Bond: Stargazer Alien Mail Order Brides (Intergalactic Dating Agency)

by Tasha Black

  “I will merge with Posey,” Bond said firmly, hoping it was true.

  “And if you do, brother, your body will become fully human,” Magnum said. “I believe this means you will lose your gift, a gift that might be useful to us in escaping this planet if we don’t all merge.”

  “We will all merge,” Bond said. “We must.”

  “I will try,” Rocky promised.

  “My woman is not yet one with herself,” Magnum said dismissively. “She cannot merge with me.”

  “So you’re giving up on them? On us?” Bond asked striding up to Magnum like the famous Arnold Schwarzenegger, preparing for a termination.

  Magnum turned away.

  “Tell me you don’t feel sympathy for Rima,” Bond said softly. “You’re not a monster. Do you really intend to let her die?”

  “Of course not,” Magnum roared, turning on his heel to face Bond, as if he, too, were the famous Arnold Schwarzenegger. “I don’t want to see her die. I’m trying as hard as I can. But I’m not sure it can be done. We don’t have the parts we need, and the interstitial membranes of the control array have become contaminated from being exposed to air after the crash.”

  “Our ship is… sick?”

  “Something like that,” Magnum said. “And the antibiotic medication I got from Dr. Bhimani had no effect. If we don’t find something to stop the infection, it will spread, and the whole ship will be useless.”

  “Then we will find it,” Bond said with more confidence than he felt.

  22

  Posey

  Posey sat at the edge of the lake. She was half-tempted to take off her shoes and dip her toes in the water. Only the crisp fall air and a lifelong fear of frogs kept her feet in her shoes.

  The setting sun glowed orange at the horizon and reflected on the still surface of the water. The trees that surrounded the lake were scarlet and gold, and the combined effect was as if the world were on fire.

  Posey hadn’t communed with nature in a long time. It felt like it had been years since she had any time that wasn’t filled to bursting with studying and working.

  Without the buzz of schoolwork and money worries in her head, Posey felt more at peace now - even faced with the prospect of marrying a man from another planet - than she had for as long as she could remember.

  The gentle whir and chatter of the cicadas ebbed and flowed, while the scent of wet leaves all around and the feel of the cool grass beneath her lulled Posey into a state of peace. She wondered lazily if she could drag a sleeping bag out here. She had a feeling it would mean the best sleep of her life.

  “Posey!” Bond’s familiar voice carried across the marshy grass field.

  She turned to see him crossing the green space to join her by the lake. The breeze blew the white shirt against his tall, muscular form.

  “I missed you,” he said, his bright blue eyes sparkling.

  Posey grinned like an idiot. The handsome giant didn’t know how to play it cool, so why should she?

  “Is your friend okay?” he asked her, sitting down on the grass by her side.

  Posey shrugged.

  “She’s worried, but I’m not. We’ll figure it all out, right?”

  “Right,” Bond echoed, smiling slowly.

  “Why are you smiling?” Posey asked.

  “Because you are so beautiful,” Bond told her. “As lovely as a pig in mud.”

  “What?”

  “You are happy, in your right home. Is this not correct?”

  “Oh, yes, it’s ‘happy as a pig in slop.’ And you can say it about yourself, but not about someone else,” Posey explained.

  “Why not?” he asked.

  “Because being called a pig is a bad thing,” she told him.

  “A pig is an intelligent creature,” Bond said with a furrowed brow. “And very nutritious.”

  “Yes, well… it doesn’t make sense but here we are,” Posey said, preferring to take in the sunset rather than argue the point. “We’ll talk about it another time. Right now I just want to enjoy the lake.”

  “And I want to enjoy Posey Quinn,” Bond said.

  Before she could argue he had pulled her in for a kiss.

  Maybe it was only the wild cry of the cicadas or the natural setting working its way into her pores, but Posey’s heart sang from the moment Bond’s warm mouth took hers.

  He kissed her so long she could hardly breathe, then pulled back slightly, fixing her with his bright blue gaze.

  “Posey,” he murmured, looking down at her as if she were his lover and his child all at once.

  “Hello?” a small voice called from across the field.

  “Jupiter’s beard,” Bond grumbled.

  Posey jumped up, somehow feeling like a high school student being called out for a public display of affection. She tried and failed not to giggle at Bond’s strange curse. It must have come from some classic book or other that had been in the virtual time capsule.

  Bond got up and took her hand as they walked back toward the observatory and the small figure beside it.

  “Ellie?” Posey asked as they got closer, remembering Rima’s friend from the store.

  “Hi there, is it Georgia?” the girl asked uncertainly.

  “No, Georgia’s inside. I’m Posey, and this is Bond,” Posey explained.

  “Oh, hi again,” Ellie said, looking embarrassed.

  “Were you looking for Rima?” Posey asked.

  There was a slight pause, during which Ellie looked around awkwardly, her gaze fell on Bond’s broad chest, and she turned red and looked back at her feet.

  “I… um, I have always felt a bit like a lost soul,” Ellie began.

  Bond cocked his head as Posey looked on in horrified wonder.

  “My parents never really took me to church or anything. And I wanted to learn more… you know, about your faith,” she said. The gentle light in the girl’s eyes made Posey feel like a monster.

  Just then the door to the observatory flew open.

  “Ellie,” Dr. Bhimani called happily.

  “Oh, hi, Dr. Bhimani, how are you?” Ellie asked with a relaxed smile.

  “Great, sweetheart! Are you here for Rima?” Dr. Bhimani asked, turning as if to go for her daughter.

  “I’m here to learn more about becoming a Mennonite,” Ellie said, with conviction this time.

  “Oh,” Dr. Bhimani said. “Well… great! Come on in.”

  “I brought a few friends,” Ellie hedged.

  “You did?” Dr. Bhimani asked.

  “Is that okay?” Ellie asked anxiously.

  “Oh, it’s fine, honey. Come on in, glad to have you,” Dr. Bhimani said, then turned to Posey. “Posey, why don’t you and Bond go welcome our guests. I’ll put on some more tea.”

  Her voice was the same contralto as ever, but Posey could hear the tension in it.

  Ellie scrambled back down the stairs and out to the beat-up blue hatchback she’d arrived in.

  Posey looked at Bond, who shrugged.

  A moment later, Ellie returned with two more people.

  Posey hadn’t noticed that Ellie was wearing white jeans and a white t-shirt. But seeing her with her two friends, it was clear they were trying to match their fashion ideas to the fake Mennonites already.

  A young guy with a blonde beard wearing a white billowing pirate shirt and jeans followed Ellie, and behind them both, another man wearing what appeared to be a white karate gi without a belt brought up the rear. Posey recognized the last as the karaoke singer they’d interrupted. He was wearing less eye makeup, but it was him.

  “Hey,” Ellie said. “This is Calvin and Tom.”

  Calvin steepled his hands and bowed slightly.

  Tom made an awkward little wave.

  “Er, hi there,” Posey said, nodding back.

  “Are you the Peeping Tom Posey has told me about?” Bond asked loudly.

  “I…um, never,” the smaller man stammered, clearly caught off guard. “No.”

  “The
n I am pleased to meet you,” Bond boomed, offering them his hand in turn.

  They both shook, looking relieved that there wasn’t a complicated ceremonial greeting.

  “Please come in,” Posey invited them.

  They all climbed the stairs in solemn silence. Bond opened the door and when they stepped inside they saw that the others were gathered on the sofas in the observatory itself.

  Dr. Bhimani had made tea, and there was a plate of graham crackers.

  Rima had a nervous expression. Posey hoped that Ellie would be self-conscious enough herself not to notice it.

  “Welcome,” Georgia said. “I’m going to lead us all in a bit of meditation.”

  “But w-we have so many questions,” Ellie stammered.

  Georgia’s confident smile went weak around the edges.

  “Many of the answers you seek can be found within,” Bond replied smoothly.

  “Tea, anyone?” Dr. Bhimani asked.

  It was going to be a long night.

  23

  Posey

  Posey smiled and tried to keep a clear head as Bond led her through the crowded bar.

  His big hand around hers gave her the same warm, sweet feeling as it had the first time. But this wasn’t a date. No matter what her heart was trying to tell her, or how much she enjoyed kissing him, Posey was not going to fall in love.

  She was just going to see if he had an aptitude for riding a mechanical bull.

  They reached the corner where the bull sat, blissfully unattended.

  Posey wondered if it would even work.

  She opened her bag and pulled out the jar of quarters she’d scavenged from every corner and couch cushion in the observatory.

  “Why do you have so many coins?” Bond asked. “Dr. Bhimani has kindly given us her credit card.”

  “You can’t use a credit card for this machine,” Posey explained.

  “Why not?”

  “Because the machine is very old.”

  Bond nodded in acknowledgement.

  “Okay, so you’re going to get on, and then it’s going to start moving around, but you have to stay on,” Posey explained.

  “I have to stay on,” he repeated.

  “Yes, exactly. Stay on as long as you can, that’s the game,” Posey told him.

  “Let’s do it,” he told her, brushing the top of her head with his lips casually on his way to the bull.

  Though the bar was crowded, there was really no one back here, for which Posey was grateful.

  Not for the first time, she shook her head at the situation. But she couldn’t think of a better way to teach Bond to ride a bull and he needed to learn if they were going to have any shot at winning the Fall Festival Games.

  The big man strode up to the leather-covered metal bull and straddled it.

  “Hold on,” Posey said.

  He grabbed the leather handle on the saddle.

  “Ready?” she asked.

  He nodded.

  She fed eight quarters in and stepped back.

  Some tinny cowboy music began to play.

  “Time to hit the trail, boss,” an announcer’s voice twanged.

  The metal bull groaned and then sprang to life with a jerk.

  Bond looked a little startled, but he hung on.

  Slowly, the bull began to rotate, more like an elderly couple waltzing than a rodeo.

  Bond winked at Posey on the way past.

  Just when she had given up hope that he would get anything out of the ride, the bull suddenly flung him forward.

  Bond flew through the air and landed on his back on the mats.

  “Oh my god, are you okay?” Posey asked, scrambling over.

  He sat up.

  He looked at her, with startled blue eyes.

  Then he threw his head back and laughed and laughed.

  Posey couldn’t contain her own laughter.

  “I’m okay, Posey Quinn,” he told her, getting up. “Let’s try again.”

  She put in more quarters.

  The next time he stayed on longer, anticipating the jerking forward motion.

  But when the bull stopped bucking and started to spin like a top he sailed off it and hit the pads again.

  He tried a few more times. A group of slightly tipsy girls, who Posey wasn’t a hundred percent sure were even old enough to drink, wandered over to ogle him.

  Posey tried not to gnash her teeth.

  “Posey Quinn,” he called to her from on top of the bull.

  “Concentrate,” she told him.

  “Posey Quinn, let’s get a drink,” he suggested as he flailed by.

  “Oh my god, just hold on,” Posey said.

  The spectating girls giggled.

  “I’ll get a drink with you,” the bravest one shouted.

  Posey cautioned herself not to get jealous. Bond was not her boyfriend. She was just… temporarily getting to know him.

  Bond slid slowly off the side of the bull, crashing gently to the ground in his longest ride yet. Still a long way from rodeo material, but at least he was making progress.

  The girls screamed as he got up and bowed to them with steepled hands, like the bow Calvin had made back at the observatory. Sharp as a tack this one - he picked things up so quickly. Even though it had seemed cheesy coming from Calvin, somehow everything looked cool when Bond did it.

  The girls giggled some more.

  But Bond turned immediately to Posey, reaching for her hand as if she might float away like a helium balloon if he weren’t holding onto her.

  She took his hand and Bond pulled her in close.

  Posey reached up and cupped his cheek, knowing she was doing it for all the wrong reasons, but unable to keep herself from marking her territory.

  Sorry ladies, get your own hunky alien.

  Bond covered her hand with his own.

  They stood there for a strange and wonderful moment, like nothing else existed in all the world.

  24

  Posey

  Posey felt like she could see the whole galaxy in Bond’s eyes. How much had they witnessed?

  “Posey,” he said, his blue eyes seeming to send sparks through her.

  “Bond,” a deep voice called to them from across the bar.

  Posey dropped her hand from his face, and turned.

  Magnum was headed their way with Rima, Georgia and Rocky in tow.

  “I thought you were practicing,” Magnum said.

  “I was,” Bond replied.

  “He needed a break,” Posey explained.

  “Let’s get some food,” Georgia said. “We need to talk anyway.”

  She headed over to a large booth with Rocky in tow and the others followed, even Magnum, after a brief pause.

  Posey wondered how often Magnum had to cede control. He was a pretty bossy guy.

  She sat and Bond slid in next to her. Magnum and Rima sat opposite them.

  A pretty waitress came up, utterly unable to contain her open-mouthed admiration of Rocky.

  “Six burgers with fries, six beers,” Georgia told the waitress crisply.

  “What kind of beer? We have an Oktoberfest on tap and a pumpkin brew—” the girl began.

  “—Surprise us,” Georgia said dismissively.

  “I’d like some nuclear wings,” Posey added.

  “Gross,” Georgia said.

  The waitress shrugged and left.

  Georgia smirked a little.

  At least Posey wasn’t the only one feeling a bit protective of her match.

  Bond wrapped an arm around her as if he had read her thoughts.

  She glanced up at him suspiciously, but his attention was fixed on Magnum.

  “We need to make a plan,” Georgia said, pulling a small note pad out of her pocket. “Rima, did the list of events come out today?”

  Rima shook her head.

  “How are people supposed to train?” Georgia asked.

  “It’s really just a festival, you know,” Rima said. “The Civic Associat
ion sponsors it. It’s not the Olympics or something,”

  “How do you know there’s bull riding?” Georgia asked, tapping the pad with the pen.

  “Well there’s always bull riding,” Rima said.

  “Fine.” Georgia turned to Bond. “How’s the bull riding going?”

  “My skill is improving, though it would be more enjoyable if the bull moved more slowly,” Bond observed.

  “No doubt,” Georgia said, making a note on the pad, while Posey tried not to giggle.

  “It’s up,” Rima exclaimed, scrolling through the page on her phone.

  “Okay, what have we got?” Georgia asked.

  “Space Cowboy is on there,” Rima said.

  “What the hell is that?” Georgia asked.

  “Bull riding,” Rima said. “Everything is space themed.”

  “Of course it is,” Georgia said. “What else?”

  “Oh, wow,” Rima said. “Saucer Tosser.”

  “What’s that?” Posey asked.

  “It’s Frisbee,” Rima said, her eyes sparkling. Rima wasn’t exactly the athletic type, but she did play Ultimate Frisbee at school, and her habit of falling down was more than made up for by her deadly accuracy with a plastic throwing disc.

  “Good, you’ve got that then,” Georgia said, making a note. “What else?”

  “Mr. Universe,” Rima said. “Arm wrestling.”

  “Magnum that’s you,” Georgia said, making a note.

  “What is arm wrestling?” Magnum asked suspiciously.

  “It’s a test of strength,” Rima explained.

  “Excellent,” Magnum smiled and leaned back.

  “Then there’s Star Games, that’s sharpshooting,” Rima said.

  “Mine,” Georgia announced, with a flourish of her pen.

  “And finally, Moon Pie Eating Contest and Celestial Sack Race,” Rima said, looking up at Posey and Rocky.

  Posey sighed. She liked to eat pie as much as the next girl but she doubted she could eat as much pie as Rocky.