” Rima cried, “we didn’t agree to that, just the boys—”

  But the crowd was already yelling and buzzing. It was too late.

  Bond’s heart sank as he tasted the bitterness of Rima’s thoughts. He had made a mistake. Now the girl and her mother might pay the price.

  But how could he and his brothers not win the games? They had been made to be big, strong and smart.

  No, they would win and Rima would smile sweetly again, which would make Posey happy, which would make Bond happy.

  Posey tugged hard on his hand and he had to fight himself not to listen to her thoughts of displeasure as they left the store with no food at all, not even a single loaf of delicious bread.

  20

  Posey

  Posey pulled Bond out of the store like an errant child.

  Thankfully, the muscle-bound giant allowed it. She was mad enough that she would have gladly dragged him out by his ear if it had come to that.

  She let go of his hand as soon as they made it to the sidewalk.

  “Posey,” he called after her.

  The sadness in his voice resonated in her heart, but she was already running after Rima.

  Rima walked briskly down the street with a hand pressed against her mouth as if she were trying not to cry.

  Posey caught up to her just as she reached the bench between the trees and the post office in the town square.

  Rima threw herself on the bench in the shelter of the autumn trees and buried her face in her hands. Tiny yellow leaves fell at her feet like petals. Posey paused for a moment unsure what to say, or how to reconcile the beauty of the scene with her friend’s sadness.

  “Rima, are you okay?” Georgia asked, storming past Posey and kneeling at their friend’s feet.

  Rima nodded, but when she lowered her hands, her face was wet with tears.

  “He hates me, he’s always hated us,” she sniffed. “But I thought it was just about his grandfather.”

  “What happened with his grandfather?” Georgia asked.

  Posey sat beside Rima and stroked her back.

  “Earl’s grandfather was the mayor of Thornfield - that’s what this town was called, before.

  “Then the message came that the aliens were on their way. The mayor came out to the observatory to see it for himself.

  “And he brought the circus. The scientists never wanted it, but Mayor Road practically bankrupted the town with new street signs and a new town name and the incentives to all those vendors to come and build the theme park and everything else.

  “When the aliens didn’t show up, Mayor Road became a laughing stock. He didn’t get reelected.

  “Earl’s dad, Jonathan Road, held it against my mom. He used to say she was nuts, he made weird UFO noises whenever we saw them in town.

  “And Earl just pretended I never existed. Which I guess was a gift. Everyone loved him though, he was the quarterback on the football team, president of the 4-H club, and he started volunteering for the fire company before he graduated high school. I’m surprised he hasn’t run for mayor yet himself.”

  Posey grabbed a tissue out of her purse and handed it to Rima, who blew her nose gently and stuck the tissue in her pocket.

  “You know the guys are literally made for this kind of thing, right?” Posey asked. “They’re strong and fast and smart.”

  “Yeah, but this challenge isn’t that simple,” Rima said, sniffing. “These games, they’re really for farmers, country guys. They require skills. Can you really see Magnum roping a steer?”

  Posey could not, but she didn’t like to say it, so she grabbed some lip-gloss out of her bag to reapply.

  “Well they can’t actually make us leave,” Georgia said.

  “Actually, they can,” Rima said. “I mean not because of the bet, but Earl’s got friends everywhere. He could have the Sanitation department claim our drive is too narrow, or have our insurance company terminate our policy, or have the police search us every day until my mom can’t do her work. Everyone loves Earl, everyone. We’ve only gotten this far because we’ve been able to lay low.”

  “We’ll figure it out,” Georgia said, straightening up and patting Rima’s knee in a very businesslike way.

  “Where are the boys?” Posey asked.

  “I told Rocky to give us some space,” Georgia remarked.

  “Wow, and he listened?” Posey asked, impressed.

  Georgia shrugged.

  “Girls, where are the boys?” Dr. Bhimani asked, her heels clipping the cobblestones as she approached.

  Georgia and Posey closed ranks in front of Rima so she could pull herself together.

  “They were heading home again, Dr. Bhimani. They sure do love to run, don’t they?” Georgia said.

  “Where’s our dinner?” Dr. Bhimani asked.

  “We made quite a splash at the grocery store,” Posey explained. “Forgot to even grab food.”

  “That’s okay, we’ll head back over now,” Dr. Bhimani said.

  “N-no,” Rima interjected. “The boys really enjoyed the pizza last night. Let’s order in again.”

  “Alright, Rima, but we can’t make a habit of it. I need to keep them… fit,” Dr. Bhimani said with a wink.

  Georgia laughed and after a moment Rima and Posey followed suit.

  There had to be a way out of this. Posey refused to believe that this determined group of smart women couldn’t resolve an argument with a bunch of yokels.

  Even if their leader seemed to be the town’s hero.

  21

  Bond

  “Magnum,” Bond said, trying to stick with their pledge to speak only with words.

  His brother ignored him. The larger man was wedged into a corner of the ship, testing bio-electrical connections. Though at the rate he was going, Bond wondered whether he was getting any useful feedback, or just going through the motions.

  Rocky gave Bond a significant look.

  Bond shook his head. He would not use telepathy.

  “Magnum, I’m sorry,” Bond said, the words bitter to his pride, but a necessary lubricant to the conversation they needed to have.

  “You fucked up,” Magnum spat, using the colorful language they had been told not to speak in front of the women.

  “Yes,” Bond agreed. “Now what?”

  “Now we have fewer choices than before. Now an enemy has been made,” Magnum replied.

  “We didn’t spill blood,” Bond pointed out.

  “We would have had the advantage in that arena,” Magnum roared, his deep voice bouncing off the titanium ceiling discs. “Instead now we fight in their arena. An arena we don’t understand.”

  “We’ve seen the rodeo,” Rocky pointed out cheerfully.

  “We watched a clown rodeo,” Magnum stormed. “Then we learned about clowns, remember? They are foolish creatures. Which is exactly what your brother wishes us to be, if we must judge by his behavior today.”

  “I’ve said I’m sorry, Magnum. Now help me fix it,” Bond said quietly, clenching his fists. Magnum might be the leader of their trio but not because Bond was weak.

  “It cannot be fixed,” Magnum insisted. “The date will come, the men will win their strange contest, and the distraction will mean the ship will not be repaired. We will die on this hateful planet.�
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  “But the ship has to be repaired,” Rocky said suddenly.

  “Agreed,” Bond said.

  “Then maybe you need to spend more time working on it and less sneaking into your woman’s room at night,” Magnum snorted.

  Oh.

  So this was the unspoken reason for the edge on his brother’s discomfort.

  “It’s true, I have grown to care for my woman,” Bond admitted.

  “Did you mate with her, brother?” Rocky asked with wide eyes.

  “No, Rocky, not yet,” Bond told him. “But I would like to, very much. And I will. I’m sure of it. Posey is unsure, but she is kind and willing, and I am patient. It must be more difficult with Georgia.”

  He hoped that opening the conversation would draw Magnum out.

  “Georgia is more assertive,” Rocky said thoughtfully.

  “My woman is a child,” Magnum scoffed.

  “She’s hardly a child,” Bond said with a half smile. But he understood what his brother meant. Rima’s innocence reminded him of Rocky.

  He longed to ask his brothers if they felt they had wrongly chosen each other’s mates, but he knew the question had rudeness at its core.

  Instead he voiced his own thought.

  “I cannot allow Posey’s home to be destroyed. We must repair the ship. Or at least the transmitter,” he said firmly.

  “I’m not convinced these creatures deserve saving,” Magnum said.

  “Magnum, you don’t mean that,” Rocky said.

  “Yes, I do mean it,” Magnum insisted.

  “If we don’t reach Aerie, they will blast this planet to bits,” Rocky said.

  “So be it,” Magnum said.

  “We’re still on it,” Rocky said.

  “Magnum is angry with me, brother,” Bond assured Rocky. “He would not allow the council to destroy a planet because I made an error.”

  “Bond,” Magnum said as if it were a silencing command and not a name. He pinched the bridge of his nose and then got up out of the corner where he had been perched. “I’m trying. You know I’m trying and I know you are too. But the transmitter may not be salvageable. We have only a short time. We cannot obtain the parts we need. And we do not yet know if these creatures are worthy. Yes, they are… attractive. But we were not sent here to report back about their reproductive appeal. We were sent here to see if we would merge with them. And none of us has yet merged.”